The Tenants of Malory, Volume 2

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The Tenants of Malory, Volume 2 Page 17

by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu


  CHAPTER XVII.

  AN OVATION.

  CLEVE had no dinner; he had supped full of horrors. He got on his coatand hat, and appeared nowhere that evening, but took an immense walkinstead, in the hope I dare say of tiring out his agony--perhaps simplybecause quietude and uninterrupted thought were unendurable.

  Next day hope began a little to revive. An inventive mind isinexhaustible; and are not the resources of delay always considerable?

  Who could have been acting upon his uncle's mind in this matter? Thespring of Lord Verney's action was seldom quite within himself. All atonce he recollected that he had come suddenly upon what seemed anunusually secret conference between his uncle and Mr. Larkin about tendays since; it was in the library. He was sure the conversation had somereference to him. His uncle looked both annoyed and embarrassed when hecame into the room; even the practised countenance of Mr. Larkinbetrayed some faint signs of confusion.

  Larkin he knew had been down in the neighbourhood of Ware, and probablyin Cardyllian. Had anything reached him about the Malory romance? Mr.Larkin was a man who would not stick at trifles in hunting up evidence,and all that concerned _him_ would now interest Mr. Larkin, and Clevehad too high an opinion of that gentleman's sagacity not to assume thatif he had obtained the clue to his mystery he would make capital of thesecret with Lord Verney. _Viscera magnorum domuum_--nothing like secretrelations--confidences,--and what might not come of this? Of course, thefirst result would be a peremptory order on which Lord Verney had spokenlast night. The only safety for the young man, it will be concluded, isto marry him suitably forthwith.

  And--by Jove!--a flash of light! He had it! The whole thing was clearnow. Yes; _he_ was to be married to Caroline Oldys, because Mr. Larkinwas the professional right hand of that family, and so the attorneywould glide ultimately into the absolute command of the House of Verney!

  To think of that indescribably vulgar rogue's actually shaping thefortunes and meting out the tortures of Cleve Verney.

  How much of our miseries result from the folly of those who would serveus! Here was Viscount Verney with, as respected Cleve, the issues oflife very much in his fingers, dropping through sheer imbecility intothe coarse hands of that odious attorney!

  Cleve trembled with rage as he thought of the degradation to which thatpompous fool, Lord Verney, was consigning him, yet what was to be done?Cleve was absolutely at the disposal of the peer, and the peer wasunconsciously placing himself in the hands of Mr. Larkin, to be workedlike a puppet, and spoken for by the Pharisaical attorney.

  Cleve's theory hung together plausibly. It would have been gross follyto betray his jealousy of the attorney, whose opportunities with hisuncle he had no means of limiting or interrupting, and against whom hehad as yet no case.

  He was gifted with a pretty talent for dissimulation; Mr. Larkincongratulated himself in secret upon Cleve's growing esteem andconfidence. The young gentleman's manner was gracious and even friendlyto a degree that was quite marked, and the unconscious attorney wouldhave been startled had he learned on a sudden how much he hated him.

  Ware--that great house which all across the estuary in which itsprincely front was reflected, made quite a feature in the landscapesketched by so many tourists, from the pier on the shingle of Cardyllianon bright summer days, was about to be re-habilitated, and very splendiddoings were to follow.

  In the mean time, before the architects and contractors, the plumbers,and painters, and carpenters, and carvers, and gilders had takenpossession, and before those wonderful artists in stucco who were toencrust and overspread the ceilings with noble designs, rich andgraceful and light, of fruit and flowers and cupids, and from memory,not having read the guide-book of Cardyllian and its vicinity for morethan a year, I should be afraid to say what arabesques, and imagerybeside, had entered with their cements and their scaffolding; and beforethe three brother artists had got their passports for England who wereto paint on the panels of the doors such festive pieces as Watteauloved. In short, before the chaos and confusion that attend the throesof that sort of creation had set in, Lord Verney was to make a visit ofa few days to Ware, and was to visit Cardyllian and to receive acongratulatory address from the corporation of that ancient town, and toinspect the gas-works (which I am glad to say are hid away in a littlehollow), and the two fountains which supply the town--constructed, asthe inscription tells, at the expense of "the Right Honourable KiffynFulke, Nineteenth Viscount Verney, and Twenty-ninth Baron Penruthyn, ofMalory." What else his lordship was to see, and to do, and to say on theday of his visit the county and other newspapers round about printedwhen the spectacle was actually over, and the great doings matter ofhistory.

  There were arches of evergreens and artificial flowers of paper, amongwhich were very tolerable hollyhocks, though the roses were startling.Under these, Lord Viscount Verney and the "distinguished party" whoaccompanied him passed up Castle Street to the town-hall, where he wasreceived by the mayor and town-councillors, accompanied and fortified bythe town-clerk and other functionaries, all smiling except the mayor, onwhom weighed the solemn responsibility of having to read the address, acomposition, and no mean one, of the Rev. Dr. Splayfoot, who attendedwith parental anxiety "to see the little matter through," as he phrasedit, and was so awfully engaged that Mrs. Splayfoot, who was on his arm,and asked him twice, in a whisper, whether the tall lady in purple silkwas Lady Wimbledon, without receiving the slightest intimation that shewas so much as heard, remarked testily that she hoped he would notwrite many more addresses, inasmuch as it made him ill-bred to thatdegree that if the town-hall had fallen during the reading, he neverwould have perceived it till he had shaken his ears in kingdom-come.Lord Verney read his answer, which there was much anxiety and pressureto hear.

  "Now it really _was_ be-autiful--_wasn't_ it?" our friend Mrs. Jones,the draper, whispered, in particular reference to that part of it, inwhich the viscount invoked the blessing of the Almighty upon himself andhis doings, gracefully admitting that in contravention of the Divinewill and the decrees of heaven, even he could not be expected toaccomplish much, though with the best intentions. And Captain Shrapnell,who felt that the sentiment was religious, and was anxious to beconspicuous, standing with his hat in his hand, with a sublimeexpression of countenance, said in an audible voice--"_Amen_."

  All this over, and the building inspected, the distinguished party wereconducted by the mayor, the militia band accompanying theirmarch--[air--"The Meeting of the Waters"]--to the "Fountains" inGunner's Lane, to which I have already alluded.

  Here they were greeted by a detachment of the Llanwthyn TemperanceUnion, headed by short, fat Thomas Pritchard, the interesting apostleof total abstinence, who used to preach on the subject alternately inWelsh and English in all the towns who would hear his gospel, in most ofwhich he was remembered as having been repeatedly fined for publicintoxication, and known by the familiar pet-name of "Swipey Tom," beforehis remarkable conversion.

  Mr. Pritchard now led the choir of the Lanwthyn Temperance Union,consisting of seven members, of various sizes, dressed in their Sundaycostume, and standing in a row in front of fountain No. 1--each with hishat in his left hand and a tumbler of fair water in his right.

  Good Mrs. Jones, who had a vague sense of fun, and remembered anecdotesof the principal figure in this imposing spectacle, did laugh a littlemodestly into her handkerchief, and answered the admonitory jog of herhusband's elbow by pleading--"_Poor_ fellows! Well, you know it _is_odd--there's no denying _that_ you _know_;" and from the background wereheard some jeers from the excursionists who visited Cardyllian for thatgala, which kept Hughes, the Cardyllian policeman, and Evans, the other"horney," who had been drafted from Llwynan, to help to overawe theturbulent, very hot and active during that part of the ceremony.

  Particularly unruly was John Swillers, who, having failed as a publicanin Liverpool, in consequence of his practice of drinking the greaterpart of his own stock in trade, had migrated to "The Golden Posts" inChurch Street, Cardyllian, wh
ere he ceased to roll his barrel, set uphis tressels, and had tabernacled for the present, drinking his usualproportion of his own liquors, and expecting the hour of a newmigration.

  Over the heads of the spectators and the admiring natives of Cardyllianwere heard such exhortations as "Go it, Swipey." "There's gin in that,""Five shillin's for his vorship, Swipey," "I say, Swipey Tom, pay yourscore at the Golden Posts, will ye?" "Will ye go a bit on the stretcher,Swipey?" "Here's two horneys as 'll take ye home arter that."

  And these interruptions, I am sorry to say, continued, notwithstandingthe remonstrances which Mr. Hughes addressed almost pathetically to JohnSwillers of the Golden Posts, as a respectable citizen of Cardyllian,one from whose position the police were led to expect assistance and thepopulace an example. There was something in these expostulations whichstruck John Swillers, for he would look with a tipsy solemnity inHughes's face while he delivered them, and once took his hand, ratheraffectionately, and said, "That's your sort." But invariably theseunpleasant interpolations were resumed, and did not cease until thismoral exhibition had ended with the last verse of the temperance song,chanted by the deputation with great vigour, in unison, and which, asthe reader will perceive, had in it a Bacchanalian character, whichstruck even the gravest listeners as a hollow mockery:--

  Refreshing more than sinful swipes, The weary man Who quaffs a can, That sparkling foams through leaden pipes.

  CHORUS.

  Let every man Then, fill his can, And fill the glass Of every lass In brimming bumpers sparkling clear, To pledge the health of Verney's Peer!

  And then came a chill and ghastly "hip-hip, hurrah," and with somegracious inquiries on Lord Verney's part, as to the numbers, progress,and finances of "their interesting association," and a subscription often pounds, which Mr. John Swillers took leave to remark, "wouldn't belaid out on water, by _no_ means," the viscount, with grand and radiantMr. Larkin at his elbow, and frequently murmuring in his ear--to theinfinite disgust of my friend, Wynne Williams, the Cardyllian attorney,thus out-strutted and out-crowed on his own rustic elevation--waswinning golden opinions from all sorts of men.

  The party went on, after the wonders of the town had been exhausted, tolook at Malory, and thence returned to a collation, at which toasts weretoasted and speeches spoken, and Captain Shrapnell spoke, byarrangement, for the ladies of Cardyllian in his usual graceful andfacetious manner, with all the puns and happy allusions which a month'sprivate diligence, and, I am sorry to say, some shameless plagiarismsfrom three old numbers of poor Tom Hood's "Comic Annual," could gettogether, and the gallant captain concluded by observing that the noblelord whom they had that day the honour and happiness to congratulate,intended, he understood, everything that was splendid and liberal andhandsome, and that the town of Cardyllian, in the full radiance of themeridian sunshine, whose golden splendour proceeded from the_south_--"The cardinal point at which the great house of Ware is visiblefrom the Green of Cardyllian"--(hear, hear, and laughter)--"thereremained but one grievance to be redressed, and that set to rights,every ground of complaint would slumber for ever, he might say, in thegreat bed of Ware"--(loud cheers and laughter)--"and what was thatcomplaint? He was instructed by his fair, lovely, and beautifulclients--the ladies of Cardyllian--some of whom he saw in the gallery,and some still more happily situated at the festive board"--(a laugh)."Well, he was, he repeated, instructed by them to say that there was oneobvious duty which the noble lord owed to his ancient name--to the fameof his public position--to the coronet, whose golden band encircled hisdistinguished brow--and above all, to the ancient feudal dependency ofCardyllian"--(hear, hear)--"and that was to select from his county'sbeauty, fascination, and accomplishment, and he might say loveliness, apartner worthy to share the ermine and the coronet and the name andthe--ermine" (hear, hear) "of the ancient house of Verney" (loudcheers); "and need he add that when the selection was made, it was hopedand trusted and aspired after, that the selection would not be made ahundred miles away from the ivied turrets, the feudal ruins, the gushingfountains, and the spacious town-hall of Cardyllian" (loud andlong-continued cheering, amid which the gallant captain, very hot, andred, and smiling furiously, sat down with a sort of lurch, and drank offa glass of champagne, and laughed and giggled a little in his chair,while the "cheering and laughter" continued).

  And Lord Verney rose, not at all hurt by this liberty, very much amusedon the contrary, and in high good humour his lordship said,--

  "Allow me to say--I am sure you will"--(hear, hear, and cries of "Wewill")--"I say, I am sure you will permit me to say that the ladies ofCardyllian, a-a-about it, seem to me to have chosen a very eloquentspokesman in the gallant, and I have no doubt, distinguished officer whohas just addressed the house. We have all been entertained by theeloquence of Captain Scollop"--[here the mayor deferentially whisperedsomething to the noble orator]--"I beg pardon--Captain Grapnell--whosits at the table, with his glass of wine, about it--and very good wineit is--his glass, I say, where it should be, in his hand"--(hear, hear,and laughter, and "You got it there, captain"). "And I assure thegallant captain I did not mean to be severe--only we were alljoking--and I do say that he has his hand--my gallant friend, CaptainGrabblet, has it--where every gallant officer's ought to be, about it,and that is, upon his weapon"--(hear, hear, laughter, and cries of "Hislordship's too strong for you, captain"). "I don't mean to hurt him,though, about it," (renewed cries of hear, and laughter, during whichthe captain shook his ears a little, smiling into his glass ratherfoolishly, as a man who was getting the worst of it, and knew it, buttook it pleasantly). "No, it would not be fair to the ladies about it,"(renewed laughter and cheering), "and all I _will_ say is this, aboutit--there are parts of Captain Scraplet's speech, which I shan'tundertake to answer at this moment. I feel that I am trespassing, aboutit, for a much longer time than I had intended," (loud cries of "No, no,go on, go on," and cheering, during which the mayor whispered somethingto the noble lord, who, having heard it twice or thrice repeated, noddedto the mayor in evident apprehension, and when silence was restored,proceeded to say), "I have just heard, without meaning to say anythingunfair of the gallant captain, Captain Scalpel, that he is hardlyhimself qualified to give me the excellent advice, about it, which Ireceived from him; for they tell me that he has rather run away, aboutit, from his colours, on that occasion." (Great laughter and cheering)."I should be sorry to wound Captain Shat--Scat--Scrap, the gallantcaptain, to wound him, I say, even in front." (Laughter, cheering, and avoice from the gallery "Hit him hard, and he won't swell," "Order.")"But I think I was bound to make that observation in the interest of theladies of Cardyllian, about it;" (renewed laughter); "and, for my part,I promise my gallant friend--my--captain--about it--that although I maytake some time, like himself" (loud laughter); "although I cannot letfall, about it, any observation that may commit me, yet I do promise tomeditate on the excellent advice he has been so good as to give me,about it." And the noble lord resumed his seat amid uproarious cheeringand general laughter, wondering what had happened to put him in thevein, and regretting that some of the people at Downing Street had notbeen present to hear it, and witness its effect.

 

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