by B. Love
This was new, and it was nice… being able to feel again. Feel something good. Damn good.
Just the thought alone made Maria smile and lower her head.
“What’s on your mind?” Jax questioned, removing his hand from hers to grab his blunt out of the visor. He’d pulled up in his bright red drop top Ferrari, and as much as she wanted to go for a ride and allow the mid-March wind to blow through her hair, she appreciated the privacy of the top being up and windows being tinted.
“You. How much I’m starting to like you.”
Maria waited until he had his blunt lit and in his mouth to crawl over to his side of the car. Pulling the blunt from between his lips, Jax exhaled the smoke into her waiting mouth before ordering, “Don’t come over here starting no shit.”
She exhaled the smoke through her smile. “What you mean?”
“I mean what I said. Don’t come over here starting no shit.”
“Why would I do that?”
Not bothering to give him time to answer, Maria wrapped her hand around his neck and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. Truth of the matter was, she was horny as fuck. They hadn’t had sex yet, and she was going crazy with desire to feel and be filled by his dick. At first, they waited because Jax felt that was for the best. He swore she wasn’t ready for all he had to offer, and now that they were dating, Maria agreed. Now, they’d been waiting because he didn’t want to hurt her.
But Maria had always been the roughest out of her sisters. The pain, though she felt it, was nowhere near enough to break her or slow her down too much. At this point, all this waiting shit was for the birds. If Jax didn’t give up the dick soon, Maria would have to finesse him out of it.
He moaned into her mouth and squeezed her ass before pushing her away.
“You tryna break a nigga, huh?” Though there was a hint of amusement in his voice and eyes, his mouth was a straight line.
“Yep. Somebody promised me multiple orgasms in one day. I needs that.”
Jax rested his head against the headrest as a smile appeared. “How you feel? Let me see your stitch work.”
Lifting the sides of her shirt, Maria’s head shook at their now daily routine. Every time they were together, Jax wanted to inspect the hole that was slowly closing and leaving a scar behind. One that would remind her of a very valuable lesson for the rest of her life. And that lesson was to never go against her instincts.
It was her instincts that told her that there was something about Vincent that was familiar to her. If she would have listened, she could have done more research and found out who his father was. It was her instincts that told her that he was moving way too fast. If she would have listened, she could have slowed things down and realized he was not to be trusted. And it was also her instincts that told her not to let Vincent know where she laid her head. If she would have listened, there would be no hole in her side and grazed scar a few inches closer to her spine.
“I feel fine, baby. I promise,” Maria assured, cupping his neck.
“Aight. If your next two-week checkup is good, I’ll give you this dick.”
“Two weeks,” she whined, getting a chuckle out of him.
“It’ll be worth it wit’ your lil horny ass.”
Maria’s fists balled up before she could stop it and this time, he was unable to keep her from hitting him as he normally was.
“Mane, if you don’t unball these baby bottle pop ass fists!”
Her head flung back as laughter erupted from her throat. “Shut up, Jax!”
“I’m for real. Always tryna hit somebody with these little ass fists.”
“So? They hurt though.”
“Umhm. Just for that I’ma make you wait three weeks.”
“Three,” she stretched, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back and away from him. “Nah, Jax. That’s too long.”
“Now you see how I been feeling ever since the day I met you.”
“I bet. That’s all you wanted from me then anyway. My pussy.”
His head shook as he pulled her back closer. “Nah. I’ve always wanted all of you. Couldn’t help that I was physically and sexually attracted to you from the jump, though.”
Releasing a sigh, Maria reached across to her seat and grabbed the small backpack she decided to carry instead of a purse. “I gotta go. Nash is waiting on me.”
Her hand went to the door, but Jax covered it and kept her from opening it. “Let that nigga wait. This my time.”
“Boy you act like I ain’t been sitting in this car with you for at least a good hour.”
“And? You act like I ain’t got used to going to sleep and waking up next to you.”
“Okay, okay. Well, how about you come back to my place tonight? No matter how late. I’ll get up.”
Jax’s head shook, and Maria couldn’t help but laugh. This wasn’t the first time she’d said that, and the other two times she slept completely through his phone calls.
“Nah, Maria. I’m not even about to play with you like that again.”
“If you come over, I’ll hear the doorbell.”
“Nah. I’m not coming over after putting in work until I got a key.”
A beat of silence fell between them as she thought over his declaration. “If you give me yours, I’ll give you mine.”
Jax nodded as his head tilted. “Aight. I’ll bring my spare with me tonight. And if your ass don’t answer that motherfuckin’ door…”
“I wiillll,” she sang through her smile before placing a kiss to his lips and getting out of his car.
Her smile, no matter how hard she tried to wipe it away, continued to linger. Maria was practically forcing herself to frown, but it wasn’t working. Eventually she gave in and allowed her smile to remain as she greeted the receptionist and headed to Nash’s office. As usual, he greeted her with a hug before sitting next to her.
“That smile looks good as hell on you. I see Jax know what the fuck to do with you huh?”
With a roll of her eyes, Maria bit down on her bottom lip. “Whatever. I could say the same about Christian with you.”
Nash shrugged as he pulled his phone out, probably about to text her. “I wouldn’t deny it either.”
That was true. It didn’t matter what their relationship status was in the past, you could literally see and feel Nash’s love for Christian. Now that they were finally committed to each other, it glowed and bounced from one to the other even brighter. Maria probably wouldn’t have said it out loud, but she admired a love like theirs. One that had a solid foundation of friendship above anything else.
“So what’s the deal? Is it a go or not?”
“Yea. We have a solid schedule for the trucks, so we will know when to strike. I’m not really comfortable bringing anyone else in on this shit after what happened with you and Ricky.”
Maria nodded as she confessed, “I feel the exact same way. I know it’ll be harder for us to do it on our own, but I really think we could.”
“That’ll also keep the split to just fifty-fifty.”
“I do think we should maybe bring Leigh in for that snipe hit, but she won’t want much for it if anything.”
“I’m with that, so this is what I’m thinking…” Nash leaned forward and showed her the screenshot he’d saved in his phone. “When they stop at the red light on the corner of Smith and Mason, that’s where we will have the setup.”
Maria nodded, knowing that would be the most important part. If she didn’t look distressed enough from a fake car accident to get them to stop, things could go left. They could stop the engine but that would give them time to call for help on their walkie talkies. Their phones will be deactivated but the signal will not touch their walkie talkies. The stop would have to be organic, and one or both of them would have to be out of the car.
“If they get out to see about you, that’s when Leigh will hit them with the tranquilizer and temporarily put them to sleep. If they don’t, we will stop the engine manually and be ready to u
se real bullets if necessary.”
She sighed, not wanting any more blood on her hands. “Cool. Your guy is gonna have the lights go back red as soon as the two of you pass through?”
“Right. I’ll stall, make it seem like I was on my phone or some shit, then pull off after them once the light turns yellow.”
“What if someone runs the light?”
“I’ll take care of them.”
Maria nodded again as she stood. “Aight, cool. I’ll link up with Pressure and let him know we’re good to go. When are we doing this?”
“First of next month,” Nash answered as they stood.
He walked her out to her car before getting inside of his. Maria called Pressure to see where he was, smiling when he answered with, “Maria—ia—ia.”
“Where you at, Pressure?”
“I can’t say. You good?”
Her eyes rolled. That meant he was doing some shit he didn’t have no business doing.
“Yea. I was about to pull up on you, but I see you occupied.” Pressure chuckled. “Everything is good. On the first.”
Catching on immediately, Pressure replied with, “Bet. Be safe out here, baby sis.”
“You too. One love.”
“One love.”
Maria disconnected the call and decided to ride around for a while before going to her arcade since pulling up on her brother was a no go. Knowing Pressure, he was with some man’s wife that his ass had no business with. As good of a man as he was, Maria would never understand why he chose the women he did. He’d never been a cheater, but he only dealt with women who were in committed relationships.
He would say it was because they wouldn’t put pressure on him and expect more than he was willing to give, but there were single women who would do the same.
Whatever the case, Maria loved her brother, and she hoped one day Exotic or some other woman would be able to get him straight.
Thankfully, Ever was having a good day today. In fact, she’d been having a good week. Only once did she have a spell and run away. Other than that, she’d been home and in her right mind. Since the only person in her family who knew that she was pregnant was her grandmother, Leigh decided to stop by and talk to her about her appointment tomorrow.
She expressed her unsurety with keeping the baby, and Ever assured her that she would be an amazing mother with time. She also made it clear that she would support Leigh’s decision no matter what she chose.
On her way home, she called Ransom to remind him about the appointment in the morning. His phone rang about three times before he answered, and as soon as he did Leigh smiled.
“It’s nice to call you and it actually goes through,” she teased.
“Me blocking you really fucked with you huh?”
“Absolutely. I was used to having access to you, plus you know I don’t like being ignored.”
“Well, you have unlimited access to me now. What’s up?”
“I was just calling to remind you about the appointment in the morning.”
“I won’t forget. What you about to get into? You hungry?”
Leigh chuckled. “You are really trying to fatten me up.”
“Let me. Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“Cool. I’ll meet you at your place and fix you dinner.”
It took her a second to respond because she was blushing so hard. Leigh hardly ever got a full meal out of Ransom. If he cooked, it was something small and simple unless it was a special occasion – otherwise he wanted to eat out.
“I would love that. See you soon.”
“Aight pretty girl.”
After disconnecting the call, Leigh chuckled and shook her head. She never would have thought they would make it to this point. It was one thing for them to still be talking, but it was something on a completely different level for their relationship to be functioning in such a healthy manner.
Just the thought of them being on such good terms made her giggle as she searched for a different album to listen to at the red light. She’d gotten through the intro and first full song on Chika’s album before she received a call from her mother. Leigh was so caught off guard by the call that it took her a few seconds to answer. There wasn’t necessarily consistent static between her and Porsha… but they weren’t really close either.
With Leigh being a daddy’s girl, there was a part of her that held Porsha responsible for his disappearance. Even though, as a woman, she knew that wasn’t the case… that was a hard mentality to shake. Leigh could say, though, that having Ransom’s baby inside of her had slowly began to change her view of relationships and parenthood. Already, their child’s best interest was her biggest priority. No matter what, she wanted what would be best for him or her.
If that meant not being in the child’s life, so be it. In her mind, she wanted the child to have the perfect family with both parents in the home, which helped her understand why Porsha stuck around even when she felt like Ricky was up to no good. It was going to take some time, but Leigh was confident that one day she’d be able to fully accept the fact that her father leaving was one hundred percent on him… not Porsha or herself and her siblings for that matter.
“Hey,” she greeted, trying to mask the uneasiness in her tone. “Everything okay?”
“Yea. I was just calling to check on you. Dreamed about you.”
“Oh Lord.” Porsha chuckled. “What was the dream about?”
“You were swimming in the ocean with a school of fish around you.”
Twisting her mouth to the side, Leigh ran her hand down her throat. “What you dreaming about me and fish for?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out. Do I have a grandbaby on the way?”
“Ma…” Leigh chuckled, hating that Porsha had even asked. She didn’t want to lie, but she also didn’t want to tell the truth. Not until she was sure of what she was going to do. “I thought you were really calling to talk to me about something. Are things still kind of bad between you and Derrick?”
Porsha allowed Leigh to deflect and change the subject, and they talked until she pulled into her garage. She ended the call, then headed into her home. Her day hadn’t really been long, but she was still fairly tired because she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. Plus, it was always a little mentally and emotionally draining talking to her mother.
Her mother.
Soon, she would be a mother.
And all Leigh could think about was if she kept the baby would their relationship be strained sometimes like the one she had with her own mother. Shaking her head, Leigh figured her own baby could be her chance to have a positive, loving, right mother and child relationship.
But was that really necessary?
Hell, her mother was still living.
And Porsha did everything she could to be there for Leigh – even when that meant giving her space.
If anything, she was the one keeping them from having the consistently loving and positive relationship she desired for them to have. It was her resentment, her bitterness, her misunderstanding, her shifting the blame and forcing her mother to take responsibility for her father’s choices.
Her father.
God.
She had to let this go.
When Leigh made it inside of her home, she leaned against the stove and considered calling her mother back and telling her the truth. Figuring this could be a bonding moment for the two of them, she decided to call Porsha back and allow her into her life in a way that no one else had been granted. Except Ever. And she pretty much made her way in with no invitation.
“Hello?” Porsha answered, but Leigh couldn’t speak right away. “Did this girl butt dial me?”
Chuckling, Leigh shook her head. “No, I… just don’t know how to say what I want to say.”
“Just… say it.”
Inhaling a deep breath, Leigh looked down at her lavender colored acrylic nails. “You were right, I’m pregnant.” As soon as Porsha yelled int
o the phone, Leigh pulled it away from her ear and chuckled. “Aye! Don’t get too excited over there. I don’t know if I’m keeping the baby.”
Of course Porsha didn’t hear her. She was too damn busy yelling and thanking God for her first grandbaby. Porsha’s excitement filled Leigh with joy. Made her feel good as hell to be able to offer her mother something so precious. Something that could get such a reaction out of her. And when she heard Porsha sobbing she began to cry her own self… wishing she would have been able to tell her this in person to see her face.
To be held by her.
To feel the love and joy that was erupting within her.
And then Leigh remembered that just as high as she’d just taken Porsha would be just as low as she’d bring her down when she shared that she may not be keeping the baby.
“I knew it,” Porsha gloated before laughing. “How far along are you? Do you know what you’re having? Does anyone else know? Is Ransom the father?”
Leigh sighed as she walked out of the kitchen and headed to her bedroom. “I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t know if I’m keeping the baby yet. I’m not getting an abortion, but I may give up my rights and let Ransom have full custody. Grandma is the only person who knows, and she knows because she told me I was pregnant. I didn’t plan on telling anyone until I was sure of what I was going to do.”
“Then why did you tell me?”
Leigh shrugged as if her mother could see her. “I don’t know. Just wanted to.” She paused. “I know we don’t have the tightest bond. We joke around and shit but… I know I give you a hard time sometimes, and it’s not your fault. You allow me to take my frustrations with him out on you and that isn’t fair. So I guess I felt like… maybe if I shared this with you… it could help us grow closer. But now I just feel like I disappointed you because I honestly don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.”
“Baby,” Porsha whispered before releasing a hard breath. “I take the burden of your pain over your father because I chose to create you with him. It was my choice to have children with him, so I have to deal with the consequences of that. In a perfect world, I’d be the only person suffering because of Ricky, but you hold on to pain because of him too.
