by Roxie Noir
Fury clawed its way through Nathan, and he only just fought down his bear, watching Leah wring her hands and look at the ground.
Whatever he’s saying to her, I want to murder him, Nathan thought, barely under control.
Is he just doing this to show us she’s cowed? To prove he can be a man?
Men don’t need to berate women, he thought, breathing hard.
Next to him, Evan had stopped talking as well, also watching the spectacle unfold.
Then, Ian went back to the men he’d been talking to. Evan went on about tables, but Nathan watched Leah. He didn’t want to, but couldn’t help himself: the way she moved, the thought of her perfect, warm, curvy body beneath that simple dress.
She walked to the table, got a big piece of blueberry pie, and then delivered it to Ian.
Then she kissed him on the cheek.
Nathan felt himself actually begin to shift at that, his bear roaring in pure rage, but he closed his eyes and forced it down.
Not here, not now.
Then Leah walked into the house.
“Excuse me,” Nathan told Evan, and walked toward the house himself, forcing himself not to break into a run.
The back door went right into the kitchen, where Leah’s mother was standing and directing the veritable army of her children.
Nathan listened hard for Leah’s footsteps, trying to follow her exquisite scent through the house, but it was all chaos and pie, every scent mingling together.
“Hi, Nathan,” said Leah’s mom, her apron covered in flour and her own gray-streaked hair curly and wild.
“Hello, Mrs. Whitehorse,” he said, his eyes roving over everything, trying to figure out where Leah had gone. He’d only seen two rooms of the house, but he knew there were two more stories.
“The bathroom’s through that door and on the left, just next to the staircase,” she said, pointing. “Or were you looking for something else?”
“That was it,” he said, forcing a smile. He hoped it looked normal. “Thanks.”
He followed her directions out of the kitchen and into a hallway, finally out of sight of the kitchen.
Leah wasn’t on this floor. She’d probably run up to her bedroom. What better place to hide?
He took the stairs two at a time, trying hard not to make any noise to arouse Mrs. Whitehorse’s suspicions, but he also figured that the racket in the kitchen would take care of that.
The bedrooms and the bathroom on the second floor were empty. He went up another flight, still trying to be quiet.
The attic was smaller, just a hallway with two doors and a bedroom.
The bedroom was empty. He even checked behind the door, but no one was in there. It didn’t smell like Leah had been in there lately, either.
Then Nathan heard a very, very soft noise coming from another door in the hallway. He stepped closer, inhaling as he went.
There she was.
Softly, he knocked on the door.
“Just a minute,” Leah’s voice came out. He could tell that she was crying, but he bit back his rage at Ian.
“It’s me,” he called, softly. He wondered if she’d recognize his voice.
There was a long, long pause. No noise came from behind the door. Nathan didn’t even know whether it was a closet or a bathroom or something else.
Maybe she doesn’t want me here either, he thought. What have I ever made better for her?
He leaned his forehead against the door, praying that she’d open up. It would be easier if she didn’t. He’d have tried, and then, maybe, they could both just get on with their lives.
Not that he wanted to get on with his life. Now that he’d met Leah, there was almost nothing he wanted less than his old life, the one where he took care of Brock’s problems and had a different woman in his bed every week.
“Leah? Please?” he said softly, into the crack between the door and the doorframe.
The lock clicked back, and very slowly, the door opened.
Leah’s beautiful eyes were bright red, her whole face puffy and pink, her hair sticking up at every angle. She’d been wearing eyeliner, and it was streaked black down her face.
“Come in,” she whispered, stepping back into the tiny bathroom.
Nathan closed the door behind him, sliding the lock into place, and took Leah in his arms, feeling her heartbeat against his skin.
“I’ll murder him,” he said, his voice thick in his throat. Seeing Leah cry nearly overwhelmed him.
“He’s my husband,” she said softly. As soon as he’d wrapped his arms around her, it felt like she’d simply melted into him.
“Not yet,” Nathan said.
“He’s going to be,” she said, sounding so small and defeated that it broke Nathan’s heart. “I’m out of options. Either I marry him, or my father exiles me. If I refuse Ian, I’ll be back in the Yukon by this time tomorrow, and not even my own family will talk to me,” she went on.
He just held her tighter.
“It happened to my mother’s aunt,” she went on, her voice listless. “She ran away from the man she was betrothed to, and they shunned her because of it. I only met her once, when I was a little girl, at my grandmother’s funeral. She lived alone in the woods and she looked so, so sad.”
Nathan stroked her hair, the wild curls springing out between his fingers. He could almost feel her despair seeping through his skin, digging its hooks into him as well.
Just stay here, with me, he thought. I can protect you.
He knew he didn’t fully understand, though. And he knew that Jonah Whitehorse wasn’t a man who was likely to take well to his daughter disobeying him.
Unable to think of the right thing to say, he laced his fingers through hers and kissed the back of her hand. Leah sighed
“I don’t want to marry him,” she said, shaking her head. Her voice broke. “I don’t.”
Then, something dawned on Nathan.
“Leah,” he said. “I might have the answer.”
She looked up at him again, her big eyes blinking.
“It’s kind of crazy,” he said.
“What is it?” she asked, their fingers still curled around each other.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, Nathan thought.
It was the most right thing he’d ever done, though. He knew that much deep in his bones, right down to the very center of his being.
“Promise you won’t freak out?” he said.
Leah smiled and half-laughed through her tears.
“I’m already freaking out,” she said. “How about I promise not to freak out more?”
“I’ll take it,” he said.
20
Leah
Leah watched, confused, as Nathan suddenly lowered himself to the floor of the tiny bathroom, kneeling on one knee on a very ugly light pink bathmat. The soles of his shoes were against the wooden door, and Leah had to take a step back, her feet going slightly around the bowl of the toilet, her hand still in his.
Apparently, whatever his idea was, it involved getting on the floor of a bathroom.
“Marry me,” he said, gazing up at her.
Leah’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at him for seconds on end.
Finally, she spoke up.
“What?” she asked.
“Marry me,” he said, and then he licked his lips and looked down at the ground, collecting himself for a moment. “I know it’s kind of nuts, and if things were normal then I think we’d probably wait a year or something and I could propose properly and get a ring and take you out to dinner or however people propose, and I’d probably know your middle name—“
“Nicole,” Leah said.
“What?”
“My middle name is Nicole.”
“Marry me, Leah Nicole,” he said.
Leah had no idea what to do. Every cell of her body, every fiber in her being, was screaming ‘say yes!’, but she couldn’t get her mouth to comply. She hardly knew Nathan, for starters, and then there was the
matter of Ian and the betrothal.
“How?” she asked, bewildered. “There’s — I’m already—”
She gestured vaguely toward the bathroom’s tiny window, at the barbecue still happening outside.
“We’ll elope,” he said. “I’ll come get you tonight. There’s an Indian casino between here and Anchorage. They’ve got a chapel.”
Despite herself, Leah started to smile.
“You’re crazy,” she said, wiping away tears with one hand.
“Crazy about you,” he said, and winked at her.
Leah laughed out loud.
“Cheeseball,” she said.
“Say yes,” Nathan said, still on one knee on the bathroom floor. “We’ll figure everything else out. Say yes. Marry me.”
Leah was still open-mouthed, trying to force her mouth into the shape of yes but she couldn’t, not quite, even though her entire being was willing her to.
“My father will be furious.”
“Forget him. I’ll protect you. Say yes.”
Leah took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“Okay,” she said. “Yes.”
Nathan sprang to his feet and before Leah knew it, she was being picked up as Nathan started to twirl her, only for her feet to bang into the shower stall.
“Ow!” she said, laughing.
“I got carried away,” Nathan said, and he put her down and kissed her hard.
Leah wrapped her hands around his head and did her best to draw him down, into herself. She had no idea what she was getting herself into, but somehow it felt incredibly right, it felt perfect.
Nathan broke away from her, both of them breathing hard, and leaned his forehead against hers.
“Hey,” he said, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Leah said, the words coming out so easily she could barely believe it.
There was a loud knock on the door.
“Leah?” said her father’s voice, so loud she felt like it shook the whole attic.
“Yes, daddy?” she asked. Her heart beat faster in her chest, and she started to panic.
He couldn’t find the two of them alone together, in a bathroom.
“Are you all right up here?”
“I’m fine,” she called. Leah tugged on Nathan’s arm and pointed to the shower. He got the hint and stepped in silently, pulling the curtain shut behind himself.
“Someone said they heard sounds coming from up here.”
I can’t get even a moment to myself, Leah thought. She’d have been furious if she wasn’t so giddy.
Certain that Nathan was hidden, she opened the door. On the other side, Jonah Whitehorse saw her and frowned.
“You’ve been crying,” he said.
“Just nerves,” she told him, eyes on the floor.
“Leah, listen to me,” he said, touching her under the chin and tilting her face up. Leah flexed her jaw, grinding he teeth in anger, but she did nothing. What could she do?
“Your ancestors have all done this,” he said, sternly. “Arranged marriage is a long, happy tradition, and your union will bring our clans together. Your mother did it. Your sisters did it, and now that it’s your turn, I expect better of you,” he said.
“Yes, father,” Leah said quietly.
“You’re missed at the barbecue,” Jonah went on. “Wipe your face off and go back downstairs.”
Leah nodded, and he let go of her face. She turned to the sink, taking toilet paper and wiping her eyeliner from where it had run, under her eyes.
Her father stood in the hallway and watched her.
She prayed that Nathan wouldn’t do anything — cough, sneeze, make a movement.
Finally, with her face clean, she left the bathroom and descended the stairs, her father close behind. Right before they left the house to return to the yard, he took her by the arm, stopping her for a moment.
“Respect your husband,” he said.
“He’s not my husband yet,” she said. It was the most she’d ever defied her father.
His grip tightened.
“He will be,” he said, and then descended the steps into the yard.
Not anymore, thought Leah, a strange lightness taking hold in her heart. Not now.
She followed her father outside, and even though she spent the rest of the barbecue hovering at Ian’s elbow and getting him more lemonade whenever he wanted it, she felt cheerful, almost giddy.
It was nearly ten thirty when she found the note on her bed, scribbled on a page torn out of the book she’d been reading.
Meet me on the road where I left my bike the other night. Bring anything you need. Midnight.
Love you,
Nathan
Down below she could hear the sounds of the rest of her family slowly getting ready for bed, brushing their teeth. Her sisters doing the last of the dishes, leaving a couple to soak in the sink overnight.
As quietly as she could, Leah rolled a few of her dresses into a neat pile, along with underwear and socks and a few personal effects.
For her wedding dress, she grabbed the blue one that she’d gotten betrothed in. She hated that it had that associated with it, but it was by far the nicest thing she had available. The dress she was supposed to wear to marry Ian in was somewhere downstairs, being tended to by her sisters.
Besides, she’d been wearing the blue when she met him. That had to count for something.
Finally, everything downstairs was quiet, and Leah didn’t think she could wait another moment. She imagined Nathan deciding she wasn’t coming and getting back on his bike at ten after midnight.
When she reached the bottom floor, she realized that the light was still on in the den, back behind the staircase, by the kitchen. Standing on the bottom step, she froze. Leah knew that someone in that room couldn’t see her if she stayed on the staircase, and the front door was only a few paces away to the front of her, but what if they could see her? What if they heard the door shut?
The screen door practically beckoned to her, promising freedom outside of it.
Freedom and Nathan, waiting for her on the road. Waiting to making her his, once and for all.
That was the point of getting married. Her father wouldn’t dare to try and undo an official mating union. He couldn’t. Nothing could.
“We always preferred to stay out of the way of the humans,” her father was saying. The topic sounded familiar, and it came up a lot when different shifter clans came together.
“Hmm,” said another voice, and Leah felt cold shoot down her spine.
It was Ian.
“Most of the humans in Fjords have some sort of unofficial knowledge,” he was saying. “There are old Native American legends about shifters, that sort of thing. Noting official, though.”
“We’ve worked hard in Yukon City to keep it to a minimum,” her father said.
They didn’t sound like they were moving. As best Leah could tell, they were sitting on the couch together, and her super-sharp nose could just barely pick up a hint of alcohol. Whiskey, maybe; she certainly wasn’t an expert.
She knew her hypocrite father kept a bottle in the house, though.
“I agree with you,” Ian was saying.
Brown noser, thought Leah.
“We shouldn’t let any humans know that we exist,” he went on.
Satisfied that they wouldn’t see her, Leah hoisted her bag over her shoulder and studied the door. It was a metal screen door, the kind that would slam shut loudly if you let it.
She slid her shoes off and put them in her bag. Then she took a deep breath and, on her tiptoes, crossed the two steps to the front door.
As slowly as she could, she pushed in the latch, exhaling softly when it went in silently.
Then, she pushed the door open, a millimeter at a time. She could still hear Ian and her father talking gravely about shifter-human relations, but she wasn’t listening to their words.
The door was open just enough for her to get out, so she did, praying that the
old wood of the house’s front porch wouldn’t creak under her weight.
Now, all that was left was to carefully shut the door, making sure the lock didn’t click too loudly, and she was free.
In moments, she was running across the yard, her feet getting soaked in the dewy grass, but she didn’t care. She ran until she reached the bushes along the road and battled her way through.
On the road, she looked left and right, though she didn’t see anything yet. It had been ten ’til midnight when she’d left, and the run through the yard had left her breathless and disarrayed.
She smoothed her skirts down and walked along the road, trying to move quickly while she caught her breath. It wouldn’t do to meet Nathan sweaty and out of breath, right?
Then, she saw it: up ahead in the road, a car pulled off to the side.
He didn’t bring the bike? She wondered.
As soon as he saw her, he waved, and she waved back, grinning and unable to keep it inside any more.
When she got to him, Nathan leaned down and kissed her, his thumb on her chin, his lips soft and pliant. Leah felt like he was holding something back, for her benefit, and she pressed herself into him, that warm, liquid feeling traveling through her body again.
“You came,” he said.
“Of course I came,” she said.
“I’m going to pick you up and twirl you now,” he said, his face very serious.
Then he did, hoisting the curvy Leah like she was made of feathers. She gasped and laughed, suddenly flying through the air in a circle, trees and stars and the empty road flashing by in front of her face.
Then he put her down and kissed her again. This time, she was the one to break away first.
“Hey, focus,” she said, her big eyes finding his in the dark. “We’ve gotta go before they realize I’m gone.”
“Don’t we have all night?” Nathan asked. “They won’t know you’re gone until morning.”
Leah shook her head, sobering up for a moment.
“My father and Ian were still downstairs,” she said, her voice suddenly dropping to a whisper. “Talking about human-shifter relations.”
