Cat raised her arms out to the sides. "Know what?" she shouted.
"Well, it sure didn't look like a business meeting to me. You were having way too much fun for business," Jen started.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Cat asked.
Jen crossed her arms. "Hello? I was there. Two Fridays ago. Trader Dukes at dinner time? I saw you laughing and joking with those women. Remember? You broke our date. If you didn't want a night out with Fred and me, you could have said so instead of pulling that bullshit on us." Jen started to pace. "Of course I can't blame you. Why would you want to be friends with me? Look at me! I'm fat! My face is breaking out!"
Suddenly, the dam broke and Jen started to cry. Billie immediately wrapped Jen in her arms and looked frantically at Cat who was also pacing back and forth, one hand on her hip and the other hand worrying her bangs while she desperately tried to understand what Jen was telling them.
Finally, it all began to make sense. Cat looked at her friend wrapped in her wife's arms and it suddenly became clear.
Cat fought tears as she approached Billie and Jen and added her arms to the fray as she joined them in a group hug.
After regaining some semblance of control over her emotions, Cat broke from the group and encouraged Jen to lean against the car. Billie joined her as Cat faced them both.
"Jen, believe it or not, we were in a business meeting that night at Trader Dukes. Those two women you saw us with were Billie's clients. They couldn't make a daytime meeting so they invited us to dinner. Somehow, our signals got crossed and Billie agreed to the dinner meeting, not remembering that we had already accepted your dinner and movie invitation," Cat explained.
"It's true, Jen. My screw-up, I'm afraid," Billie confessed.
Cat approached Jen and cupped the side of her face in her palm. "Jen, we would never blow you guys off. We love you, don't you know that?" Cat stated, making Jen cry even harder.
Cat opened her arms to Jen, who went into them willingly. After several long moments of soft whimpering, Cat held Jen at arms' length and smiled broadly. "So when are you due?" she asked.
Jen's eyes flew open, as did Billie's. "Due?" Jen asked breathlessly. "What do you mean?"
Cat frowned. "Jen," she said excitedly, "You've been ill for a while now. You're an emotional wreck. You said you were putting on weight. Your face is breaking out. Honey, all those things to me indicate that you're probably pregnant."
Jen shook her head side to side. "No, I can't be. I had a tubal ligation years ago. It can't be," she said in disbelief.
Once again, Cat held Jen's face between her hands. "Sweetheart, tubal ligations have been known to fail. They aren't foolproof."
Jen continued to shake her head. "No. It can't be," she said again.
Billie was bubbling with joy on the inside, but unsure about expressing it, considering her friend was in denial about the possibility. On the outside, her logical self took over. "Well, there's one way to be sure," she said. "I'll be right back." Billie headed across the parking lot and back into the store.
While Billie was gone, Cat once again took her friend into her arms. "Sweetie, we missed you so much," she said though her tears.
Jen wrapped her arms tightly around Cat. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch," she said. "I thought you replaced Fred and me with your new friends."
Cat was dumbfounded. "Jen, how could we ever replace you? Don't you know you hold a special place in our hearts? Honey, that night at Trader Dukes...why didn't you come over to the table? We would love to have shared you with Shannon and Julie," she asked.
Jen wiped the tears from her face and sniffed loudly. "We didn't want to interfere, Cat."
Cat shook her head side to side. "What am I going to do with you?" she joked.
Billie approached the ladies carrying a bag."Okay, let's go home. We've got some work to do,"
"Work?" Jen said.
Billie reached into the bag and pulled out a box. "Home pregnancy test."
A crooked smile crossed Cat's features as a look of trepidation crossed Jen's.
"Billie, I'm going to drive Jen's car home for her. I think her emotional state is a little too fragile right now to handle it," Cat said.
"Okay. I'll meet you at Jen's."
***
Billie, Jen and Cat lined up side by side and bent over the bathroom sink while they waited impatiently for the results. Finally, they came.
"But...but...but the tubal," Jen said. Her voice trailed off in disbelief as she looked at the plus sign on the dipstick.
Billie and Cat looked across Jen's back at each other and smiled. Tears welled in their eyes.
Jen stood erect and looked back and forth between her friends, her eyes wide with something close to fear. "I...I...I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed. "How can that be?"
"How? Jen, this is your third child. Don't tell me you don't know how it happened," Billie joked.
"No! I mean, yeah, I know how, but...but...you know...how?" she asked again. "This can't be happening," she added. One hand flew to her forehead while the other grasped the edge of the sink.
Cat noticed the pale hue to her friend's face. "Jen, are you all right? Maybe you should lie down for a while," she said.
"No. I'm okay. I'm just a little light-headed," Jen explained.
"Have you eaten today?" Billie asked.
"A few crackers this morning," Jen replied. "It was all I could keep down."
"Okay, time to eat," Cat said. She took Jen's hand and led her to a chair at the kitchen table.
Jen sat there staring straight ahead while Cat busied herself throwing lunch together. Billie sat across the table from Jen and covered her friend's hands with her own. "Jen, honey, how do you feel about this?" she asked.
Jen broke out of her daze and looked at her friend. "It scares the shit out of me," she replied.
"How so?" Billie prompted.
Jen looked at her hands. "I love Stevie and Karissa. I really do, but I had a very difficult time through their pregnancies and deliveries. They were both very big babies. When Stevie was born, I swear I was giving birth to a baby centaur! He split me end to end. It was horrible. I was sore for weeks," she began. "The pregnancies were rough. I had morning sickness for the entire nine months with both babies. I gained a ton of weight, and with Karissa, I developed toxemia near the end and almost lost her. Those two pregnancies were the most terrifying 18 months of my life."
Cat delivered bowls of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches to the table as she listened to Jen's story. "Jen, maybe this one will be easier on you," she suggested.
Jen looked at Cat. "I don't know, Cat. Damn!" she exclaimed, nearly breaking down into tears. "I feel horrible about this, but I don't really know if I want this child. I'm afraid," she confessed.
Cat tried to comfort her friend. "Afraid of what, Jen?"
Jen sat back and breathed deeply before answering. "After Stevie and Karissa's births, I fell into postpartum depression. It was hell. I felt so out of control. I was afraid I would hurt myself, or worse, hurt my babies. I was on antidepressant medication for months after each birth. One of the primary reasons I had the tubal ligation was to prevent this from happening again. I am scared to death," she admitted.
Cat and Billie exchanged concerned glances.
Jen propped her elbows on the table and lowered her face into her hands as she cried and poured her heart out to her friends. "My youngest is in high school for crying out loud. I am supposed to start a new job in a few weeks. I'm at a point in my life where I can finally enjoy some independence, and now this happens."
Cat rose to her feet and wrapped her arms around Jen. Her shoulders shook with the waves of sobs that racked her body. Cat looked at Billie across the table and mouthed the words, 'Call Fred,' then talked soothingly to Jen as Billie rose and left the room.
***
Fred came home immediately after he received the call from Billie. She was intentionally vague about what the problem was...only offering that
Jen wasn't feeling well, so Fred was quite a nervous wreck when he arrived home. When he entered the house, Jen was in the bathroom, trying desperately to compose herself. The minute she opened the door and laid eyes on him, she flew into his arms and once again broke down and cried.
Moments later, Cat was fanning Fred with the phone book as he slouched limply in the overstuffed living room chair mumbling, "I can't believe it...I can't believe it!"
Jen stood in the circle of Billie's arms, whimpering softly on her friend's shoulder.
Before long, Fred regained his senses and sat up with a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face. He spoke one word, "How?"
"I don't know how, Fred. I...I..." Jen tried to speak, but collapsed once more into tears as Billie helped her to the couch.
"Fred," Cat began. "It wouldn't be unusual for a tubal ligation to fail."
Fred rubbed his face hard then dropped his hands between his legs. He looked at Jen on the couch and grinned. He approached the couch, sat down, and pulled Jen into his arms. "Don't worry, love, it will be okay," he purred.
Jen looked at Fred through a veil of tears. "How can you say that?" she asked. "You're not the one who has to get sick, fat and depressed."
"Maybe this one will be different, sweetie," Fred suggested. "You know I'll be there to help as much as I can."
Jen was incapable of replying. She pulled her feet onto the couch and burrowed into Fred's side.
Billie and Cat watched the touching scene from across the room. Billie squeezed Cat's arm and motioned toward the door with her head.
Billie and Cat walked hand in hand back to their house. "Wow! That was quite a surprise about Jen, huh?" Billie asked.
"Yeah," Cat replied. "I'm really concerned about her though. I didn't realize she had such a difficult time with Stevie and Karissa. Billie, maybe this baby isn't the right thing for Jen," she suggested.
Billie furrowed her brow. "What are you suggesting, Cat?"
"I'm not suggesting anything," she replied. "It's just that Jen's right. She's at the point where she should be enjoying her freedom. She's worked hard raising her children and now that they're relatively independent, it's almost a pity that she'll be tied down again."
"What would you do if it were you?" Billie pointedly asked.
"Without actually being in her shoes, I don't know," Cat replied. "I would probably grow accustomed to the idea over time... as I'm sure Jen will. Still, it's just bad timing."
Billie nodded and held the swinging gate open for Cat to enter their front lawn. As they approached the house, the sound of loud music permeated the door. "What the heck?" Cat exclaimed.
Inside, was Tara and another girl, dancing wildly to "Old Time Rock 'N Roll" by Bob Seger. Billie and Cat exchanged wide-eyed looks before a grin broke out across Billie's face.
"You wouldn't," Cat said incredulously.
"Oh, yeah!" Billie began to gyrate to the beat and joined the girls in the living room.
Cat stood there, her arms crossed in front of her, and shook her head in disbelief.
The trio danced as the strong beat vibrated through the living room…grinding and bumping hips and stomping feet. Finally, the song was over and the three collapsed side by side on the couch.
"Kelly...my mom. Mom...Kelly," Tara introduced Billie to her friend who was sandwiched between the two.
Kelly reached over to shake Billie's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs..." Kelly said.
"Billie. And that beautiful angel by the door is Tara's other Mom, Cat," Billie offered.
Kelly's gaze flew to the door, surprise written all over her face as she realized the family structure. She looked back to Tara with raised eyebrows and visually chastised her friend for not warning her.
Tara shrugged her shoulders in apology.
Kelly rose to her feet, approached Cat and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you too, Cat," she said cordially.
"Welcome to our home, Kelly," Cat replied as she took in the girl's appearance.
Kelly was no more than fifteen years old. She was very tomboyish, with short sandy-brown hair and an almost military-like air about her as she stood respectfully erect while shaking Cat's hand.
"Kel, wanna go play video games in the family room?" Tara suggested.
Kelly turned around sharply and grinned. "Sure," she replied. "Lead the way."
Tara led her new friend into the kitchen as Cat and Billie exchanged looks. From her position on the couch, Billie reached her hand out to Cat, who finally closed the front door and joined her. Cat sat with her feet under her.
"So, what do you think of her?" Billie asked.
"She seems nice enough," Cat answered, "a little boyish, but nice."
Billie tilted her head back and laughed. "Not all our sisters are foo-foo's like you, you know," she teased.
"Foo-foo?" she exclaimed. "I'll show you who's a foo-foo. Take this!" Cat grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and starting whacking Billie with it.
Billie could do nothing but protect her face with her arms. Suddenly the attack ceased. Billie peaked from behind her defenses and saw a confused look on Cat's face. "Cat?"
"Who said she was a sister?" Cat asked.
Billie shrugged and was embarrassed that she was caught stereotyping the girl. A red flush covered her face. "Well, I just assumed. I mean, like you said she's kind of boyish, and she acts like she's in the Army or something," Billie explained.
"Well, I'm not going to jump to conclusions until she admits it to me directly," Cat replied.
"Does it bother you that Tara is hanging with someone who might be gay?" Billie asked.
Cat propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head on her hand. "I'd be a hypocrite if I said yes," she reasoned. "No, it wouldn't bother me if she had gay friends, but I guess I would be a bit concerned if she confirmed that she was gay herself," she confessed.
Billie looked at Cat questioningly. "Cat, how can you say that?"
"Honey, we went through this with Shannon and Julie the other night. You know how difficult life is for most gay people," she began. "We were lucky. Our families are supportive, we have great friends and great employers, but things are different for kids today. Hell, if I were Tara's age today and gay, I would be scared to death about starting a relationship. I mean, there's HIV and heaven forbid, AIDS. It's pretty scary stuff."
Billie nodded. "I know what you mean. In any case, Tara's a little young to be thinking about a physical relationship...at least I hope so."
"Living a gay lifestyle is tough, even for the strongest of us," Cat said. "Overall acceptance is growing—especially among the younger generation—but we have so far to go yet. I'd just hate to see any of our children have to live with that," Cat added. She paused to reflect. "I'm so torn about this. Don't get me wrong. I will unconditionally love and support our kids regardless of who they love, but as a mom, I so want to protect them from all the negative stuff in the world. We need to teach them how to be smart about their choices...and how to protect themselves. That is the least we can do for them."
"It would certainly change the nature of 'the talk' we still need to have with Tara, don't cha think?" Billie observed.
"Ugh!" Cat threw herself back onto the couch. "Don't even mention 'the talk'. I've been dreading it ever since she started her period."
CHAPTER 11
"Hello?" Cat said as she brought the receiver to her ear.
"Hi, Cat. Feel like some company?" Jen asked.
Cat furrowed her brow. She and Billie had left a very vulnerable and upset Jen in Fred's care that afternoon after learning she was unexpectedly pregnant with her third child. She looked across the room at Billie, who was flipping through the television channels with the remote and ignoring her efforts to get her attention. She turned her attention back to Jen. "Jen, are you all right?"
"I'm fine. Just a little bored," she replied.
"Bored? Billie and I just left you a few hours ago. Where's Fred?" Cat asked.
"H
e was called back to work. He offered to stay home, but I insisted he go."
Cat was confused. The emotional state they left Jen in just a few hour earlier was nothing like the chipper sounding woman on the phone with her right now. "Jen, are you sure you're okay? I mean, you were pretty upset when we left you this afternoon," Cat explained.
"Cat, honey, I'm fine. Fred actually left a couple of hours ago and I've spent that time thinking. Thinking about life, the baby...all sorts of things. I'd like to talk to you and Billie about it if I could," she said.
Cat mentally slapped herself for her rudeness. "I'm sorry, Jen. I'm a real clod sometimes. Yes, of course. We'd love for you to come over...or we could come to you if you'd like," Cat offered.
"No, I'll be over in a few. Bye."
"Hmm," Cat mused out loud as she hung up the phone.
Billie continued to flip through the channels. "Did you say something?"
Cat placed her hands on her hips. "Billie, you are such a guy sometimes."
"Huh?" Billie threw a quick glance at Cat before returning her attention once again to the TV.
"Ahh!" Cat marched over to Billie and sat on her lap, facing her, and successfully blocked her view of the television set.
Billie looked into Cat's impatient face. "What?" she asked innocently.
"I said you're such a guy sometimes. What is it about that remote?"
Billie looked at the remote in her hand, clearly confused about what was bothering Cat.
Cat took Billie's face in her hands and prevented her from looking around her to the TV. "Jen is on her way over. She says she'd like to talk to us about the baby."
"Jen? Is she okay?" Billie asked.
"She sounds okay. Better than okay, in fact," Cat replied.
Billie nodded. "Good," she said as Jen's voice was heard from the kitchen.
"Hey, ladies!" Jen said, announcing herself.
"In here, Jen," Cat replied from the living room as Billie clicked off the remote and placed it on the table beside her.
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