by Ron Roy
is for Big Bucks…
The detective looked at the three friends.
“Tell you what,” he said. “If you find the kid who filmed the robber, get the video. There’ll be a nice reward if you hand it over.”
“How much?” Josh asked.
“How about one hundred dollars for each of you?”
“A HUNDRED BUCKS?” screamed Ruth Rose.
The detective pulled out a small pad and a pencil. He wrote something and ripped off the page.
“Here’s my phone number. Call me if you get that video.”
Dink closed the door behind Detective Reddy. He grinned at Josh and Ruth Rose. “A hundred bucks each! We’re rich!”
Collect all the books in the series!
series!
The Absent Author
The Bald Bandit
This is for my mother, Marie Jeanne Roy
–R.R.
To Christopher, for being a great Dink
–J.S.G.
Dink slipped the plastic fangs into his mouth. He made a scary face at his best friend, Josh Pinto.
“Do I look like a vampire?” It was hard to talk without spitting, so Dink took the fangs out again.
Dink’s full name was Donald David Duncan, but nobody called him Donald. Except his mom, when she was upset. Then she called him by all three names.
Josh grinned. “No. You look like a skinny third-grader wearing false teeth.”
“Wait till I put on the rest of my costume.” Dink said. “Then I’ll look like a vampire.”
“Maybe you will.” Josh was tearing a green bedsheet into long strips. “And maybe you won’t.”
Dink’s guinea pig, Loretta, crawled among the green strips. Every now and then she let out a curious squeak.
“How will you be able to walk if you’re wrapped up in all those strips?” Dink asked Josh.
Josh kept tearing. “Swamp monsters don’t walk,” he said in a slithery voice. “They gliiiide.”
“Okay, so how will you be able to gliiiide wrapped up in all those strips?”
The doorbell rang. When Dink opened the door, his next-door neighbor, Ruth Rose, was standing on the steps.
“Hi, Ruth Rose. Why are you wearing a wig? Halloween isn’t until tomorrow.”
Ruth Rose was dressed in her usual bright clothes—a pink shirt, pink pants, and pink sneakers. But on her head she wore a shiny black wig. She also had on thick fake eyebrows.
Ruth Rose wiggled the fake eyebrows up and down. “Guess who I am!”
Josh stared at Ruth Rose. “A hairy princess?”
“No.”
“Groucho Marx?”
She shook her head.
“Tell us, Ruth Rose,” Dink said.
Ruth Rose pretended to strum a guitar. “I’m Elvis!” she cried.
“That was my next guess,” Josh said.
Ruth Rose looked at his mound of green strips. “What are you supposed to be?”
Josh wrapped a strip around his face. He made a swamp monster face at Ruth Rose.
“Guess,” he said.
Ruth Rose smiled sweetly “You’re a green sheet torn into strips.”
The doorbell rang again.
This time Dink saw a tall man standing on the doorstep. He was dressed in a suit and tie. He had dark curly hair, a droopy mustache, and a dimpled chin.
“Hi, there. My name is Detective Reddy. I was hired by the Green Lawn Savings Bank to find someone. Did you hear about the robbery?”
Josh and Ruth Rose came to the door and stood behind Dink.
Dink nodded. “I heard about it on TV.”
“Are you looking for the robber?” Josh asked.
Detective Reddy shook his head. “Right now I’m looking for someone who saw him. When the thief ran out of the bank, he took off his mask. Some kid was walking by with a video camera. He got the thief on tape. The bank hired me to find the kid so I can get the video.”
“What does the kid look like?” Ruth Rose asked.
Detective Reddy stared at her Elvis wig. “Someone in the bank said he has red hair and he’s tall and skinny.”
“Sounds like you, Josh,” said Dink. He laughed and pointed at Josh’s red hair.
“It wasn’t me, honest!” Josh said. “I don’t even have a video camera.”
“No, the kid was a lot older than you,” said the detective. “Probably in high school.” He patted his mustache. “Do you guys know anyone like that?”
“No,” Dink said. “But we do know Green Lawn pretty well. Maybe we can help you find him.”
The detective looked at the three friends.
“Tell you what,” he said. “Check the high school tomorrow. If you find the kid who filmed the robber, get the video. There’ll be a nice reward if you hand it over.”
“How much?” Josh asked.
“How about one hundred dollars for each of you?”
“A HUNDRED BUCKS?” screamed Ruth Rose.
Dink, Josh, and Detective Reddy covered their ears.
“Ouch!” said Detective Reddy. “That’s quite a set of lungs you’ve got there.”
“How can we get in touch with you if we find the kid?” Dink asked.
The detective pulled out a small pad and a pencil. He wrote something and ripped off the page.
“Here’s my phone number. Call me if you get that video.”
Dink closed the door behind Detective Reddy. He grinned at Josh and Ruth Rose. “A hundred bucks each! We’re rich!”
“Here’s the plan,” Dink said.
It was almost three o’clock the next afternoon. Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose were headed for the high school, a few blocks away from Green Lawn Elementary.
“Josh, you cover the back door. Ruth Rose, your station is the bike rack. But keep an eye on the parking lot, too.”
“How can I watch the bike rack and the parking lot?” asked Ruth Rose.
“Watch one with each eye,” Josh said, grinning.
“What’s your station?” Ruth Rose asked Dink.
“I’ll be watching the front door. If anyone sees a skinny redhead, stop him and yell.”
Ruth Rose laughed. “Stop him and yell? He’ll think we’re crazy and run away.”
“She’s right,” Josh said.
Dink scratched his thick blond hair. “Hmm. Okay, don’t yell. Just get his name and tell him he may have won some money.”
They cut through the park next to the high school.
“What money?” Josh asked.
“Well, if Detective Reddy is going to pay us a hundred dollars each to find the video, I figure we can give the kid half the money. But only if he gives us the video.”
At the high school, they split up. Josh ran around to the back of the school. Ruth Rose sat on the lawn next to the bike rack.
Dink sat on a bench where he had a good view of the front door.
Suddenly, he heard a loud bell. Ten seconds later, the front door burst open. A million high school kids shoved through the door and scrambled down the front steps.
Dink stood on the bench so he wouldn’t get trampled. He was looking for red hair, but it wasn’t easy to spot. Some of the kids had hats on. Some wore jackets or sweatshirts with the hoods pulled up. Sometimes Dink couldn’t tell if a kid was a boy or a girl!
Finally, he spotted a tall guy with red hair. Dink jumped off the bench and ran after him.
“Excuse me,” Dink said, trying to catch his breath.
“Who are you?” the redhead asked.
“Dink Duncan.” Dink tried to remember his plan. “You may have won some money!”
The redhead stared down at Dink. “Money? Me? Why? How much mo
ney?”
“Were you near the bank when the robbery happened last week?” he asked.
The kid kept staring at Dink. “Robbery? What robbery?”
“You didn’t hear about it? It was on the news, on TV. Some guy robbed Green Lawn Savings Bank.”
“So what’s it to you?”
“A kid with red hair got the robber on tape,” Dink said. “I’m helping to find him. There’s going to be a reward.”
“Rats, I wish I did tape the guy,” the redhead said, shaking his head. “I could use a reward. But I wasn’t anywhere near the bank last week.” He waved and headed for the park. “Good luck!”
Dink looked around for another redhead, but everyone had disappeared.
He walked toward the bike rack. Ruth Rose was sitting on the lawn, weaving grass blades together.
“Did you see any redheads?” Dink asked, plopping down beside her.
“Three,” Ruth Rose said. “One was a short, fat boy. One was a girl. One was a teacher.”
Josh came running up.
“Any luck?” he asked.
“Nope,” Dink said. “How’d you do?”
“I talked to two guys with red hair. One of them told me to take a hike. The other one was an exchange student from Ireland. He told me he doesn’t even know where the bank is.”
“Great,” Dink said. “We all struck out. Now what do we do?”
Josh tossed a pine cone at a tree. “Beats me.”
“We should search the whole neighborhood,” Ruth Rose said.
“How?” Dink asked.
Ruth Rose stood up and dusted off her shorts. “Easy. We just go door to door and ask.”
“How can we do that without our parents finding out?” Josh asked. “Mine won’t let me get involved with some bank robber, that’s for sure.”
“Mine either,” Dink said.
“So how do we explain why we’re wandering around Green Lawn knocking on everyone’s doors?” asked Josh.
“Come on, guys,” Ruth Rose said. “Think about it. What’s tonight?”
Dink and Josh looked at each other.
“Halloween!”
With black shoe polish in his hair and plastic fangs in his mouth, Dink looked like Dracula.
His mom had made him a cape from an old black raincoat. He tied the cape around his neck just as the doorbell rang.
A strange creature stood on his porch. The thing was wrapped in green cloth. Tufts of red hair poked out at the top. Large black high-tops stuck out at the bottom.
“How do I look?” the thing asked.
Dink took out his fangs and grinned. “Like some weird vegetable. Half carrot and half asparagus.”
Josh shuffled inside the house.
“You look pretty good, Dink. I like the blood dripping down your chin.”
The bell dinged again. This time it was a miniature Elvis. Ruth Rose was wearing a white suit with sequins everywhere. She even carried a little guitar. Her Elvis wig made her look about two inches taller.
Ruth Rose strummed her guitar and wiggled her hips.
“Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen,” she said, taking a bow.
“Come on in, Elvis,” Dink said. “We have to talk about Operation Redhead before we go trick-or-treating.”
They sat at Dink’s kitchen table. A basket of candy stood waiting for the neighborhood kids.
“Here’s my plan,” Dink said. “Every house we go to, we ask if anyone knows a skinny redheaded kid.”
“That’s my plan!” Ruth Rose said.
Dink grinned. “Oh, yeah, I forgot.”
One of Ruth Rose’s black eyebrows was crooked. “We have to keep our eyes peeled. Check out tall kids trick-or-treating.”
“Got it,” Dink said.
“Anyone with red hair, we ask them if they took a video of the bank robber,” Ruth Rose went on.
“Check,” Dink said. “Any other ideas?”
“Yeah, I got a great idea,” Josh said. “Let’s stop talking and get moving!”
Dink’s mother walked into the kitchen. She screamed and clutched her chest.
“Oh, my goodness! Monsters in my kitchen!”
Ruth Rose stood up. “I’m not a monster, Mrs. Duncan. I’m Elvis!”
Dink’s mom adjusted Ruth Rose’s left eyebrow. “I know, honey. You make a great Elvis. But these other two!” She shuddered and made a terrified face.
“We’re going now, Mom.” Dink fit the plastic fangs over his teeth. He handed Josh a paper bag and took one for himself.
“Please be back in two hours,” his mother said. “Dad and I will have some cider and doughnuts for you.”
The three kids each took a different street. They agreed to meet back at Dink’s house in about two hours.
Dink headed down Woody Street. He looked at every tall kid in a costume, checking for red hair. But most of the kids out were shorter than him. He counted seventeen ghosts, twenty little witches, eight angels with floppy wings, and a zillion small furry animals.
Dink rang Mrs. Davis’s doorbell. “Trick or treat!”
“Oh, hello, Dink!” said Mrs. Davis. She dropped a small bag of candy kisses into his sack.
“Have you seen any redheaded kids tonight?” Dink asked.
“Redheads?” Mrs. Davis patted her white hair. “I’m afraid I don’t know anyone besides your friend Josh who has red hair.”
Dink thanked Mrs. Davis for the candy and walked next door to old Mr. Kramer’s house.
Mr. Kramer was a little deaf.
“Do you know a skinny redhead?” asked Dink in a loud voice.
Mr. Kramer turned one ear and leaned toward Dink. “What’s that you say? A tinny red bed?”
“A skinny redhead!” Dink yelled even louder. He wished he had Ruth Rose with him. She was the only one loud enough for Mr. Kramer to hear.
Mr. Kramer dropped a nickel in Dink’s bag and slammed the door. Dink sighed.
He followed some ghosts to the next house on Woody Street.
A gorilla opened the door when Dink rang the bell. It had a hairy chest and a huge mouth filled with yellow teeth.
“Trick or treat!” said Dink.
The gorilla dropped a banana into Dink’s bag.
“Have you seen any tall redheaded teenagers walking around?” Dink asked.
The gorilla grunted and shook his head.
“Thanks anyway,” said Dink.
Two hours later, Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose poured their candy onto Dink’s dining room table.
Dink took out his fangs. “Any luck?” he asked.
Josh unwrapped his face. “I saw four redheads. Two girls about ten years old and two adults. No one I talked to knew a skinny redhead in high school.”
Ruth Rose took off her wig and eyebrows and dropped them into her plastic jack-o’-lantern.
“Same here,” she sighed, slumping in her chair. “Nobody knew the right redhead. And I asked everybody!”
Josh ripped open a miniature bag of M&M’s.
“I really wanted that hundred bucks,” he said. “Maybe we should just forget it.”
“Give up after just two days? No way you guys!” Dink climbed up on the table. He wrapped his cape around his face so just his eyes showed.
In his best Count Dracula voice, he said, “Vee vill never giff up!”
The next morning, Dink’s hair was stiff with black shoe polish. He shampooed three times before he got out of the shower.
The bathroom mirror was fogged up when he tried to see his reflection. He wiped the mirror, looked at himself, and gasped.
His hair wasn’t its usual blond and it wasn’t vampire black. It was a muddy brown color, like the rusty parts on his bike.
“Mom! Help!”
His mother peeked into the bathroom. “What’s the…oh, I see.” She giggled.
“It’s not funny, Mom. How am I supposed to go outside like this? My hair looks like it rusted!”
“Honey, lots of kids will have traces of makeup on th
eir faces or color in their hair today. It’s the day after Halloween.”
Dink rubbed a towel over his hair as hard as he could. He looked in the mirror. Now he had frizzy rust-colored hair.
“Be thankful it’s Saturday,” his mother said, smiling. “At least you don’t have to go to school today.”
After breakfast, Dink jammed his baseball cap over his hair and headed for Josh’s house.
When Dink got there, Josh was already shooting hoops in front of his barn. He grinned at Dink.
“What’s wrong with your hair?” he asked.
Dink yanked his hat off. “Take a look. The stupid shoe polish from last night won’t wash out. I had to be a vampire, right? I couldn’t just be a cowboy or an astronaut.”
Josh dribbled and took a shot. He missed the hoop.
“So have you thought of a plan for finding that kid with the video?” Josh asked.
“No,” said Dink, jamming his hat back over his hair.
“Well, what do we do now?” said Josh. “Ask at more houses?”
“I don’t know,” Dink said. “Now that Halloween is over, we’d look pretty suspicious. Besides, Green Lawn has hundreds of houses. We’d be knocking on doors for a month.”
Josh made a perfect shot. “Two points!”
“We have to use our heads instead of our feet,” Dink said, grabbing the ball after Josh’s basket.
A door slammed behind them.
“Uh-oh,” Josh mumbled.
“Josh, it’s time to go,” his mother called. “Come in and brush your teeth, please.”
“I have a dentist appointment,” Josh said. “Call me later, okay?”
“Okay.” Dink tossed Josh’s ball into the barn and started walking away.
“Hey!” Josh yelled behind him. “I think your new hair color looks just adorable!”
“Very funny,” Dink muttered, tugging his hat down even tighter.
Maybe I’ll cut my hair off, he thought. Go to school bald on Monday.
Suddenly, he stopped walking. Thinking about cutting his hair off gave him an idea.
He ran toward Main Street. At Howard’s Barbershop, he peered through the glass. Howard was watching an I Love Lucy rerun on a small TV set.
