by Andrew Gates
Construction Site Ahead – Proceed Slowly
“Goddammit!” he shouted.
Frank pressed on, ignoring the sign. Half of the hallway before him was roped off. The hall was now a third the width it usually was. People were funneled into the narrow portion like a school of fish.
Time was running out. Frank ducked under the ropes and dashed through the construction site. Wet paint covered his boots, but he did not care. He ignored it and kept running.
When he finally reached the end of the construction, he ducked under the ropes again and continued along his way to the hangar. It was not far now. Just one more turn and…
Frank stopped. He came face to face with the hangar entrance. The door was closed shut. A sign stood before the door:
Hangar Bay Closed for Remodeling
Please Use Hangar Bay in Sector 18 Instead
We Apologize for the Inconvenience
“No!” he cried out. He stomped, he jumped, he swung his arms wildly. This was it. There was nowhere else to go in time.
Frank nervously checked his watch and froze as he read the time.
In that instant, all sound faded away as the walls ripped apart around him. An intense cold covered his body. Air escaped from his lungs. His body expanded and expanded.
And then he died in the vacuum of space.
And just like that, the greatest Empire in the galaxy was defeated.
Talk about an abrupt ending.
Desmond of the Asteroid Belt
Desmond lives alone on the asteroid belt and is afraid to venture outside his home, but when his brother is suddenly taken captive by a mysterious villain, he’ll have to learn to face his fears once and for all.
Desmond of the Asteroid Belt
Desmond cut the cord on the bomb, holding his breath as a sea of sweat clung to his face. Snip!
The timer continued to count down. Six seconds left.
“No!” he cried out.
“Just cut them all!” Rina said as she ran his way.
“All of them?” he repeated. His hands trembled. Three seconds left. He supposed he had no other choice.
Snip, snip, snip, snip! One by one, Desmond cut every cord he could find.
“Nothing is working!” he stated in horror as the timer continued to count down.
Snip!
Zero seconds.
The timer suddenly froze. He could not believe it. A feeling of intense relief rushed over him in that moment. Desmond dropped to the ground and lied flat on his back. He let out a deep breath and cheered.
Rina caught up to Desmond now and dropped on top of him, giving him a great big hug. Her beautiful body clung to him like a magnet.
“Oh my god!” she said in excitement. A huge smile covered her face from cheek to cheek.
“I did it,” Desmond said to himself. “I can’t believe I did it.”
“You saved Eclipse Station, the largest station on this side of Sol!” Rina explained. The beautiful model kissed him on the cheek. “Millions of lives saved because of you!”
“I did it,” Desmond repeated. “I did it. I am a hero!”
Beep, beep, beep!
Desmond opened his eyes and sat up, suddenly awakening from a full-night’s sleep. He turned to face his alarm and glared at the taunting red numbers.
“Shit,” he said as he turned off the blaring sound. He let out a deep sigh and removed the sheets from his bed.
A dream, another goddamn dream.
Now back in reality, Desmond was just his regular-nobody self. He should have known it was all a dream. After all, Desmond was no hero, he was a scared little man who lived in an asteroid belt creatively called Asteroid Town. Desmond was scared of everything and dared not venture outside of his home. The idea of the outside world was just too frightening.
Knock, knock, knock!
Someone was visiting his apartment. Desmond quickly jumped up from his bed and found the closest clothes he could find. He tossed them on and ran to his door, wondering who would dare visit him so early in the morning.
“Hello?” he said as he walked to the door.
“Hey, Desmond!” a voice replied.
Desmond recognized the speaker right away. He sighed, suddenly realizing that he had completely forgotten about his plans.
“Kuzyne!” he said, happily. Desmond opened the door for his cousin, Kuzyne.
Kuzyne came from the friendly world of Frendliwurlt, not far from Asteroid Town. He knew that it was Desmond’s birthday soon but was unable to make Desmond’s awesome Spacerockparty 2647.
“Hey Desmond, where were you? I thought you’d be ready for me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting,” said Desmond as he exited the apartment. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought you might be a burglar or an attacker.” Desmond caught himself in a mirror’s reflection in the hallway and suddenly realized how disheveled he looked.
“Oh no, it’s just me. You don’t have a lot of burglars here, silly. This is a safe part of the belt,” replied Kuzyne.
Desmond stepped forward closer to his cousin. The air in the hall felt colder against his skin than he expected. He forgot how cold it got in August.
“What’s up?” Desmond asked.
“I just wanted to let you know that I am not going to be able to come to your 30th birthday party because I will be out going on space adventures or whatever people do in this universe. Since I can’t come to the Spacerockparty 2647, I just wanted to tell you happy birthday now, instead,” Kuzyne replied.
Desmond smiled as Kuzyne handed him a wrapped gift.
“For me?” He accepted it and held it by his side. “Well thank you, cousin. That means a lot. I know you couldn’t make it to the party, but you didn’t have to get me anything.” He patted Kuzyne on the shoulder. “Too bad you can’t come to the party though. There will be lots of booze on the rocks,” he said.
“Oh, that’s quite alright. I don’t really drink anyway,” the cousin replied.
Suddenly the sound of footsteps echoed from down the hall. Desmond wanted to scurry back inside the apartment, but he was too scared to move.
Around the corner, a little trash-collection robot clanked its way across the metal floor. Desmond screamed. Out of all the scary things in the world, trash-collection robots were Desmond’s least favorite. He couldn’t stand them. He stared at it in horror. After just a few seconds, the robot walked away, out of sight. Desmond calmed down and behaved back to normal.
Kuzyne rolled his eyes and started walking away, but before getting too far, he stopped in his tracks and turned around.
“You know, Desmond. Maybe you should stop being so scared all the time. It was just a little robot,” he said.
Desmond pouted as Kuzyne left his sights. He was sick of people telling him not to be scared, but he didn’t say anything. He just turned and went back into his apartment to prepare for his super awesome party (the Spacerockparty 2647).
As he closed the door, curiosity got the best of him. He removed the wrapping from the package and tossed it onto the ground.
Pickles. Desmond smiled. Kuzyne may have been brash, but he knew how to get a good gift. Pickles were Desmond’s favorite food and a rare delicacy in the asteroid belt. He smiled as he beheld the jar in his hands.
***
The next day started just like any other. Desmond woke up, completed his aerobics workout, drank some green space milk and got ready for work. But as he exited his apartment in the morning, he heard someone screaming and shouting.
“Help! Help!” shouted a female voice down the hall.
Desmond turned to see that the shouter was his brother’s wife, Wiferson. Desmond rushed over to her.
“What is it? What do you need?” he asked.
“Help!” said Wiferson, “my husband, your brother, has been kidnapped and taken to the peak of the highest mountain on the nearby planet of Planet Town. I cannot live without him. He requires rescue!”
Desmond was shoc
ked. His brother, Captivus, was his closet friend in the whole asteroid belt.
“Oh my god. I have to save him!” he said. “Upon which mountain was he taken?”
“The highest peak in all the land! He has been taken to… the Planet’s Peak.”
Desmond froze and shuddered in fear.
“OH MY GOD! NOT THERE! ANYWHERE BUT THERE!” he screamed. “How will we ever save him?”
“Somebody has to do it!” Wiferson said. “And it can’t be me! I have far too many excuses that require my character to stay behind.”
Desmond knew what to do. As much as he wanted to turn and run away, he had to accept the quest on his own. He knew deep down that he was the only one capable of achieving this task. He was the only one smart enough, strong enough and cunning enough to travel all the way to the Planet’s Peak and get to the top.
“I will do it!” he said, confidently. “I must. But I am a very scared person. I do not know if I am brave enough.”
“Of course you are!” replied Wiferson. She patted him on the shoulder. “You are brave enough to do anything! I recall a story when long ago, you did that brave thing and proved to everyone that you are brave.”
Desmond nodded his head. He remembered the story. Man, that was cool.
“You’re right. That did take bravery. Perhaps I can do it!” he said as a sudden rush of optimism overtook him.
Desmond turned back into his apartment and packed some provisions like space vegetables and space meat and whatever else space people eat and was ready to go. He stepped out of his apartment, looked down the hall and was off.
After only a few steps, he paused for a few seconds and let out a deep breath. This was it. He could stop now and turn back, or he could be brave and accept this quest.
He knew what he had to do. He continued forward and didn’t look back.
***
It was a quick walk to the hangar bay. Desmond made it in no time at all. He quickly scanned the area for rental ships and found the kiosk located under a bright green sign labeled Enterprise Rent-a-Starship.
“Hello,” Desmond said as he approached the kiosk.
The woman behind the desk looked up to meet his gaze. A smile covered her face from cheek to cheek.
“Why, hello there!” she greeted.
“Hi, uh, I’d like to rent a starship, please.”
“Wonderful!” the woman replied. “How long will you be needing the ship?”
“Uh… I suppose a few days,” Desmond replied, suddenly realizing that he did not know how long this journey would last. That thought was daunting, but he held himself together, reminding himself that he could not succumb to the fear.
“We offer discounted rates for week-long rentals,” the woman said.
“Oh, then I’ll do that! One week, please.”
“Great! Any preference on model?”
“No. I’ll take anything.”
“Wonderful! I’ll just need a copy of your insurance information.”
Desmond paused. “Uh… my what?”
“Your starship insurance,” the woman explained. The same smile still filled her face as if she had no other emotion.
“Uh… hold on one sec,” Desmond nervously replied as he turned away from the desk.
[Hey guys, it’s the author here! This is where I was supposed to write a long scene about the difficulties of getting ship insurance. It was going to be hilarious! I was also going to use this as an opportunity to introduce the fact that the protagonist plays guitar, which is a key element that will be used later in the story. But instead, I didn’t write any of that and I sat outside drinking beer with my cat. So feel free to enjoy the next cut-away instead. Bye!]
***
At long last, Desmond landed his ship in an open plain near the mountain. It was the closest LZ he could find. The mountain was surrounded by a thick forest on all sides.
Desmond exited the ship, finishing up a handful of chips as he walked his way down the ramp. When he got to the bottom, he raised the ramp back up and clicked the keys, making sure it was locked.
Beep!
Good. It was locked. Now he just needed to remember where he parked so he could find it on the way back.
Desmond stared at the vast forest before him. It was a long way to the mountain. He gulped. This was the farthest he had ever ventured from his home in Asteroid Town. He felt himself tremble.
“You can do this,” he said aloud. He closed his eyes, trying to forget how scary this whole adventure was. “You can do this,” he repeated, reopening his eyes now.
He let out a deep breath and took his first step forward. It came easily.
“See, that was not so bad,” he said to himself. “Just keep doing that. One foot before the other.”
After a few minutes of traveling through the woods, Desmond came across a long river. An obese man with a limp stood before the only bridge across, as if guarding it.
Desmond approached slowly, worried what dangers this man could bring. He quickly studied the area, making sure there was no other way. But as far as he could tell, he had to cross the creek in order to get to the Planet’s Peak.
Desmond was very afraid of strangers. He didn’t like them. He didn’t like the way he didn’t know who they were. But even though he was afraid, he approached anyway.
“Hello, obese man! I would like to get across this bridge so I can get to the other side and rescue my brother who was taken atop a great mountain,” Desmond proclaimed to the man.
The man came closer and looked at Desmond. From this close, Desmond noticed that this man was no man at all. It was a woman, a very manly-looking woman at that.
“What the hell did you just say to me?”
“Oh,” Desmond replied. He felt wholly embarrassed. “I mean… hello, obese woman!”
“That’s what I thought,” the woman replied. She eyed him up and cleared her throat. “My name is Protecta Rivercross. I will let you pass, but only if you can complete my incredibly complex and super athletic aerobic workout,” she said.
Desmond was nervous. He didn’t know if he could complete this woman’s workout. She appeared very flexible, after all. But Desmond practiced aerobics every single morning. Perhaps he had a shot.
“I am willing to do whatever it takes to save my brother, even if it means doing something I am afraid of.” Desmond nodded his head and took a few nervous steps forward. “I accept your challenge, Protecta Rivercross. Let us begin.”
Protecta started the aerobic workout and Desmond followed her every step down to the letter. At first, he was not sure he could do it, but as the workout went on, he realized that he could do it very easily. He had spent so much time working out on his own that he was now a super-fit master who could accomplish any workout routine. In fact, Desmond was actually doing the workout better than his challenger. By the time the workout was over, Protecta was very tired but Desmond had barely broken a sweat.
“Whoo, you have completed my challenge,” said the guard through a series of deep pants. “You can now cross the bridge. But first, I must know your name. I need to remember the name of the brave and powerful man who passed my test. For you are the first creature in all the forest to ever complete my workout.”
Desmond smiled and stood up straight.
“I am Desmond of Astroid Town,” he said.
“I am also of Astroid Town,” Protecta replied. “I am honored to make your acquaintance. I wish you well on your quest. May your travels be safe.”
“Thank you, Protecta Rivercross of Astroid Town.”
And so, Desmond crossed the bridge and was off once again. Having passed the guard’s test, he realized he no longer was afraid of strangers. They were not scary after all.
***
Desmond pressed on and on. As he walked, the trees started getting thinner. Slowly the world was beginning to open up. Looking forward, it was as if the forest suddenly stopped.
Eventually he came to a big open lake. Several other travele
rs were sitting around the lake, drinking water. He had not noticed until now, but he was getting rather thirsty. Perhaps stopping for a drink was not a bad idea.
Desmond waited his turn, because that’s just polite. Once all the other travelers dispersed, Desmond walked on up to the lake and started drinking the crisp water. To his surprise, this water was not like normal water. It was sweeter than normal water. Desmond thought this was odd at first, but he welcomed this unique taste and kept drinking.
After a few more sips, he started feeling bit dizzy and disoriented. Desmond thought this sweet water must have some sort of magical powers. He drank more and more and then his memory started getting hazy. Before he knew it, he started hallucinating.
Desmond looked into the clear lake water, but instead of seeing his reflection, he saw something else. It looked like him, but it wasn’t him. It was a different version of him with a big American Flag t-shirt and short jean shorts, almost like a hillbilly of ancient Earth.
“Who are you?” Desmond asked to the reflection in the water.
The reflection turned and looked at Desmond with a big grin underneath his thick moustache.
“Who am I? I’m Desto Confidenz!” said the reflection in a thick, almost unintelligible southern accent.
“Desto Confidenz? I’ve never heard of you,” said Desmond.
The reflection smiled and chuckled.
“This water holds special powers,” replied the reflection. “I’ve been inside of you all along. But I can only be released through the power of this magic water.”
Desmond was stunned. Was there really another consciousness living inside of him this entire time? He couldn’t believe this news.
“You mean there’s another consciousness living inside of me this entire time? I can’t believe this news!” Desmond said, repeating the text from the earlier paragraph. “How do I let you out, Desto Confidenz?” he asked.
