by Regan Ure
It was still so unbelievable.
“How old is Mark?” I asked. He didn’t look old enough to be a bodyguard.
“He is twenty. I knew you wouldn’t be happy with the idea of a bodyguard, so we needed someone who could blend into the school as a student so you wouldn’t suspect anything, and we’d know there was someone watching over you if I wasn’t there.”
Then it dawned on me. Mark had asked me out on date. I couldn’t help feeling a little embarrassed to think that I’d seriously thought about dating someone who’d been paid to protect me. I’d been a job to him.
A few moments of silence settled between us.
“Are you angry with me?” he asked softly while he studied me.
How could I be angry with him? He and his family had been so worried about me that they’d taken extreme steps to try and keep me safe. I understood why they had kept Mark’s true identity for me. I shook my head. Besides, I was pretty sure that had it not been for Mark, things would have ended very differently. I was okay, and the people I loved were okay, too.
“Are you sure?” he asked, gently rubbing his thumb over the outside of my hand.
“How can I be angry with you? You were trying to keep me…safe.” The last word was hard to say. For the first time that I could remember, I finally felt safe. “I went out on a date with a guy that was being paid to watch over me.”
“It was his job to keep close to you, but I don’t think that’s why he asked you out.”
I chewed on my bottom lip while I processed what he said.
There was still so much for me to wrap my mind around, and I knew it would take a while.
“How long have I been out of it?” I asked.
“It’s been about a day,” he said. He ran his hand through his hair.
There was a more burning question that I was too scared to ask. Chris and I hadn’t been the only ones that could have been hurt by Grant.
“Did anyone…”
It was hard to form the question. Understanding appeared in his eyes. He knew exactly what I was worried about.
“No one died,” he stated. There was a hard edge to his eyes that was fierce with anger. “He won’t ever be able to hurt anyone again.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to keep the emotion that those words pulled inside of me at bay. I wasn’t sure if I believed in heaven and hell, but I knew that if they existed, Grant would be in hell for all the things he’d done.
“It’s okay, Haven,” Damien assured me as I felt the light brush of his lips against my forehead. The simple action from him made my throat thicken with emotion again.
I opened my eyes to look directly into his. After everything I’d been through, I was so lucky to have him in my life. I didn’t know what I would have done without him.
“I love you,” I whispered hoarsely, trying to put the overwhelming feelings inside of me into words. There had been moments that I’d been convinced that I would never see him again.
“I love you, too,” he whispered back as he pressed his lips to mine.
As his lips left mine, he sat back down beside me and held my hand.
“Haven,” I heard Amy say when she entered the hospital room. She put two coffee cups down on the table beside me before she leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
The relief I saw in her eyes made my throat tighten.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said gently as she brushed my cheek.
But the emotion that I’d managed to keep bottled up began to break free as the tears slid down my face.
“It’s going to be okay,” she assured me in a gentle tone as Damien squeezed my other hand.
At that moment a nurse entered to check on me.
“How are you doing today?” the slightly overweight and smiling nurse asked from the foot of my bed while she scanned my chart.
I brushed the tears from my face as I tried to pull myself together.
“I’ll have to ask the two of you to step out for a moment so that the doctor can check on her,” the nurse said to Damien and Amy as the doctor walked in.
Amy pressed a kiss to my cheek and Damien gave my hand one last squeeze before they left me in the room with the jolly nurse, and a doctor that looked familiar.
It was Dr. Johnson, the doctor who had looked after me Grant had nearly killed me the first time.
“Hello, Haven,” he greeted with a friendly smile.
“Hi,” I said.
“How are you feeling?” he asked while he checked my shoulder. I winced in pain as he removed the dressing. He gave me a friendly smile but I could see the concern and sympathy hidden in his eyes.
“Okay.”
It was the only response I had. I was feeling a lot of things at the moment, and a lot of them were emotional. I felt raw. Not a lot of people survived what I had; I’d effectively survived death twice, and I was still living and breathing. So, I was okay.
After the doctor and nurse left, Steven entered the room.
“Hi,” he greeted when he came to stand beside me. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“Amy and Damien went to get something to eat, they’ll be back soon,” he told me, sitting down in the chair beside me.
“Why didn’t you go with them?” I asked softly.
“We didn’t want you to be on your own, so I’ll get something when they get back.”
It was sweet that they didn’t want to leave me on my own. I was closer to this family than I’d ever been with my own flesh and blood. It showed that family wasn’t just people who shared your blood.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
“You mean a lot to me and my family,” he said softly. “I’m so glad that you’re going to okay. The doctor says you’ll be in for another couple of days and then we can take you home.”
It was good to hear that I’d be going home soon. Hospitals weren’t happy places, so the sooner I got out of here the better.
Home. In the short time I’d lived with them it had started to feel like home.
“I can’t wait to get out of here,” I replied as I shifted in the bed. The pain in my shoulder reminded me why I was in here in the first place.
It wasn’t long before Amy and Damien returned. Amy fussed over me like a mother for a little while before she left with Steven, promising she’d check in with me later.
A couple of hours later, during late visiting hours, Mark walked in holding a rainbow of flowers. They were beautiful.
He smiled at me. I smiled back. I owed him so much.
“Hey,” he greeted Damien when Damien stood up and walked over to him. He extended his hand and Mark shook it.
The incident had changed all of us in some way. For Mark and Damien, it had pulled them closer together; they’d bonded over their hatred for the evil who had abused me for years. Thanks to Mark, Grant would never get another chance.
“I’ll give you guys a moment,” Damien said before he kissed my forehead and left me alone with Mark standing at the foot of the bed.
“These are for you,” he said when he set the flowers down on the table beside me.
“Thank you,” I said softly, holding his gaze. He knew I was thanking him for more than just the beautiful flowers. If it hadn’t been for him, things might have gone horribly wrong and Grant would still be alive.
No matter how many times I replayed the memories of that day over and over in my head, I couldn’t see how Grant had tried to attack Mark. It began to dawn on me that Grant hadn’t tried to do anything.
Considering the weird interaction between Damien and Mark just before Mark had pulled the trigger, I’d come to the realization that they’d planned it. They had known as well as I had that as long as Grant had lived and breathed he would have haunted me, until one day he would have succeeded in taking my life or died trying.
“You’re welcome,” he said softly while he stood by the side of my bed. “I know you’ve been through a
lot. When the Knights employed me to protect you, I needed all the information they had on you to be able to do my job. They sent me the police reports of the attack, as well as all the information the doctors had. It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to read. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
He reached for my hand and he gave it a squeeze. I shifted my gaze from him. I felt raw and exposed. Although he didn’t know everything, he knew enough to know that my life had been hard. I felt the emotion begin to clog my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut. It wasn’t his fault that it had happened to me, and I wanted to say that but I knew if I tried to I would just burst into tears.
“I feel like I failed you,” he said, his eyes meeting mine. For the first time he looked unsure of himself, even nervous.
“Why?” I asked, a little confused. If it hadn’t been for him, I didn’t think all of us would have made it out alive.
“I was supposed to protect you and I failed…you got shot,” he said, watching me carefully. It was almost like he expected me to hold him responsible for that.
“You tried to get me out safely…I was the one that turned around and went back into the school. It was my decision,” I assured.
“I should have made sure you got out of the school before I went to find Chris,” he told me.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t take the chance that Grant would have killed him if I hadn’t done what he asked,” I said to him.
“I get why you did it. I had to think quick to figure out a way to try and see what was happening in the classroom, so I climbed out of the window as quietly as I could. I can’t help thinking that if I’d been quicker I could have stopped him before he shot you,” he contemplated.
I reached out and touched his arm as his eyes held mine.
“I don’t want you to sit and think about any ‘what ifs.’ You did the best you could and the most important thing is that we all made it out alive,” I explained firmly, leaving no room for any doubt. He needed to realize that if things hadn’t gone the way they had, we all might not have made it out alive. I saw his eyes lighten and he smiled.
“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” he informed me softly. I never thought of myself of as strong. I saw myself as more of a survivor. I hadn’t been strong; I’d just survived.
A few moments of silence descended as I struggled with the compliment.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” I said softly. He’d been paid to protect me, but he’d killed Grant to free me from a life that would have been shadowed from fear. My eyes conveyed what my words didn’t. Grant had taunted me with what he had in store for me and we all knew that he would have spent the rest of his life trying to end mine. I’d never be free.
“As your bodyguard, I was supposed to stay close to you but my asking you out hadn’t been a part of it,” he began to explain as he released my hand. “I genuinely liked you. When I first met you, despite the fact that I knew so much about your situation, I saw a vulnerability in you that made me want to protect you—but it was the way you picked yourself up and got on with it that got under my skin. Damien better realize how special you are, because if he screws it up I’ll be around to make him sorry.”
It was hard to imagine that I’d gone from such a sad and lonely existence to where I was now. I had a family that loved me, an amazing boyfriend that understood me, and friends that would do anything they could to keep me safe.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Haven
“What’s on your mind?” Damien asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
After Mark’s visit, Damien had returned. He’d climbed up onto the hospital bed, making sure not to hurt me, and lay on his side beside me. Having him so close make me feel safe.
I chewed my lip for a moment as my eyes met his searching gaze.
“I know everyone’s been telling me that Chris is okay, but I can’t help but worry about him,” I told him, letting him in to the thoughts that had been occupying my mind. “I want to be able to see him and tell him how sorry I am that Grant hurt him.”
“He is really going to be fine. Unlike you, he only suffered a surface wound. He is only in the hospital for the night and they are going to release him tomorrow morning,” he explained, trying to ease my guilt.
Logic would dictate that his information would make me feel slightly better, but emotions didn’t follow a logical route, and none of what he told me make me feel any less guilty.
“I have an idea,” Damien said out of the blue, shifting off the bed slowly so that he didn’t jolt my already throbbing shoulder.
He disappeared out of my hospital room. I had no idea what he was up to. A tired sigh escaped me while I lay waiting to see what Damien had gone to do. I didn’t wait long. Not even ten minutes later, he came back.
“You happy to see me?” Chris asked, with a cheeky smile from the doorway of my hospital room. He was dressed in a hospital gown like I was and he was sitting in a wheelchair manned by Damien.
“Chris,” I whispered. My eyes scanned his features. Happiness and relief flooded through me at the sight of him.
Damien wheeled him to my bed and he gave me a tentative smile.
“Are you sure he’s okay to be out of his bed?” I asked Damien, my eyes remaining fixed on Chris.
“I’m fine. Just a little scratch,” Chris assured me with his little white lie, reaching for my hand and giving it a squeeze. His scratch wasn’t just a little one—I remembered how much he’d bled.
I had a feeling that the memories from that day would haunt me for the rest of my life no matter how much I tried to put it behind me. Damien watched the two of us from behind the wheelchair. I looked to him for a moment.
“I’m just going to get something to drink, do you guys want anything?” he asked, looking at me and then shifting his questioning gaze to Chris.
Both of us shook our heads.
“I won’t be long,” Damien assured me before he left.
One moment’s silence turned into two.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Guilt strangled me from the inside.
“Haven, you have nothing to be sorry about,” he assured me.
“I’m not sure…I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for what happened…to you,” I told him haltingly.
“It wasn’t your fault.” His eyes held mine. There was no anger directed at me. “You had no control over the situation. The person who is responsible for what happened is dead, hopefully burning in hell. He won’t ever be able to hurt you or anybody else ever again. Now you pick up the pieces and you put yourself back together, and move on.”
He was right. I had to pick myself up and move forward, I couldn’t spend the rest of my life living in my past.
“What about all the other kids he shot?” I asked the question that had been bothering me.
I wouldn’t blame anyone if they hated me for what had happened to them. It didn’t matter how many times I was told it wasn’t my fault—if I hadn’t been at the school, it never would have happened. I couldn’t hope that the other students who had been traumatized by the attack would forgive me as easily as Chris had.
“They will heal and they’ll move on,” he assured me with a determined look on his face. “We are a part of your life and we love you. Your life up to this point has been tough, and from now on you get to live the life you should have had.”
That was one thing about Chris: he could be so easygoing and cheeky but when it came down to it he was full of beautiful words that could be strung together to make me feel better about anything.
I studied him for a moment.
Despite his upbeat and “carry on” attitude, even he couldn’t dispute how close we’d come to death.
“I couldn’t help feeling relieved when Mark shot him,” he revealed softly.
“Me too.”
For a while a look passed between us.
“We owe him,” he said. We both owed him for saving our lives.
&nb
sp; A few moments of silence settled between us.
“Mark killed the man that would have stalked you until he took your life. We all heard him threaten you…” he reminded me as his eyes flickered to mine. “He was never going to give up or just walk away. If he’d made it out of that room alive none of us would have been able to live our lives without that fear hanging over our heads.”
As if on cue, Damien walked back into the hospital room.
“Your nurse is running around the hospital trying to find you,” Damien informed Chris, with a slight laugh.
Chris rolled his eyes.
“She’s a pain,” he said. “But at least I’m outta here tomorrow.”
“Thank you for coming to see me,” I said to my best friend. But “best friend” didn’t feel right, considering how important he was to me. He was my family.
“It was good to see you,” he said. There was that seriousness that I didn’t often see in him.
“Come on, it’s time to go,” Damien told him as he took hold of the handles on the wheelchair.
“I could always hire Mark to keep me safe from the nurse,” he quipped when Damien began to wheel him out of my room. Damien chuckled and I couldn’t help but laugh, even though it jerked my wound and shot pain through my shoulder.
“I don’t think Mark stands a chance against her,” Damien weighed in. I didn’t hear Chris’ reply.
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I felt was lips touching my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Damien lying in the hospital bed next to me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered as he shifted a piece of my hair out of my face with his fingers.
“It’s okay,” I said, giving him a smile. “Have I been sleeping for long?”
“Just a couple of hours,” he answered. I was lying on my back and he was lying on his side, facing me. It was dark but the soft lighting from above illuminated his features.
“Thank you for bringing Chris to see me,” I told him.
“You’re welcome. I just wanted you to see he was fine,” he assured me.
“I feel much better now that I’ve had a chance to see him,” I replied. My shoulders felt lighter from all the guilt I’d been carrying since the incident at the school.
