by Tara Brown
“What? She dumped me. What do you honestly think I can do about that?”
“You didn’t want to date her. You did this.”
Apparently my ploy to be dumped hadn’t helped. At all.
“You’re bullshit.” Dad pointed again, stepping toward me.
I stepped forward, looking him right in the eyes, and actually down on him. I was sober, bigger, stronger, and angry in a way he didn’t know I could be. My trembling hands whispered bad ideas to my brain. “What are you going to do to me? Get me a lobotomy and force Amy on me? You can’t even spell lobotomy. And Amy wouldn’t take me back if her life depended on it. She was using me to make her parents happy. She has another boyfriend they hate.” The truth, or some version of it, accidentally slipped out.
“Don’t do this.” Mom stepped in between us and pushed him back. “Don’t do this.”
“Go sleep it off.” I pointed at the bedroom door.
“Don’t you talk to me like that!” He pushed past Mom, knocking her into the bureau and reaching for me. I slapped his hands away and shoved him back, pushing hard on his chest. He stumbled, losing his balance. I’d never seen him this way before.
“Jordie, don’t!” Mom shouted behind me, begging.
“Jordie!” Stephen and Monty shouted my name from the hallway.
I realized in that moment my arm was back and my fist was balled. I had Dad’s shirt in my other hand, and I was about to give him the beating of a lifetime. I didn’t even notice we’d gotten here. Or remember how. But Dad was cowering, and Mom was crying, and I was filled with rage I couldn’t explain. I hated him, and I wasn’t even sure why.
“Get the fuck outta my house!” He spat his words at me. “You’re no son of mine.”
“Been waiting my whole life to be able to say that, haven’t you?” I released him, letting him fall back on my bed.
“Jordan!” My mom ran after me, grabbing my arm and spinning me. “Go to Grandpa.” She kissed me on the cheek, and for the first time in a long time, I felt the presence of my mother in the embrace.
“I don’t need you people.” I muttered it like I was strong, but that wasn’t the truth. They were breaking my heart.
And then my brother and my friend grabbed me, dragging me away.
It was not my finest moment.
Not by a long shot.
But I was finding my own way now, as nobody’s son.
Chapter Thirty-One
A MATTER OF THE “HART”
Lacey
I fixed my skirt again and cleared my throat as I waited in the hallway.
I’d done presentations at school, but never something like this.
The boardroom wasn’t packed, there weren’t dozens of people, but the importance of this pitch felt like I was delivering a presidential address. In that room was Mr. La Croix and the main team, eight people all waiting for me to present the bugs in a way that would appeal to the masses.
“Hey,” Hennie whispered from down the hall, interrupting my poor mental warm-up. “I came to wish you good luck.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll watch from here. You got this.” She smiled wide.
“I got this,” I whispered back, noting a bit of sweat on my upper lip.
“We’re ready for you.” One of the ladies from the team had opened the door and spoken softly. She winked at me, like she was wishing me good luck.
“You got this,” Hennie repeated as I disappeared into the boardroom.
“Good morning.” I smiled at everyone.
“Good morning, kiddo.” Mr. La Croix beamed with pride. That made all of this more nerve-racking.
“All right, well, I’ll get to it. As we all know, these bars are made with a prebiotic fiber, which is good for healthy stomachs, bowels, and colons. And the fat from the crickets is actually good for you, too, weirdly enough. The protein is high quality. So the food source is one of the best in the world for the world. It even comes with the added benefit of spermidine, which is great for anti-aging. As a result of all this awesome information, I have truly been convinced that these bars benefit not only our bodies but the world around us.
“But to convince people to eat bugs, I knew we would need to go outside the box. And ultimately, I decided not to go for the weight-loss benefits. There’s enough fad food out there already. Instead, there is one thing this generation thinks about a lot, most likely thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio: the environment. Concern about the earth and our chances of surviving the waste and pillage of the planet after the industrial revolution and the tech era actually plagues most people my age. They worry a lot about the world they’re inheriting.
“And the one thing these bars do that no other protein source in the world does is hit hard on the water usage farmers require in comparison to cattle or chicken farming. Even the plant-based proteins can’t compete with crickets. They can be grown and harvested all year long, requiring far less from the world and giving back more than any other type of food. Farming them creates very little waste, so the footprint of these farms is almost nonexistent. If you will draw your eyes here, I have made a brief advertorial.” I clicked the TV on and pressed “Play.”
As the ad started, my recorded voice went on about how little water, land, and resources cricket farming required as images of third-world countries played in the background, with facts toward solving the food crisis. Mr. La Croix caught my eye and nodded.
The commercial ended with the symbol of a heart. I stood again.
“And this is the symbol we would go for. We buy land and build cricket farms called Hart Farms. From those farms, we will produce the Hart Bars. Hart because cricket protein will become the beating heart of efforts to end the world’s food and resource crisis. Not to mention the positive effects this would have on the earth as we slowed our cattle, soy, and pork farming, making those foods gourmet, if you will. Farmers would be able to switch to cricket farming, and their overhead would virtually diminish. As the world is being saved one Hart Bar at a time, the educated and earth conscious will feel confident about supporting this product. It’s common sense. From a universal ‘hartbeat.’”
I finished and held my breath as they all sat there, staring.
After several moments, Mr. La Croix made the face, the one I was waiting for. He smiled and nodded. “Excellent research, Lacey. And the environmental focus will hit this one home. Well done. Hart Bars. I love it.”
Everyone else started to clap.
For the first time in a week, I sighed, knowing that I had done one thing with my own “hart” and integrity intact. “Thank you.”
“Excellent work, kid.” He turned to the rest of the team as I hurried from the room. My palms were sweating, and my makeup was melting down my face.
“You did great!” Hennie squealed and hugged me.
“One hurdle over.” I couldn’t deny feeling relieved on a level I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before, but it didn’t last. The next hurdle of the day was fast approaching.
“Time to see what kind of shape Martin’s in before his surgery.” Hennie’s joyful expression faded. “You ready to go?” she asked.
“Yeah, lemme just grab my bag.” I hurried to my office and grabbed my purse and phone.
We didn’t talk much on the way to the hospital. Neither of us was very excited about this next part.
I was a bit lost in contemplation, replaying the presentation over and over until I was sure it had gone as well as everyone else had claimed it had. Self-doubt wasn’t normally an issue for me when it came to something like product marketing—that was almost second nature—but this had been a test.
I saw it the moment I succeeded in Mr. La Croix’s eyes.
And the second he’d given me that look, that one that solved a thousand problems and eased most of my heartaches, I knew at least one major thing was off my plate.
Hennie had been right; he was watching me. He was setting me up to take over.
My money troubles were one sum
mer away from being over, and now that I’d nailed that, maybe I could talk to him about working the year and then finishing school. It suddenly didn’t seem so disappointing to be doing things out of order.
Maybe it was Martin’s cancer.
Maybe it was stooping so low as the Test Dummy.
Maybe it was feeling torn about a person I didn’t want to like.
Maybe it was having nearly been raped.
Whatever it was, perspective had hit this week, like a train.
Martin was next, and after his procedure was finished, I would have to start making some major decisions about the Test Dummy and where I saw it going.
“So, Martin wasn’t sure what was happening today. He said it was going to be a minor surgery, but he didn’t know anything else.” Hennie’s worried tone picked at my worried bones as we hurried into the hospital.
“The doctor said he was going in to explore, and if the lump was really small, he’d remove it. We’ll find out when we get there, I guess.” I tried not to be a negative Nancy as we climbed the stairs to the floor my grandma and my dad and Martin were on. We found them talking to someone who appeared to be a doctor.
“Hey!” I waved and smiled.
Martin gave Hennie the look, the one that suggested she was the only person he was waiting for.
Grandma smiled, Dad waved but continued listening to the doctor, and Martin ignored my existence. All he saw was Hennie—the girl I’d personally delivered to him. I nearly rolled my eyes.
As the doctor left, Grandma got up from her chair and hugged me. “How was the presentation?”
“Oh, fine.”
“Better than fine. She nailed it!” Hennie beamed with pride.
“How’s it going here?” I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Fine. Mom texted, all upset; she couldn’t leave work on time to be here. There was a massive accident, and the ER got hit with injured people. So of course she’s freaking out. Prepare for those phone calls until she can get here.” Martin shrugged. “And I go into the prep area in, like, five minutes. They’ll do a bunch of things to inspect me and make me feel like an alien—blah, blah, blah—and then they slice me open and haul that dirty little bastard out.”
“Well, that’s not exactly what the doctor said.” Grandma furrowed her brow. “But close.” She smiled at me. “That was nice of Mr. La Croix to let you girls leave early.”
“Well.” I glanced at Hennie, wrinkling my nose. We hadn’t told him what we were doing, just that we needed the time off. “He’s flexible.”
“Very.” Hennie nodded.
I hadn’t wanted anyone at work to know Martin was having surgery. Mr. La Croix would have taken my project away, thinking I was already stressed enough, and given it to someone else. And I couldn’t afford that. I had told Marcia, but had asked her not to tell her dad. I was almost shocked that she’d kept that promise.
“Mr. Winters?” a lady called from down the hall.
Dad turned. “Yes?”
“We’re ready to take you to the presurgery room.” She smiled.
“Wrong Mr. Winters.” Martin laughed and hugged us all. “I’ll be right back.” He winked, giving Hennie the longest hug.
We all looked the same, worried faces with fake smiles.
“He’ll be fine. At least he won’t be able to talk when this is over. That’ll be a nice change,” I joked, fighting the worry I was feeling.
He laughed, and that was how he started the journey to his surgery, laughing.
I loved my brother so much.
Chapter Thirty-Two
SPERMIDINE IS NOT A THING
Lacey
Pacing the hospital was hard; waiting was misery.
I was sure I wore the floor out, the same way Grandma’s hands wore out the hem of her shirt. She rolled it and folded it and stretched it. Hennie and Dad took turns getting coffees for everyone and asking if we wanted refills. Hennie had taken the latest shift, fetching another round for everyone. I wasn’t sure I could handle another coffee.
It had been hours since Martin went in at one. It was now five. I’d assumed he would be in recovery by now, considering he was told the procedure could take anywhere from two to three hours.
But we’d heard nothing.
“Hey!”
I turned to see Monty, Marcia, and Jordan walking down the hall.
“Hey.” I didn’t know what to say or think about them being here.
“How is he?” Marcia hugged me and took a seat beside Grandma, taking her hands in hers and holding them tightly. Grandma didn’t even fight her on it.
“We’re waiting for news.” I hugged Monty, who went and sat by Marcia.
“Hope this is okay,” Jordan muttered, offering me a soft kiss on my cheek. I leaned into it, taking a deep breath of him. Our conversation last night had me reeling still, but the presentation and Martin needed to be bigger in my mind.
“It’s okay,” I whispered back.
“How was the presentation?” he asked as he pulled back.
“Good,” I offered, a bit distracted by everything else in this moment.
“What was your angle?”
“Anti-aging at first.” I almost beamed. “Turns out cricket protein is loaded with spermidine, which has major youth-boosting properties.”
“If spermidine was all you needed, I feel like most of the guys around the world would have been happy to—”
“No!” Marcia cut Monty off before he got to the punch line of his joke. “What is wrong with you?”
“Right.” He blushed as he and Jordan snickered. “A lot apparently.”
“Anyway. Spermidine is a real thing.” I scolded them with my stare. “I decided to go for resources. The world is short on them. Global warming and pollution and the food crisis are the main concerns these days. And crickets, oddly enough, are the answer to that. Sustainable. Low cost and use of resources to grow. Incredibly healthy. Our generation, myself included, is actually concerned about saving the planet, so I felt this was the real selling point. I think if we want to be able to get some young celebrity endorsement, we need that person to represent something they care about,” I said, finishing my summary. “Sorry, my passion shines through once I find my angle.”
“Well done.” Jordan grinned. “I never doubted you.”
“It sounds like you blew them away, even with all that partying you’ve been doing.” Grandma gave me a cheeky grin.
“It’s the start of summer, Grandma. Everyone parties at the start and the end,” I said in my defense as I took a seat and Jordan sat next to me.
“Is he out yet?” Mom came bursting into the hallway, still in scrubs and looking like she might have run the entire way even though she had been calling every fifteen minutes for three hours.
Grandma and I stood and hugged her. She was trembling when she hugged Dad.
“He’s still in. But I’m sure we’ll have word any minute,” Grandma reassured her. “Come get off your feet.”
We all shuffled in our seats so Mom and Dad and Grandma could sit together. Mom glanced at me sitting next to Jordan and raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Mom, this is Jordan. He’s Monty’s best friend.” I realized I hadn’t introduced him to anyone. I didn’t honestly know how to explain his being here.
“Hello, Mrs. Winters.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you. Where’s Hennie?” Mom asked, brushing him off.
My stomach dropped when I realized Hennie could come back any second and she and Jordan would be in the same room. Even without her heavy makeup and clever disguise, he would no doubt realize who she was.
“She went to get coffees.” I sent her a quick text. Don’t come here, Jordan just showed up!
I’m in the elevator. Can you get rid of him?
I winced at her response. Yup.
“She all right?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, she’s on her way back now. I just realized I haven’t eaten all day. Do you guys want food?”
“No, you sit. You worked almost double-shift hours on your feet. Hennie will be back any second. She’s the only one Martin wants to see, let’s be honest. I’ll go grab snacks.” I glanced at Jordan. “You wanna help?”
“Love to.” He jumped up. I pulled him to the opposite side of the hall, away from the elevators.
“Stairs?” he groaned as we entered the door to the staircase.
“I like the stairs,” I lied and I sent another text as we made our way down. You’re in the clear.
“I hate the stairs.” He grabbed my hand, stepping down in front of me and cutting me off so I couldn’t move. I stood on the last step, not even close to as tall as he was. “But I like you, Lacey. A lot.” He brushed my hair from my face, smoothing it at the sides. “And not just because you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world.”
“Stop saying that.” I gulped as his hands crept down my shoulders and arms and encircled me, hugging me to him. I leaned in, letting the scent of his neck and chest drown me in that intoxicating mixture he always smelled of.
He didn’t kiss me. He hugged, like he needed it, or maybe he thought I did. I didn’t know I needed it until I closed my eyes and relaxed.
We took several breaths here, holding each other in comfort. I didn’t say anything, just let him hold me. And when he pulled back, I kissed him on the cheek, lingering and pressing my face against the warmth of his. “Thanks for coming.”
“I told you I’d be there if you needed me.” He pushed back into me, like he was savoring the embrace.
I pulled back and stared into Jordan’s eyes, like this was the moment, we were going to kiss, but my phone rang.
I lifted it, saw Marcia’s number, and answered right away. “Hello?”
“Come back! He’s awake. He’s fine. He was in recovery this whole time, they just didn’t come and tell us. Assholes!”
“Oh my God. Coming.” I no longer cared that Jordan might meet Hennie or that he would put two and two together. “My brother’s out. He’s out!” I shrieked, and spun, then ran up the stairs and burst through the door. We ran to the hall where only Monty stood.
