by Mercy Levy
But her father would be.
After counting in her head for a moment, a surge of resolution filled her heart and she threw the door open, walking through it confidently. Ethel’s shoes clicked on the hardwood floor as she walked down the stairs and into the dining room, where she expected her father would be waiting to speak with her over breakfast.
To her surprise, the dining room was empty. Of course, breakfast had been prepared and set out, but there was only a place set for her. Ethel looked around, feeling confused. It wasn’t like her father to miss breakfast, and it was always served at the same time every day, so he would certainly know that it would be waiting for him.
“Carrie, do you know where my father is?” she asked as a young maid brought in another plate of steaming biscuits. The girl paused for a moment, then she nodded.
“I saw him with another man this morning. He wanted his breakfast served early so he could meet with this man, though I don’t know who he was. Last I saw him they were both walking toward the stable.” She set down the biscuits but Ethel hurried to the window, her heart sinking with each step she took. She couldn’t see her father outside the window, but she could see that the door to the stable was open, and there was no sign of Jonathan anywhere.
Ethel’s stomach twisted, and she feared she was going to be sick. Turning back to Carrie, she smiled and hurried past her, excusing herself from the room.
“Aren’t you going to eat something, Ma’am?” Carrie called out after her, but Ethel didn’t answer. With each step she took, she felt more anger well up within her, and she feared she was going to burst. She hurried down the lane and to the stable as quickly as she could without breaking into a run, but terrified at what she was going to find when she got inside.
“Father? What is all this?” she asked as she stormed through the door. Her father was shaking hands with a man she had never seen before, and Jonathan stood at the other end of the stable with a troubled look on his face.
“Great news, Ethel! Mr. Jacobs here is going to take them all off our hands. I was worried that we were going to end up having to sell them off one by one, and you know how long that could have taken, but he’s a sharp businessman, he is, and they’ll be gone this afternoon.” He clapped his hand on the back of Mr. Jacobs, who had lit a cigar and was now puffing away.
“You sold them? All of them?” Ethel asked in horror. She could feel her chest heaving and she felt short of breath. Glancing back, she could see by the look on Jonathan’s face that it was true. Her father, who was also lighting a cigar, told her to go back inside the house, and to mind her manners as Mrs. Smith had carefully taught her to do.
“Is Starboy going, too?” she asked, unable to mask her fury. Her father looked up at her, and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He held the cigar in his lips, puffing away as he spoke.
“Yes, Starboy is the main reason Mr. Jacobs is here in the first place. You’ll have to excuse my daughter, Sir, she loves horses and this is all rather new to her.” He had turned to the man next to him, who waved off the matter with his hand.
“That’s how it always is with the women; you never do know what it is they really want, until you sell it to another man.” He laughed at his own joke, and to her horror, her father also laughed with him. She stood for a moment, trying to think of something to say that would change her father’s mind, but she knew it was too late. Her father had made the decision to leave, and he was now making swift efforts to make that happen.
He didn’t care that Starboy was her favorite horse, nor did he care that he wouldn’t get to keep Maria. All he cared about was getting his assets sold so he could be on the next ship headed across the sea. Ethel shook her head in disappointment, not caring how rude of her it was to do so.
She turned on her heel and stormed out of the stable, letting the door slam closed behind her. Ethel didn’t go back inside the house, however. Instead, she turned and began walking up the lane that led into the town.
She didn’t care what her father did. She was not moving to England.
Chapter 4 – Another Way
Ethel didn’t know where she was going, all she knew was that she didn’t want to be around her father, nor did she want to see him sell off all the things that mattered to her as though they were nothing. She had cared very deeply for Starboy, and she wasn’t going to be there when someone came by and simply took him away.
She loved all the horses in the stable, but he was going to be the one that she missed the most. With tears in her eyes, she continued to walk down the lane, avoiding looking at anyone who passed by. She could sense that many wondered what was wrong with her, but no one bothered stopping to ask her if she was okay, or if there was anything they might do for her.
Ethel walked past many of the stores in town when she suddenly stopped, realizing she was hungry. She hadn’t eaten since the night before, she had been so upset by the news of her father selling the horses. But the smells coming from the cafes and shops made her stomach rumble and she was suddenly starving.
Ethel glanced around the street; the bakery on the corner of the street was open, but she wasn’t hungry for anything that was sweet. Instead, she wanted something that was simple and she could enjoy on her way back to the mansion.
Once inside the general store, she once again avoided making eye contact with anyone. Some of the other customers gave her a second glance when they realized she had clearly been crying, but many of them respected her obviously wanting to be left alone.
Ethel grabbed an apple out of a bucket next to the counter, then she patiently waited her turn to pay. She rolled her eyes as the customer in front of her took her time choosing which bolt of fabric she wanted, and Ethel marveled that the clerk didn’t leave her to choose and help Ethel pay.
As she waited, she looked down at the paper which lay on the counter. She sighed at the announcements about horseracing; there had been a time when she would only have been interested in that section. Not wanting to upset herself further, she flipped the page over, skimming the different news stories and ads that filled the pages.
Her eyes fell on something she had never seen before, and she paused, looking at the paper more closely. The back of the paper was filled with dozens of ads, but ads that were different to any she had seen before. Men all over the western part of the country had put ads in the paper, looking for brides.
As she skimmed over them, many of them sounded similar to each other. There were men looking for companionship, there were men who wanted a woman’s touch in their children’s lives, and there were men who wanted to find someone to fall in love with and build a family together. As she read through, she smiled to herself, wondering if there were any women out there who really were willing to do this.
An ad towards the bottom of the page stood out from the rest, and she couldn’t help but look at it closer.
Dear Ladies,
My name is Tom Buckley, and I am looking for a young woman to marry. I am a successful horse breeder with an eye for true racers, but it can be a lonely life, and I am hoping to find someone who would like to share it with me. I know you have likely heard rough stories of the West, but let me assure you, California has developed quickly and we are ready to bring in more of our civilized women folk.
I do not have children, as the horses take up so much of my time I have never had the pleasure of being married. Should you choose to come out this way, I promise I will treat you right, I will take care of you, and I will make sure all your needs are met.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Tom Buckley.
Ethel looked up and glanced around the shop. The clerk was still helping the woman with her fabric, and the rest of the customers were preoccupied with browsing the shelves. Seizing the moment, Ethel tore the ad from the back of the paper then shoved it deep into her pocket.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the next, then back again, trying to think clearly about what she was about to d
o. Even though she had never seriously thought about marrying before, she knew she was old enough to do so, and her father had been away so often she could simply tell him that she had been speaking with this gentleman for a while by letter. She had the perfect excuse not to go to England: because she wanted to move West to marry Tom Buckley.
She paid for her apple and stepped back onto the street, thinking not of Mr. Buckley, but rather, of his horses. He not only mentioned that he bred horses, but he also specifically mentioned that he did so for racing purposes. Even though the ad in her pocket was brief and to the point, he had said everything she would want to hear from a man she was going to marry.
Ethel didn’t mind that they had never met, and it didn’t bother her at all that he could possibly be much older than herself. All she could needed to focus on was that this was her chance to stay in America and pursue the life she wanted. Ethel formed a plan as she walked back up the street, feeling a whole lot lighter than when she had walked into town.
She decided that as soon as she got back to the mansion, she would write Mr. Buckley a letter telling him about herself, and about her passion for horses. She would then return to town and mail the letter that very afternoon, ensuring it would go out with the rest of the mail that evening. Then, she would tell her father her plans and convince him it was what she had really wanted all along.
Ethel smiled to herself. She was going to go west.
Chapter 5 – Mr. Tom Buckley
The next few days were a flurry of activity for Ethel, and she was glad her conversation with her father went as well as it had. Of course, he didn’t like the idea of her staying in America without him, and he really didn’t like the idea of her moving to another part of the country to marry a man she had never mentioned before, let alone met.
Even though Ethel felt bad about lying to her father, by the end of the evening she had him convinced that she had been conversing with Mr. Buckley for several months, and that she had hidden it from even Mrs. Smith, knowing her governess would not approve and put an end to their correspondence.
“If this is really what you want, my Dear, then this is what you shall have, but I want you to know that I am going to miss you terribly.” He said with a sad smile, and Ethel reached forward, putting her hand over her father’s.
“I am going to miss you dearly myself, Father,” she said with a melancholy smile of her own.
After their conversation, however, Ethel had spent much of her time on her own. She knew exactly what she wanted to pack for the journey, and she was relieved she didn’t need to see her father selling their belongings, some of the very dear to her. She had purchased a ticket for a train which left that Friday, meaning she wouldn’t have to watch her father leaving her on a ship.
Ethel was surprised when her father drove her to the train station on the Friday morning. He had kept one of his horses for transportation until he left, which he had hitched to the buggy and brought to the front of the house. Ethel didn’t say much on her way to the station, wanting it to appear as though she was excited.
Their goodbye was brief, as the train was already making ready to depart and in no time at all, Ethel found herself seated next to a window, watching her father through the glass. When the whistle finally blew and the train started with a jolt, she waved her hand frantically to her father, blowing kisses and calling out that she loved him.
A single, solitary tear ran down her cheek as she settled into her seat and turned to face the front of the coach. But her excitement outweighed the sadness she felt, and Ethel was confident in her decision to head out West. She knew she didn’t want to go to England, and she knew that she did want to spend her life with horses; of those things, she was sure.
What she had no idea about, was Tom Buckley.
The train rumbled to a slow stop in front of the platform, and Ethel felt her stomach twist and turn inside of her. Throughout the past week, she had thought often of what her new life was going to be like, but the closer the train drew to California, the more nervous she became.
She was so eager to continue her life with horses, she hadn’t given much thought to what she wanted in a husband, and now that she was about to meet the man she was going to marry, she felt her heart pounding inside her chest. Would she like him? Would he like her? Would he think her pretty? Would she find him attractive?
Although Ethel knew she would have her answers within moments, her feet suddenly felt so heavy she didn’t know if she would be able to get up out of her seat. The conductor walked past and looked down at her, then he grabbed her bag and handed it to her.
“Last stop’s here, Miss.” He said with a smile, and Ethel nodded, although she thought she was going to faint her heart was beating so fast. She quickly rose and forced herself to walk off the train before her nerves overwhelmed her completely.
Once on the train platform, Ethel looked around, hoping to find someone waiting for her. To her relief, there was a man standing at the edge of the crowd, beckoning for her to walk over to him. She smiled as she stopped in front of him, and without hesitation she thrust her hand out in front of her.
“Good day to you, Sir, my name is Ethel Miller, I trust that you are Mr. Buckley?” She raised her eyebrows slightly and he stood staring at her for a moment before he awkwardly reached down and shook her hand.
“I am, and I must say, you are to the point, aren’t you?” He smiled down at her, and Ethel blushed a deep crimson. He was every bit as handsome as she had hoped, and even more so in many ways. His smile made her heart melt in an instant, and looking at him made her knees grow weak.
Although his smile alone would have been enough to make her blush, she also felt embarrassed by her forthrightness. How could she be so abrupt when she had just met the man? Did he now think of her as too forward?
“I’m sorry; Father always told me to get to the point, so I guess its habit for me,” she said quietly, and he waved his hand.
“Not at all – no need to be sorry. I thought it was kind of cute, actually,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, and Ethel had to fight another blush. He cleared his throat and offered to take her bag before putting his hand on her lower back and guiding her with him up the street.
“I already arranged for the pastor to meet with us, so I hope you are okay with getting hitched right off.” He looked down at her as he spoke, and Ethel nodded, trying not to blush once more.
He smiled and seemed to relax slightly, hurrying her up the street along with him. Ethel’s mind was reeling; she had come out West to raise horses, and while she knew she was going to be marrying a stranger to do it, she hadn’t expected she was going to marry a man so handsome.
How did she get so lucky?
Chapter 6 – The Horses of Bergamot Ranch
Ethel didn’t feel like herself when they left the little church on the corner. Although she had said what she had been told to say and done what she had been told to do, there was something about her knowing she was now a married woman that didn’t feel quite right.
She was glad she had made the decision to come to the West and marry Mr. Buckley rather than become a sheep farmer with her father in England, but she had never given marriage a lot of thought, and now that she was a married woman, she wondered if she had made a mistake.
Mr. Buckley, however, seemed delighted with the ceremony, and the way he looked at her did make her feel special. He constantly asked her if she was feeling alright and if there was anything he might do to make her ride out to the ranch a little smoother, but Ethel insisted she was just fine, and she was comfortable enough in the wagon.
Ethel really wanted to get out to the ranch. She was excited to see the house that was now to be her home. She wanted to see the land that she was going to be riding on, and the horses she would be riding. She wanted to hear their names and smell their coats, and she wanted to get out of her Sunday best and into a dress she was comfortable in.
On the way out to the ranch, Tom expla
ined to her the way he expected their lives to be, encouraging her to step in and offer her thoughts whenever she wanted to. Although she mostly listened to what he had to say, part of her was nervous. There was something about Tom that reminded her of Mrs. Smith; almost as though he expected her to be the perfect lady at all times, without question.
She would smile when he would make eye contact with her, but he finally paused.
“Is there something bothering you? You don’t seem to be as excited about this as I thought you were going to be.” There was a tone of disappointment in his voice, and Ethel was quick to reach forward and assure him everything was quite all right.
“I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. This morning I woke up as me, and now here I am, a married woman – it’s not you, it’s just a lot for me to take in right now.” She had a small smile as she spoke, and he nodded his agreement.
“I am sure there are a lot of things going through your mind right now, but trust me, it is a large house, and you are now the queen of it. I have already prepared a room for you to stay in until you get comfortable with things, and I think you will find the whole place quite suited to your liking. It has been just me living there until now, but I know how to keep a house.” He winked at her, and Ethel did feel rather relieved.
“I really want to see the horses,” she blurted out without realizing what she was going to say. He looked at her in surprise.
“I know you mentioned that you like horses, but I should think that you would rather get settled in before you head out to that smelly old barn,” he said with his eyes on the road in front of them. Ethel also kept her eyes on the road, not wanting to argue with her new husband, nor to be rude. But, she did want to see the horses, and she worried he was going to take her inside before she had a chance to remind herself why she had come out West in the first place.
At last, he spoke. “Alright, if you want to see the horses, I will be happy to show them to you, but I really do want you to get settled in. It has been such a dreadfully long journey for you, and I don’t want you to fall ill from the fatigue.” He gave her a look of concern, and Ethel once again reached forward and patted his hand.
