by Amy Cross
She shakes her head.
“I will,” I say firmly. “She's my daughter too, and -”
“She hates you!” she sneers. “Do you still not understand that, James? Ramsey despises you with every bone in her body, and the sight of you will literally make her sick! I'm sorry I have to say this to you, I thought by now you'd accepted that you're a waste of fucking space.” She pauses. “And no matter how hard it is for you to hear this from me, don't you think it'll be a thousand times harder if you stick around and hear them coming from Ramsey's own mouth? Because let me tell you, her feelings about you haven't mellowed at all since the last time you spoke to her. If anything, she hates you more than ever.”
The anger in her eyes is the same anger I saw all those years ago.
“Emma -”
“Everything I'm saying to you,” she adds, interrupting me, “Ramsey will say the same when she wakes up. Do you really want to stick around and wait to hear that?”
I hesitate for a moment, before turning and heading toward the door. Maybe she's right, maybe -
“Buddy was right about you,” she adds suddenly. “Whatever else he might be, Buddy's a good reader of men, and he was absolutely right when he warned me about you.”
I stop and turn to her.
“Buddy warned you about me?” I ask, feeling a sense of cold shock in my chest.
“It was about six months after the incident with Mikey Cane,” she continues, and now her voice is trembling with barely-suppressed rage. “Back when your drinking was first getting out of control. Buddy came to the house and told me I needed to take Ramsey and leave. I'd already been thinking about it, and he made me see that it was the only choice. He said you'd make a great sheriff but a lousy father and husband. And he was right. So don't stand there thinking that you can suddenly turn it around and heal things with Ramsey, because you can't. Some fuck-ups are permanent, James.”
I want to tell her that I'm not giving up, that I'm going to come back later, but instead I turn and head out of the room. My gut is spitting sharp little barbs up into my chest and I feel like I might be about to collapse all over again.
Once I'm out in the corridor, I turn and watch as Emma plants a gentle kiss on Ramsey's forehead. I guess it was dumb of me to think that the passage of time might have calmed things in any way. Clearly Emma hates me more than ever, and Ramsey's probably going to feel exactly the same way when she wakes up. If anything, my presence would probably make this whole experience even worse, so Emma's probably right when she says I should keep away.
I'll come back later and sit with Ramsey for a little longer. Just to see her again, and to be near her. But as soon as there's any sign of her waking up, I'll leave, so she doesn't have to deal with seeing me again.
Telling myself that the best thing I can do for Ramsey is to get on with my work, and that I can send Hinch or someone else to talk to her once she wakes up, I make my way toward the elevators. Already, the pain in my gut is starting to rise once again, but at least I know I've made the right decision. Ramsey doesn't need me around. All she needs is for whoever did this to her, and whoever killed Leanne, to get dragged into a jail cell. At least I can do that.
Forty-One
Esther
Two days earlier
“Leanne!” Ramsey gasps, suddenly opening her eyes and starting to sit up, before letting out a pained groan and rolling onto her side. “Fuck! What the...”
I watch from a few feet away, huddled at the entrance to the little cave beneath the outcrop. I don't think Ramsey has noticed me yet, and for the next few seconds she seems to be in too much pain to move. At least the fire is burning properly now, and when I reach out I find that her clothes are almost dry.
I wait, and now Ramsey seems to be struggling to get her breath back. She has her back to me as she looks out toward the forest.
“Leanne?” she shouts. “Are you here?”
There's no reply, of course. There's only the rustle of the trees as an afternoon breeze blows over us.
“Damn it,” Ramsey whispers, trying but failing to sit up. She struggles for a moment longer, before letting out a pained gasp and slumping back down.
And still she doesn't notice me.
It's almost as if I'm invisible.
For the next few minutes, I watch in silence as Ramsey struggles to sit up properly. She's clearly in pain, and she lets out a few muttered curses, but she never once turns and glances back toward me. I guess she's still confused, and trying to figure out how she ended up here, although finally she looks up at her drying clothes and hesitates for a moment.
“Leanne?” she calls out again, a little more tentatively this time. “Are you -”
Suddenly she turns and looks at me, and her eyes immediately widen with fear.
“It's okay,” I tell her. “I pulled you out of the river. I brought you here.”
Her eyes widen even more.
“You're safe,” I continue, holding my hands up so she can see I'm unarmed. “I won't hurt you, I promise!”
She stares at me, as if I'm the most horrific things she's ever seen in her life. I guess I can't really blame her. After all, I've spent so long down in those tunnels, hiding away from the world, and I probably look pretty hideous. I know I'll look okay again once I go home, once I'm put back to how I used to be, but right now I'm sure I seem completely awful. Without even thinking, I pull back slightly, hoping that the shadows might hide me, and then I place my hands over my face.
“You fell,” I explain. “Do you remember that? You fell into the river, but I found you. I hung your clothes up to dry, but you're actually not too badly hurt. I think your ankle might be damaged, but apart from that -”
Suddenly she turns and starts clambering away, out into the open. I instinctively grab her arm and pull her back, but she starts struggling and finally I have to pin her down against the cold rocks.
“Where do you think you're going?” I hiss. “Do you think you can run away? That's not how it works! We've found you now, and you have to come back with me! Come on, be smart about this!”
“Leave me alone!” she yells, trying to push me away before turning and looking out toward the forest. “Help!” she screams. “Somebody help me! I've been kidnapped!”
“No-one can hear you,” I reply, keeping her pinned down. “Do you realize how far we are from town right now? Even the nearest road is more than ten miles away!”
Still struggling, she tries to kick me away, but I'm too strong for her.
“Help!” she screams, her voice echoing slightly in the vast forest. “Help me!”
“You're just wasting energy,” I continue, frustrated but also a little impressed by her refusal to stop fighting. “If you'll calm down for two seconds, I can explain! I might even -”
Before I can finish, she manages to get a lucky hit, slamming her knees against my chest and sending me thudding back. Momentarily stunned, I watch as she turns and tries once again to run, and this time I barely have time to grab her ankle. She lets out a cry of pain as she falls, and as I squeeze my grip on her flesh I realize that it's the damaged ankle that I grabbed. I can even feel the fractured bone beneath her flesh, but I don't dare risk letting go just yet, so I simply continue to hold her as she screams and wriggles and tries to drag herself away.
Finally I grab her by the leg and haul her closer, at which point she turns and stares at me again with those large, terrified eyes.
“Do you even remember me?” I ask, pressing my arm against her neck and pinning her to the floor. “I tried to help you, back in the tunnels, but you lied to me. That was a really big mistake, Ramsey. How am I supposed to make the right choices when you lie?”
“I don't know what you're talking about!” she gasps, trying in vain to push me away. “I don't know who you are!”
“I found you in the tunnels,” I remind her. “You were in trouble, and I was going to try to lead you out, but then you saw the witch and I realized you'd been lying t
o me from the start! If you hadn't lied to me, none of this would have happened!”
She opens her mouth to reply, but at the last moment she holds back.
“That woman,” she whispers finally, “in the... What the hell was all of that?”
“At least you remember,” I mutter, loosening my grip on her neck and leg just slightly, while remaining poised to grab her again if she makes another bid for freedom. “I was starting to worry the fall had messed your head up. You really made a whole series of bad decisions back there in those tunnels, Ramsey, all one after the other. If I hadn't shown up when I did, there's no way you'd have made it out. Then again...”
Pausing for a moment, I stare at her, and I can't help wondering if there's been some kind of mistake. After all, this terrified, foolish girl can't possibly be the whore we've been waiting for. It's just not possible. At the same time, I can't deny the truth about what happened back in the tunnels, when the marker on her flesh failed to protect her and she saw the witch's real body. There's no way she should have been able to see the witch, not unless she really is the whore. Once again, I feel a flutter of excitement in the put of my belly, as I realize that this might all be over soon.
I might get to go home.
“What?” she asks after a moment. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“How did you get down there?” I ask.
“Into the tunnels?” She pauses, and it's very clear from the look in her eyes that she doesn't fully trust me yet. “A madman was chasing me and my friend. I have to get back to town and make sure she's okay. She probably made it back this morning, and the police are probably all over that farm. They're probably looking for me.”
“Maybe,” I reply, although deep down I find it hard to believe that her friend could have escaped. Most likely, she was caught by the hunter and then she was cut up so he could search her body for the marker. I realized a while back that the devil had lured another maniac into the forest, and I've made sure to keep well clear of his operations. “The search is over now,” I continue. “When I was trying to get you out of the tunnels, it was because I thought you weren't supposed to be there. Now I know you are the whore, my job is different. I have to take you back.”
“Back?” she asks. “To the tunnels? Are you serious?”
“He'll be waiting for you.”
“Who is?”
“It's difficult to explain,” I tell her.
“Do you mean that thing I saw? The thing in the tunnels?”
“That's just the guardian,” I continue. “He was put in place a long time ago, to guard the witch. Maybe he's been mistaken for the devil once or twice, but he's not really the devil at all. He's just a dumb oaf. The real devil is out there in the forest, waiting for the right moment. He'll know that you're finally here, he'll realize that the time is almost right. And that's why I have to take you back to the tunnels, so that the devil can meet you.”
I wait for her to reply, for her to admit that I'm right, but instead she's staring at me as if I'm insane.
“Don't you feel it?” I continue. “Deep down? Can't you tell that you were supposed to end up here?”
“My father's the local sheriff,” she replies cautiously.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do with it. Do you have any idea what he's going to do when he realizes that I'm in trouble? He'll call in help from every agency in the country to find me! I don't know what you think you're doing here, but you've really, really picked the wrong girl to kidnap, okay? You couldn't have picked a worse person!”
“Kidnap?” I reply. “I'm not sure what you mean.”
“Are you working with him?” she asks. “The crazy guy with the truck, is he somehow part of this?”
“You might be referring to one of the searchers,” I explain. “The devil trained some people from above-ground to assist him in his hunt for the whore. One of them was a madman, many years ago, and when that failed the devil switched his attention to the madman's brother and used him instead. I warned him, I told him the two brothers were mentally unstable, but he said that was what made it easier for him to get into their minds. And then the other above-grounder he enlisted was...”
My voice trails off for a moment.
“Well, it was me,” I add finally, “although I'm not crazy, not like those others. I'm smart.”
Again, I wait for a reply, but again she's eyeing me with suspicion.
“You think I'm smart, don't you?” I ask.
Still, she simply stares at me.
“I know I'm not pretty,” I tell her. “I'll be pretty again when this is all over, but at least I'm smart. Aren't I?”
“You're insane,” she replies. “You're out of your goddamn mind.”
“Don't make this any harder than it has to be,” I continue. “Your clothes are almost dry, so put them on. Then I can take you back to the tunnels, back to the witch's chamber, and I'm sure the devil will show up. And then he can explain what he wants from you.”
She stares at me for a few seconds, before grabbing her clothes and starting to get dressed. She seems to be hurrying, which I guess means that she finally understands her destiny. For a moment there, I was actually starting to worry that she might resist. At least she's come around to my way of thinking.
“Now I can be free,” I tell her, feeling a flash of relief. “You've got no idea how long I spent in those tunnels, trying to keep the witch under control. That was the main job he assigned me, after he dragged me down there. I was just a little girl back then, and the witch had only just been captured. He'd placed the wood through her body so that she'd be unable to use her magic to get free, and he needed someone to guard her while he was away in other parts of the forest. So one day, when there was a car accident, he ventured out and dragged me down into the depths. I screamed so much, but he quickly sewed me shut and made me understand the importance of my role. Now I can be free again. I can go back to how I was when he found me. He promised to let me go when all of this was over.”
For a moment, I'm lost in thought as I imagine how it'll feel to emerge from captivity and go back to my old life. I'll find my parents again, and they'll be so relieved to see me. I wonder how they've changed since I've been gone.
“What year is it?” I ask finally.
“What?” She's still scrambling to get dressed.
“What's the year?” I ask again.
“Are you serious?” She glances at me. “It's 2016.”
I immediately start laughing. “Don't be a fool,” I tell her. “Come on, be honest. What's the year?”
“What year do you think it is?”
“Well, I know I've been down in the tunnels for a while,” I continue. “I lost track of exactly how long, but it's definitely been a year or two. So I don't know, but maybe the year is 1998, or even 1999?”
I wait for a reply, but she simply stares at me.
“It's not the year 2000, is it?” I ask, feeling a flutter of concern. “Please, don't tell me I've been down there for that long! I was just a little girl when I was taken. I've grown since then.”
“You're either insane,” she replies, “or you're trying to mess with my head, but either way, I'm out of here.”
With that, she turns and scrambles past the fire and back out into the open. I hurry after her, almost losing my footing in the process, and I make sure to stay close as she starts climbing over the rocks next to the river.
“Do you know the way?” I ask. “I should go in front, so you don't get lost.”
“Just point me to the nearest road,” she stammers, sounding a little breathless. “I can find my way to town from there.”
“Town?” I reply, shocked by the suggestion. “Why would you want to go there? Your destiny is waiting for you, but it's in the tunnels.”
“You've got to be kidding.”
“You can't go back to the town!” I continue, as we get past the rocks and onto the grassy riverb
ank. “He won't accept that, not after you've been so close. He's -”
Before I can finish, I feel a sudden burning sensation in my gut. I step forward, but my right leg buckles and I drop to my knees as something hot and heavy shifts violently beneath my shirt. Looking down, I see thick red blood already oozing through the fabric, glistening in the midday sun. There's so much blood, some is already dripping down onto the rocks around my knees. At the same time, thousands of tiny little scraps of shattered glass are forcing their way out from cuts all over my chest.
“Esther?” Ramsey says cautiously, staring at me with a hint of horror in her eyes. “What's happening to you?”
“Not now,” I whimper, lifting my shirt to reveal a huge, bloody split that has begun to re-open in my belly. With tears in my eyes, I realize he's going back on our agreement. “No!” I scream, filled with rage. “You can't do this! You promised me I'd get to go home!”
Forty-Two
Sheriff James Kopperud
Today
The little black gate won't open properly, no matter how many times I try to lift the latch. Of course, I can't see a goddamn thing out here in the dark, so after trying the latch a couple more times I swing my leg over and clamber unsteadily into the garden.
And of course at the last moment, I lose my footing and fall, slamming hard against the stone path and letting out a gasp in the process.
“Buddy!” I yell, wincing a little as I struggle to my feet. “Buddy, where the hell are you?”
I stumble along the path, and I can't help smiling as soon as I spot a familiar silhouette on the porch. It might be late, but I know damn well that Buddy always sits up to midnight, watching the world go by and drinking a beer. Well, that's what he does when he's not having another of his dementia-driven moments. When he has one of those, God only knows what he might get up to, but evidently tonight he's right where I expected to find him. And as I make my way to the steps, I feel a fist tightening in my gut.
