“I’m almost there,” I whisper, unable to grasp how quickly this explosion is coming on. I entwine one of my legs with his, both of us still treading, even as he’s working me to my max.
“Jess,” I whisper again. “Jess.”
He pulls me into him, kissing my neck, biting my bottom lip with his teeth. Then he presses his cheek to mine, his stubble gripping the side of my face and his hot breath caressing my ear.
“Let it go,” he whispers, his voice gruff and dripping with sex. “Let yourself have it, baby.”
He pumps his fingers into me again, but this time his thumb is stroking my throbbing bead on the outside. And that’s all it takes for me to come apart in the middle of the bay, in his arms. I pound a fist against his chest, panting like an animal. He retreats his fingers, then pulls me into him for a long, slow kiss. He leads me to the ladder of the dock, guiding me up with a gentle hand on my ass. He pulls himself up after me, bending down to hand me my clothes. He’s about to pull them on, when I stop him.
“I want to sleep in your bed tonight,” I say. He nods, and I take off running, butt-naked down the dock, toward the barn.
What’s the use in putting clothes back on, when I have no intention of wearing them the rest of the evening?
When we get inside the barn, he slides the doors shut behind us. He’s covering his package with his clothes.
“It’s cold out there,” he explains, shrugging. I smile, sauntering over to him. I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve felt this comfortable being completely naked with someone. When I reach him, I drop to my knees in front of him. His eyebrow shoots up. I tug at his hands, pushing them away. But to my surprise, he stops me. He reaches down and pulls me up by my arms, bringing me to my feet.
“You don’t have to do this,” he says. Now I raise an eyebrow at him.
I also can’t remember a time when I’d been with a guy that refused a blowjob.
“Well, you took excellent care of me in the water,” I say with a sly smile. “It’s payback time.” As I start to kneel again, he grasps me harder.
“It doesn’t have to be like that,” he says. My eyes widen. “It’s not a play-for-play, Lena. I wanted to make you come. I wanted to watch it, selfishly, yes, but I also wanted to take care of you. Of your body. I wanted you to be able to come undone. I didn’t do it expecting anything in return.”
I step back from him, tilting my head to the side.
Jesus Christ. Mr. Rowan is a fucking gentleman.
I spring onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He catches me, dropping his clothes in the process. When he does, I squeeze my thighs around him, letting my middle rub against his hard core. I kneel down and gently tug on his earlobe with my teeth.
“Well then,” I whisper, “I’m gonna need you to take me upstairs and take care of my body. Again.”
He smiles, then invades my mouth with his. He takes the stairs two-by-two, bursting into his bedroom like he’s been celibate for a year. As he moves, I squeeze my legs around him, letting my wetness spread across his body. The way my body reacts to him is foreign to me.
When we get to his room, he lays me on the bed, breaking our lips apart and leaving a trail of kisses down my neck, to each breast, and then to the sweetest spot. He gently pushes my legs apart, and I reach my hands back to clutch onto the sheets.
He takes a finger, slowly sliding it in and out, all around my folds, letting it explore every surface of my most delicate places. He works so slowly, it’s almost painful, but I grit my teeth, knowing how amazing it’s going to be. I buck my hips in his direction, and he smiles.
“Patience, Lena,” he whispers, his voice low and raspy, making me hotter and wetter by the second. I moan in response. He bends down, his mouth centimeters from me, his eyes still on mine. Finally, his tongue and lips find the space between my thighs, swirling around, sucking and licking me up until I’m sure I won’t last another moment. I’m squirming around on his bed, trying desperately not to come too soon.
When he can tell I’m at the brink, he stops, flipping me over onto my belly. I pull myself onto my knees, sticking myself up into the air, giving him easy access to what I so desperately need him to take. He grabs my hips, pulling me back toward him, and I can feel my heart beating like a drum.
“Please, Jesse,” I whisper. “Take me.”
He groans as he reaches a hand around, kissing and biting my neck. I reach a hand back, cradling his sac, and I feel his tip touching me.
“Damn, Lena,” he says, his body jerking back.
“I need you,” I whisper. He leans around, kissing me hard.
“Oh, baby,” he whispers, and I feel his head pushing into me slowly. I reach my hand back, grabbing his shaft and giving it a few hard pumps. Then I guide him into me so quickly it makes us both gasp. I fall forward onto my hands, clenching the sheets so hard that my fingers begin to tingle. He’s moving in and out of me with such impeccable rhythm that I can no longer speak. He reaches around, letting his fingers pull and pluck one of my nipples, the other circling my clit with the same amazing rhythm. Finally, he comes out of me, gently flipping me to my back. He yanks me down so that I’m at the edge of his bed, and pulls my legs up onto his shoulders. He scoops one hand under my ass, then plunges into me again. The angle makes me moan as he moves.
He pumps in and out, in and out, as I tug his hair and scratch at his back. He moves back again, and this time, he comes all the way out of me.
“Tell me what you want,” he grumbles, staring down at me.
“You,” I say, “I want you.”
“Tell me you want to stay,” he says, teasing me with his tip again. My body is bucking, pulling toward him like a magnet, but my heart is stilling in my chest. “Tell. Me,” he says, pumping in and out with each word. The achingly slow movements make me call out his name. I look into his eyes, and behind his desire, his desperation for a climax, is the same fear that’s been camping out in me. I reach my hands up and let my fingers get lost in his hair. I pull him down to me, kissing him harder than I ever have, letting my tongue collide with his. I pull away, and push him back.
“I want to stay,” I whisper. Because it’s true. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave him. We can wait until tomorrow to discuss the fact that we don’t always get what we want.
He kisses me again, just before thrusting into me one more time. The orgasm rushes through my body, the combination of my pure attraction to him and the emotions exploding inside of me. He falls on top of me, propping himself up on his elbows. I wrap my hands around his wrists, letting him pulse inside me for a few more moments.
When we gather ourselves, he leads me to the bathroom and turns on the shower. I let him wash my back and kiss my neck, and I do the same for him. We stand there, wrapped around each other, steaming water pounding against us for what feels like hours. When we’re done, he hands me one of his shirts, and the scent of him wrapping around my body is almost enough to make me push for round three.
But I don’t. Not tonight. Tonight, I just want to lie next to him, right up against him, feeling the breath move in and out of his body. Feeling the safeness, the certainty that his arms bring me—something I never felt before he came into my life. It’s such an intense feeling of security with Jesse. It’s not just that I feel physically safe with him. I mean, his sheer size and strength definitely help to ease some nerves. But it’s also the fact that I can fall apart with him. I can lose control completely; I don’t have to be the girl with the plan. For once, I have someone waiting for me to come back down to Earth, someone who will plan with me. Someone who doesn’t mind catching all of my pieces and putting them back together. Someone who reminds me all that I’m capable of.
A few hours pass, and the exhaustion is finally starting to hit me. My eyes are getting heavy, and I’m about to finally give in to sleep when I hear him whisper my name. I roll over so that I’m facing him, tucking my hand under my head.
“Did I wake you?�
� I ask, stroking the outline of his jaw with my finger. He shakes his head.
“I haven’t slept yet,” he says. He wraps his arms around me tighter, pulling me closer to his chest. “Pretend Tiger doesn’t exist.”
I pull my head back.
“Huh?”
“Just for a minute,” he says. “Pretend Tiger doesn’t exist. We know Millie and Caleb are safe. Okay?” His eyes are still closed as he talks. I humor him.
“Okay.”
“What would you say to staying here, with me, for a few more months, and opening the inn back up?”
My heart begins to race in my chest. I pull back again, trying to keep my breathing from going haywire. But he feels me, and pulls me back into him.
“Shh. They’re safe, remember? Caleb and Millie are safe. Tiger’s gone. What would you say?”
I swallow, letting my finger twirl a piece of his hair.
“I’d say I’d love to,” I whisper. “And that I know it will be a huge success, just like it used to be. Because of you.”
His eyes open, moving back and forth between mine.
“Then stay,” he whispers. I pull back again, this time further, causing his hands to break apart behind me.
“Jesse, we don’t—”
“I know, I know. We still need to talk to Josie. But what if we can make this work? What if you could stay, all of you, and be safe?” He pulls himself up so that he’s sitting now, and I do the same. He gets up and walks around the bed, then kneels down by my side, putting his hands on my knees. “If she can get custody, if we can stop him, would you stay? A few more months, just to give it a try?”
I lift my eyes to his, the pleading hope in his voice making me simultaneously melt and panic. I put my hands on his, then lift them to either side of his face. I blink back the tears that are prickling at my eyes.
“If we knew we were safe, I’d stay as long as you want me,” I whisper.
A boyish smile crosses his face, and it all but tears me to shreds. He pops up, kissing me hard before climbing back in bed. He wraps himself around me again, nuzzling into the back of my neck. And as I clutch onto him, I stare blankly ahead, knowing the hours I actually sleep tonight will be few and far between.
27
Jesse
We wake up late the next morning, rightfully so, since we spent so long fucking and talking. I swear to God, I want to spend every night like that from here on out. Inside her, next to her, wrapped around her. But after I’m fully awake, the reality of the situation rests in my gut like a sack of bricks. I remember that the hypothetical question I asked her about staying with me was just that—hypothetical.
I threw myself out there last night. Asking someone to stay, giving someone the ability to crush me the way I was crushed when Mom and Dad died—it’s not my MO. Not part of my persona. I’m the no-bullshit, no-strings-attached, quick-screw in the parking lot kind of guy. At least I was. Until this tornado of a brunette blew in here a few months ago.
Now I’m vulnerable again. It’s fucking terrifying, but I need her, and my desperation to protect her and to make her happy...it’s more than any fear I have left inside of me. It’s stronger. I guess in some weird way, I never left Baycrest because I was waiting for something. And now I know that something was Lena.
She stirs in my arms, then rolls over to squint at the alarm clock on my nightstand.
“Shit,” she whispers, her eyes closed again. She looks so cute in my big t-shirt, and I wish she never had to put pants back on.
“What?” I ask, leaning over to kiss her neck, her ear, her cheek. She smiles as she reaches a hand up, scratching my head.
“I gotta get up. I told Caleb I’d fish with him today,” she says. I chuckle. “What?”
“Nothin.’ It’s just that it’s not hard to tell you’re from the city whenever you ‘fish,’” I tell her. She smiles and playfully nudges me. “Sorry, but the way you handle the bait is just too good.” I pinch my fingers together, imitating the dainty way she attempts to get the worm on the hook each time. She snorts and nudges me again, then she rolls over on top of me. I place my hands on her ass as she looks down on me.
“Yeah, well, I baited you pretty well I’d say,” she teases, leaning down to kiss me. Her tongue trails my lips as she pulls away, and my body ignites. I moan.
“Yeah, you did,” I say, smiling back and propping a hand behind my head as she hops out of bed to put her own clothes back on. I watch the way she bends over, memorizing every curve of her body. I whistle with satisfaction, and she rolls her eyes, smirking. “I want to take you out tonight.”
She turns to me, eyebrow raised.
“Take me out? Where?”
“Some place nice,” I tell her. “On the boat. Not that hooking up in the barn...and the bay...and the washroom...haven’t been hot.” She smiles. “But I’d like to take you on a real date.”
She tugs her mane up into a bun on the top of her head, stray hairs falling out as she does. God, she’s beautiful.
“Okay,” she smiles. “Millie has the day shift today, but I can go when she gets back.” I nod and smile.
“I’ll be waiting.”
She kisses me again, then disappears out of my bedroom door. I lean back against my headboard for a minute, soaking in the last twenty-four hours. This is going to work. It has to. I want her to see how amazing it would be here—it will be here. I know Josie will figure this out.
I clean up the yard some—mowing this property takes me a few hours on the ride-on, but it’s my favorite chore. Mindless, breezy, the warm Baycrest sun on my bare back and shoulders. It’s home. When Dad was alive, we’d do it together—well actually, when Mom and Dad were alive, we’d do it together. She loved getting on the tractor as much as he and I did.
When I finish the last row I pause to look back at the inn—freshly painted, shutters all straight and repainted a deep green, the trees in bloom. The steps are fixed, and the new porch furniture all points in the same direction. Coby’s lounging in the shade of the house, now that the lawn is manicured and up to Scarlett Rowan standards. This place is alive again, and it’s all thanks to Lena.
I have this urge, now, something I haven’t had since they died. I want to open the doors, plaster a “vacancy” sign, post flyers, get the website rolling again. This place deserves to be seen, to be shared. Weddings in the backyard again, honeymooners, family vacationers, romantic getaways. Except, of course, for sneaky getaways, say by a married man and his mistress. I remember one time, mom checked them in and realized that it was an affair. She couldn’t help herself but mail the “Thanks for Staying with Us” card to his home address, care of he and his wife.
I smile at the memory. Mom was so mischievous, it surprised people. My god, I miss my parents.
I hear laughing toward the house, and I watch as Lena chases Caleb around to the front porch. She catches him, laying him on the ground and tickling his belly as he giggles.
How odd it is. I grew up in this charmed little town, with more room to grow than one kid could ever need. So much love all around me, so much happiness. And here she is, with no real example of love, aside from what she’s taught herself to feel for Millie and Caleb. Yet, she’s teaching me how to feel it again. Picking me up. They stop when they see me, and Caleb begins to trot across the big old yard toward me.
“Whatcha doing, Jesse?” he asks, his cheeks red from playing in the sun. Lena follows close behind, shoving her hands into her jean short pockets. When she does, it lifts the hem of her tank top, and I can see the defined lines of her stomach muscles as she breathes in and out. I force my eyes to peel away.
“Just finished mowing the lawn,” I tell him. He nods.
“I like your tractor,” he says, scratching his little head and tracing the entire body of the mower with his eyes.
“You wanna ride it back to the shed with me?” I ask him, looking to Lena for approval. She smiles and nods.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” he says, jumping up and
down.
“One quick ride, bud, then I gotta take you to your mama. She wants you to have dinner with her at Berta’s,” she says. I smile and nod. Then, it’s our time.
I stick my arm out and let him climb on, pulling him up so he’s sitting on the seat in front of me. I show him how to pull the choke, and switch it into gear. When the machine roars to life, he claps his hands excitedly, then grips onto the steering wheel.
“Hang on tight,” I tell him, giving Lena a quick wink. She smiles back and bites her bottom lip, and Caleb and I pull away. I let him take the mower around a few unnecessary loops before we pull into the shed.
“Great driving, Caleb,” I tell him, once we hop down off it. He smiles. As we’re walking out of the garage, I freeze. I look down and realize that he’s taken my hand. He doesn’t think anything of it, the same as if it were his mom or Lena. But it’s huge for me, and my heart swells into my throat. This kid trusts me.
They can’t leave.
I swallow and give his hand a little squeeze, walking back toward the front of the house.
“I like living with you,” Caleb says matter-of-factly, delivering another blow to my gut. I let out a shaky breath.
“I like it too,” I tell him. He smiles up at me, then squeezes my hand tighter. Lena’s sitting on the porch step and hops up when she sees us coming. I watch her eyes drop to our hands, then meet mine. Her head drops to the side slightly, and her eyes fill with emotion. She smiles at me as we make our way toward her.
“You ready, Mr. Driver?” she asks Caleb. He smiles and nods. “I’m gonna run him to the Shell, then I’ll be back.” I wink at her.
Rowan Revived Page 21
