“You know I don’t. But you’ve only been here a month and here we are crossing paths already. Did you really think you could just come back and pick up your life again and not expect to bump into me? Or did you come back for just that purpose?”
“I didn’t come back here to see you, Regan,” he said quietly. “But I must admit I’m not sorry that I have.”
“Then why?” Her heart was hammering.
“I like it here,” he shrugged. “It’s the first place in my whole life that ever felt like home.”
She threw his notes down, anger bubbling up inside her. How dare he come back now? How dare he break his promise that she would never have to see him again? Didn’t he have any idea how much it hurt?
“Regan,” he said, the gentleness of his voice slicing chunks out of her. “It’s been six years. I thought maybe you’d moved on by now. I certainly hope you have.”
Six years. Then why did it suddenly feel like six minutes? Six minutes since he went away and her life came crumbling down. Six minutes since he turned his stubborn back and left her. But she’d moved on all right. He had no idea just how much she’d moved on.
“Discharge yourself, Bram,” she said, all brisk efficiency and not a hint of the turmoil inside. “I’ll get Karen to bring you the form to sign yourself out of here. Your scan was clear, but you know what to look out for. Come back if you have any reason to worry.”
“Thanks,” he winked at her and scrambled her insides.
“Yes, well – thank me once you’re in the clear. If you collapse and die ten minutes after you get home, don’t come complaining to me.”
“I won’t,” he grinned.
She smiled. Despite everything, she smiled. Couldn’t help herself. She left on shaky legs and stopped outside to get her breath back. He hadn’t seemed at all fazed to see her. In fact, she might just have been any other face from his past. Was that all she was to him? A reminder of the past? Probably, she decided, he obviously didn’t think they had been that important or he wouldn’t have come back. And she could excuse him that because after all, he didn’t have the daily reminder of their child to keep the memories fresh.
“Well?” Karen asked when she emerged from Resus. “Did you work your usual magic?”
“He needs a discharge form,” Regan said stiffly. “And probably a taxi.” But then she saw Len waiting, legs sprawled out, head back, eyes closed. “Maybe not the taxi. It seems his ride home is covered.”
“Does he realise..?” Karen began.
“He knows the score,” Regan said. She checked her watch. Still a while to go before she had to be back with Georgie.
“You sound as if you know him,” Karen said, unsettling Regan with the intensity of her gaze.
“I know a lost cause when I see one,” Regan replied airily and made her way over to the lifeboat man. “Hey, Len,” she said, shaking the big man’s shoulder. “Len. Wake up.”
“What? Hey! Regan!” He grinned up at her, then the grin faded and he chewed on his lower lip. “Regan… Oh heck.”
“You didn’t tell me he was back, Len,” she said accusingly.
“I didn’t?”
“You were in here less than a week ago when I stitched your hand. How long did that take? How long were we talking?” She looked towards the ceiling. “Let me see, you told me about your nephew’s new quad bike and how good the fishing’s been this year and how you’d had to get the brakes fixed on your Toyota, but at no point did you think to mention that my ex was back in town.”
“I meant to,” he said, swallowing hard. “I just… I was waiting for the right time and it never seemed to come up and besides, it all happened years ago, and… You know people have short memories. I thought maybe if nothing was said that you and he might…”
“You’re not making any sense at all, Len,” she said. “Are you sure you didn’t bash your head too?”
She didn’t see much of Len, but he knew about Georgie and although she’d never confirmed it to anyone, everyone that knew her and Bram must have figured it out pretty quickly. It was only a matter of time till Bram found out the truth.
“I seem to remember telling you the lifeboat was out of bounds for a fortnight, Len. At least until the stitches were out – which they aren’t,” she added. “What is it with you guys? You risk your necks saving other people, but won’t take care of yourselves?”
“Are you talking about me now – or are you still talking about Bram?” Len asked sheepishly.
“He’ll be ready to go home in a minute,” she said wearily, damping down her anger. No use taking it out on Len. Poor guy. Wasn’t his fault. “Keep an eye on him though, Len.”
“Yeah, sure.” He ran his hand through his spiky grey hair. “Regan, it has to be done, love. If it weren’t for people like us – like Bram, willing to take a little risk, then people would die. That little girl might have died. I didn’t want him going over that cliff tonight, but there was no other way. We could have waited for the fire brigade, but they were out in force attending a massive chemical leak. And a big wave could have had her in the oggin if Bram hadn’t got to her when he did.”
Oh the irony of that! Her child – their child - might have died if not for Bram doing the very job she’d begged him to give up.
“At least he wasn’t out on the water with the rest of us,” Len added as if that would make the slightest difference.
Regan shook her head. She knew she had been unreasonable six years ago, but she’d acted purely out of fear. Fear of losing him and she’d lost him anyway. If she had that time back would she do things differently? Probably. But could she have lived with that gnawing fear that she might lose him in the most tragic of circumstances, especially once they had a child?
“I have to go,” she said. “Goodnight, Len.”
“Any luck tracing the kid’s mother?”
“Why is it always the mother with you guys, huh?” she said. “Never the father.”
She walked away from him shaking her head just as the doors were flung open and Lally Shires rushed in, straight over to Regan where she burst into tears.
Len looked about ready to say something, so Regan led Lally away, well away. She didn’t want to be anywhere near Len or Bram, not tonight, not ever, not after this.
“She’s all right, Lally,” Regan said. “Broke her arm, gashed her head, but she’s okay.”
“But you’re not okay! I can see you’ve been crying,” Lally wept, clutching at Regan’s hand. Her shoulder length grey hair was like a cloud around her face. “I’m so sorry, Regan. I swear I didn’t know she’d gone out.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Regan smiled, rubbing Lally's back as she spoke. True she’d been as mad as hell at first, but there was no point apportioning blame now. It wouldn’t change anything. “If you knew, you’d have stopped her.”
“I dozed off for a while after she went to bed,” Lally explained. “Then when I woke up, I made myself a coffee and then I realised Bonnie wasn’t around. Is Georgie really going to be all right, Regan?”
Okay, now more alarm bells were ringing. “What about Bonnie, Lally? Did you find her?”
“I checked she wasn’t outside, then I thought maybe she’d gone up and climbed on Georgie’s bed and that’s when I realised Georgie had gone… well not straight away because I checked the bathroom and then the phone rang and it was you and oh, Regan, I’m so so sorry. If that dear little girl had died because of me…”
Regan gritted her teeth. “Lally, what about Bonnie?”
“Bonnie?” Lally looked at her through a blur of tears. “I don’t know. She must have gone out when Georgie did. Oh, Regan, you don’t think..?”
Regan didn’t have time to think. She ran back to reception in time to see Len and Bram disappearing out the door, Bram walking with that stiff, hurt gait she’d seen so often before.
Bonnie was still out there somewhere. What if she’d gone over the cliff too? She was a clever dog – no calling her clever
was an injustice. She was more than clever. She was perceptive and loving and she hadn’t a mean bone in her body and if it hadn’t been for Bonnie, there were plenty of times Regan might have fallen apart. She sprinted for the doors.
“Len,” she shouted as the doors opened and the wind blasted cold rain into her face. “Bram!”
“I’m not changing my mind, Regan,” Bram said, turning, looking at her through silver needles pounding down from the sky. “I’m not readmitting myself under any circumstances.”
“My dog,” she croaked. “Georgie’s dog …”
Both men looked at each other then back at Regan. Neither had heard her correctly, but at least she’d got their attention.
“Did you say something about a dog, Regan?” Bram said. “Where? What?”
He was walking back towards her. He looked so big and tough, but a lot of that was the jacket wasn’t it? He towered over her. How could she have forgotten how tall he was? How big and strong and indestructible. Yet she knew only too well that he wasn’t indestructible. He was flesh and blood and as vulnerable as any other human being. She looked up at him hoping her tears would mingle with the rain and become invisible. Could this night get any worse?
“What dog, Regan?”
“Georgie’s dog,” she said, licking rain from her lips, blinking it out of her eyelashes. “She’s a black and white Springer spaniel, same age as Georgie – they grew up together. She’s still out there somewhere. You have to find her, Bram.”
“Get back inside, Regan,” Bram said, clamping a wet hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. “You’re getting soaked and your patients won’t appreciate you dripping all over them. We’ll do a search for the dog – what did you say her name was?”
“I didn’t,” Regan said. “It’s Bonnie.”
“We’ll find her,” Bram said in a tone that left her in no doubt that he would.
“A dog missing you say?” Len had come back to join them and caught the tail end of the conversation. “I’ll find her, Bram. You’re going home. Doctor’s orders. I’ll rustle up some of the lads and we’ll do a search. Tell the little girl not to worry, Regan, we’ll find her dog for her. Did I hear you right? Did you say it was Georgie in there? And isn’t Bonnie your..?”
She flashed him a look and shook her head and Len’s lips tightened. He’d obviously heard more than she realised. Bram was already walking away.
“Georgie?” Len whispered. “Jesus!”
“Don’t say anything to him, Len. Not until I’ve had a chance to talk to him.”
Len nodded and squeezed her arm.
“We’ll find her, love,” he said.
She hurried back inside and Karen waved her through.
“Go on up to be with Georgie,” she said. “We’ll manage down here. Come back once she’s settled for the night, okay?”
“Thanks, Karen.”
“You okay?”
Regan nodded, but she couldn’t get Bonnie out of her mind. What if she was lying injured somewhere? The thought of that sweet dog in pain and afraid was more than she could bear. But she had to hide those feelings, push them back and keep them away otherwise Georgie, no matter how drowsy she was after the operation, would see right through her.
CHAPTER FOUR
“It makes sense,” Bram said as he strode up the hill towards the cliff, ignoring Len’s protests and the pain in his back. The pain relief they’d given him at the hospital had started to kick in and he was walking easier. “I’m a vet. If you find the dog and its hurt, which it most probably will be, you’re going to need me here.”
They were forming a line along the edge, torchlight beams flashing in the darkness, lighting up the rods of driving rain.
“Don’t try to kid me,” Len said. “This has nothing to do with the dog and everything to do with Regan.”
Regan’s face flashed into his mind. Not the face that had haunted him for the past six years, that young pretty elfin face with its frame of closely cropped dark hair, but the face that had looked at him tonight through the splintery rain.
She’d changed. Boy how she’d changed. Her face was still pretty, but her hair was longer now, long enough to be tied back in a dark ponytail and her cheekbones seemed more defined. If anything she was more beautiful than he remembered, her lips seemed fuller, her eyes darker, deeper as if something more was hidden behind them. She looked as if she’d been crying, but why? Because of him? No, she’d been surprised to see him, but not upset enough to cry.
He couldn’t define what the difference was, just that there seemed to be more to Regan than there was before, much more.
But then, six years was a long time. She could be married by now. She could have kids. That would explain her rounder figure. He could just see her surrounded by little miniature Regans – in fact that’s how he used to see her, except in those days there had been miniature Brams there too. They’d talked about having kids – loads of kids.
“It has nothing to do with Regan,” Bram said firmly. “Believe me – Regan and I were finished a long time ago. It’s the dog that concerns me, Len.”
The guys were shouting the dog’s name, but if she’d gone over the cliff there wasn’t much hope for her. How did a kid and her dog come to be wandering about on the cliff at night Bram wondered again? It would be up to the medical staff at the hospital whether to involve social services, but it was something that should be investigated.
He turned his thoughts to the dog. Springers were pretty robust dogs, plenty of stamina and pretty smart too despite their scatty reputation. If she had got herself into some kind of hole, she’d probably be trying to get herself out of it.
He cupped his hands round his mouth and joined in the shouting, but he still didn’t hold out much hope, not if she’d gone over the side. And that sweet little girl would have to learn to cope with losing her best friend, possibly her only friend on top of everything else.
Georgie was awake and thankfully not in pain. She had a plaster cast on her arm and a neat row of six stitches on her scalp. Considering what she’d been through, Georgie was remarkably cheerful, but then she always had been a resilient child.
She took after Bram for her ability to bounce back.
“You’re going to need to get back to sleep,” Regan said after sitting with her for a while. “And I have to finish my shift. I’ll come back and have breakfast with you, okay? Oh, and by the way…”
She hesitated. She’d been worried about how to bring up the subject of Bonnie without upsetting Georgie. There were plenty of other questions to be asked, like what on earth was she doing creeping out at night like that for a start and why go to the cliffs, but right now there was just one question that needed urgently to be asked.
“Yes?” Georgie looked up at her, eyes still heavy.
“Did Bonnie go with you this evening?”
A flash of fear passed through Georgie’s eyes, but tiredness was taking over.
“Georgie?”
“Yes,” Georgie said sleepily, her little mouth framing a yawn. “But I told her to go home. I didn’t want her to get hurt.”
“Then you realised what you were doing was dangerous?” Regan whispered.
“I didn’t mean to fall, Mummy,” Georgie’s eyes grew heavy.
Regan leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Night, night, darling,” she whispered. “I’ll see you later.”
She stood beside the bed looking down at her sleeping daughter. “There’s something else, Georgie Tyler,” she whispered. “Something you’re not telling me. What is it?”
She hadn’t a clue what it could be, but it worried her.
Back in the department, Josie met Regan with a big smile on her face.
“You’ll never guess what I found,” she said and pulled back a curtain. There was Stanley, sprawled out on the bed fast asleep still wrapped in his wet raincoat.
“Oh, lord, I forgot all about him,” Regan said. “Has Mike definitely gone?”
“Yes, don
’t worry,” Josie laughed. “As soon as he’d finished with Georgie he left the hospital. What do you want me to do about Stanley?”
“Leave him to sleep,” Regan said. “I’ll wake him an hour or so before the day shift arrives and give him a quick check over, then we’ll send him over to Larry’s with enough money for a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich for his breakfast. He’ll be long gone by the time Mike comes back on duty. I don’t suppose anyone has called about Bonnie?”
“By anyone you mean Bram,” Josie said. “No, I’m sorry, there’s no news. But no news is good news, Regan.”
Regan wasn’t so sure. She bit hard on her lip. It was bad enough knowing what Georgie had been through, but at least now she was safe and still in one piece. She was terrified that somewhere out there on this wild, stormy night, Bonnie was alone and frightened and suffering. Bonnie had a terror of thunderstorms and fireworks and any loud noises. The roaring wind would be absolutely terrifying for her.
“I bet it was weird seeing him again,” Josie said. “I mean it felt pretty strange for me, but you were practically engaged to the guy and he’s Georgie’s father.”
“Don’t say it,” Regan cried. “Someone might hear.”
“But don’t you think it’s kind of spooky? I mean him being there to save Georgie – he’d have held her in his arms and not even realised he was holding his own child.”
Josie’s face took on a dreamy expression as if it was a wonderful thing that had happened – a reunion between father and daughter with both unaware that it was happening.
“That’s enough, Josie,” Regan said sharply, then smiled to take the edge off her words. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to complicate matters. Bram mustn’t find out.”
Josie shook her head. “Oh, Regan,” she said. “Of course he’s going to find out. Sooner or later he’s going to bump into someone who knows you both and he’s going to be told – and then what? As for complicating matters, didn’t you do that when you found out you were pregnant and chose not to let him know?”
Dangerous Love Page 3
