“Genius!” Elizabella replied.
That Sunday morning Elizabella and Minnie set off around Bilby Creek with Martin’s wheelbarrow. All the adults had left their unwanted junk on the pavement for the council workers to collect. The girls walked down Pink Boronia Street, where Miss Duck lived. She’d left several pots and pans and trays outside her place. They put them in the wheelbarrow.
At another house Elizabella picked up a stack of six buckets. “Well that’s my costume sorted!” she said putting one on her head. “And the rest could be anything! Hats, stepping stones, or back up buckets if I break my costume!”
“And look at these!” said Minnie, running a few doors down, having spotted several long planks of wood. “These could be paths to walk along, or the foundations of the campsite!”
They kept rummaging through the piles of stuff outside the houses up and down the streets of Bilby Creek. They collected a pile of chairs, some old ring binders, three large pieces of moth-eaten, heavy blue fabric that had once been curtains, an orange lamp, and a jar full of old, stiff paintbrushes.
Then they arrived at Daphne’s.
“No way!” said Elizabella. “Minnie, take a look at this.” On the front path outside Daphne’s house was a brand-new Precious Pooch Kennel, still in its packaging.
“Are you serious?” said Minnie. “This is exactly what we need for Ralph’s house!”
“It’s crazy what some people throw out. Can you give me a hand?” Elizabella asked, and the two of them heaved it onto the wheelbarrow.
They’d turned the corner and were out of sight, when an adult with blonde pigtails came out of the house. She put her hands to her mouth and exclaimed.
“Lady Flooffington’s new kennel! It’s been stolen!”
It was Daphne’s mum.
“Of all the things!” Mr Gobblefrump was pacing his office. It was Monday morning and Elizabella and Minnie were sitting in there, their heads hung low.
“I have come to expect some low acts from the two of you,” he went on, “but I did not pick you for a couple of robbers!”
Elizabella and Minnie had brought in everything they’d found, including the Precious Pooch Kennel, which had been reported missing by Daphne’s mum.
“It was a mistake!” Elizabella protested. “It was on the street during council pick-up. We thought they were getting rid of it!”
“A brand-new dog kennel, still in its packaging?” Mr Gobblefrump was incredulous. “Clearly it had just been delivered!”
“Well, we realise that now,” Minnie said.
“You are both very lucky that Daphne’s family aren’t pressing charges!”
The girls let out a sigh of relief. “I on the other hand am not so tolerant. One more trouble, I said. One more trouble from you and the play is cancelled.”
“Mr Gobblefrump, please!” Elizabella cried.
“I made a rule and I must stick to it! Now shoo!” And with that he opened the door and sent them back out into the playground.
“Attention, Year Four!” A voice boomed into the playground. “Unfortunately, Elizabella was unable to keep her promise of staying out of trouble, and therefore the end-of-year play is cancelled. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts! My decision is final!”
Elizabella was totally devastated. She had worked so hard for so long, and now it was all over. Usually when she got in trouble it was because she’d legitimately done the wrong thing. And even though she technically had done the wrong thing now, it was a total accident.
“Well I guess you get your wish, Minnie,” Elizabella said as they walked through the playground. “No fun for us.”
“And I was just coming around to having fun too,” Minnie sighed.
“Gee, thanks a lot,” said Kingston walking past them. He wasn’t alone. Everyone was disappointed and angry. That recess Elizabella and Minnie sat on the silver seats, not playing handball, barely talking to each other. Doing this play together was supposed to end Minnie’s time in Bilby Creek on a big high. Instead it was shaping up to be an all-time low.
“Hey guys,” Daphne approached them.
“Hey Daphne,” said Elizabella. “I’m extremely sorry about the kennel. We really did think it was being chucked out.”
“You know what?” Daphne said. “I may regret saying this, but I actually believe you.”
“You do?” Minnie asked.
“Yeah, you guys think you’re pretty clever, but I know you’re nitwitted enough to believe that a brand-new kennel all wrapped up in its packaging could actually be rubbish.”
“Thanks,” Elizabella said. “And I’m sorry the play has been cancelled.”
“About that,” Daphne replied. “I thought I might talk to Mr Gobblefrump, see if I can convince him to change his mind.”
“Really?” Elizabella exclaimed.
“On one condition.”
“Anything!”
“I really think my bee character should have long hair like Rapunzel and use it instead of wings to fly, don’t you?”
“Not only that,” Elizabella said, “if you get the play back on, I’ll add in a song and dance that’s just you on stage by yourself.”
“Deal!” And Daphne marched through the playground until she found Mr Gobblefrump stomping around doing very angry playground duty.
It took a little explaining, and no small amount of restating how perfectly silly Elizabella and Minnie could be, but eventually she convinced Mr Gobblefrump to put on the play using the argument that it was unfair to punish her and the other kids by taking the play away from them just because Elizabella and Minnie had committed a crime.
And so, only a few short hours after it was cancelled, thanks to Daphne it was back on. Everyone was very relieved and, true to her word, Elizabella wrote a whole new song and dance number, starring just one of the servant bees who happened to be played by Daphne.
Over the next few weeks, every lunchtime and after school on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, the play was rehearsed. And the performances got better and better. In the playground you could frequently hear people practising their lines and perfecting their parts. Or talking to trees pretending they were their scene partners. Everyone was getting so excited as the big day approached.
Sandy had done some research and discovered something called “theatre blacks”. All the actors would wear plain black clothing from home, and the rest was up to the audience’s imagination. This was a good cost-free solution, but it was a little bit boring, so he had scrounged together some face paint and scraps of material from the art room to make headpieces for everyone. Of course, Elizabella was to wear one of the buckets she’d found for her headpiece.
Elizabella and Minnie had taken every scene in the play and worked out how they could create the set using just the items they’d found in the council clean-up. Including the Precious Pooch Kennel, which Daphne’s mum had very generously said they could borrow for the play once the confusion had been explained. The five spare buckets could be arranged into a beehive for the bee scenes, and then with a few alterations and the addition of some planks of wood, they could be rearranged with the chairs to become the aeroplane which was taking Coco away.
Minnie had been hard at work figuring out all the special effects. This was the perfect role for her. She was able to liven up the beehive using the orange lamp they’d found and gold tinsel she’d borrowed from the Christmas tree Mr Biffington and Mr Crabb had set up in the school office, and she created waves crashing on the beach using the old blue curtain fabric. But she also gladly donated her volcano-making kit from the Science Spectacular Shop to make the campfire for the scene where Coco and Ralph think they see a ghost, the robotic chicken for one of their pranks, and the triple-extra-bouncy bouncy balls to simulate the hailstorm that falls from the sky when the aeroplane takes Coco away.
As the weeks passed, the play became just about the only thing anyone could talk about. Even Minnie was having so much fun, she forgot to be sad about moving to New York.
At home Elizabella barely spoke to her dad or brother. After school she would sit in her room and practise her lines. Larry would be beside her always, fascinated by her rehearsals and trying to figure out how he was going to get to see the play himself, which he had absolutely determined to do.
Eventually the day of opening night of A Tale of Two Dogs arrived. Elizabella sprang out of bed, having barely slept a wink.
When she and Huck arrived at school in the morning they went straight to the hall. Everyone was dressed in their theatre blacks ready to do the final rehearsal before the big show. Mr Gobblefrump was marching up and down giving everyone last-minute advice.
“Now Ava, remember, I want you to be the bee! Evie, don’t forget to put the spotlight on your sister when she comes on stage, that’s thrice I’ve had to remind you! And above all have fun, everyone. And ABOVE above all, it’s not too late for me to cancel the play, so I implore you, Elizabella and everyone else. Do. Not. Get. In. Trouble!” He took his place in the audience to watch the final rehearsal.
Everything went precisely to plan. All the lines were remembered, all the set and props arrived on stage on cue and the special effects went off without a hitch.
“Bravo, everybody!” Mr Gobblefrump said, breaking out into rapturous applause at the end. Now we must all go and rest our voices in preparation for tonight!”
The hall slowly cleared out, leaving Elizabella and Minnie to pack away the set and props.
“I can’t believe we’ve actually got to opening night without the play being cancelled. I really didn’t think we would,” said Elizabella. She began to feel a big joyous thrill through her body and she started to jump up and down.
“We did it!” she exclaimed. “We did it, we did it, we did it!”
Just then there was an enormous cracking sound. It seemed Elizabella had stomped so hard, a giant fracture had formed in the stage floor.
“Elizabella,” Minnie said, very seriously. “I think you just jinxed us.”
Elizabella looked down at the crack.
“Oh no!” cried Elizabella. “That looks dangerous! There’s no way Mr Gobblefrump will let us perform with a massive hole in the floor! What are we going to do?”
Minnie scratched her head. “Wait here,” she said and she ran off. A few minutes later she returned with her backpack. She pulled out of it the big tube of World’s Strongest Glue that they’d bought at the Bilby Creek Science Spectacular Shop.
“I always take it with me,” Minnie said. “You never know when you’re going to need glue.”
“Do you think this will actually work?” Elizabella asked.
“Well, it’s the strongest glue in the world, isn’t it?” Minnie replied. “If it doesn’t work, nothing will.”
She took off the cap and began squeezing the sticky stuff into the crack in the floor.
* If you want to read a Rhyme Crime, go to the end of the book now!
It was a warm and windy Bilby Creek night when Elizabella’s play was to debut. The entire cast and crew were gathered in the green room – the waiting area for performers getting ready to take the stage. In this case it was actually Miss Carrol’s classroom which had been repurposed.
Elizabella’s heart was beating so fast, she truly thought it was going to come clean out of her chest. In fact, she was so nervous she hadn’t noticed Larry scurry into her backpack before she left the house. Now he waited to make his move. She stared out the window at the trees blowing in the moonlight.
“You nervous?” Huck asked Elizabella.
“Yes,” she replied. “I just really want it to go well. You?”
“Yeah,” he said. Although he wasn’t just nervous about the play. He’d resolved it was time to have a certain conversation with Elizabella. About the thing he wanted to talk about least, but couldn’t get off his mind.
“Elizabella,” he said, “you know next year we’re going to be in Year Five.”
“Yeah?”
“And I was thinking, maybe once we finish senior school and go to high school and then get to Year Eight . . . Once we’re as old as Toddberry and Angeliki, if we still have–”
“All right,” Mr Gobblefrump bellowed, stopping Huck’s train of thought. “In five minutes, we’ll take to the stage.”
He strode over to Elizabella. “I know you’re nervous, dear Writer slash Talking Bucket, but don’t fear, we trust you and you trust us and together we shall all debut A Tale of Two Dogs.” He turned to address the room. “Remember everybody, big loud voices, and above all don’t forget to breathe! I once forgot to breathe in a production of the play whose name you can’t say and I passed out clean on the floor. They left me there like a prop until I woke up midway through the penultimate scene just in time to read my lines!”
“Elizabella, I was saying–” Huck tried to continue before he lost his nerve but Minnie interrupted.
“What’s the play whose name you can’t say?”
“Well I can’t say its name, because it’s considered bad luck,” Elizabella said, “but it’s the one I made the joke about in class. Remember? What’s a bee’s favourite play?”
“Oh!” Minnie said. “Macbeeth.”
“You can’t say Macbeth!” Elizabella said.
“I didn’t!” Minnie said. “I said ‘Macbeeth’! But you just said . . .”
Elizabella’s eyes widened. “The play whose name you can’t say!”
She giggled nervously. “Well, it’s just a stupid old superstition.”
“Elizabella, I was saying . . .” Huck tried once more. But Elizabella had suddenly become as white as a ghost, her eyes bugging out of her head.
“Look!” Elizabella exclaimed, having seen something out the window which made her heart stop. Minnie and Huck peered out to where she was pointing in the playground. It was Leanne. And next to her was Martin – down on one knee!
“Oh no, oh no.” Huck was shaking his head back and forth. “This can’t be happening!”
Leanne put her hands over her mouth and started nodding vigorously. When Martin stood up, he took Leanne in his arms and swung her around in a big circle in the moonlight.
Minnie looked at Huck. “Your mum,” then she turned to Elizabella, “and your dad are–”
“We’re literally going to be brother and sister!” Elizabella stammered. They all stared at each other in total disbelief.
“Come on, let’s go!” Mr Gobblefrump cried out, as the cast and crew of A Tale of Two Dogs, including a completely bewildered Huck and Elizabella, gathered their things and strode out for their debut performance.
Larry had been very stealthy indeed, as he rode, unbeknownst to anyone, in Elizabella’s backpack towards the stage.
From backstage you could hear the audience humming. Elizabella was full of butterflies. At the beginning of the term she’d gone to see her first-ever play, and now her very own play was about to be performed.
I can’t believe my play is about to happen! I can’t believe Huck is going to be my brother! I can’t believe I said ‘Macbeth’! Did I just make it worse by thinking ‘Macbeth’ just now?
While she flapped around with nerves, Larry squeezed himself through the bag opening.
Just then, Mr Gobblefrump approached Elizabella to start the play.
Larry sprang from the bag, quick as a flash, straight into the bucket Elizabella was about to put on her head. As he settled himself inside, Mr Gobblefrump put a hand on Elizabella’s shoulder. She was so bamboozled she didn’t notice Larry at all, or that the bucket was a little heavier than usual, as she put it on her head. Mr Gobblefrump ushered her onto the stage where there was a microphone on a stand. It was time.
The curtains opened and Elizabella looked into the audience through the two big eye holes Sandy had made for her in the bucket. She could just make out the faces in the front row. Her dad and Leanne were right there, the giant diamond on Leanne’s finger glinting so brightly in the near darkness that Elizabella thought it was going to blind her. N
ext to them were Toddberry and Angeliki. And next to them was . . . Isabeth!
Isabeth caught her eye. Surprise! She mouthed at Elizabella on the stage. Then, Break a leg!
Elizabella took a great big breath and began.
“Good evening, welcome one and all
To the Bilby Creek Primary Concert Hall
Before you ask, I’m not a puppet,
I’m your narrator the Talking Bucket
You’re about to witness today
The debut performance of a play
It has highs and lows, and monologues,
It’s called A Tale of Two Dogs
If you like it, tell all, start a riot!
If you don’t, well, then just be quiet.
And so you don’t make your neighbour groan,
Please turn off your mobile phone.”
There was laughing and a little applause from the audience. Larry almost clapped from inside the bucket, but stopped himself. He didn’t want to distract her.
Elizabella looked up and saw Evie in the tech box. Evie gave her a thumbs up and the lights went down. At this point, Elizabella was supposed to run off the stage. But as she went to lift her foot, she realised it was stuck.
She looked up. Minnie was above her in the walkway near the ceiling where she could manoeuvre parts of the set and launch the special effects.
Minnie mouthed down to her. The glue hasn’t dried!
Elizabella couldn’t believe it. She was actually stuck to the stage.
When the lights came back on, she was still there, frozen stiff with no idea what to do. Mr Gobblefrump was standing in the wings, motioning with his hands for her to come, but she wouldn’t move.
Evie turned off the light again, counted to ten and then put it back on. Elizabella was still there in the middle of the stage. From the wings, she could see Mr Gobblefrump’s mouth agape in shock.
Okay, get it together. Elizabella thought. The show must go on! She began to improvise:
“And here we begin our tale of dogs,
Elizabella Breaks a Leg Page 9
