by Tara Brown
“Just tell me if it’s true?” She sounded lost.
“Let me explain.”
“No, just answer. Is it true?”
“Yeah.” My voice broke.
“Did you spy on us to come up with ideas for my dad? My dad’s lapdog, betraying your own friends to make a buck.” She started to cry but stopped, like she was refusing the tears.
“Marcia—”
“Leave me alone. I thought we were best friends. But you and Hennie are apparently closer than you let on, huh?” She spun on her heel, leaving me there.
“No.” I crumpled on the inside, but my survival instincts kicked in, and I chased her. I grabbed her arm, spinning her, and dragged her back toward the bathroom. “You need to listen to me!”
“Are you insane?” She fought, but I won. She scowled. “Let me go!”
“No!” I hauled her into the bathroom and stood in the way of the exit, staring her in the eyes. “Yes, I’m the Test Dummy. It’s why I never tested Monty, because I knew he wouldn’t ever cheat on you. He adores you. I tested for two of our friends, Kami and Jo, and no one else. I knew their boyfriends cheated. And Jo’s was easy. I came upon Theo making out with a girl, and I emailed the video I took.”
“I don’t care!” she screamed.
“You do! You care, and that’s why you’re so pissed at me. Kami was a different story. I went to the club with you, that night.”
“I know.”
“And he drugged me.”
“Thanks. I’m all kinds of caught up.”
“No, you aren’t. When he drugged me, I didn’t know what to do. I was crashing fast. So I apparently stumbled into Jordan, and he took care of me.”
“And then you fucked him and ghosted him like the horrible person you are.”
“First of all, I didn’t fuck him that night. Second of all, I had to ghost him. I tested him for Amy; he had technically been my first subject. So, when things started becoming a little more serious between us, I couldn’t bring myself to keep living the lie. I was planning to tell him everything after the gala, but I guess now I won’t have to.” My voice broke, and tears burst from me.
“You lied to me! You and my dad.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Your dad wasn’t involved. This wasn’t his company. He’s telling people it was in order to protect me.”
“From what?”
“Miguel’s parents.” I slumped.
She didn’t have a comeback for that.
“I was terrified of them, and of this exact scenario, but I couldn’t let the video burn the way they wanted. I knew Kami was crushed, and I was scared. So I went to your dad out of desperation, and he protected me. He bought the Test Dummy and said it was his idea. He leaked the video because Miguel deserves to get caught for this. The guy raped girls and made movies like a sick, twisted creep.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was ashamed.” I started to lose it. “When my parents said they couldn’t afford school and were working nonstop to pay for Martin’s care, I didn’t know what else to do. I needed extra money. And I didn’t want to ask for it.” I spat my words at her as tears blinded me. “I can’t be that poor girl from Brooklyn who needs a handout when things get tough. I just wanted to get tougher, to not have to have someone else do my dirty work. Through eight years of friendship, I’ve never asked for a dime from you or your family. I work three jobs some summers just to keep up with you guys. And this summer I was stuck.” I shuddered from the heaving sobs ripping from me. “I love you, Marcia. You’re my best friend in the whole world, and the fact that you think I used or betrayed you kills me.” I blinked and turned away, hurrying into a crowd of girls coming into the bathroom. “Now, I have to find Jordan. Because he probably thinks something terrible right now.”
“Wait!” she called after me, but I slipped to the side of the room and slid along the decorations, hiding from everyone.
I didn’t want to go back out the front entrance, not looking like this. And I didn’t know where the back entrance was. I needed a quiet place to text Jordan and beg him to meet me.
So I headed for the roof.
There was a bar there.
A place to sit and get a drink alone, toasting to my amazing successes and begging a guy to meet me so I could explain all the horrible things I’d done.
When I got there, it was empty. Everyone was at the gala.
I sat at the bar, sighing.
“What can I get you?” a lady asked.
“Two gin and tonics, extra lime wedges, please,” Marcia said from behind me. She sat next to me. “I hate—”
“Please don’t.” I didn’t want to hear any more. I hadn’t even seen Jordan yet, and I was already at my breaking point.
“Myself. I hate myself. I’m not as smart as you or as pretty or funny. And Dad loves you more.”
“Stop!” I snapped, turning to face her.
“No!” she shouted back. “It’s true. He loves you more. And I think I finally get it.” She blinked a tear. “It’s not because you’re better. It’s because you need it more. Everyone loves me. Everyone welcomes me with open arms. The world loves Marcia La Croix, and if they don’t, they pretend to. Being me is easy. As much as I like to complain, I see it.” Her tone softened. “But they see you as my sidekick. My friend Lacey. No one realizes that it’s the other way around.” She sniffled.
“I love you, Marcia.” I broke again.
“Let me finish. I don’t think I ever thought about the fact that when you go home to your house, your parents are working nonstop. They’re busy as hell. If your grandma hadn’t moved in, you and Martin would be virtually on your own. But then you came to my house, and my dad saw your potential because he saw himself in you. And so he loves you a little more, adding more sunshine and water to you so you’ll grow and be strong on your own. Like him.” She sobbed her last sentence, leaning against me.
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know if what she said was true, at least not all of it.
“No, I’m sorry. I betrayed you just now. I never asked why you would do what you did or gave you a chance to explain.”
“I’m so sorry I never told you. I wanted to, but I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want them to think I was using my connections to get ahead. I know I’m sort of an outsider when it comes to money and power.”
“You’re not an outsider. You’re my sister.” She leaned in and hugged me hard. “And I should have listened to you about Monty. He hates me now.”
“Why?” I almost laughed at how fast she turned it around to herself, but that was okay. I liked taking the focus away from myself.
“He knows I wanted to test him.”
“He doesn’t hate you, he couldn’t. He loves you. He’s just hurt.” I leaned into her too. “We all are. I fucked up so bad.”
“Yeah. You shoulda told me what you were doing. I coulda helped you.” She sniffled and squeezed me tighter.
“I know. I almost died doing it alone.” And it was the truth. The one thing I’d learned the most from this was that I needed to stop trying to solve things on my own. I wasn’t very good at it; in fact I was terrible. “I got beat up.”
“Oh my God.” She covered her eyes. “We can’t even have this conversation right now. We have to go back in.” After a minute, as our drinks arrived, she said, “The gala starts in ten minutes. What do you have in your bag?” She knew I always had enough to do plastic surgery in there.
“A lot.” I nodded, still sniffling. “Do you forgive me?”
“Yeah.” She kissed my head. “I was so pissed you asked Hennie to be part of this operation and not me.”
“I asked her because Jordan wouldn’t know her. I swear, I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“You owe me big-time for this. I want all the rain checks. Spa time, and only the treatments I want. When we’re in France”—she sneered the word—“we’re only eating at the places I like. And you have to
give me makeovers for all my favorite looks. I want the Sailor Moon.”
“Fine.” I laughed and snuggled into her. Her forgiveness meant everything to me. I knew Jordan would never understand, but as long as Marcia did, I didn’t care. I would try not to at least. I still owed him that explanation, though. I needed to find him.
“There you are!” Monty came rushing up, recoiling in horror when he saw our faces. “They’re going to start. Your dad’s looking for you.” He was cold and distant, and he didn’t make eye contact with me. “You look like shit.”
I was no longer his fav.
I wasn’t even his friend. I could see it.
“Monty.” Marcia got up, giving him a terrifying smeared-makeup and puffy-faced smile. “I’m an idiot. A huge one. I’m so sorry.”
“I know. You’re both idiots. And assholes. And liars.” He folded his arms. “And I don’t want to talk about it right now. At all. So get refreshed, and get downstairs. This is a charity. Not the Marcia and Lacey shit show.” He turned on his heel and left us there.
“Savage,” I whispered.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry.”
“Me either. Let me fix your face.” I grabbed my bag. “We can’t go back down there looking like this.”
She hugged me once more, and I inhaled her. Grateful she forgave me. Or at least was pretending to until she really could.
I doubted the same could ever be said for Jordan.
Chapter Forty-One
STEPH’S PSYCHIC LINE
Jordan
“And of course, we want to thank our host for the evening, Marcia La Croix.” The lady from the hospital clapped her hands as Marcia made her way up onto the stage.
“I hate to say it; she’s a pain in the ass and a complete head case, but this is the best gala I’ve been to in ages,” Monty whispered, leaning in. “The food is amazing. The drink menu is unique. Service staff are on. And the decorations are perfect. She knocked it out of the park,” he muttered, sounding bitter about it all. “And the worst part is she knows it. Told her dad she found her niche.”
“You love her, we both know it.” I sighed, hating this night more than any night I’d lived through. In the history of nights. Worst night ever.
Lacey was sitting up with her family, looking like shit if I was being honest. Marcia wasn’t doing much better. They both had clearly been crying, but they also appeared to be friends still. I couldn’t imagine how Lacey talked her way out of this.
She wasn’t talking her way out of it with me.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. Or that I was still here.
That was Monty and Stephen’s fault, talking me out of leaving. Saying that if I let this one girl ruin me, I might not ever recover. I’d end up like Grandpa Jack. Never committing to one person. Never falling in love. Never learning to compromise.
And like the angel and devil on each shoulder, they spoke, Monty certain there had to be a reason, and Stephen certain she was Satan set on ruining me.
Either way, I stayed, and now I was staring at her.
The way I always stared at her.
My guts burning.
My heart aching.
My soul empty.
My hands balled.
It was going to be a long night.
I sipped the scotch Stephen had brought to the table and tried not to look in my mom’s direction. She would know something was off. She was Hawkeye lately and sober as a judge. She’d been cleansing for three days before this event to get into a gown she hadn’t worn in years.
“Thank you, everyone.” Marcia smiled into the mic. “I want to start by thanking you all for coming. We’re so grateful to have such a supportive community. And I know all these donations will help a lot of young people recovering from cancer. Or just coping.” She shone up there, the kind of person people wanted to see on a stage. “Sometimes coping is all you get. We’re fortunate that our family’s story has a happy ending.” Her eyes lowered to where Lacey was sitting. “Martin has always been the little brother I never had. And when we found out he was sick, we knew something needed to be done to help. Seeing all these faces in the room, I can certainly say that your support has already gone a long way to help Martin and countless other kids in his shoes.” Her eyes glistened as she smiled down on Martin. She grinned and whispered at him, “I hate you.”
He said something that made her and the people near them laugh.
“I will hand you over to the mistress of ceremonies again while the servers ply you with liquor and sweets. I always find Daddy’s wallet is a lot more accessible after a few drinks and dessert.”
The crowd laughed, and she offered a slight bow as she left the stage. Servers entered the room by the dozens, each carrying trays filled with drinks or pushing carts of desserts, making everyone laugh a little more. The room erupted with talking again as people returned to socializing.
“And she didn’t even suck at that.” Monty was struggling with being upset.
“Why don’t you go and let her grovel? Get it over with. Sit back at your table.”
“No.” He turned to me. “I’m not leaving you.”
“We can do bros before hos another night. Go and see her.”
“You sure?” He didn’t sound convinced.
The music started to play again as the silent auction started back up and people left their tables to bid and chat.
“Yeah, go and bid at that table right there.” Stephen pointed. “She’ll see you and come up and lean in, then grab your hand and lead you off to that corner.”
“That’s super specific.” Monty scowled.
“That’s because he’s done it before,” Cynthia remarked, making us all laugh.
“True story.” Stephen nodded. “If she doesn’t come groveling, there’s a chance she’s going to twist this into your fault.” He beamed at Cynthia. “My advice is to allow that and fall on your sword like a man. There’s makeup sex and it’s worth it.”
Cynthia rolled her eyes at that.
Monty finished his drink and got up. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need luck, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I scoffed.
“That means nothing.” Stephen laughed. “He needs good luck to not get blamed. Good luck, man.” He lifted his drink.
“I don’t get women,” I muttered.
“And you won’t ever if you keep paying them to date you.” Stephen winked at me.
“Fuck you.” I got up and decided to go circulate and bid. The sooner I did that, the sooner I could go without looking like Lacey chased me off. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.
I was writing a bid up for a week in Aspen when I caught sight of my brother being psychic.
Marcia got up and sauntered over sheepishly to Monty. She spoke delicately to him, then took his hand in hers and led him away, going to the exact fucking corner Stephen had predicted.
I turned to see Stephen lift his drink in the air.
“Jesus.” He was impressive, I had to give him that.
“Just let me past!” a voice I knew shouted from the bathroom hallway. My mind begged me not the follow. My heart ached just hearing her speak. But my inner gentleman couldn’t let up.
I carried the pen and the bid book for the Aspen trip down the hall.
“Fuck you, bitch. You ruined my boy,” a guy shouted. “You and your little Test Dummy game. Everyone knows it was you who took that video.”
“Leave me alone. I didn’t ruin him; he’s a pig, and the fact that you’d dare defend someone like him doesn’t surprise me at all.” Lacey stood up for herself, sounding harsh. “He’s a rapist.”
“And you’re a whore.”
“Fuck you.”
“Thanks, but I’ve done my time.”
I pushed through a small crowd to find her and France, the ex, shouting at each other.
“I know what a little cock tease you can be. But it’s all about head games with you. Which is why I found m
y fun elsewhere. Innocent virgin one minute and a complete freak in the sheets—” I didn’t hear the rest. I got lost in the pounding in my ears of blood and rage. I dove forward.
“Jordan!” She shouted my name at the same time that I felt my knuckles hurt and saw this dude’s face spouting blood. He hit me in the ribs, but I took the shot and punched him in the face again.
“Stephen!” she screamed somewhere in the distance.
Someone grabbed me from behind and pulled France from my arms.
It all moved in slow motion.
People shouted, I was dragged to the bathroom, and the door was slammed.
Stephen paced and shook his head as Monty came rushing in.
“What are you doing?” Stephen scolded me. “This is your second fight in, like, two weeks. And you almost hit Dad. Are you on drugs?”
“He—” I didn’t have an excuse. I pointed and then lost the fight in me. I was shaking with rage and ready to kill him still, but I’d lost my reason. He’d called her names she might have deserved. He’d ridiculed her in ways she might have earned. I didn’t know what she’d done to him, just me. And I was dying from it.
My knuckles bleeding again for her sake and my broken heart were proof.
The door opened, and her small face popped in, her eyes meeting mine.
I closed my eyes, certain I was dreaming.
“You can’t come in here,” Stephen shouted. “You’ve caused enough shit. Just go away. No one wants you around.”
“Hey!” Monty shouted, and when I opened my eyes, she was there in front of me with an agonizing stare, and we were alone. Monty had likely dragged Stephen out by his ears.
“I’m sorry,” Lacey said softly.
“For which part?” I laughed and spun around, turning the tap on to rinse my hands. “Making me crazy or humiliating me or—”
“For sending that email to Amy. I should have turned her down when I knew I liked you. And I should have told you what I was doing.” Her eyes lowered. “I broke your relationship up, even if it was fake, on purpose. But more than that, I broke your trust.”
“What?” That came out of nowhere. I shook my head a little, trying to see if my ears were broken from too many hits, though I didn’t think France had knocked me that hard.
