And they saw nothing wrong in it! It was the way they were. Regan’s birth was unplanned and unwelcome and while Georgie’s birth was unplanned, she had wanted the baby with all her heart and soul from the minute she knew she was there.
How could she risk chasing Bram and telling him he was about to become a father? They’d made a clean break. They’d agreed to split up. He might have ended up feeling trapped and ultimately, Georgie would have been the one to suffer. And no child should ever feel unwanted.
No, she thought, I did nothing wrong. I did what I thought was right.
Georgie offered her the biscuit tin and she took one. Then she offered it to Bram.
“Thanks, honey,” he said and winked, making the little girl giggle.
Hah, charm on legs, Regan thought, but when he looked her way, his smile vanished and his eyes hardened.
This time she didn’t feel swamped with guilt and she held his gaze. Two could play at this game. She lifted her chin and his eyebrows rose fractionally. If he wanted to turn this into a fight, fine!
As soon as Lally saw Regan coming, she knew something terrible had happened. She looked as if she’d been crying again. But Georgie was bouncing along at her side, arm in a sling, happy as Larry.
“What’s up?” she called out.
Georgie rushed over, full of herself.
“I’ve been out on a boat and saw the seals and Uncle Len let me use his binoculars and I saw a big boat and we had our photos taken…”
“Steady on, don’t forget to breathe,” Lally laughed.
“We made tea for Mummy and Bram and Bram’s got hundreds of dogs and they went for a walk on the beach and Bram was cross and Mummy was waving her arms about…”
Regan nearly choked. “What’s that, Miss?” she said.
“I saw you. And Uncle Len said it was a dirty rotten shame.”
“What was?” Regan seemed perilously close to cracking up. Her voice had gone very shrill.
“I don’t know,” Georgie shrugged.
“Come in,” Lally said. “I’ll put the kettle on. I think you need to tell me what’s been going on.”
“Georgie just did,” Regan said with a sigh. “We went down to the lifeboat station.”
“Yes, I know that. I want to hear the rest. I want to know what’s a dirty rotten shame.”
“Everything,” Regan sighed.
“Look at my cast,” Georgie said. “Everyone wrote on it, even the lady from the newspaper?”
“Wow, that’s great, Georgie. You’ll be able to keep that forever, like an autograph book, but on a cast.”
“What’s an autograph book?”
Lally laughed. “Oh, it’s something we all used to have when I was young. You’d get all your friends to write messages in it and sometimes if you were lucky, you’d see someone famous and get them to put their name in too. I got Cliff Richard. I had such a big crush on him.”
“What’s a crush?”
Regan was laughing now too. “Keep digging, Lally,” she said. “You’re getting yourself in deeper and deeper.”
“I have an idea,” Lally said. “Follow me, Georgie.”
She went into her kitchen and took a box of dry cat food down from the shelf.
“Do me a favour and shake this about a bit round the garden, there’s a good girl. See if you can get my cats home.”
“Okay!”
Georgie bounded out the back door and began to patrol the garden, shaking the box.
“Let’s hope my cats are chasing rats over at Brook’s Farm,” Lally said. “The longer she’s out there, the better. So what’s going on, Regan?”
“Bram found out today that he’s Georgie’s father.”
Lally’s jaw dropped. “How? Did you tell him?”
“No. It came out at the lifeboat station in front of about a dozen people. It was awful, Lally.”
Lally covered her mouth with her hand. “Awful? I should think it was. How did he take it? Judging by the look on your face, not well.”
“I should have told him. It was stupid trying to wait for the right time, because there’s never a right time to tell someone something like that is there? He feels betrayed, humiliated, hurt. Oh God, Lally, so hurt.”
“But Georgie still doesn’t know?”
“I don’t think it’s going to be any easier telling her to be honest.”
Lally looked out of the window. Two of her cats had appeared and were following Georgie round the garden.
“But what can I do, Lally? I can’t turn back the clock. And now I have to accept that he wants to be in Georgie’s life.”
She paced up and down until she made Lally feel dizzy.
“He wants me to give up work or at least cut my hours so I can spend more time with Georgie.”
Lally stifled a cheer and nodded. “That makes sense.” Regan worked far too hard. It would be brilliant if she could spend more time at home with Georgie.
“What? Whose side are you on?”
“How many times have you said you wished you didn’t have to work nights?” Lally reminded her.
“I know…”
“This could be a good thing, love,” Lally said, rubbing Regan’s back as she spoke. It was a comforting, motherly gesture. “Look on the positive side. This can only be good for Georgie.”
“Until he kills himself.”
“That’s unlikely,” Lally said. “I know what he does is dangerous, but…”
“You sound like him.”
“Just saying it like it is, Regan. She’s coming back.”
Lally opened the back door and Georgie entered followed by four cats.
“Let’s give them some food, then we’ll have a drink and you can tell me all about your day.”
Regan sat down and gazed out of the window. Any hopes she’d had of a reconciliation with Bram had blown out of the window. She couldn’t see him ever forgiving her for this and in all honesty, she didn’t blame him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The following day Regan answered a knock at the door and found Bram standing in the porch.
“How did you..?”
“I know your dog’s address even if you refused to give me yours,” he said. “Hey, Bonnie…”
Traitorous hound rushed into his arms and he picked her up while she wiggled and squirmed and licked all over his face.
“At least someone’s pleased to see me,” he said.
“Bram!” Georgie squealed and he put the dog down and picked up the little girl.
“Oh, for goodness sake,” Regan muttered. “You’d better come in.”
There was no choice in the matter. As soon as he put Georgie down, she clasped his hand and dragged him into the cosy sitting room. He looked around. There were pictures of Georgie everywhere.
He picked one up of her as a baby and Regan gulped down the lump in her throat when she saw tears shimmering in his eyes.
“She was a lovely baby,” she said, taking the photo from him and putting it back down.
“She looks it,” he said gruffly. “I bet you felt very proud when you pushed her round in her pram didn’t you?”
“Yes, I…” She sighed. “I’ve said I’m sorry. I don’t know what more you expect from me.”
“Can Bram stay for tea, Mummy?”
“No,” Regan said.
“I’d love to,” he countered and sat himself down in the armchair, crossing his long legs and making himself completely at home.
“But you have evening surgery, right?” Regan said.
“Wrong. I’m all finished for the day and I happen to be starving.”
The nerve of him. Inviting himself to dinner. Or rather allowing himself to be invited. He didn’t have to accept, but he had, so now her task was to get dinner cooked and over and done with as soon as possible.
“What about your dogs?” she said. “They’ll be all alone.”
“They have each other and besides, I took them for a good run earlier. Don’t worry, Regan, everything
is under control.”
“I’m not worried,” she said and stormed into the kitchen.
As she clattered about preparing dinner, she could hear Bram and Georgie chatting and laughing. She was glad they were getting on so well. It meant when they did start sorting out access, Georgie would be able to spend time with him on her own.
It would be nice for Georgie to have a man in her life. And she already loved Bram and she was certainly safe with him. The sooner Regan told their daughter the truth, the better.
“Lally, right?” Len said when he saw the woman standing at her front gate looking anxiously across the road at Regan’s house. He saw the cause for her concern. Bram’s car was parked outside. “Oh, dear. I was going to pop in and see her, but perhaps I’d best not,” he said.
“Len isn’t it?” she said and her face broke into a smile. Her grey hair was caught back in a loose ponytail and when she smiled, her face instantly lost ten years. He’d seen her around town, but never before realised how attractive she was.
“Glad to meet you properly at last.” He grinned back and held out his hand. “You’ve been a great friend to Regan and she’s really needed a friend these past few years.”
“Why don’t you come in?” Lally said.
“Are you sure? I was just planning to see if Regan was okay, but I don’t think I should if she has company.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” she said. “Wondering whether I should pop over. They have a lot to talk about.”
“They certainly do.”
Len wondered how much Lally knew about the situation.
“I hope things work out for them,” she said. “They’d make such a lovely couple.”
“They used to,” Len said. “Everyone was amazed when they broke up. It seemed so wrong then and it still seems wrong now. They should be together. It was meant to be, but frankly the way they’re behaving I can’t see it happening.”
He followed her into the house, sat down on the sofa and almost at once a ginger cat jumped on his lap.
“You don’t mind cats do you?”
“Not in the least.”
“Good,” she said and she gave him a ravishing smile. “So what are we going to do about Bram and Regan?”
“Do?” Len said. “Nothing we can do except be around to pick up the pieces when it all blows apart.”
“Or throw confetti when they see sense and get married,” Lally rejoindered.
Len threw back his head and laughed. “You’re a real cup half full kind of person aren’t you?” he said.
“Half full?” She winked at him. “What are you talking about? My cup is always full to the brim.”
The longer Bram stayed, the easier it became. He felt at home here, sitting on Regan’s floor playing a game with Georgie while Bonnie draped herself over his lap.
Unfortunately the same couldn’t be said of Regan. She was on edge and nervy. They couldn’t go on like this. Georgie would soon start to sense something was up and the very last thing on his agenda was to upset her. He wanted to be a proper father to her, make up for all the time he’d missed.
He’d helped Regan to wash up and she was in the kitchen now, pottering about, doing anything rather than come through here. If she couldn’t even bear to be in the same room as him, it didn’t bode well for the future.
Suddenly she appeared in the doorway. Her face was white.
“What is it?”
“Your pager… You left it in the kitchen. You’ve had a shout.”
“Thanks.”
He jumped to his feet.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” he said and he stooped to kiss Georgie’s forehead. “I’ve had a brilliant time. Next time you must come to mine and meet my dogs.”
“Can we bring Bonnie?”
“Of course you can. The more the merrier. Bonnie should get to know my lot anyway.”
Regan saw him to the door.
“Bonnie should get to know your lot?” she said. “Why? Are you planning on taking my dog too?”
“What? Who said anything about taking anyone? I just thought if we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, it makes sense that our dogs should meet up too.”
“Okay. Just… be careful, Bram. Georgie’s already lost her best friend; I don’t want her to lose you too.”
As he was leaving, they saw Len rushing out of Lally’s house.
“Hey, Bram,” he yelled. “Can you give me a lift?”
“Sure,” Bram said and moments later they were gone and Lally was hurrying across the road, holding her cardigan tightly around herself.
“Len?” Regan said quizzically.
“Oh, don’t you go reading anything into it. He was on his way to visit you and saw Bram’s car and didn’t want to interrupt, that’s all. I felt sorry for him having walked all the way here, so I made him a cuppa.”
“Hm,” Regan said, stroking her chin. “I see.”
“No, you don’t,” Lally protested. “There’s nothing for you to see. We’ve only just met properly for heaven’s sake.”
“In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you blush before, Lally,” Regan said.
“I’m not,” Lally cried, slapping her hands against her face. “It’s the cold, that’s all. Anyway I came over to see how you are. How did it go? Bram was here for ages. Have you told Georgie?”
“Told me what?” Georgie piped up from behind Regan and Lally bit hard on her lip.
“Oh heck, Regan,” she said. “Sorry. Should have realised little pigs have big ears.”
Georgie burst out laughing. “Grown-ups say weird things,” she said and went back inside.
“I’m going to talk to her now,” Regan said. “I’d planned to anyway. I don’t want her to hear from someone else. You know what kids are like. Someone’s mum or dad will have heard something now the rumour mill is in motion.”
“I’ll leave you to it then,” Lally said. “Good luck.”
“I’m going to need it,” Regan said with a rueful smile.”
“So,” Len said. “You and Regan…”
“There is no me and Regan,” Bram replied through clenched teeth.
“Lally said you’d been there a while.”
“I was visiting my daughter who, by the way, you forgot to tell me about.”
“Wasn’t my place,” Len said. “And besides, I didn’t realise the kid you rescued was Georgie until later.”
“But you did know about her, right? Everyone did, bar me.”
Bram took his eye off the road for a moment and looked at Len.
“Not everyone, Bram,” Len said. “You know Regan. Keeps things close to her chest.”
“Did Dennis know?”
“Probably.”
“I just don’t get why no one told me.”
“Everyone knew you’d split up. And after you broke up, it wouldn’t have seemed right to get you back. You know what Regan’s like. Always been independent and self-sufficient. Had to be. And by the time it became obvious she was pregnant, you were long gone.”
Bram knew he could blame everyone else till the cows came home, but at the bottom of it all, he was the one at fault.
“So,” he said with a grin. “You and Lally…”
“What?” Len said, but he couldn’t stop a smile. “I’ve only just met the woman.”
“She’s lovely,” Bram said. “I like her very much and she’s about your age. Single too I gather.”
“All right,” Len said. “Point taken. I won’t say any more about Regan.”
“It’s a bit different, Len,” Bram said. “There’s nothing to stop you and Lally getting together. Truly, I’m happy for you.”
Georgie looked up at Regan.
“Am I in trouble, Mummy?”
“No, you’re not in trouble. Far from it. But I have something to tell you. Something very important.”
Georgie nodded.
“It’s about your daddy. Remember I told you he was a lifeboatman?”
>
“Like Bram?”
“Exactly like Bram. Well, Mummy and Daddy loved each other very much, but he had to go away. Sweetie, he’s come back and he wants to get to know you.”
“Oh.” Georgie looked thoughtful for a moment. “Is he going to live here with us?”
“He has his own house, darling,” Regan said.
Georgie looked at her with Bram’s eyes.
“Is it Bram?”
Regan couldn’t believe it. How could Georgie have guessed? Had someone already said something? She caught her breath.
“Yes, it is,” she said.
“Oh, good.” A smile lit up Georgie’s face. “I really wished he was my daddy and he is.”
Regan blinked. That had been way too easy. She waited, holding her breath. Something would go wrong here.
“Do you still love him?”
It was impossible to lie.
“Yes,” Regan said.
“And does that mean all his dogs are our dogs too?”
Regan laughed. “Sort of.”
“Yay! Will we go and live with him?”
“No,” Regan answered quickly. “But you will be able to visit him.”
She couldn’t believe how easy that was. If only Bram had taken the news so well.
Regan went to Jay’s funeral alone. It was heart breaking. Katie was completely crushed as if she’d been chewed up and spat out by some monster.
She had requested that Regan should say a few words and it was one of the most difficult things she’d ever had to do.
She’d never felt as alone as she did when she stood at the front of the packed church. Her legs felt weak and she was sure her voice would be thin and shaky, but the words came and she pretended that she was alone in the church with Jay’s mother and her words were just for her.
She spoke of Jay’s friendship with Georgie and how he’d taken the little girl under his wing at school. He was a very special little boy, very kind and thoughtful.
Dangerous Love Page 12
