by K. M. Scott
My words were met with silence, and I feared looking up and seeing total disappointment in my father’s eyes. I hated the worry and concern he always wore in them when it came to me, but seeing disappointment would crush me.
“Of course, I want you to be happy,” he said quietly, his voice catching on the word happy.
Still fearful of what I’d see, I looked up. Those deep brown eyes that never failed to make me feel loved and safe when I was a child filled with utter sadness now. Sadness because of me.
“It’ll be okay, Daddy. I’m not planning on moving far. I’ll still be here in the city.”
He tried to smile but his frown wouldn’t go away. “I know. I guess I’ve always known this day would come. I just didn’t think you were ready.”
“I’m not, but my fear of the world isn’t worse than my fear that I’m going to end up alone with my family having to care for me.”
“You’re not an invalid, Diana. You’re just…”
When he couldn’t finish his sentence, I finished it for him. “I’m afraid of everything. Of cars. Of people. Of not being liked. Of crowds. Of loud noises. Of everything. But I can’t stay this way anymore.”
“Please promise me you won’t go too fast. Promise me you won’t make any snap decisions, honey. Your mother and I want to help, so keep that in mind.”
I knew how hard this was for him to be supportive when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms me and protect me from everything that could hurt me. I didn’t want to upset him or my mother, but I had to try to get my life back.
“I promise I won’t, Daddy. This isn’t about rebelling against you guys. It’s about living again.”
* * *
My father stood in the door to my hotel room as he prepared to leave. “I’m going to get that strawberry cream pie home to your mother. She’ll love the surprise.”
I hugged him and whispered the truth of how much I appreciated him and all he did for me as he held me in his arms. “Thank you for today, Daddy. For everything.”
“Thank you. I enjoy our Sunday lunches, even when they’re more like brunch. I love you, honey. Never forget that.”
Squeezing him, I reveled in the security he provided. “I love you. Tell Mom I missed seeing her today. And don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”
My father leaned back and kissed my forehead. “I know you will be. Just take it slow, okay?”
I nodded, preferring not to lie outright to him, but I didn’t want to take anything slow anymore. I’d taken nearly the last decade slow, and what did I have to show for it?
“I’ll call you tomorrow. I suspect when your mother hears the news I have to give her she’ll be calling before that. Just so you know.”
“I figured as much. Be careful driving home, and give Mom a kiss for me.”
He took one last look at me and nodded before closing my hotel room door behind him. Left alone once more, I could barely stand to be in that room now. I wanted to get out, even though the very idea of being anywhere else terrified me.
I heard the sound of a call coming in and turned to see Ethan’s face staring at me on my TV. Had my father called him the second he left to tell my brother about my plans?
“Ethan, what’s going on?”
“Just wanted to see how your lunch with Mom and Dad went,” he said with a smile I didn’t find suspicious.
But his asking about my lunch date I had every Sunday with our parents felt strange.
“It was good, as usual. Mommy didn’t come because Daddy said she wasn’t feeling well. I don’t think he was either since he looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep and barely ate anything.”
Ethan laughed and shook his head. “It’s called being hungover. They probably celebrated until the wee hours of the morning with Killian and his friends. Those guys can put the drinks away.”
“Well, Mommy and Daddy were happy, so don’t take that away from them,” I said as I sat down on the couch. “So what else is new? How is the puppy picture taking going?”
Rolling his eyes, he sat back and shook his head. “Summer and I had to take a poodle’s picture for a spread in American Dog Magazine. You should have seen this thing, Diana. It was huge, like a small pony, and in its white curly hair they had pink ribbons. Let me tell you, that dog did not like having her picture taken, and sadly, the camera didn’t love her either. Definitely not a match made in heaven. If it wasn’t for Summer, I wouldn’t have been able to finish the shoot. I swear that dog hated me.”
“Summer is the dog whisperer, so you better keep her around,” I teased.
He looked left and right and then leaned in toward the screen. “Speaking of that, I’m planning on asking her to marry me. I wanted you to be the first to know,” he whispered.
Suddenly, tears began to stream from my eyes. Ethan was getting married now too?
“What’s wrong? I thought you liked Summer. I thought you guys were close,” he said with nothing less than real worry that I disapproved.
Shaking my head, I dried my eyes. “No, I’m crying because I’m happy for you. When are you going to pop the question?”
Smiling, he told me about his plan. “I’m going to take her out to dinner at a nice restaurant and then ask her to marry me when we get home.” Stopping, he looked around to make sure Summer wasn’t nearby and held up a robin’s egg blue box. He opened it to reveal a gorgeous engagement ring with a huge, round center diamond and two smaller diamonds flanking it nestled in a black velvet cushion.
For a moment, my breath caught in my chest. “Oh, my God, Ethan. It’s stunning! Did you pick it out yourself?”
He smiled and nodded with pride. “The woman at Tiffany’s helped a little.”
“With a ring like that, you have to make it a memorable night when you ask her to marry you. It needs to be more than just a dinner.”
My suggestion seemed to confuse him. “Like what? She’s a pretty down-to-earth woman, Diana. I mean, she’s not like Tress. Summer and I are low-key compared to them.”
“Take her to her favorite place in the world. You can afford it, so do it. She deserves that kind of proposal, the kind she’ll never forget. The kind she’ll tell your kids and your grandkids.”
Ethan shook his head and laughed. “Whoa. Don’t rush things. Grandkids seems a bit much.”
“Just make it unforgettable like only you can do, Ethan. Promise me you’ll do that.”
“I will. I promise. Are we still on for lunch Thursday?” he asked.
“Of course. I expect to hear all about how it went. I’m talking about details, brother.”
“Well, if I do it right and she says yes, she’ll probably tell you all about it before I even get the chance.”
“I want to hear the story from both sides. It will make it even better. Now go make that proposal unforgettable, okay?”
Ethan gave me a big smile. “Love you, Diana. Wish me luck.”
“You won’t need it. She’s crazy about you. I love you, Ethan.”
The screen went black and I couldn’t stop myself from crying again. But not because I was happy for Ethan and Summer. I sat there alone in my hotel room and felt a sadness I’d never experienced before. I was the only one of us who had nothing in her life. No successful job. No one who loved me like Summer loved Ethan and Killian loved Tressa. No one who even wondered about me other than my family.
For the first time since I walked through that hotel room door all those years ago, I hated this place.
Chapter Four
Cole
My best friend’s place still looked the same as it had when he was single, but I had a feeling if I checked the bathroom there would be something frilly or pink to show that Ethan had left the ranks of bachelorhood for good this time. Probably a pink razor in the shower or something like that. He’d never dated anyone for as long as he and Summer had been together, but since he hadn’t married her, I’d long thought that maybe she was a passing fancy.
Except for the fact that the pas
sing fancy had been in his life for two years, lived with him, worked side-by-side with him in his business, and appeared on his arm at every social event he attended. Not exactly passing.
Not surprisingly, I’d never been accused of being able to see things clearly when it came to relationships, mine or anyone else’s.
As I finished scanning the apartment, this time to see if Summer was joining us, I sat down at the kitchen island on the comfortable new stools he’d gotten to replace the old, purgatorial ones that made your legs feel like someone had separated them from your body. Another effect of the passing fancy not being so passing.
Ethan handed me a beer, and I took a long drink before setting the bottle on the countertop. When he invited me over tonight, he sounded serious, so I braced myself for what he had to say. All day possibilities had run through my head. First and foremost, I wondered if he found out about when Diana and I were together in senior year of high school. That was a decade ago, but he’d never been too keen on me even looking sideways at her, so although a lot of time had passed, I had no doubt he’d still be pissed.
But the idea that he’d found out was pretty unlikely, which led me to my second guess. Something was happening with Summer. But was it good or bad? I studied his expression as he drank down a full gulp of beer and couldn’t decide. Maybe they were breaking up. Two years was a record for him, so maybe the whole thing with her had run its course. Or maybe they were getting engaged, taking their cue from Tressa and Killian after their party the other day.
No way. Ethan Stone wasn’t getting married. Nope. We were going to remain single forever, just like we said back when we celebrated my twenty-first birthday with the cheerleading squad from whatever that college was upstate. Ethan did not intend on leaving the ranks of single men.
“So,” he began, his voice shaky. “What’s new?”
I stared across the island at him and knew by the way he looked like someone was squeezing his balls too tightly that what he had to say was exactly what I’d been so sure could never happen.
“So. I’m assuming you called me here tonight to either unmask which of us is the murderer or to tell me you and Summer are getting hitched. To be honest, I’d rather you tell me you’ve killed someone.”
I watched as every ounce of stress left his body. He visibly looked more relaxed as soon as I said those words.
“Don’t be an asshole,” he said with a smile. “If I killed someone, it probably would have been you.”
Twisting my face into a grimace, I nodded. “True. I seem to bring that out in people. So this is the final meeting of the bachelor’s club, huh? We better get drinking. Our last meeting can’t be conducted soberly.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like Summer and I are running off to get married tomorrow. I haven’t even asked her yet. I’m doing it tomorrow night after I take her somewhere nice.”
“Ethan Stone married,” I said, shaking my head. “Now I’ve seen everything. You know, this leaves me alone in our circle of friends as the lone single man. I’m not sure I’m up to the task of servicing all the single women in this city. What am I going to do without my wingman?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Cole, I haven’t been your wingman for two years now. That’s probably why you turned to dating women like that one you brought to Tressa’s engagement party. Dude, what the hell was with her?”
I hated to admit he was right, so I chose to focus on the more positive aspects of Rachel. “I know. Hot, right? I know you’re spoken for and all, but you still notice gorgeous women, don’t you? Did you check out that ass? Mmmm…”
Ethan took another drink of his beer and shrugged. “Yeah, great ass, but she had the personality of a fucking porcupine.”
Opening my mouth to disagree, I had nothing. Not a single word to defend the women I’d spent nearly five weeks with. “What can I say? She was a great lay. She could do this thing with her tongue…damn. I think I’m going to miss that porcupine.”
For a moment, Ethan just stared at me in disbelief, but then we both exploded into laughter. “So Rachel wasn’t the one for me. Maybe there isn’t a one for me.”
“At least your usual type knows how to have a good time. This one didn’t even have that going for her.”
“Rachel wasn’t really a serious thing. She was shallow and demanding, and when I said I wanted to stay at the party, she stormed out after telling me we were done. It was all very dramatic. I ended up having to hitch a ride with other people heading back to the city.”
My tale of woe didn’t elicit any sympathy from my best friend. “Nice choice of a girlfriend, dude. Generally, you want to avoid the ones who strand you out in the ’burbs,” Ethan teased.
“Fuck you. Not everyone gets to have the girl-next-door like you. Maybe if I’d been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”
Ethan’s eyes grew wide for a moment before he simply laughed at me. “Your parents were multi-millionaires, Cole. It’s not like you were a poor kid. If I had a silver spoon, you had at least the same thing.”
“Well, maybe if my parents had stayed together I’d attract nice women. I’m sure there’s some deep psychological reason I chase women like Rachel. It probably has to do with my mother’s leaving just as I was becoming interested in girls. All incredibly psychological. Or maybe I just like nasty women.”
“Maybe if you didn’t chase nasty women who are just out of high school,” he suggested like he was trying to be helpful. “How old was she anyway?”
Smiling, I said, “Twenty-one. And before you say another word, let’s reflect back on your history before Summer came along. You were with barely legal girls when you were doing that whole model thing. They may have looked like women in their twenties, but you and I both know they weren’t. Hell, if I’m remembering correctly, that one you hooked up with in Bali was barely eighteen, and you were how old?”
The grimace on his face told me I’d successfully driven my point home. “Fine. I won’t bust your ass about your taste in women anymore. I’m just suggesting that maybe if you spent time with someone closer to your age that you might not get stuck begging for rides back to the city because your girlfriend had a temper tantrum and left you high and dry.”
“Fair enough, but you feel free to point me to a woman our age who doesn’t come with a metric shit ton of baggage. You got lucky, man. Most women near thirty have kids, at least one ex-husband who’s never really completely gone from the picture, and other problems I don’t need in my life.”
“I did get lucky with Summer, but I hate to say this and I know they’re going to take my player card for this, but maybe you try looking for women in places other than your club.”
His dose of reality just hung there between us, a strange truth I knew like every other single guy in the world. I had nothing against women in clubs. Hell, I owned a club, so I’d spent more nights than I could count finding my newest partner in it. But the truth was if a guy wanted to find something more permanent, a club wasn’t the best place to search for it.
I’d had enough of this serious conversation about the success or failure of my time as a single man. Tipping my beer bottle to my mouth, I drank down the last few sips and then shook it in front of me.
“Now that we’ve dissected me and my psychological issues with women, how about you get me another beer? I’m still too sober to deal with the fact that my best friend is getting married, so more alcohol is called for.”
Ethan chuckled at what he considered to be a joke, but his announcement that he was soon to be a husband made what I didn’t have in my life become all the more real. All through my twenties, I’d scoffed at the mere suggestion that it was time for me to settle down. Why the hell would I do that? I was a wealthy and successful man who had his pick of women. Who traded that life for one with the same woman every day?
I spent my time enjoying single life, and when it had been Ethan and me out on the prowl, I couldn’t imagine anything ever topping that. Then h
e met Summer, and everything changed.
Not that I didn’t understand why. I mean, who the hell wants to spend their life moving from person to person, night after night? Even though most people who knew me wouldn’t recognize much change in the past two years, I had settled down a little. A couple years ago, I wouldn’t have spent five weeks with any one woman, no matter how great she was in bed. Before, I saw the plethora of single women in the city as my personal banquet, and I saw no reason not to gorge myself on every possibility in sight.
So I had changed a little. That didn’t mean I wanted to settle down with one woman and find ourselves a house with a white picket fence. That wasn’t who I’d ever be. But I liked the idea of finding what Ethan had found in Summer. She wasn’t boring, and there was no denying that my friend was happier since she came into his life, and who didn’t want to be happy, right?
“Cole? Earth to Cole. You in there?”
I shook the daydreams about happiness from my head and laughed as I took the bottle of beer from Ethan. “Yeah, relax. I was just thinking about Rachel and that ass of hers. I really will miss that, I think.”
“You’re going to be single forever, man.”
After downing a mouthful of beer, I said, “You act like that’s a bad thing. Just because you’ve joined the ranks of the soon-to-be-married doesn’t mean there isn’t a great life the rest of us get to enjoy.”
Ethan’s expression grew serious again. “Speaking of me getting married, assuming Summer says yes, can I count on you to be best man?”
Just hearing the words best man made everything so fucking real all of a sudden. I sat back and blew the air out of my lungs. Best man. Holy fuck. Nobody had ever used those words to describe me, not even on my best day.
“Of course. Who else would you ask? We’ve been friends since grade school, for Christ’s sake. I’m the only one who’s up to the task of giving the reception toast, which by the way will have some mention of your misdeeds all these years, so there’s your fair warning.”
