No More Lies

by Sandy Appleyard

  The look on her face is different. It’s deep and longing, and her gaze is more penetrating than ever. “Everything okay, baby?” I ask breathlessly, concern registering in my eyes, as I slow my pace, thinking that maybe I’m being a little too aggressive, even though she encouraged it with her grip.

  “I love you, Kurt.” She blurts, and then I see a tear fall down her cheek. I’m still making love to her, but I slow right down to an easy pace.

  “I love you, too, Lisa. More than anything.” The conviction my eyes is palpable, because her gasp turns into a cry, and I absorb it with a deep kiss, as I stroke her tears away from the sides of her face with my hand, while hitting a sweet spot inside, showing her just how much I want her to feel my love for her. Her heartfelt cries turn into passionate ones quickly, as I pick up the pace, and bring her home once, twice, three times over, before her fingers are tangled in my curls, and her legs are wound so tightly around me, it’s a miracle I can move. When we finally collapse, after coming down from the throes of ecstasy, Lisa falls asleep on my chest, and remains there until the sun rises.

  She lifts her head, looking at me. “Good morning.” I say, kissing her.

  “Good morning.” She says and rises.

  “Hey. Where are you going?” I ask, reaching for her.

  “I have to get those pictures from last night ready for Laura.”

  “That doesn’t have to be done today, baby. Laura won’t mind if you take a day off.”

  “I also have a client coming this afternoon. I’ve got a million things to do, Kurt.” Her tone is clipped. I’ve never heard her like that before.

  I rise and follow her into the bathroom. “You okay? You’re acting odd.”

  She hops into the shower and closes the door. “No, I’m fine. I just…forgot how tight my schedule is this week. With the wedding crammed in there, I have to work double-duty.”

  That’s fair. “You need help with anything?”

  “No, baby. But thanks. I just…I have to get a move on.”

  “Okay.” I scratch my head. “How about I make us some breakfast?”

  She laughs out loud. “You? Cook? I thought you said you can’t even make coffee for yourself.”

  “I was exaggerating, darlin’. I can make eggs and breakfast. I used to help my mama all the time when I was a kid.”

  “Alright. Go on then while I get a shower. But I have to eat quickly so I can hop to, okay?”

  “Aye, aye, sir.” I play along. All I have is my dress pants, so I throw them on, choosing to go sans underwear, hoping for a replay of the last time she caught me going Commando.

  Twenty minutes later, fine, I made one hell of a mess, but breakfast is on the table. I did a bang-up job of it, too. I must say. Lisa gobbles it up, kissing me quickly, before excusing herself to get to work.

  “I’ll just get a shower and head on over to the ranch.” I say to her.

  “Okay, baby. I’ll talk to you later.” She says before kissing me quickly.

  ***

  Laura

  Grayson is downstairs with the Thomas clan, having breakfast, while I’m upstairs unloading my cookies into the toilet. The Diclectin doesn’t seem to be working fast enough, but the good news is that I’ve only thrown up once, not like ten times, which is the norm these past few days. As I clean myself up, I hear my new husband coming up the stairs. He takes one look at me and the pity is washed all over his face.

  “Dear sweet Jesus, baby. I had a feeling all the smells from downstairs might have been too much. I’m sorry, baby. I should have closed the partition door of downstairs.”

  “It’s okay, Grayson. If I’m going to throw up, I’m going to throw up. Nothing you can do about it. At least it was only the one time so far.”

  He takes a step towards me, grabbing the washcloth off the sink, wiping my forehead with it. “We better get one of them good kids, you know…not one of them bratty ones, after all this.”

  I giggle.

  “Well that’s promising.” He comments, kissing my head.

  “Yeah, after I threw up this time, I actually feel better. I think that medicine is finally doing its job.”

  “It can take a couple of days to do the trick, baby.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “You feel like coming downstairs? Mama and the gang are getting ready to head out. It’s a long drive, as you know.”

  “Sure. I can come down.”

  As we come downstairs, Kurt walks in the front door. “Hey,” I say, confusion all over my face. “What are you doing here? Lisa with you?”

  “No, she’s got loads of work to do. Besides, I figured I should come over and give a proper goodbye to Mama.”

  “Okay.”

  Mama, having heard, says. “Well, you already said goodbye to me last night, darlin’. There was no need to make a special trip, especially if it means taking you away from your sweetheart.”

  Mitch and Luke snort a laugh. Rachel smacks them both up the side of the head. “Shut up, you two. Lisa’s his sweetheart. Nothing wrong with that.”

  Ignoring the exchange, mama says. “She’s a lovely girl, Kurt. You two getting along well?”

  “Yes. She’s great.” He takes a seat as Grayson gets me a piece of toast. “You should see her house. She’s an interior designer.”

  “I thought she was a photographer. Wasn’t she taking pictures last night?”

  “She’s both, mama. Freelance.” Kurt explains.

  Mitch barks. “You’re not going to knock her up and marry her in a week, are you?”

  Grayson strides over and smacks him on the other side of his head. Chip growls at Mitch and grabs the bottom of his pantleg between his teeth. “Tact…ever heard of it?” Grayson says, using a warning tone. “Learn it. Use it, jerkwad.”

  “I was just kidding, man.” Mitch laughs, holding his head defensively.

  “Yeah, well, you don’t speak like that in front of a lady, especially when said lady is my wife.” Grayson wraps his arms around me, holding me close.

  “Oh, barf.” Mitch says. “You ready to go, mama?”

  “Yes.” She answers with a huff. “I suppose one of these days we’ll all learn to travel in more than one vehicle. That way I don’t have to listen to this for the next nine hours. I’ll be lucky if I live to tell at this rate.”

  “Bye, mama.” Grayson chuckles, good-naturedly.

  “Bye, son. You take care of your little woman, now, hear?” she warns sweetly.

  “He will, mama.” Laura says. “Do you prefer it if I call you mama?”

  “Why not? That’s what everyone calls me.” she smiles.

  We kiss and say our goodbyes, and when the house is quiet again, save for me, Kurt and Grayson, we sit down at the table, as though breathing for the first time in days. “Is it just the baby, or am I exhausted?” I ask.

  “We just got married, after having planned a wedding in a week, baby.” Grayson reasons. “I think we’re all tuckered out.”

  “Here here.” Kurt agrees. “I should go get changed out of these formal clothes. Laura, you got any work for me today?”

  “Nothing except for a bit of cleanup from last night. Simon and Lloyd have already exercised the horses.” I answer, chewing my toast slowly. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and go back to Lisa’s? Bring her lunch or something?”

  He waves. “Na, she’s pretty busy.”

  “What’s she doing?” Grayson asks.

  “Putting together the stuff from last night, and she says she’s got a client this afternoon.”

  “On a Sunday? That’s odd.” I say. “And I already told her that those pictures are no rush.”

  He shrugs. “I’m going to go get showered.”

  “Okay, little brother. See you later.” Grayson says. When we hear the door close, Grayson looks at me. “Lord, he’s got it bad for her.”

  “He does. And it sounds to me like she’s going to pull her old tricks ag
ain.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Pushing him away. She doesn’t have a client this afternoon.” I state. “She told me that she’s in between jobs, and she never has clients over on Sundays, that’s a fact. She’ll have them over all hours of the day and night, but Sundays she made a rule against that. Once she did it, and it ended up turning sour. So she vowed never to do business on Sunday again.”

  “It’s just one day, Laura. Don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions?” Grayson suggests.

  “I know her, Grayson. She did this to Clint, too.”

  “That was years ago, darlin’.”

  “A leopard doesn’t change its spots, Grayson. Especially a leopard like Lisa. God, I should have warned Kurt.”

  “Now, don’t you go getting involved, love. It’s up to them.” He chides. “They’re adults, and if they’re meant to be then so be it. You go meddling in their love life and no good can come of it.” he pauses for emphasis. “Besides, we’ve got bigger fish to fry with a baby coming and all. Don’t complicate things for us or for them. Let them deal with their own problems. We’ve got enough of our own.”

  I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I know I’m right.” Grayson states. “Besides, Kurt won’t tolerate that kind of nonsense if she pushes him away. He’s no fool. He also won’t tolerate you interfering, either. He’s not the type to kiss and tell, so you’re wasting your time, darlin’.”

  “Okay, fine.” I raise my hands in the air. Lifting, I go to the sink. Grayson grabs my middle.

  “Hey, now, you come on over here.”

  I guffaw, chuckling. “What? First you chide me, and now you want to give me some love?”

  “Correction, baby.” He says, rising, pulling me to him. “I always want to give you love. That’s why I married you.”

  “Well, that I’ll give you.”

  ***

  I hear Lisa come in the door as I close the books for the day. “Laura?”

  “In here.” I call from the study.

  Her head peeks inside. “Come on in. You didn’t come by for breakfast this morning.” I coment.

  She waves. “I slept in. Stayed up late doing all kinds of things to your wedding pictures. Want to see?”

  Admittedly, and not surprisingly, the pictures are beautiful. From the horses coming down the aisle carrying us, to the goodbyes at the end, and everything in between. “You and Luellen did a great job.”

  “I’ll do everything up and give it to you on one of those USB sticks, so you can do whatever you want with them.”

  “Sounds good.” I sigh as she puts her camera away. “Kurt was here all night last night.”

  “Yeah, I know. I told you I spent all night going through the pictures.”

  “He said you had a client yesterday, too.”

  “I thought I did.” She frowns. “Must have had the days mixed up. Came by earlier this morning.”

  Tilting my head, I give her my, ‘level with me’ expression. “Lisa, what are you doing.” I say as more of a disappointed statement.

  She’s going for playing dumb. I’m not buying it. “Working. What are you doing?”

  I hear Grayson’s voice, the sound of reason, in the back of my head. But I choose to ignore it. “Why are you avoiding Kurt?”

  She chuckles mirthlessly. “I’m not avoiding him, Laura. I’m busy.”

  “Fine.” I sigh. “If you want to do this, I can’t stop you.”

  “I’m not doing anything, Laura. Seriously. It’s wedding season, remember? I’ve got clients piling up outside. Why, you should have seen the queue to get into my house last night.”

  “Hardy har. Fine. If you’re busy you’re busy. But no lying to me, okay?”

  She lifts a hand. “Scout’s Honor.”

  Chapter 16

  Lisa

  It’s excruciating, but it has to be done. It’s easier this way. Although it’s going to make me look like the worst person that ever lived, it’s also going to set him free. Let’s be realistic here. Not only can I not give Kurt a family, but it’s also painfully obvious the age gap between us. While it’s not creepy, all arrows point to the fact that he can have any woman he wants. He’s gorgeous, sweet as sin, hard-working, and while he doesn’t make a ton of money, he sure comes form a rich family. Any woman would be happy to have him.

  There are so many childbearing years left in him, and I know that you’re thinking how silly I am for not asking him his thoughts on children of his own, let me remind you of the same conversation I had with Harlan. Oh, he was all, ‘we have them when we have them’, but when push came to shove, he wanted them, and when I couldn’t deliver, it got ugly. Really ugly.

  But Kurt is stubborn. As much as I tell him I’m busy, he perseveres. It’s only be a couple of days, and here he is, on my doorstep, with a bouquet of flowers.

  “Hi,” I say. I’m so happy to see him, but I have to fight with every cell of my body not to show it.

  “Hi, pretty lady.” He kisses my lips. His lips are so goddamn soft I can’t stand it. “Are you…busy?” he asks, poking fun at me.

  “Kind of.” I lie.

  “Do you think you can spare a little visit with me?” he dangles the flowers in my face, acting like it’s a form of bribery.

  “I can spare a little time.” I say, stepping out of the way so he can enter. “Thank you for the flowers.” I take them from him, but he holds on to them, pulling me to him.

  He tilts his head and kisses me with a full mouth, sweet kiss. It feels heavenly. “Now you earned them.” He says, satisfied.

  As I take them to the kitchen, he removes his shoes and follows me. “I figure if Mohammed won’t come to the mountain…the mountain can come to Mohammed.”

  “I’m sorry. I really have been busy.” I hate lying.

  “I get it, darlin’. But I missed the crap out of you.”

  I smile, turning to face him. He’s inches from me. I know if I take another step towards him, that I’m going to cave, and I can’t. “Kurt?”

  “That’s me.”

  I can feel the lump in my throat already. I don’t know if I can do this. Be strong. “Kurt, I’m not sure if this is going to work out.” I gasp, as tears form in my eyes.

  He stops dead in his tracks. His face falls. “Didn’t see that coming.” He says after a beat. He tilts his head, looking me straight in the eyes. “You’re serious.”

  A tear falls down my cheek. “Yes.” My voice cracks.

  He’s looking at me, trying to figure me out. “What’s going on, babe?” he says, coming closer to me, reaching out to me, so I’ll come to him. But I know that if I touch him, or if he touches me, I’m going to break. This is so painful, this is breaking my heart.

  Chest heaving, trying like hell to keep the tears at bay. I say. “I just…I can’t…do this.”

  “Can’t do what, Lisa?” he asks, not a lick of irritation is in his voice. His voice is calm and soothing, like he was a therapist in a previous life. “I love you. You love me. There’s nothing to ‘do’, darlin’.”

  “Kurt, don’t.” I whimper. “I…can’t.”

  He rakes a hand through his hair. “Something happened. Something happened between the wedding and now. Now, I know it’s not me, so something must have happened with you.” He looks at me. “What happened? Tell me, baby. Whatever it is, we can work through it.”

  I swallow. “Kurt. I’m begging you. Please…just…don’t.”

  He licks his lips. Looks at the floor, and nods. “Alright. Take some time. I don’t know what’s going on inside that head of yours, baby, but I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk about it.”

  My face is covered with tears. “Please…Kurt…please don’t say anything else nice to me. Just…please.”

  He swallows, looking up at me. I can’t keep looking at him or I’ll break. It’s taking every inch of strength not to
run into his arms and cry the way that I want to. The way that I will the second that he leaves. I love him so much it’s killing me to let him go. But I have to. It’s the right thing to do. I know it is.

  He sniffs, and I look up. His eyes are red. Jesus Christ, he’s going to cry. “I can’t leave you like this, Lisa. I love you.”

  I whimper. “Please, Kurt…please.”

  He bites his lip. “Okay,” he says so softly I can barely hear him.

  When he leaves, I slide down the cupboard doors, back first, until I’m sitting on the cold kitchen floor. I stay there for hours crying. I know tonight will be the worst night of my life, but every day will get better. It’s only taken me this many years to figure that out.

  ***

  My phone rings at eight o’clock in the morning. I look at the display and see that it’s Laura. “What?” I whine.

  “I’m going shopping for baby stuff. Thought you might want to get out of the house for a couple of hours.” She says. Her voice is terse. “I haven’t seen you in a week, Lisa. I know what’s going on.”

  “Yeah, well, it is what it is.”

  “Don’t hand me that.” She says. “You crushed that boy’s heart and you know it.”

  I do know it. The sad part is that I crushed my own in the process. “I’m sorry, Laura. It had to be done.”

  “And who are you canoodling with now?”

  Truth is, there is nobody else. There won’t be for a long time, maybe never. “Nobody, Laura. Give me some credit.”

  “Fine.” She softens. “Do you want to go shopping, or are you ‘busy’, as you’ve been telling everyone lately.” Her implication stings.

  “No, I can go.”

  “My car’s in the shop, and both the girls are using the vans. Can you come and pick me up?”

  “You’ll do anything to get me to come over there, won’t you.” I comment.

  “Read it how you want. I’ll see you shortly.”