He sighs, already hating the words about to come out of his mouth.
“Maybe it’s time that two kids from the old neighborhood finally got together.”
35
Tori
“I’m really not in the mood, Annabelle.”
“But you have to come. Drinks with the group just won’t be the same without you!”
“Oh, please. If you and Jaxson are in one of your lovey-dovey moods, you’ll barely notice we’re there. I’m sure you can manage one night without me.”
Going to the bar tonight for drinks sounds like the worst possible thing. I’d rather do literally anything else. And I’m including a gyno exam with Edward Scissorhands in that category.
“But I haven’t seen you in literally forever. I swear you’re hiding from me.”
I’m glad she can’t see my reaction, because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I haven’t left my apartment except to go to work. Luckily, Annabelle has been so busy at the gallery, she hasn’t swung by for an afternoon coffee. And I know I’ve been a shitty friend, but before the breakup, I didn’t want to see her for fear I’d slip and spill every detail about my hot and heavy times with Kalum.
Now I don’t want to see her for fear of breaking down.
I’m not ready. I know we hadn’t even really gotten going as a couple, but seeing him tonight would be a punch to the gut. Can I act like I used to? Can I go back to giving him shit about being in a pissy mood? Can I play our stupid bar games without asking, “Never have I ever had an orgasm on top of a Camaro?”
I don’t think I can. So I’m going to stay away.
“But Scarlett got a sitter. How can you waste a Scarlett sitter night?”
Annabelle is all but whining now, and I hate that she played the Scarlett card. I know my sister hates getting a sitter—feeling guilty for leaving Grant at home while she goes out. But I remind her all the time that she’s young, and just because she’s a mom, it doesn’t mean she should put her life on hold.
But isn’t that what I’m doing? Even if it’s only for a few days, I’m putting my life on hold because Kalum fucked me up in more ways than I thought imaginable.
I hate it when my advice comes back to bite me in the ass.
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll go. But I’m not looking cute. I’m not staying long. And you can’t make me have fun.”
“Whoop!” I don’t know what sound Annabelle made at my concession, but that’s what it sounded like. “And you can wear whatever you want, but I don’t know why you think you’re not going to have fun. You’re beginning to sound like Kalum.”
Oh, Annabelle, if you only knew . . .
One hour and three outfits later, I walk into the bar doing my best to hold my head high. I know I told Annabelle I wasn’t looking cute, but who the hell am I kidding? This is the first time I’m seeing Kalum since the breakup. I’m going to look fucking fantastic, but without it looking like I tried.
I can’t give him that satisfaction, now can I?
I hate that I’m disappointed he isn’t there when I walk in. Jaxson, Annabelle, Scarlett, and Maverick are all in our normal section, but there’s no sign of Kalum.
Maybe he didn’t want to face the awkward either?
“She made it!” Annabelle squeals as she jumps off her barstool to give me a hug, which I return in full force. I might not have wanted to come here tonight, but I’ve missed my best friend something fierce.
“I told you I’d come, didn’t I? Did you think I was about to stand you up?”
“You did, but I didn’t know if you would. I haven’t seen you in forever, and if I didn’t already know that you tell me everything, I’d swear you were keeping something from me.”
I’m saved by the waitress, who picked the perfect time to come over and take my drink order. Which is vodka. A lot of it.
As I finish placing my order, I feel eyes on me. I look to the left and realize it’s Maverick, looking at me like my dog died.
Wait. Does he know?
No, Kalum wouldn’t have told him. He was insistent on keeping this a secret from him—it’s why we spent all our nights at my place. But the look he’s giving me right now screams that he does.
Why would Kalum tell him? This makes absolutely no sense. We are over now. What would be the point of telling his brother? “Oh hey, by the way, I’ve been fucking Tori for the past few months but we were keeping it a secret. But then we caught feelings, and I broke it off because I’m a chickenshit.”
“. . . want to go with me, Tori?”
I snap out of my own thoughts, realizing that Annabelle has likely been talking to me since I sat down, and I’ve been dutifully ignoring her. I’m a shitty friend.
“Sure. Sounds like fun.”
“Really? Going to the grand opening of Maverick and Kalum’s new garage sounds fun? I mean, no offense, Mav, but I’m only going because you told me there’d be free food.”
Oh fuck. Is that what I just agreed to?
“Um yeah. Sure. I mean, anything can be fun if you make it out to be. And free food. Yay!”
My sarcasm is fooling no one, but they don’t press me on it. Thank God.
The table falls into conversations about the new garage and Annabelle’s painting that just sold, then Scarlett vents for a few minutes about her second job.
But it all fades around me as my eyes become glued to the door of the bar. I can’t look away. And it’s playing out in front of me in slow motion.
Kalum. Walking in without a care in the world.
With his arm around another woman.
36
Kalum
If a look could kill someone, I’d be dead on this floor and every witness here would know that Tori Brennan was the murderer.
I got here late on purpose, needing to make sure Tori was here when I walked in with my arm around Amanda.
But I didn’t count on her chair being a straight shot to the door, allowing me to watch every emotion passing over her face as soon as we walked in.
I mean, I knew the whole point of pretending to be with Amanda was to make sure Tori knew I was serious about the breakup, and hopefully drive her far away from me. Because with the plan we have in the works to take down the The Kings, I can’t have Tori anywhere near me.
But seeing the look on her face right now is making me regret every decision I’ve made in the last few months.
Amanda gives my hand a squeeze as she leans in to whisper, “I know this sucks. But you know this is what we need to do. If you need me to cut in at any time, give my leg a squeeze.”
I nod and place a kiss on her cheek, not to make Tori jealous, but because I don’t know if I could have done this with anyone else.
As I walk to the table and see Tori’s reaction, I know that this plan is already working out better than I could have hoped for.
She looks like she wants to kill me. Then Amanda. Then me again.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Amanda O’Donald? What are you doing here?” Jaxson leaps out of his seat. “Wait, are you here with this asshole?”
Jaxson looks very confused. Annabelle and Scarlett have no idea what to think. Maverick is putting on his best pretend-shocked face.
Tori is trying to shoot daggers at me with her eyes.
Amanda chuckles and tucks herself into my side, perfectly playing the part of the shy girlfriend. “I am. After all these years, he’s broken me down.”
She lets the words hang there, knowing that I need to drive the point home to make all this seem that much more believable. I find an extra barstool for her, needing a few more minutes to gather my courage.
“Wait, I’m confused,” Jaxson says as we situate ourselves around the table. Though it didn’t happen on purpose, I’m sitting directly across from Tori, which is great for the plan, but horrible for my conscience. “Are you two seeing each other? I didn’t even think you two kept in touch?”
I’m so sorry, Tori. I hope one day you will forgive me for this.
&
nbsp; “We’ve been seeing each other for the past few months,” I say, keeping it as vague, yet as specific, as possible.
“The past few months! Holy shit, Kal! I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!” Jaxson says, clearly buying into everything we’re throwing him.
“We didn’t want to tell anyone because we wanted to see where it was going to go first,” I say. “But over the last week or so, we decided that we’re in this for the long haul, so it’s probably time to let the cat out of the bag.”
I think I hear Scarlett and Annabelle squeal and start asking Amanda 80,000 questions. And by the look of it, she’s charming her way right into my friend group. Maverick slightly nods his head, giving me approval for what I just threw down. Jaxson is still shocked.
And then there’s Tori, who is looking everywhere except at us. Every once in a while, she catches the conversation between the girls and gives a nice healthy eye roll. I know she’s trying to fend off her emotions. And for about the hundredth time this week, I feel like the absolute scum of the earth for being the reason behind Tori’s sadness.
“So how did you two reconnect? Kalum doesn’t tell us anything, so we had no clue he was even sneaking around with anyone!” Annabelle says. At least I know Tori and I were doing one hell of a job keeping our secret.
But I can’t answer this question, because it’s too close to reality, or at least, what my reality was. So I give Amanda’s leg a squeeze, needing her to take the lead on this one.
“It was almost like fate,” she says, turning to me and giving me a look that screams new love and a second chance. Damn, she’s a good actress. “Someone hit my car a few months back, and the shop I originally took it to was going to charge me an arm and a leg. And then my mom reminded me that my old friends Kalum and Maverick had a garage and maybe I should take my car to them. So I did. He asked me out that night to catch up, and one thing led to another.”
“So you two knew each other from before?” Scarlett asks, hands under her chin, soaking up every word like she’s listening to a fairy tale, which I realize has to kill Tori more than anything I’ve said.
“Yup,” Amanda says. “We grew up together. This guy was actually my first kiss. And a first few other things that I’d rather not talk about right now.”
“Well, isn’t that just fucking adorable,” Tori mumbles a little too loudly from across the table.
“Tori!” Scarlett smacks her sister on the shoulder. “It is adorable. I don’t think there’s anything better than a second chance at love. Don’t hate.”
“You would think that, Miss I-Swear-My-Baby-Daddy-Is-Coming-Back,” Tori spits out, and fuck, I wanted to get under her skin, but I didn’t think it would have this effect. She never speaks to Scarlett this way. And it’s my fault.
“Hey! That’s uncalled for!” Annabelle pipes in, trying her best to sound commanding. “Tori, what’s gotten into you?”
“Them! This! You! When did this night become a fucking couples’ lovefest? Maybe some of us don’t want to sit here all night and watch people make out or give each other looks like they want to fuck each other on the table in front of everyone, or talk about first kisses and finding fucking love.”
“Don’t be jealous, Tori,” Annabelle says. “You could have been seeing Ben, but no, something was apparently wrong with him, too. Just like every other guy you date. What? Was his 9-to-5 job just too much for you to handle? Was he too much of a gentleman for you?”
“Oh, so it’s my fault that things didn’t work out with Ben? Couldn’t be his, could it? Of course I’m the fuck-up.”
“Facts are facts,” Scarlett says.
“And the facts are that your sperm donor is a piece of shit and I don’t know why you keep spreading your legs for him, but you do. Surprised you aren’t knocked up again.”
Fuck. This has officially hit the fan.
“You. Out of here. Let’s go.” I stand and nearly have to pick up Tori and carry her out of the bar kicking and screaming while Scarlett tries to fight her tears as Annabelle consoles her.
I know this is probably the worst idea ever. She’s pissed as hell at me. But she needs to direct this anger at me, not her sister.
I set her down in an alley behind the bar, caging her in so she can’t get away.
“What the fuck was that?” I scream, because I’m pissed as hell at a lot of things, including this infuriating woman.
“What the fuck was that? What the fuck was you coming in here with . . . her? Rubbing it in my face that you were getting some while we were together? Showing me who beat me out for the title of girlfriend? Thanks, Kalum. Really needed that one. I’m glad you did, though, because at least I got to meet her. It was nice to put a face with the name of the woman who informed me we were breaking up. She seems fucking lovely.”
“I get that you’re mad at me. And that’s fine. I deserve it. But you need to apologize to your sister and Annabelle. You want to lay into me? Fine. Here I am. But Scarlett and Annabelle didn’t deserve that.”
“I’m glad you care so much about them but don’t give two shits about my feelings. I knew you were an asshole, Kalum, but I didn’t think you were vindictive.”
“I figured I’d rip off the Band-Aid. No sense in hiding anymore.”
I feel the slap before I can react, and honestly, I’m kind of glad she did that.
When I look at her after the sting goes away, her anger is gone. Her eyes are still filled with fire. Her cheeks are red and her breathing is heavy. But instead of the string of anger I expect her to unleash on me, she just slumps against the wall as the tears come pouring out of her.
Defeat.
This, right here, in an alley behind our favorite bar, where this woman began working her way into my heart and soul, is where I realize that I have broken her.
And that breaks me more than I ever thought I could be.
“Go back inside, Kalum. I’ll call for a ride.”
I sigh and crouch down so we are eye level, even though she won’t look at me.
“I’m so sorry this didn’t work out, Tori. Please know that.”
She looks up at me, tears welling in her eyes.
“I know. Go. And I meant what I said, Kalum.”
“What’s that?”
“She really does seem lovely.”
37
Tori
I’ve fucked up a lot in my life. My “speak first, think later” approach to life has gotten me in trouble more times than I care to admit, but it has never been anything I couldn’t bounce back from.
But this? What I said tonight to my sister and Annabelle? Well, I won’t blame them if they never forgive me.
Because I sure as shit won’t be forgiving myself anytime soon.
I am a horrible person.
Seeing Kalum walk into the bar with . . . her . . . threw me for a loop I wasn’t expecting. Somehow in the back of my mind, I had convinced myself she wasn’t real. That no way could he be seeing someone else when he spent nearly every night with me.
I honestly thought he was falling in love with me. Just like I was falling in love with him.
And then, even when I saw her, I couldn’t believe he’d take it so far as to bring in some woman who pretended to be this “Amanda.” Because in my mind, she still wasn’t real.
Then Jaxson and Maverick knew her.
Then I learned they’d grown up together and shared a history I could never compete with.
Then I saw the way she looked at him.
I wish I would’ve kept my mouth shut. I should have just sucked it up and made a graceful exit. I doubt anyone would have realized I’d left. But no, my big fat fucking mouth had to say something that led to the second Civil War.
I don’t know how long I stayed in that alley behind the bar, but I couldn’t go back in. How do you face your friends and family after saying God-awful things that you regret as soon as they leave your mouth?
So I started walking with no destination in mind. I know it’s not
safe, and that Kalum would probably have a freaking fit if he knew I was walking alone at night. But he’s lost his right to care. Hell, I don’t even know if I care myself right now.
My feet are starting to hurt, and I realize I have no idea where I am when I feel a buzz coming from my pocket. I really don’t want to see who it is. Perhaps Annabelle or Scarlett making sure I’m okay, while still letting me know that I’m a horrible person? Maybe it’s Kalum? No. Tonight proved that he and I are done for good.
Curiosity gets the best of me, and I stop to pull my phone out of my pocket to find a name that I’m learning is slowly becoming my savior.
Ben: How you doing?
It’s like this man has planted a bug on me to know exactly when I need his shoulder.
Me: Been better. Met Amanda tonight. She’s pretty and nice. I hate her.
Ben: Do you need to talk? Get coffee? Get drunk? Need rebound sex? ;)
God, I wish I’d fallen in love with this man instead. I’d likely be so much happier with my life right now.
Me: I’m never having sex again. But I could use coffee. With Baileys. So I choose options A and B.
Ben: Meet at your apartment?
Me: No. I just . . . it’s too hard. Too much still. Can I come to your place?
Ben: I’ll send you the address. I’ll put on the coffee. You grab the Baileys.
Thirty minutes later, after one trip to the liquor store and an uncomfortable three-star Uber ride, I’m at Ben’s Cape Cod in the suburbs. I don’t know why I thought he was a city guy; this is so him. It screams wife and kids, which is exactly what he deserves. I can picture him mowing the lawn as his kids run through the sprinklers and his wife tends to their garden.
Once I get over my own shit, I’m absolutely setting this man up.
“I didn’t wait for you,” he says as he opens the door already holding a beer. “I figured that I’d probably need to catch up.”
“You would be right,” I say as I walk in, kicking off my shoes because I feel like this is one of those homes where you take off your shoes. “This is nice. You kind of threw me for a loop when you sent me the address.”
Broken: South Side Boys-Book 2 Page 14
