by Hope Ford
I point to myself dumbly. “But… it’s me, Cora.”
He doesn’t recognize me?
“I know who you are, of course,” he says without a hint of a smile, but the direct eye contact lets me know he’s telling the truth. “I was just on my way back to the floor.”
“I’m here to talk with you about a patient that was just given to me, Troy Nelson. Is there a time I can come back—”
Patton turns and opens his office door. “I can discuss the patient with you now. I didn’t realize he was referred to you.”
“He wasn’t. He was just passed on to me since I’ve yet to receive any patients from you, but I’m sure that’s because you didn’t know I work with this hospital. Right?”
I can’t stop staring at him. He looks more serious than the sexy soldier who kissed me, but he’s just as attractive, if not more so than he was then. His face is covered in a beard, and there are gray hairs sprinkled throughout. He’s bigger than I remember; even his shoulders are broader. He’s even more appealing than I remember.
Patton doesn’t answer my question, but I can’t help but notice he doesn’t seem at all surprised to be running into me. What is going on with you, Patton?
PATTON
I am all business, ignoring the fact that she’s obviously surprised to see me. I’m doing my very best to ignore my body’s reaction to seeing her again. I reached out automatically to steady her on her feet but let go just as fast when I felt her curvy body pressed into mine. Up close, Cora is even more tempting than faraway Cora. I clear my throat and concentrate on discussing the facts of the patient, including his injuries and mental state. I have to concentrate or I’ll notice just how beautiful Cora is, and how devastatingly gorgeous she’s become. Her body has matured into the sexy, feminine curves of a woman, and even without allowing myself to look her over, I can’t miss that fact.
I need to get out of this office where we’re alone together, and I need to do it now.
I cross my arms over my chest and step back from her. Even her scent is intoxicating. In a guarded voice, I am very thorough in discussing the patient. I stare over her head and focus on a plaque on the wall as I drone on and on about what needs to be done. “Do you have any questions?” I ask her.
“No. You want Mr. Nelson set up with a behavioral health therapist, one that will specialize in preparing him for transitioning from soldier to civilian. Furthermore, you would like his wife to partake in any counseling so that she can help with his transition and make it smoother. You would like me to find him some suitable jobs to apply for, so he’s still able to contribute to the family dynamic. You would also like for me to monitor all of his progress and keep the file current. Correct?”
She’s good. There’s no doubt about it. She took all my doctor jargon and long spiel and was able to tell me exactly what I asked for in just a few sentences, telling me that she is a good listener and good at her job.
I nod. “That’s it exactly.”
I move to walk past her, and she moves in front of me, making me wait as she stands in front of the door. Her hand goes up, and I stop before she can touch my chest. “What are you doing here? How long have you been here? Are you avoiding me?”
Is she kidding? Maybe she just needs to hear me say it to gain better closure.
I step back again, not sure what to say. Maybe I just need to be upfront with her. I promised her brother I’d keep an eye on her, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. But I can continue doing it from afar. I’m not here to interfere with her life.
3
Cora
My heart is pumping fast and beating like a drum in my ears, but I have to find out what the heck is going on. Patton is speaking to me like I’m a complete stranger. Combine that with the fact that he hadn’t returned a single one of my calls and there is no denying that something is up.
Patton takes a step back after I blocked his way out, putting more space between us before he speaks. He acts as if I’m a leper or something by the way he doesn’t even want to stand close to me. “It’s obvious why I’ve kept my distance. As to why I’m working here, I work exclusively with veterans now, and this was a perfect fit.”
Flustered, I throw my hands up. Is he kidding? “Obvious? No, Patton, it isn’t obvious. I need you to spell it out for me. I think you owe me that much. I’ve called you so many times over the past year, and you haven’t returned one phone call.”
He hangs his head as he says my name. “Cora—”
His voice is gritty and filled with emotion as he reaches for me and then almost instantly drops his hands. It’s like he can’t even stand the thought of touching me. Heck, he acts as if he doesn’t want to be close to me.
The fact that he doesn’t even want to touch me is like a slap in the face. I take a step back until I’m up against the wall. “Don’t, Patton. Don’t act like you feel bad for me or whatever this is. You obviously don’t want anything to do with me, and I’m sorry that I’ve been pushing myself into your life. I thought... I just thought—” I stop and shake my head in irritation. I can’t tell him, though—not what I really thought. I had hoped there was something between us, at least I felt there was, but I must have imagined it all.
“Cora, listen to me. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to call me or reach out to me because of some kind of duty you feel toward Jason. I couldn’t save him... You don’t owe me anything. I assure you it isn’t necessary that you put yourself through this.”
I stare up at him, stunned. He doesn’t truly believe that, does he? I can both see and hear how much the admission weighs on him, but does he really believe that I believe it was all his fault? That Jason is dead because of him?
“What? Patton, you’re not making sense. You can’t really think I blame you. I know and Jason knows that you would have saved him if it was possible. I don’t blame you, not even for a second.”
Patton nods without making eye contact and slides past me into the hallway. “Thank you for saying that.”
I can see that he is still blaming himself even if I’m not. Damn, I’m so stupid. How could I have not put this together before now? Dr. Stevens is right... he does blame himself... or is he saying all this to let me down easy? Regardless, I can’t just let him walk away.
I follow behind him and grab on to his arm. He stops suddenly, and I hear him suck in a breath as he stands completely still. He won’t look at me – he doesn’t even turn around - but I have to try to free him from his guilt.
“Hey, I mean it, Patton. It wasn’t your fault.”
Patton’s body is stiff at my words, and I try to think of something to say that will help him to forgive himself for not being able to save Jason, but he only walks away.
PATTON
I’m angry with myself for feeling a great portion of the weight of my guilt lifted at what Cora said. I don’t deserve to feel better, not after I wasn’t able to save Jason. Worse, after seeing her up close and feeling that pull toward her like I’d felt when I’d kissed her after her graduation, I can’t stop thinking about her sweet scent, or wonder what the feel of her soft body might be like against my bare skin.
These are thoughts I don’t have the right to be thinking, but they won’t stop.
To prove to myself and to Jason that I can control myself, I take my lunch in the courtyard where I’ve observed from afar that Cora takes hers. Instead of sitting on the edge or lurking behind a hedge, I actually walk into the courtyard this time.
I see Cora spot me, but I make a point of not seeing her wave to me. I take the last seat at the table where the doctors I work with are seated. Some of them aren’t so bad to be around while a couple of them are unkind to their patients, which in my eyes makes them a bad doctor.
“You’re eating in the courtyard at last,” Dr. Perry says with a cheerful, round-cheeked grin.
“Looks like he has an in with the sexy case worker too,” Dr. Underwood says, elbowing Dr. Jones on my left with a pointed look at C
ora, who is still watching me. “Maybe he’ll give you an introduction.”
I look at Dr. Jones, who I haven’t developed a fondness or dislike for as of yet. “Why would you need an introduction?”
“Why? Have you seen her?” Dr. Jones asks. “I get a yes from her and I’ll dump my fucking fiancée.”
I don’t like Dr. Jones.
“I’d divorce my wife,” Dr. Underwood laughs, elbowing Jones again.
“So you don’t have the balls to ask her out? It sounds like you’re lucky to have a woman willing to marry you. Maybe you should stick with her,” I say.
Dr. Underwood laughs, but Dr. Jones doesn’t.
“This is your first time eating in the courtyard, so I’m going to give you a pass for that assumption. You haven’t seen how many guys she’s turned down, not including dates because several of the men who asked her out tried more than once.”
“Maybe you should wait to see a sign of interest from her first,” I say, telling myself I’m not going to meddle any more in Cora’s social life.
4
Cora
“Who are you waving at?” asks Ashley, one of the nurses I’m friends with from the hospital.
“Patton, but he didn’t see me.”
“Patton?” Ashley turns in her chair to look. “Oh, the new doc? The female staff are all calling him Dr. Hottie. He’s so handsome. Do you know him?”
I feel my face growing pink as I listen to my friend admiring Patton.
I’m not jealous, I’m just… protective.
“Yeah, I do. I’ve known him for a long time, actually. He served with my brother,” I say. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but ask, “So you’ve all taken special notice of him, huh?”
Ashley raises her right eyebrow. “Cora… you sound a little…. Oh my gosh, you like him, don’t you?”
“Ashley, come on. Keep your voice down,” I say as I glance as discreetly as possible in Patton’s direction. He has a serious expression on his handsome face, but the way his brows are furrowed, it is clear he is not in a good mood.
“Since you turn down every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes over and tries to take you out, you’ll have to forgive my surprise,” Ashley says, not lowering her voice in the least.
“You’re reading way too much into me waving at someone I know, don’t you think?” I say, trying to put a lid on the fact that I’m crushing on the same guy I’ve been crazy about since I was in high school.
I manage to get Ashley talking about something else, but I take every opportunity I can get to sneak another peek at Patton. He looks angry, but even angry he is sexy. His arms are so muscular and big they seem to be straining the sleeves of the lab coat he’s wearing.
Even when he’s pressing his lips together, he’s still got a sexy lower lip that’s full and soft. I can almost feel it against my own, urging my lips apart like he’d done when I’d kissed him after graduation.
“…even listening to me? I feel like I’m just talking to myself,” Ashley complains, getting my attention again.
“I’m listening. I’m just thinking, that’s all.”
“Thinking about how sexy Dr. Hottie is,” Ashley laughs.
PATTON
Dr. Perry leaves the table, and Dr. Jones gets up from his spot to sit next to me. “I think you’ve got that angle. She waved to you; she never does that,” he says. “If you’re not going to ask her out, you could at least introduce me, right?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Dr. Jones glares at me. “You know what? That’s fine because I got a patient today that needs to be referred to a case worker. I’ll just go introduce myself. I don’t need your help getting laid,” Dr. Jones says with a laugh.
I know it isn’t my business or my right to interfere, so I force myself to remain seated as Dr. Jones gets up and starts toward Cora.
“That guy is so lucky with the ladies,” Dr. Underwood starts complaining to one of the other doctors. “He’s had at least three different girlfriends this year, not counting the fiancée.”
The other doctor doesn’t seem interested to hear what Dr. Underwood has to say, so he turns his attention back to me. “The things he gets them to do is insane. One time he showed me this picture of… Hey, where are you going?”
I didn’t realize I was up out of my seat until I heard Dr. Underwood calling after me. I don’t have to wonder where my feet are taking me because stopping Dr. Jones is all I can think about. I won’t let him reach Cora... not without a warning first. I may be a doctor in a hospital, but I still am and always will be a protector.
Dr. Jones is just about to stop at Cora’s table when I catch up with him, pushing him to continue walking. “Dr. Jones, you aren’t going to pursue Cora. She’s off limits.”
“What? You’re crazy. I’ll ask out whoever the hell I want to ask out,” Dr. Jones says.
I force him to take the next corner with me so we are out of eyeshot of the courtyard. “You’ll stay away from her, Jones, or your body will end up with the John Does in the morgue. She’s the little sister of my late best friend who died in the service, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to protect her. Am I making myself clear?”
Dr. Jones nods so fast his teeth knock together.
“Good.”
I let him go and watch as he walks in the opposite direction of Cora. I don’t let out the breath I’m holding until he’s out of sight. I can feel Cora’s eyes on me; I can literally feel her watching me, but I don’t turn around because right now, I’m so close to letting my anger take over, I don’t want her to see me like this. Rage is a dangerous thing, and just the thought of another man touching her makes my blood boil. I stalk off, leaving my uneaten lunch on the table in the courtyard.
I return to my office and work the rest of the afternoon with back-to-back appointments. I’m just now walking out of my office when I’m surprised to find one of my patients waiting by the front door close to quitting time. “Can I help you, Mr. Nelson?”
“The case worker you referred me to handed me off to this other case worker, and I’ve got a session scheduled for tomorrow, but I really wanted to meet her so I stopped by and learned she’s not in this afternoon.”
I nod. “I’m aware of the switch. I’m sure she’ll make the appointment with you tomorrow if she hasn’t already contacted you to reschedule,” I assure him.
Mr. Nelson frowns at me as he rolls his wheelchair closer to me. “I wish I could feel as confident of that as you seem to feel. When the receptionist told me she wasn’t in, it didn’t surprise her at all that she wasn’t in the office. I’ve got a family, and I need to be doing my best to get my head on right for them. I need someone I can count on.”
“I’m sure she’s dependable, but I’ll look into this for you just to be sure,” I say, seizing a reason to go and check in with Cora and poke into the reason for her absence.
“Thank you, Doc. I appreciate that,” Mr. Nelson says and rolls down the sidewalk.
I leave the hospital and go to the second facility where the case management and therapy department is located. Along the way, I try calling Cora, and it goes straight to voicemail. I don’t know why, but an uneasy feeling builds up, and I jog anxiously to the reception area of her office. I try to calm myself. It is closer to the end of the day; maybe she needed to leave early.
The woman behind the desk smiles up at me, batting her eyes. “Hello. Can I help you?”
I put my hands on the desk and lean toward her. “Yes, I’m here to see Cora Ashton.”
With her smile still in place, she says, “I’m sorry, Cora’s not in. But I’d be happy to help you.”
“Actually, I need to talk to her about a patient. Can you tell me how I can reach her?”
The woman blows out a breath. “It’s Thursday. She’s probably working under the bridge.”
Alarmed, I blink at the woman, not understanding. “What do you mean, under the bridge?”
“She started the Bridge Proje
ct a little over a year ago. There’s so many homeless veterans that she goes to the bridges downtown to try and help and assist those that need services.”
“All on her own?”
The nurse nods, wide-eyed.
“That’s ridiculous!”
The nurse is looking at me like she doesn’t know which way to run. I don’t care if I look crazy. “Who is her supervisor? That can’t be something that was approved.”
“Her supervisor is-”
“What bridge? Tell me where,” I demand, cutting her off.
I have my office cancel the rest of my appointments for the day and go searching for Cora. Because according to the nurse, Cora doesn’t just go looking for trouble under one bridge, but most of the bridges in the city.
I feel like the vein in my forehead is going to burst, I’m so stressed out. It isn’t until the fourth bridge I try that I see her. It feels like I can breathe again, but the panic is still there because I’m parked next to the bridge and must find a way down to her. With my eyes locked on Cora, I scale down the hill, ignoring all the dirt and grime that coats my pants as I almost slide down.
She is handing out socks and bags of toiletries and talking to the men there, completely oblivious to the way they look at her, or how fucking alone she is in a very likely dangerous situation.
One of the patients I recognize from work is there, and he’s telling her, “Cora, I’ve told you before it’s not safe to be down here by yourself.” As I’m finding my way down to where she is standing, I interrupt. “I agree.”
5
Cora
“What are you doing here?” I ask, surprised.
He doesn’t answer. In fact, he responds with a question of his own. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
