by Bronwyn Eley
‘I know what I’m in for,’ I responded through gritted teeth. I felt my throat tightening again, but ignored that weakness.
The man shook his head and began stacking books on the table. ‘No, no, no, no.’ With each book stacked, his protests became louder. ‘They never know. They all hope for the best. They live in it, breathe it in. Until, one day,’ he slammed a book down and his head shot up, eyes locking onto mine, ‘they realise they had no idea what they were really in for.’
‘Then why don’t you tell me?’ I unclenched my fists. If I could get answers out of this strange man, I would play his game.
Cocking his head, he asked, ‘What do you know about the Relics?’
I thought back to school, back to what my father had reluctantly told me and what I heard on the working streets. I shrugged. ‘Everything, I guess.’ I knew I was wrong, but I had a feeling that the more frustrated this man was, the more brutally honest he would be.
He barked with laughter, so loud it made me jump. It echoed around the open room. ‘Definitely a guess! Did you know they only teach you what they want you to know in those schools? What he wants you to know?’
‘Then explain it to me,’ I challenged. ‘I’m sure you know a lot about the Relics from the books in this place.’
His face crumpled, so slight I nearly missed it. After a slight pause, he looked around. ‘There are no books on the Relics in here. How I would love to get my hands on them, though.’
After another pause, he began as if telling a story, reminding me of how my father’s voice used to drop low as he recounted dramatic tales for my amusement.
‘The Relics are the only magic in this world. Everybody knows this – but do you know why the Relic can only be used by Lord Rennard, while everyone else around him suffers?’
I shrugged, recalling the scattered information I had collected over the years. ‘Something about the Relic protecting him.’
‘No!’ His outburst surprised me again. ‘The Relic protects his entire bloodline. It sees everyone else as a threat. You, me, his wife. We are all the enemy, and what does one do to their enemies?’ He paused, as if for dramatic effect. ‘They destroy them.’
I resisted rolling my eyes. ‘I know all this. Why don’t you tell me something useful?’
He sighed. ‘Pitiable woman. These are not the important facts. Where does magic come from? It’s not like you’re born with it. You –’ he gestured at me ‘– you were born with brown hair, blue eyes and a snarky expression, but there’s no magic in the mixture. Not for any of us. Why is magic only found in these Relics and nothing else?’
I had never thought about it. They were a part of this world, but they hadn’t been a part of my world, until now.
I shrugged. ‘How could magic be in a person?’
He mirrored my shrug. ‘How can it be in a stone? Where did they come from? Did someone make them? These are the burning questions, Kaylan.’
So he did know my name. It seemed I was famous these days.
‘Why does the Relic act the way it does? Why protect only the bloodline that happens upon it? Why not work to find the most powerful of people and bind to them? Any old oaf could pick up an unpossessed Relic and have it be his. Maybe he does nothing with it – just lives his solitary life on a farm, raising calves to cows before slaughtering them for food. Then the Relic just wastes away into nothing.’
He leaned forward on the table, unblinking. I glanced at his hands. His long fingers were straining. ‘What do the Relics want? Do they want power, or just to belong to someone?’
I let his questions roll over me. No one had ever talked about the Relic as if it were alive. It was a thing. How could a thing want?
‘Now, you find the answers to those questions, and maybe then I’ll come to you. They’re digging holes in my mind.’ He tapped the side of his head. ‘Trust me, one day you will feel those holes forming too.’
‘I don’t think I’ll be around long enough for holes to form.’
Suddenly, his frenzied expression vanished, and a warm face looked back at me. I eyed him, wary of the sudden change.
‘I should go.’ I cracked my aching neck and held up the book that began this confronting discussion.
He merely resumed his work as if I had never walked in the room. I wasn’t sure if I was glad I had or not as I headed for the open door.
‘Keithan,’ the man called.
I looked over my shoulder. ‘Your name?’
With a single nod, he went back to work.
‘See you around, Shadow.’
Chapter 6
My eyes shot open as my breath caught in my throat. Sharp coughs brought me roughly back into consciousness, screaming through an unfamiliar and terrifying pain. I tried not to choke on the hot liquid clogging my throat. I whimpered, the sound a warped gurgle as I choked further, and tears formed as I hurried to my knees. Curled over my bed, the contents of my stomach surged from me.
Unable to catch my breath, I felt weighed down by heavy lungs, my heart beat rising in panic. No one was around to help me – or maybe they wouldn’t even care.
I slammed my hand against my chest, feeling the jolt throughout my body, gasping as air rushed back to my lungs. Not a second later, I broke into sobs, lying down on the damp bed.
It’s already happening. Too soon.
Too soon.
The throbbing in my chest slowly dulled as my lungs greedily took in more air. With shaky breaths, I looked at the mess below, unable to see much in the hazy darkness. I could certainly smell it. I brought a clean section of my arm to my nose.
Looking at my bed, I decided to deal with it later. The sun would be up soon and I was expected. I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathhouse.
Standing outside the dining hall an hour later, I looked down at the dishes in my hands. Two plates this morning. Lord Rennard wasn’t dining alone. One of his captains, perhaps. It wouldn’t be an easy thing, dining with Lord Rennard. Not an honour or privilege, in my opinion. I couldn’t imagine trying to stomach food with the Relic’s effects searing through my body. It was hard enough remaining upright.
Without a free hand, I turned and used my body to open the heavy door, focusing on not dropping the plates. Lord Rennard sat at the head of the table as always. He looked up at me when I entered but said nothing.
A woman sat at the other end of the table, closest to me. Her hands were wrapped in each other, resting on the table. She turned her head slightly to see me.
I was staring and I knew it.
I had heard of Lord Rennard’s wife, but had yet to see her for myself. She wasn’t much older than I was. It should have surprised me, considering Lord Rennard’s advancing years, but it didn’t.
Her white skin was enough to ensure she stood out in this city. I was pleased to notice her blue eyes, similar to mine – a rare sight in this city. People always commented on my eyes. How unusual, they would say. Are you sure you’re from here? I had my father’s eyes, I would tell them. There was a long line of travellers in his lineage. His family had settled in Edriast only a few generations ago, before Lord Rennard’s family had taken over the city.
But what struck me most was her hair. Nearly as white as her skin, with sunlight tones throughout. Her smile broke my concentration. I could see the allure that must have caught Lord Rennard’s attention, and I got the feeling she was used to people staring. I could picture what I looked like, staring at her as if she wouldn’t notice. People looked at Shae like that all the time.
Rennard’s wife was from Stynos, the furthest city across the sea. Trade was still heavy between our two cities, but it was rare that merchants from Stynos made the journey. Merchants local to our region were hired to transport the cargo from our city to the next, passing it along to others like a rally, each merchant only taking it part of the way.
I looked at the plates in my hands, then to the lady, then to Lord Rennard. After a brief hesitation, I walked to Lord Rennard and placed his meal
before him. My body ached immediately. Moving quickly, I returned to the other end and presented his wife’s meal, avoiding eye contact.
‘Thank you, Kaylan,’ she said softly. I had to look at her now. I didn’t want to speak, so I returned her smile briefly before walking back to Lord Rennard’s side. I took a deep and silent breath and settled in behind his chair. Before long, my eyes began to water as my head throbbed. I rubbed my neck, hoping to crack it and relieve the pain.
Glancing up, I noticed her eyes were on me. I dropped my hand and focused on the floor.
‘Will you join me for a ride later?’ Lord Rennard asked his wife as she picked at the meat before her. I didn’t blame her. I wondered how often she would be exposed to the magic of the Relic. She was, after all, not part of his bloodline. The Relic would cause her the same pain it caused me.
Where did she go when she wasn’t with Lord Rennard? And what did she do? I tried to imagine a life being married to a man who caused you pain with every meeting.
My eyes flicked to the stone around his neck. Perhaps it was just the light, but it seemed a very different colour than before. Still yellow, but lighter, more diluted.
‘Not today, Ren.’ She took a sip of her water. ‘I would like to wander the gardens.’
Ren.
‘I sometimes wonder if you care more about those gardens than you do about me,’ Lord Rennard teased. I could see the edge of his smile from my position.
‘Of course not, Ren.’
Her voice never wavered. She remained calm, with a sweet smile and caressing tone. I wondered if Ren could see the look in her eyes. Maybe he chose to ignore it. No man wants to believe his wife indifferent to him. ‘I will see you this evening when you return.’
Lord Rennard nodded, satisfied. They went back to eating their meals in relative silence.
After returning their dishes to the kitchen, I made my way to the stables to meet the pair, interrupting a private moment as I entered. Lord Rennard held her close, their bodies a mess of rich fabrics, clean faces pressed together as he greedily took what he wanted. She was tiny compared to him. I averted my eyes and waited by the entrance.
When I heard movement again, I peered up. Lord Rennard smugly watched his wife’s flushed face. I chuffed low, so only I could hear.
Men.
She watched the gardens silently while I tacked his horse. Rennard made a few attempts at conversation but settled for playing with the loose strands of her hair. When I was done, Rennard mounted his horse. He leaned down and cupped her face. ‘Until tonight, Jesper. Make sure you clean up after your walk.’
As he cantered out of sight, Jesper released a breath. She glanced over and gave me a weak smile before walking to the stable’s grand entrance. Leaning against it, she tucked her arms close to her body and stilled, gaze fixed on the gardens.
There were things to do before Lord Rennard returned – cleaning his horse’s stall, for one – but instead I approached Jesper. ‘Is there anything you need, my lady?’
She glanced at me, tucking her free hair behind her ear to see me better, her smile sweet as she considered. ‘No, I’m fine. Thank you, Kaylan.’ With a sideways glance at the garden, she sighed and pushed off the wall.
‘Enjoy your walk,’ I mumbled, smiling tightly. With a quick nod, Jesper headed toward the lusciously thick hedges that encased what I assumed were the gardens, with their endless green bushes, trees peering over hedges and archways, flowers of all colours spreading in every direction. It looked beautiful.
This whole place was beautiful. The stables were made from thick, rich timber. The grass was cut to perfection. The fences were neatly assembled, unlike so many in the Lower Quarter farms. Everything was so orderly.
A loud noise caught my attention. A black mass had crested a small hill to my right, blurring with speed as it drew closer. Dogs, I realised after a stunned moment. Too many to count, several dozen at least, all running with alarming speed down the hill, a tall figure running among them. Somehow – I guessed with the aid of his long legs – he picked up speed, pulling in front and calling for the dogs to follow as he wove his way to the left. Every one of them followed instantly.
He noticed me watching. His smile disappeared briefly, and I could see the curiosity on his face. But then he raised an arm and waved, smile returning.
I didn’t return the gesture, gawking at the sight instead. The dogs’ limbs were thin, showing off the muscles that defined their legs. They looked powerful, almost frightening from where I stood, and yet the man was completely at ease. More than that, he was enjoying himself, a grin flashing across his features as he assessed them over his shoulder.
He veered left, calling for the dogs to follow, and headed straight for the stables. Straight for me. As he approached, I noticed the dirt and mud covering not only the dogs but him as well. His shaggy brown hair bounced as he swung around. He held out a hand, palm flat. The dogs slowed. Now that I could see them up close, their eyes were too kind to cause any stir of fear in me. Their coats were mostly black, beautifully streaked with deep browns. There had to be at least two dozen, a night sky of starry eyes, sagging tongues and energy.
‘Wait,’ he commanded. Every single one of them stopped and sat. Even sitting, each of their heads came up to around my waist, and I wasn’t small by any means.
‘Good!’ the man praised cheerfully. Then he turned to me. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi,’ I replied warily.
Running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, he rested hands on hips, chest heaving. ‘Jesper went to her gardens?’ he asked, throwing a quick glance to the hedge archway behind him. I nodded. He squinted against the glaring sun, mouth quirked in a lopsided smile. ‘I thought that was her. I was over there with the dogs.’ He pointed. ‘Glad to see she’s returned. When did you two arrive?’
You two?
I eyed his towering figure, his skin glistening with sweat. One look at his calm features was enough to tell me that he didn’t realise who I was. The lack of pity in his expression gave him away. Instead, he seemed curious.
When did you two arrive?
He thought I served Lady Jesper, not her Lord. Surely he would have heard of the new Shadow, quite possibly even knew her name, but he had never seen her. Me.
Maybe I was staring, but I couldn’t help myself. I hadn’t seen eyes like his for so long: kind, but free from pity. If he didn’t know who I was, then he could simply act normal.
And so could I.
‘This morning,’ I blurted, finally answering his question.
He nodded, dragging a hand through his hair. A stray strand fell into his eyes. ‘How long are you staying?’
‘I’m not sure,’ I replied with a shrug.
What are you doing?
‘As long as Lord Rennard says, huh?’ he said with a smile. ‘At least until her birthday, I guess. We’re really looking forward to the celebration. A bit of dancing never hurt anyone.’
An involuntary smile emerged and words tumbled from my mouth. ‘You’ve never seen me dance.’
The man barked a laugh, very much like his dogs, and shook his head. ‘We can work on it.’ He smiled and threw another look over his shoulder. One of the dogs had gotten to her feet and taken a few steps forward. He stretched out his arm, finger pointed at her. ‘Wait.’
She licked her lips once, looked at the ground and then sat. I didn’t blame her. The rest of the dogs hadn’t moved; apart from licking each other’s faces every few moments, they were still.
‘There’s always one.’ The man turned to face me with a huge grin. ‘And she’s always the one.’ After a moment, he stuck out his hand. ‘I’m Markus.’
Kaylan. Your name is Kaylan.
But he didn’t have to know that. What if I told him who I was now? What would I say? Hello, I’m Kaylan. I’m Lord Rennard’s new Shadow. You’re shaking the hand of a dead woman. Creepy, huh?
It was the truth. A horrible truth that everyone in this castle knew. When they looked
at me, they saw my body decaying in the ground. That’s where I would end up soon enough. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to any of them while they knew that. Every time I considered it, the look in their eyes stopped me.
Hello, I’m Kaylan. It was easy enough to say. But what they would hear was: Hello, I’m Kaylan, the dying girl.
I reached out and took his hand. ‘Shae,’ I blurted.
Shae? Shae? You’re a fool.
He chuckled and slipped his hand out of mine. ‘Strong grip you got there, Shae.’
A Blacksmith’s hands ...
I kept my mouth shut.
‘Last I spoke to Jesper, she was having trouble finding a new lady’s maid. Glad to see she found someone at last.’ He put his hand back on his hip. ‘You’re a local, though?’
He gestured to my bronze skin, a clear sign I was from Edriast.
‘Yes,’ I replied. ‘Lirr sent out word that Lady Jesper was looking.’
This is unkind. Selfish.
‘Lirr?’ He nodded. It was a shot in the dark, but Lirr managed the Lord’s manor. It made sense that she would help her Lady find a new maid. ‘She’s good like that. I bet it didn’t take her long to find you.’
I shrugged, lips pressing together, no lie forthcoming this time. It was cruel to lie to him but, in this moment, he was just a man and I was just a woman. I knew that he would likely soon find out who I really was. But for now, I was enjoying the uncomplicated way he looked at me. It was the first conversation I had had since coming here that didn’t feel wrong. Tainted.
‘So, are they yours?’ I gestured to the animals.
An easy smile lit his face again. ‘Oh, them? They just enjoy following me around.’ He chuckled. ‘I’m the Master of the Hunt.’
‘Of course.’ I dipped my head, partly out of respect, partly to hide my smile. So he was a Nobleman. A sweaty, simply dressed Nobleman, but well above my position nonetheless. ‘They do what you tell them, huh?’
Markus shot a look to the obedient creatures behind him. ‘Most of the time,’ he smiled. ‘Wouldn’t be good at my job if they didn’t listen to me.’
