We slept together one time after a student-faculty mixer and as soon as I found out he was going to be involved with my grades, I shut it down. He thought we could keep that separate and said we would just need to be discreet, but I wasn’t so sure. I didn’t just care about discretion. I wasn’t going to risk getting an unfair advantage in a class. I wasn’t going to damage the way I thought of myself like that.
So … self-image preserved, Kate unscathed. But Ian gone. Having things “turn out alright” wasn’t supposed to feel so awful.
“I need a shower,” Kate says. “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair …”
She strips down to her underwear and grabs her toiletries, wraps a bath sheet around herself then puts on her slippers and goes clip-clapping in them down the hallway to the bathrooms. I reach for my phone the moment she’s gone and text Ian, asking him to meet me.
Instead, my phone rings.
“Hey,” he says. “What’s up?”
“Kate told me,” I say.
“Yeah,” he says.
“You didn’t tell her. About us, I mean.”
“You told me you didn’t want to.”
His voice sounds weird. I can’t read him over the phone. He and I never spent much time on the phone. All our time was together in person. In retrospect, I can’t believe we were able to stand that much uninterrupted time together. The only time we ever disagreed was about this. About Kate. I can read almost all Ian’s expressions and gestures, can tell what he’s thinking sometimes before he even says a word.
But our phone game is busted.
“I don’t know now,” I say. “It feels like a cheat.”
“A cheat?” he says back to me.
“Like now you’re free, but I didn’t have to pay the price for …”
“Terri, look …”
The moment he says my name like that, I know things aren’t about to go the way I want them to.
“I mean, it was cool, you and me. I liked bein’ with you. But I feel like, for you at least, it wasn’t all that. Not like it was to me, y’know? And that doesn’t feel right. Bein’ with someone who isn’t in it like I am.”
“Ian, that’s not tr …”
“No, it is. Because …” He stops and sighs. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off. Go ahead.”
I look at the phone in near disbelief. I don’t like how polite he’s being, how dispassionate and controlled.
“I was just going to say that that’s not true. I did … I do want this as much as you want it. I just … I didn’t like how it …” Looked. I didn’t like how it looked.
But I can’t make myself say that. Ian waits through the silence for a few beats more.
“It’s cool. We’re cool,” he says finally. “But for me to be in somethin’ with someone it’s gotta feel balanced, nah mean?”
“Like you and Kate?” I can’t help but ask. “Did that feel balanced?”
Ian gives a short laugh. “Y’know what? Yeah. Because I wasn’t into her all that much, and if some of the stuff she said to me today is true, the feeling was definitely mutual.”
“What did she?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Ian says. “It’s done with. And as for you and me … I think that’s probably done with too. You take care of yourself, Terri.”
I wait until it’s late and I go to the track. I remember him saying that he runs late at night sometimes on the outdoor track because it’s deserted. He isn’t supposed to be there late, but he goes because no one else does, especially on Saturday nights.
“I don’t always party like this on the weekends, y’know,” he told me as we were leaving the movie theater after seeing that godawful Matthew McConaughey picture. “Mostly I run on Saturdays, but this time I wanted to impress a pretty girl.”
“A pretty girl, huh?” I said. “Well give me her number so I can call her and tell her you’re out with me.”
Ian grinned at that, narrowed his eyes and shook his head. Then he gave me one of those stares, where we read a hundred intentions in each other’s eyes. That’s how we wound up making out in the Green Bean, hot and heavy until my dress was up around my waist.
But thankfully I remembered more than that. I remembered that he liked to go to the track on Saturdays, so that was where I was headed.
He’s there alright. But he isn’t alone. As I get closer, I see that there’s someone running with him. A girl. She’s a brunette with Nittany Lions colors on, in short running tights and a sports bra. Her body is amazing, the kind I can never aspire to, because I’m too short. She stretches her quads and then springs up and down a few times.
Ian, next to her, is stretching as well, one arm over his head and then the other. He’s saying something to her as she springs, and then they both laugh.
His laughter is what makes me stop. I watch him for a few moments, and he looks happy. He’s about to run. The thing that he says brings him joy. And there’s a pretty girl next to him, which is how it will always be, because Ian is beautiful and attracts beauty.
I hesitate for a moment, my confidence faltering.
It’s still a toss-up. I am just as likely to turn and leave as I am to stay when he glances up and notices me. He does a double-take and then leans toward the girl to say something. She nods, and then breaks out into a moderately-paced run around the track without him.
Ian begins walking toward me.
When he is close enough, he smiles.
“Hey, Tiny Tee,” he says. “What you doin’ out here? On a Saturday night no less.”
I hate it that he calls me ‘Tiny Tee’ right now.
“Came to see you,” I say.
“How’d you know I …” Then he nods. “Oh yeah. You remembered that?”
“I remember basically everything we ever did together,” I say. “And almost everything we said. Except for the parts where I was maybe a little drunk.”
Ian smiles then looks at the ground. He bites his lower lip and shakes his head.
“That right?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say.
He squints a little and sighs, glancing over his shoulder when the brunette runs by us. I follow his gaze.
“My runnin’ partner,” he says.
“Pretty,” I say.
“My running partner,” he enunciates. “No reason to be all … yeah …” He stops and scratches his neck. “I don’t even know why I’m explainin’ all that,” he says, almost speaking to himself.
“Because you know we’re not done,” I say, looking him in the eyes.
We have a little stare-a-thon and then he looks away, squinting thoughtfully. But he doesn’t say anything.
“I’ll tell her,” I say.
“Ah, so now you wanna break bad. When there’s nothin’ to risk.”
“I didn’t care about losing Kate’s friendship,” I tell him.
“Okay, so then what was it?”
“It was …” I move closer to him. He’s already warm. I can feel it emanating off him. I can see light perspiration on his brow and I can smell his scent. I know it now, could pick him out of a blind smell and taste test.
I remember what he felt like on my lips and tongue. I remember the first time I made him say ‘fuck’.
“What’re you smilin’ about?” he asks.
“Just thinking about something,” I say.
“So tell me, why you feel like you wanna tell her now?”
“Because I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose a chance at something amazing.”
“Amazing,” he says, like he thinks I might be laying it on a little thick.
“You held my hand while I peed in the woods. And took me to get box braids. Some people would say that’s marriage material.” I’m joking, but not really.
Ian grins wide now. I can see him weakening. He shakes his head again, looks over his shoulder.
“I gotta go run for a while,” he says.
“Okay.” I nod.
I was prepared for this. For it not to be simple. I’ll have to work on him for a while, but it feels like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for us.
“Just, I want to tell you one more thing,” I say.
He waits.
“That time in the restaurant? When you said you know that I like to know what comes next, and that’s why I like predictive analytics? That’s true. I like to think I know the next step in a process or … my life even. I like to think I know myself. What I’d do and not do. What I’m capable of.
“I didn’t like you at first because …” I shrug. “You made me feel like I didn’t know … Like you could make me do anything. Even things that I wanted to believe were out of character for me. And this thing with you and me and Kate, it’s not that you made me, but …”
I close my eyes. I’m messing this up.
But when I open my eyes again, Ian is closer. He is close enough to touch, and he’s looking down at me with amusement, and something more. Something like tenderness.
He steps even closer, so I have to look up at him. With the back of his hand, he brushes my arm.
“I’m listenin’…” he says.
“I felt like I wasn’t the kind of person to do what we did. And then we did it, and I told myself the best thing was to pretend it didn’t happen, or maybe if no one knew …”
Ian nods. He knows I can’t explain it any better than that. But he understands anyway.
“Okay,” he says quietly.
“Okay?” I ask. I know I sound incredulous.
“Yeah,” Ian says. “I know. When it comes to you, I’m weak AF.”
He dips his head a little, an invitation. I get up on my toes and tilt my head to one side, and he kisses me. One of the soft, tender ones that make me tingle.
When he pulls away, he inclines his head toward the track.
“I’m gonna run. Wanna stick around a little bit and watch me?”
“Yup.”
“Cool,” he says. He turns away then stops and faces me again. “And after, we can go back to my spot. And … whatever.”
“I could be down for whatever,” I say.
He grins at me, turns and sprints toward the track.
Ian is still sleeping when I wake up. That’s a first. An absolute first. I watch him for a while. He’s one of those disconcerting sleepers. You know the kind. The ones who’re so still you think they might be dead? I lean in, thinking about his heart murmur. I rest my head on the left side of his chest. I listen to it, feel his chest move up and down. I turn my head facedown so I can inhale him, and then I kiss him there and slide out of bed.
It’s almost ten a.m. I can’t believe he’s still sleeping. But he is. It gives me a little time. I can run back to my room, take care of what I need to take care of and meet up with him later. I’m hoping he’s going over to Wayne and Patrick’s and that he’ll want me to come with him. I wouldn’t mind one last dip in their pool before the weather changes.
Just as my feet hit the floor and as soon as I stand, I hear his voice. Coarse, gravelly, exhausted. Reconciliation sex sure must’ve taken something out of him. I hide my grin.
“Where you goin’?” he asks. “C’mere.”
“I have to go home for a little while,” I say. “I have to do something.”
“I told you. You don’t have to do that,” he says.
“I want to do it. And I can’t live with her after … this …”
With the sweep of a hand, I indicate my nakedness, his nakedness, the sex-tousled bed.
“My room’s nicer than y’all’s anyway,” he says. “We can just chill here whenever.”
“All of a sudden you’re Mr. Understanding,” I say as I step into my shorts. “Where’s the guy who was bellowing ‘tell her!’ not so long ago.”
“He’s gone,” Ian says, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “‘Cause I got my girl so everything is everything.”
He pronounces it ‘ev’ry-THANG’. That accent just cannot be real. But if it ever went away, I would be bereft.
“I need to go shower and change anyway.”
“Yeah. You will be needin’ some fresh drawers,” Ian says. “Them jawns …” He shakes his head. “Ruined.”
“I’ll leave them here for you as a souvenir,” I say before kissing him goodbye. “They’re on top of your desk where you tossed them.”
I can’t lie. I second-guess myself as I walk across campus. I have Ian now. He doesn’t care if I tell her or not. He understands why I didn’t. And once I tell Kate what happened, I can’t take it back. It feels like a necessary purging though. And soon enough, she’ll hear about us, or see us together. I may want him to come to the room. Never to sleep there, because that would be grotesque, but even if he just stops by, I can’t let our being together come as a surprise.
I have to tell her.
When I get to the room, Kate is just getting out of the shower. She takes me in, notes that I’m still dressed like yesterday and smirks. Unwrapping her hair from her towel, she lets it hang to one side and combs through it with her fingers.
“Fun night?” she asks.
“Pretty good,” I say, beginning to gather my own things for a shower. I can’t even begin to think about confessing anything about Ian until I’ve washed all last night’s traces of him away. It’s a wonder she can’t smell him on me.
“Don’t be coy, Terri,” Kate sings. “It’s obvious you hooked up.”
I don’t respond.
“I need some,” she says. “Y’know, when Ian broke up with me …”
I tense and hope she doesn’t see me do it.
“I should have known it was coming,” she continues. “He didn’t touch me when I came back from being at home. I was gone for what? Four days? And I get back and we went almost ten days and he didn’t touch me. Like, nothing. Not even once.”
I keep my back to her so she can’t see me smile.
“He’s always kind of had a crush on you, y’know?”
“On me?”
I fidget with my lotion, put soap in my shower caddy. I want to hear more. Not that I couldn’t ask him directly but hearing it from her point of view is different.
“Yup. Asked all these questions. Wanted to know where you were from, how come you didn’t say much ...”
I turn to look at her, the urge to tell her feels like fingers prying open my lips. This would be the time. She’s given me the perfect segue. Then I look directly into her eyes her and there is something watchful and assessing in them.
“When I was gone, Maggie … you know my friend Mags, right?”
I nod.
“She texted me. Said she saw you and Ian in the Hub. That you were …” Kate narrows her eyes as though what she’s about to say couldn’t possibly be right. “That you were feeding each other?”
She laughs and then rolls her eyes. “I told her that couldn’t be true. That you can’t stand Ian’s guts.”
Still, I say nothing. That look is still there. Like cunning.
“But if you wanted to, you could date him. Whatever. I wouldn’t care. I mean, I even thought that sometimes …”
“Thought what?” I ask slowly.
Kate shrugs. “That you’re probably exactly his kind of girl.”
Also by Nia Forrester
The ‘Commitment’ Novels
Commitment (The ‘Commitment’ Series Book 1)
Unsuitable Men (The ‘Commitment’ Series Book 2)
Maybe Never (A ‘Commitment’ Novella)
The Fall (A ‘Commitment’ Novel)
Four: Stories of Marriage (The ‘Commitment’ Series Finale)
The ‘Afterwards’ Novels
Afterwards (The Afterwards Series Book 1)
Afterburn (The Afterwards Series Book 2)
The Come Up (An Afterwards Novel)
The Takedown (An Afterwards Novel)
Young, Rich & Black (An Afterwards Novel)
Snowflake (An Afterwards Novel)
Rhyme &
Reason (An Afterwards Novel)
Courtship (A Snowflake Novel)
The ‘Mistress’ Novels
Mistress (The ‘Mistress’ Trilogy Book 1)
Wife (The ‘Mistress’ Trilogy Book 2)
Mother (The ‘Mistress’ Trilogy Book 3)
The ‘Acostas’ Novels
The Seduction of Dylan Acosta (The Acostas Book 1)
The Education of Miri Acosta (The Acostas Book 2)
The ‘Secret’ Series
Secret (The ‘Secret’ Series Book 1)
The Art of Endings (The ‘Secret’ Series Book 1)
Lifted (The ‘Secret’ Series Book 3)
The ‘Shorts’
Still—The ‘Shorts’ Book 1
The Coffee Date—The ‘Shorts’ Book 2
Just Lunch—The ‘Shorts’ Book 3
Table for Two—The ‘Shorts’ Book 4
The Wanderer—The ‘Shorts’ Book 5
À la Carte: A ‘Coffee Date’ Novella—The ‘Shorts’ Book 6
Silent Nights—The ‘Shorts’ Book 7
Standalone Novels
Ivy’s League
The Lover
Acceptable Losses
Paid Companion
The Makeover
About the Author
Nia Forrester lives and writes in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where, by day, she is an attorney working on public policy, and by night, she crafts woman-centered fiction that examines the complexities of life, love, and the human condition. Subscribe to Nia Forrester’s Newsletter for free reads, exclusive samples, short stories, giveaways and more: https://bit.ly/2UorIXl
Reach her at: [email protected]
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Epigraph
About ‘Not That Kind of Girl’
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Not That Kind of Girl Page 13
