Abandon

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Abandon Page 7

by Moors, Jerusha


  The carriage halted again and Aubrey got out first so that he could hand her down. He could have let the footman perform the task and she almost said so, but she could see that he was waiting for her to say the same. Lucy called good night to George from the sidewalk and the carriage pulled away. She fidgeted with her reticle, trying to pull out the front door key with her gloves on, while Aubrey watched her, arms crossed.

  “Problem, sweetheart?” he asked.

  “No, and I did not give you permission to call me that.” She finally grasped the damn key only to drop it to the sidewalk. Aubrey immediately scooped it up from where it had fallen.

  “That belongs to me,” Lucy said holding out her hand.

  “Of course.” Aubrey’s eyes were twinkling. “Just let me see you to the door.” He took Lucy’s arm and compelled her to follow him up the stairs. At the door he ceremoniously placed the key into the lock and turned the handle. “My dear,” he said as he bowed her through the door.

  Before she had a chance to react he had stepped into the hallway behind her. Mrs. Brundage had left a bracket of candles burning in a sconce on the wall at the foot of the stairs. A single candlestick sat on the table beneath it for Lucy to light her way to her bedroom.

  “Where is your butler, your footmen?” Aubrey asked quietly. Lucy looked down at her feet and mumbled something.

  “Lucy, where are your servants?” Aubrey moved a little closer to her, and Lucy busied herself with lighting her candlestick from the sconce and taking it into the parlor behind her. She set the candle on a table and sank down onto a comfortable sofa. Aubrey followed her into the room and sat next to her. She startled and moved further away, but forced herself to stop. She lifted her chin and looked at him.

  “I’m staying here with just the housekeeper. She and her husband care for the house when the family is not here. There is no need for more servants when it is just me.”

  Aubrey wrinkled his brow. “But what about your maid?”

  Lucy stood and went over to a cabinet with several bottles. Without asking him, she poured a whiskey for Aubrey and brought it back over to him.

  “I don’t need a maid most of the time so I left her in Yorkshire. Mrs. Brundage aids me on the few occasions when I require assistance with a dress or my hair. Most of what I wear is simple enough to put on or take off…” she trailed off as she saw Aubrey’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. He hastily took a sip of his whiskey.

  Lucy blushed and nervously plucked at her dress. Aubrey put down his glass and put his hand over hers. She stilled, conscious of his hot hand resting on her thigh.

  “Lucy, what happened to you? Why are you not married with a cadre of little children hanging onto your skirts?” He watched as she jerked and then drew in a deep breathe, but she did not answer him. Instead, a single tear ran down from the corner of her eye. She closed her eyes and tipped her head forward.

  “What do you want from me?” Lucy whispered. “Why will you not leave me alone? Why did you come back?” She brought her hands to her face, hiding from him.

  “Do not cry, please do not.” Aubrey put his arm around Lucy’s shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She resisted for a moment and then cuddled into him.

  “I am not crying,” she sniffed into his chest. “I just do not want you to look at me.”

  Aubrey held her, not sure what to say. She was always so brave, his Lucy, and he had not anticipated this collapse. But he could not leave her alone. He had always meant her to be his and he was quite sure that she believed that also. She was just fighting the reality of their emotions.

  She lifted her head, her hands on his chest and her eyes so sad. Aubrey could not help but lean forward and touch his lips to hers, just a gentle pressure. She gasped and like that, she was a searing fire in his arms. Her mouth opened and her tongue invaded his mouth, sweeping against his. She whimpered and tried to move closer, so he picked her up, never breaking contact with her sweet mouth, and pulled her onto his lap. Aubrey has hard beneath her rump and he could not help pressing up against her. She was almost frantic, tearing at his cravat, trying to touch his hot skin.

  “Easy sweetheart, we have time,” Aubrey crooned at her. She attacked his mouth again as if she did not want him to speak. That was when Aubrey realized that this was wrong, Lucy was too overwrought. He pulled away from her, gently caressing her face, and looked into her eyes. He had always been able to read Lucy’s eyes and now he knew. She was begging him, but she did not know what it was that she wanted. Her feelings for him were still too fraught and confused.

  Gradually the passion left her and color rose on her neck. She looked away, embarrassed by her actions. She moved to leave his lap, but he kept his arm around her waist, holding her in place.

  “Let me go please,” she said stiffly, still not meeting his eyes.

  “No, Lucy, I will never let you go. You were always mine and I am yours.”

  “I do not even know what you are saying. It was easy enough to leave me before. Why do you bother with me now? Is this a cruel game, to see if you can win me back just to prove your power over me?” She leapt from his arms and hurried across the room.

  “Well, you have won. As you see I easily succumbed to your wiles again without much effort on your part at all. I am a wanton and now you can leave me.” Lucy hissed at him, her shame and bitterness spilling out from deep inside.

  Aubrey stood, but did not move towards her, he just studied her where she stood in the dim corner of the room. She had her fist clenched and her head was up, eyes flashing fire at him. She was magnificent and he wondered again how he had ever left her, ever believed the lies.

  “Lucy, love, it is not a game with me. I want you and I want you badly. And I want you for always, as far as I can see into the future.”

  She put her hands up, tucking in curls that had come loose, her eyes assessing him. “I see.” She walked towards him. “What if I say I will be with you, but only until the wedding?”

  “What?” She had shocked him. Aubrey thought frantically, trying to decipher her meaning.

  Lucy drew in a breath. “I will be with you in a carnal way, but only until the wedding is over. Then we will part ways and never meet again.”

  “I want to think about it.” Her eyes widened and she looked unsure. He continued, “I will meet with you tomorrow morning to discuss my terms.” Aubrey was not going to agree until he had looked at every angle of her proposition.

  Lucy nodded with a quick shake of her head. “That will do. Then we will meet in the morning.”

  “Definitely.” He lifted her hand and laid a warm kiss on the back. "Until tomorrow."

  Chapter Twelve

  Lucy had tossed and turned the entire night, unable to stopping thinking about her proposal and wondering what Aubrey’s answer would be. After all what did he have to lose? He could spend his next week in her bed at night and what man in his right mind would decline the chance to bed a woman, any woman? Admittedly, she did not have that much experience with men, but she did not think that most males would refuse her scheme if a woman offered the same to them.

  She could feel her cheeks heat thinking of the brazen manner she had propositioned him. But trying to ignore him had not worked. Perhaps he would decide that she was no longer worth pursuing. He had been somewhat cool last evening, though she had not expected that he would throw her down on the floor and ravish her. Lucy had not forgiven Aubrey for leaving her, but maybe she would be able to purge him from her thoughts if they spent their nights together for the next week. Perhaps this was the best way to get her out of her system.

  Seeing him again after five years had stirred up all sorts of feelings that she thought suppressed from her life, visions that now only appeared in the occasional dream. She had made her peace, she thought, and her life was fine as it was. She never expected to marry and she had a fulfilling life and a daily routine in Yorkshire. If she had occasionally yearned for something different, it was of no matter.

 
; She finished dressing and wandered down the stairs to the kitchen. Since it was just her and Mr. and Mrs. Brundage in the house, she had fallen into the habit of taking her breakfast in the kitchen at the wide table. There was no sense in making the housekeeper prepare a tray for her or set up the dining room. Lucy was quite comfortable with the Brundages whom she had known since she was a child.

  Mrs. Brundage was busy kneading bread at the table. When Richard and his family were in residence, there were many more servants and a cook to prepare their meals. But the housekeeper was quite capable of providing nourishing and flavorful meals for Lucy.

  “Good morning!” Lucy said brightly.

  “And a good morning to you, my lady.” The rosy-cheeked woman smiled at Lucy. “What would you like to eat this day? Anything special? I have kippers left from Mr. Brundage’s meal.”

  “Thank you, no to the kippers. I think I would just like some fruit and a cup of chocolate. My stomach is a little unsettled this morning and I did not sleep well, so I would like something light to eat.”

  “Right away, my lady. Would you rather have tea? I can make up a cup that would calm your insides.” Mrs. Brundage was practically clucking at Lucy.

  “No, the chocolate will be fine. I do not often indulge in a sweet treat and I am enjoying it while I can do so here.”

  Mrs. Brundage looked at her oddly and Lucy realized that chocolate was available at her brother Richard’s table every morning and the housekeeper likely knew it. She bit her lip, hoping that the woman would not inquire further. She was already suspicious of her because Lucy had not brought her maid or any other servants. Richard had sent her in his coach so Mrs. Brundage accepted that the Earl was aware of her visit, but in the housekeeper’s experience young ladies did not travel without their maids. Unless she went out with Harriet, Lucy stayed in the house as she did not want to offend the woman any further.

  “I think I will just take a tray out into the garden. It is such a beautiful day.” Lucy decided it would be better to be away from Mrs. Brundage’s scrutiny.

  The housekeeper gave her a shrewd glance, but nodded and prepared the tray. She held open the door while Lucy passed out into the back where there was a small garden. Her sister-in-law Anne often broke her fast out there when in town or they had their tea at the small table set out there in the shade.

  She set the tray down and sat down with a sigh. Aubrey had said that he would render his decision today, but she did not know when she would see him - unless at the ball they were both supposed to attend tonight? Lucy was not sure whether at this point she wanted him to say yes or to refuse her. She wanted to believe that if he said yes, then they would both be ready to move on after the wedding. But there was a small niggle of doubt that while he might be ready to leave her again, the experience might leave her devastated again. At least she would be prepared this time. She picked up her chocolate and took a sip.

  Aubrey put down his brush and stepped back, studying the portrait on his easel critically. He still did not have the look in her eyes exactly. But her lips curved in a smile that he hoped to see her mirror later that day. Her proposition had surprised, even shocked him, but there was not a chance in the world that he was going to refuse her. He had asked for time only to ensure that Lucy knew her own mind. If she insisted on the one week deadline, he would reluctantly agree all the while knowing that he would never fulfill that pledge. Lucy was his forever even if she did not yet acknowledge it. Aubrey knew that there would never be another woman for him.

  He walked over to the window. He had slept soundly and arisen early this morning, eager to work at his painting. He glanced to the left to the backyard of the adjoining house. Richard, Earl of Wakefield seldom came to town, much like his father before him. His townhouse was only half the size of Aubrey’s home since the family rarely used it, only when the House of Lords was in session. While Aubrey had a sizable garden in the back of his house, Wakefield had a tiny plot of land. Lady Lovell's gardeners kept Aubrey's garden in rigorous control, sterile in precise rows of plants and nary a flower to be found. Wakefield’s oasis rioted in bright colors and green leaves that straggled across the yard and should have overwhelmed the tiny plot, but instead gave it a life that never crossed the wall between the houses.

  There was a movement next door and he saw Lucy sitting out in the sunlight sipping a cup of something, tea maybe. He smiled, watching her stare out at her garden, knowing that she was unaware of his presence. He turned and threw a cloth over the easel and pulled off the smock he used to protect his clothes, then passed out of the room. He went down the stairs and through the hallway to the sunny conservatory off the back corner of the house. There was a door and path there that lead to the back gate. From there he could step down the lane to the gateway into Wakefield’s backyard.

  The gate was unlocked and Aubrey walked into the yard and over to where Lucy sat at a small table. She looked up startled as the gate opened and he saw her tense as she recognized him. She put both her hands in her lap and waited for him to seat himself.

  Aubrey did not intend to tease Lucy, but he was glad to see that his decision mattered to her. She would not be so edgy if she did not care and that gave him hope that he was on the right path.

  “Good morning, Lucy,” he said. “Such a lovely day, don’t you think?”

  Lucy blinked, but replied with a slight edge, “Yes, lovely.”

  “And how did you sleep last night?”

  “That is a somewhat personal question to ask a lady!” Yes, she was definitely irritated, Aubrey thought. And she did not look as if she had slept very well last night.

  “Excuse me, my lady, but if I concede to your request, then I think that personal questions might become formalities.”

  Two spots of red appeared on Lucy’s cheeks and her eyes narrowed. Aubrey liked to see Lucy unsettled, but he thought it might be time for a strategic retreat.

  “But never mind all that. I have thought a lot about your proposal and I have decided to agree with some conditions of my own.”

  “What conditions?” Lucy asked.

  “If we decide to continue our liaison after the wedding, then that decision will suspend your condition about one week as the duration of our dalliance.”

  “That won’t happen. I will be returning home after Harriet’s wedding.”

  “Perhaps I will be able to charm you into staying in London. Or if I return home to Lovell Moor then we will certainly be in proximity.” Aubrey had no intention of continuing their arrangement as a liaison, but as a much more permanent arrangement. Still, he wanted to test her resolve.

  “We will not meet in Yorkshire, Lord Lovell. That is one thing that I am sure of.” Lucy was emphatic.

  “Perhaps. But I believe we should leave that option open. Do you not agree?”

  “I care not. For my part our relationship ends on the day of Harriet and George’s wedding. You can believe anything you wish.” Lucy was reacting to his teasing much as the young girl she had once been and Aubrey suppressed a grin.

  “Then I agree to your proposition,” he said and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as Lucy’s mouth gaped.

  “What?”

  “I am honored to accept your proposal, Lady Lucilla. Now that that’s out of the way I have something I would like to show you.”

  “Now?”

  Aubrey could see Lucy’s mind boggling right before his eyes as her thoughts misinterpreted his current intentions. His own hopes were in alignment with her thoughts, but he could wait until the evening to consummate their agreement. He had no intention of ruining her reputation.

  “Yes, would you come with me next door? I would like your opinions on some of my paintings. I have always found your observations to be of value and I have no one else to show them to.”

  Lucy took a deep breathe, eying him suspiciously. “Of course, I am delighted. I’m so glad that you are still painting.”

  “That was pretty much all I did during my t
ime in Italy.” He stood and held out his arm to escort her to his home. “Come.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lucy laid her arm on top of Aubrey’s and allowed him to escort her through the back gate, down the lane, and into his yard. She briefly thought about Mrs. Brundage watching her leave unchaperoned with a strange man, but she decided that she could deal with that later when she returned. After all, as far as the housekeeper knew, Aubrey St. Clare was just a neighbor, someone from Lucy’s youth.

  Aubrey led her from the conservatory out into a hallway where a startled footman hastily turned away when he saw his master enter with an unknown female. Lucy pulled on his arm a little, but he continued on up the stairs to the second floor where he had situated his studio. Lucy’s eyes widened as they walked past several bedrooms including the master, but he did not stop. She relaxed as he opened the door to his studio and she could see that the room was plainly used for his painting.

  He walked over to where he had several canvases stacked against a wall and started to turn them so they faced her in a line down an empty section of wall. They were all scenes of Italy, countryside with tall green trees laden with yellow lemons, cityscapes of small crooked houses painted in pastel colors, and seascapes with small sailboats with brightly colored sails. Aubrey stepped back as Lucy came forward and bent to study the painting on the end. She slowly moved down the line, standing and stooping at each scene.

  Aubrey watched her, admiring her grace and her form as she studied his work. He was nervous that she might not like the pictures, but that feeling was overtaken by his joy at having her here in his home. Just two weeks before he thought he might never see her again and now she was here and would be his forever if he had anything to say about it. He was sure that he would be able to persuade her. They had been so in love in their youth. He had never fallen out of love with her and he knew that she felt the same about him. She was just having more difficulty coming to realize it. Aubrey knew that Lucy had agreed to bed him because she thought that would get him out of her heart and mind. He intended that her scheme fail and she became more entangled with him instead.

 

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