The horse and cart set off, bearing the mourners and their sad burden. Morcar and Golde picked up their packs. Their frustrated, angry faces spoke as clearly as Golde’s words. “We’ve searched everywhere,” she said. “There’s no sign of Adam, may he rot in hell for all eternity.”
“I’m ready to leave whenever you are,” Janna assured them. They nodded, and set off in the direction that the horse and cart had taken. Janna followed after them, with Ralph on one side of her and Winifred on the other.
“Wherever did you find Bernard’s pack and staff, Janna?” Ralph asked.
“Over there, in that patch of trees.” Janna pointed to the spot they were just passing.
“What made you search there for them?”
Janna shrugged. “His pack wasn’t where we’d all slept, so I wondered if he’d started on his journey after all, but been attacked by Adam before he could get too far along the way.”
“That was very enterprising of you.” Amusement danced in Ralph’s eyes as he commented, “And you’ve won a stout staff as a result of your good deed.”
Not sure if he was making fun of her or not, Janna didn’t reply. Ralph had the alarming capacity to keep her off-balance – she was never quite sure where she stood with him.
“Did you find anything of value among Bernard’s belongings?”
Janna shot him a quick glance. “Are you accusing me of theft?”
“Of course not! I just wondered if Adam had left anything behind that might serve to comfort Dame Juliana in her grief?”
Janna shook her head, not answering.
“I believe I’m right in thinking that Master Bernard was in possession of a message carried by the dead man you encountered outside Wiltune. What has happened to it?”
“I know nothing about the message. Ask Adam – if you can find him!” Janna tilted her chin, trying to control her irritation.
“I beg your pardon, Janna. I didn’t mean to suggest – that is to say…” He gave her a rueful smile. “It’s my cursed curiosity,” he explained. “I cannot resist asking questions, even about things that do not concern me in any way whatsoever.”
Janna nodded, feeling slightly mollified. She knew how it was to be cursed with curiosity. She herself suffered from the same malady. Yet Ralph’s questions had also pricked her conscience. She hated telling lies, although it seemed she was forever having to conceal the truth from him. Surely she could trust him, especially now that the message had disappeared? She opened her mouth, and suddenly heard Bernard’s voice in her ear, sounding as clear as if he was standing right beside her: “Trust no-one.”
She clamped her mouth shut. It was probably good advice, she thought, as she recalled Ralph’s spirited defense of the king’s position. He hadn’t been drawn on whose side he supported, but it was too great a risk to presume that he favored the empress just because she did.
Anxious to outpace her uneasy conscience and also to prevent further conversation with Ralph, she quickened her steps. Winifred trotted beside her, keeping pace. “What was that all about?” she asked, once Ralph was safely out of hearing.
Janna shook her head, cursing herself for a fool as she realized that, despite her good intentions, she’d just confirmed Ralph’s belief that a message had indeed been found on the corpse.
“It’s a shame to quarrel with him, for I think he admires you.” Winifred sounded somewhat wistful. Janna wondered if she was having second thoughts about being shut away in an abbey for the rest of her life.
“Have you ever had any admirers, Winifred?” she ventured. “I don’t mean Old Dribblegum, I mean someone young and handsome?” She glanced over her shoulder at Ralph. “Did you ever think about becoming a wife and mother instead of dedicating your life to God?”
“No, never.” Winifred sounded quite positive about it. “But…but I am so afraid, Janna.” She held up her purse. “What am I going to do with this? I can’t keep it. But I can’t think what else to do with it other than throw it away. And I could never do that!”
In all the turmoil, Janna hadn’t given Winifred’s predicament any further thought. “Probably the best thing is to find some way of getting it safely back to Wiltune Abbey,” she said slowly, grappling for ideas, any solution to the problem, no matter how unappealing it might seem.
“I trust you, Janna. Could you take it back for me?”
“Me? You want me to claim the reward for ‘finding’ it?” Janna gave a snort of laughter. “I don’t think so, Winifred! They’ll think I took it in the first place.”
“No, they won’t. They know you. Please, Janna. We could share the reward. You could have something for your trouble, while my share might be enough for a dowry at a lesser abbey. Like the one at Ambresberie, perhaps?”
Janna hadn’t suspected Winifred capable of such practical good sense. She was surprised and impressed, but equally determined to have no part in any such enterprise. “Ulf’s a relic seller. I’m sure he could come up with an explanation as to how he came by the hand. Ask Ulf to help you.”
“No.” Winifred hung her head. “I’m too ashamed.”
“Have courage,” Janna admonished. “Remember, you have St Edith on your side!”
“So I thought. Now, I’m not so sure I understood her meaning correctly.”
Neither was Janna, but she believed it would do Winifred no good to start doubting herself now. “You have the relic. It’s too late now to wish it away. So, let’s rather consider this as an opportunity and make the most of it,” she said briskly.
Winifred attempted a small smile. “Please take it back for me, Janna. I’d much rather share the reward with you. Besides, I…I don’t know Ulf. I don’t know if I can trust him to keep his word.”
“I can’t go back, Winifred. I must go on to Ambresberie.” Janna was sorry not to be able to help the girl, even while she acknowledged that she hated the whole idea of claiming a reward under false pretenses from an abbey that had given her shelter and taught her so much in the year she had stayed there. “Speak to Ulf once we get to Ambresberie,” she advised. “If he won’t help you, then we’ll think of something else. Who knows, we may come up with an even better plan.”
She was silent a moment as another idea came to her. She reviewed the contents of her purse, and heaved a reluctant sigh. It might do, if everything else failed. But it would come at a cost, for she knew she would regret it. “I’ll come with you to speak to Ulf,” she promised Winifred. “If that doesn’t work out, I know something else that might.”
They walked on. Janna’s stomach rumbled with hunger. They’d had nothing to eat the night before, nor had they broken their fast this day. She slowed down to keep pace with Morcar and Golde. “How far is it to Ambresberie?”
“Not too much further.” Morcar pointed toward a thicket of trees in the distance. A glint of water ran through them like a silver thread. “There’s the abbey.” Janna saw a grey stone tower beyond the trees. “We’ll be there in an hour or two, mistress.”
Ralph fell into step with them all. “What are your plans when you get there, Janna?”
“I shall go to the abbey to make enquiries about my mother.”
“Before that, will you let me have another look at the ring you carry in your purse?” Ralph asked. “It may be that I know far more than the good sisters at the abbey can tell you.”
Janna looked up at him, unable to disguise the sudden leap of hope his words had given her. From the way Ralph was speaking now, it seemed he might know even more than she’d realized. “That would be kind of you, but I’ve already put it away.”
“I want you to show me everything in your purse. It may be that I recognize something from my time in Winchestre that you cannot know about. I want to do all in my power to help you find your father.” There was no doubting the sincerity in Ralph’s voice, nor could Janna miss the warm regard in his eyes.
“I thank you,” she said, silently chastising herself for being so quick to take offence. True, he had a
questioning nature, full of curiosity about things that didn’t concern him. But then, so did she. It seemed they were kindred spirits, and well-matched indeed! The thought brought a rosy blush to her cheeks and her smile grew broader.
“You look happier,” Ralph observed. “Have you forgiven me then? For I assure you, mistress, I meant no disrespect by my questions. I am only anxious to find out the truth behind this tragic affair.”
“As am I,” Janna assured him.
“Oh, good,” Winifred observed, coming up on Janna’s other side and linking arms with her. “You’re friends again.”
Ralph laughed and so, after a moment, did Janna. “A small misunderstanding,” he said cheerfully. “And I guarantee that nothing shall ever come between us again.” He hooked his arm through Janna’s, and together the three walked on.
As soon as they came to a likely screen of bushes, Janna excused herself and went behind their shelter. Within a few moments she was back, this time with her purse tied to her girdle outside her gown.
“Show me the ring, and whatever else you have in there,” Ralph said, as his eyes strayed to the dangling purse. Janna extracted the ring, and held it out for Ralph’s inspection once more. She felt light-headed with excitement.
“Whose ring is that?” Winifred asked curiously.
“I think it belonged to my father.” Janna watched as Ralph traced the emblems engraved on the ring’s surface. “What is that?” She pointed at the cat-like creature.
“It’s a lion. And that is a crown. This is the insignia of a king.”
“King Henry?”
“Well guessed,” Ralph affirmed. “This is not Stephen’s insignia.”
“My father gave this to my mother before ever Stephen came to the throne.” Janna peered at the strange creature that Ralph had called a “lion.” She wondered whether such animals really existed. She touched the crown. “Does this mean that my father was the king’s loyal supporter?”
“It does indeed. And this…” Ralph traced the initial J with his finger. “This would be the first initial of your father’s name. John, I think you said?”
“John.” Janna was delighted to have her suspicions confirmed by Ralph. “Is there a John living in Winchestre? Do you know my father, Ralph?”
“I know several men named John. ’Tis a common enough name among the Normans, Janna.”
“Oh.” Janna’s spirits, which had flown to such giddy heights, now collapsed.
“Do not lose heart.” Ralph was quick to comfort her. “This ring has given me a good idea of who he is and where we might seek him. Show me his letter. I am sure it will have information we can use.”
Janna untied her purse and drew it out. She was about to hand it over, but a sudden scruple made her pause. “It’s very private,” she said. “My mother kept it hidden all her life, and I shouldn’t share it with you now. But I am quite sure there is naught in it to indicate who my father might be, for I have studied it carefully.”
“You have read the letter? You can read?” Ralph’s tone sharpened with interest, while Winifred’s expression reflected awe.
Janna nodded somewhat self-consciously. “I learned how to read and to write at the abbey.”
“And this letter?” Ralph queried. “Is it signed ‘John fitz Roy?’ Or ‘John fitz Henry’ perhaps?”
“No. It’s just signed ‘John.’”
“And there is nothing else in the letter about your father, his family, or where he might live?”
Janna shook her head. “He just said that his father had gone to Normandy and that he must follow him there.”
“And there are other letters?”
“No.” Janna squashed the thought of the missing letter. It had nothing to do with her family. She wished again that she could be wholly truthful with Ralph. A discomforting thought came into her mind: Love and trust belonged together – so how could she think herself half in love with Ralph if she couldn’t trust him? She became aware of his steady regard, and was glad that he wasn’t able to read her mind. But she’d made a promise. Even though the bishop’s letter had likely vanished forever, the truth was still not hers to tell.
“It could be that your father’s family has land in Normandy?” Ralph pointed out. “Many barons still hold land over there as well as owning property in England. It’s an anxious time for landowners, especially now.”
“Why so?” Janna was surprised by the hard edge of anger in Ralph’s voice.
“They have to protect their interests from the long and grasping fingers of Geoffrey of Anjou no less than from the Lady of England.”
“Isn’t Geoffrey the husband of the Empress Matilda?”
“Indeed he is, and he shares his wife’s ambition, she for England and he for Normandy and Anjou. Both of them are busy buying support, conferring titles and bestowing land and favors, most especially if the rightful owners are not there to protect their own interests.”
Janna looked at him, understanding now where his loyalty lay. She had been right not to tell him about the letter after all. “And do you have land and property at risk?” she asked, feeling her way.
He glanced sideways at her, and gave a grudging nod. “Forgive me if I sound bitter,” he said. “These are difficult times for us all.”
“Is that why you travel to St Frideswide’s shrine? To pray for an end to the misery of this battle for the crown? Is that the miracle you seek?”
“Yes, indeed.” Ralph looked a little disconcerted. “But…I have other business to conduct there too.”
“Like the land and property you said was at risk?” Janna asked, anxious to understand everything about him.
Ralph hesitated. “Yes, that’s right. I can only hope my cousin already has it in hand.” He shook himself slightly as if to dismiss his dark thoughts. “But what is on my mind now is your father, Janna,” he said briskly. “If he’s not in Winchestre, we may have to seek him in Normandy.”
Inside, Janna was singing with joy at Ralph’s use of the word “we.” She would tell Ralph everything, oh yes, she would. She would trust him with the truth just as soon as this was over, when the empress was crowned and none of it mattered any more. “Or he may be in Ambresberie?” she ventured. “That’s where he met my mother, so he may own property or have some business there. Once we arrive I intend to question everyone I meet, just in case someone knows something about him.”
“Oh, I do hope you find your father, Janna!” Winifred clasped her hands together, her eyes shining with excitement.
“We’re going to do our best, aren’t we, Janna?” Ralph gave her a conspiratorial wink. “Show me your purse. What else do you have that belonged to him?”
Ignoring his request, Janna extracted the brooch and handed it to him. The silver coins jangled together, reminding her that she had a debt to repay. “This for you,” she said, following the brooch with a coin. “For my boots,” she added, as he tried to give it back to her. “I will not be in your debt, my lord.”
He turned the brooch over and read the inscription. “Amor vincit omnia. It means ‘love conquers all.’” He smiled at Janna. “Very loving,” he commented, “but not very informative.”
Janna dropped the brooch back into her purse and drew the string tight against Ralph’s curious gaze.
“This is so romantic!” Winifred breathed.
“He must have loved your mother very much,” Ralph observed.
Janna nodded, swept by a tide of grief as she remembered how her mother had died with John’s name on her lips, while never knowing how much she was loved in return. If only Eadgyth had trusted her lover, she thought. She glanced sideways at Ralph. It all came down to trust.
*
Their first stop, when they arrived in Ambresberie, was the cookshop. Janna’s nose twitched at the delicious scent of hot pies, but before she could find a coin to pay for one, Ralph strode up to the counter. He returned with five steaming pasties, and Janna and Winifred stretched out grateful hands to receive thei
r share. Morcar and Golde came into view shortly afterward, and Ralph handed them each a pasty. There was a prolonged silence as everyone ate, for it had been a long time since their last meal.
“That was delicious. Thank you, my lord!” Janna licked her fingers clean of gravy, then washed her hands at the pump. She debated wiping them dry on her gown, as she was wont to do, but decided against it. She could do little to protect the precious fabric against the ravages of the journey, but she certainly wasn’t going to compound the problem by adding food or water stains. Winifred and the others had no such qualms, however, and cheerfully swiped their hands down their tunics to dry them.
“I’ll escort you to the abbey,” Ralph told Janna. He looked at the rest of the pilgrim group. “Pray you, seek out Mistress Juliana and Ulf. We’ll come looking for you later.”
“No!” Janna said, as a host of problems suddenly presented themselves. She knew what sort of reception she’d get if she arrived at the abbey gates escorted by a man, even someone as personable as Ralph. She was determined to get inside the abbey, perhaps even stay the night if they would have her, for she wanted time to question anyone who might have known her mother. For that, she would have to make the visit alone.
“I thank you for your kind offer, but I must go to the abbey on my own. I know not how long I’ll be there,” she told him. It was the next complication that bothered Janna; she wasn’t quite sure how to address it. She could only speak out, and hope her offer did not work to her disadvantage. She addressed all the pilgrims together. “There is no need for any of you to wait for me, for it was always my intention to leave you once we arrived here in safety. Pray, do not delay your journey to Oxeneford on my account.”
“But I have offered to help you search for your father,” Ralph protested. “I thought that was what you wanted?”
Pilgrim of Death: The Janna Chronicles 4 Page 12
