by Alta Hensley
* * * * *
"Why do you think she did it?"
The woman from corporate, who hadn't given a name, was staring at Costello in such a way that he was certain she could see straight into his mind.
"Juniper recently lost a good friend, and I think that impacts on the girls more than we realize." He kept his voice calm, which was something he'd become much better at doing while he was at the facility. "Often we find that they'll be absolutely fine for a few days before something triggers a reaction to what happened, which seems to have been painting for Juniper. She and Mary were the only two girls who liked to use orange. Now she feels like the odd one out again, so she acted out, doing something that made her feel better. We talked, though, and she seems to regret it now."
"In reading the incident report from a while back, you said the same thing when she painted the wall."
"I'd only recently become her poppa, so she wouldn't listen to me then in the same way that she'll listen to me now. I tanned her hide, and I'm sure she learned her lesson. She won't be doing the same thing again—that I promise."
The woman studied him for a moment before saying, "See that she doesn't."
"Is the Administrator coming?"
"I'm here to make that determination," she said as she turned toward Juniper's door.
He followed her as she went into Juniper's room.
"Hello, Juniper. I'm Hanna."
Juniper looked at Hanna, her bottom lip quivering. "Poppa Costello told me you don't like the pretty colors on the playroom ceiling."
"Ceilings are meant to be white."
"Why?"
Hanna looked at Costello, seeming almost amused. "That is a very good question. I don't know why they're meant to be white." She nodded. "How about, as Poppa Costello told me this will never happen again, we leave the punishment for now? I'm going to talk to the Administrator and tell him that your poppa has it under control. Did he spank your naughty bottom, Juniper?"
She nodded and stuck her lip out in a pout. "Yes, ma'am, and it hurt!"
"And I'm sure you wouldn't want another blistering from the Administrator, right?"
"No, I wouldn't." Juniper smiled at Hanna. "I like you, Hanna."
"Thank you. I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to tell anyone else."
"I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
"Okay, well, I'm new here. I was brought in to see if there were any changes I could make that would help the girls here feel happier… and I think, from what you've said, that having a pretty playroom, instead of a boring white one, would do that."
"Yes, it would." Juniper bounced. "Can we have a blackboard wall? Then we can draw on it all we like without making anyone angry with us, because drawing on the walls is fun. It's different to drawing on paper, Hanna, because you're upright and there are chalks instead of crayons, and I really like chalks, and so do the other girls, because chalks are fun. They are dusty and you can draw on faces as well. When we had chalks once, I became a cat. I had blue whiskers, Hanna."
Chapter Seven
"That went better than I was expecting it to." Juniper looked at Costello. "What did you say to her that made her change her mind about having the Administrator punish me?"
"I told her about Mary, because they need to understand that losing your friends suddenly isn't easy, although I know that isn't the reason you decided it would be a good idea to cover the ceiling in all the paint that we had."
"Do I still need to stay in my room for the rest of the night?"
"Yes, you do. Hanna doesn't want any of the other girls to know that you aren't being punished any further than what I did. She'll be talking to the rest of corporate tonight about the possibility of decorating the playroom, so hopefully your enthusiasm for that idea will make it work for them." Costello smiled at her, leaning against the door jamb. "You're very good at that."
"Practice." Juniper sighed. "Too much of it, and I think I'm not going to have much of a choice but to keep acting like this until I get discarded." She brushed a hand through her hair. "I remember a girl who went through the menopause. We were told she went to heaven. That was when I realized I didn't want to ever be like her, but that's exactly what I'm going to be if someone doesn't pay to adopt me soon."
"Like I said, you are very expensive." Walking across the room, he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. "I thought about buying you myself, just to get you out of here, but I can't afford that."
"Don't you get free room and board?" She paused before continuing. "I'm not saying that because I don't believe you, but I want to understand, Costello, and there are so many things that have been kept from me because I'm a progeny."
"We all do, and although I have a lot of gems in savings, it won't come close to the cost of buying you. All of us have become poppas for reasons that aren't monetary, as we don't get paid a lot to spend twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week in the facility. I applied for a job here because my sister became a progeny, and I wanted to know what she was going through, and see if I could maybe find out how she is. Although there are days when I wish I hadn't. I don't want to think of her acting the way everyone here does."
"Then imagine what it's like for me. I'm trapped here, pretending that I'm six, and I have no options. I can't make someone buy me, I can't buy myself out, I can't leave…" Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I hate it, but there's nothing I can do to change things. My parents dumped me here and now this is my life."
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I can't imagine what it's like for you. I wish there was something I could do to make things easier."
"Give me moments where I can be the adult I am, instead of having to pretend to be a child all the time. I don't know how much longer I can keep up this charade without losing my mind entirely." More tears trickled down her cheeks and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop them. "I don't know how I've done this for as long as I have. There are days when I feel like I'm literally shattering into pieces. I'm going to have to do this until the day I'm discarded."
"We'll make certain that doesn't happen."
"How? You can't afford to buy me. I definitely can't give you the money you need to do that, and that leaves the only other option—to somehow escape the facility, but I know how well that's worked for other people."
"They didn't confide in their poppas."
She snuggled her face into his neck, clutching his shirt with her small fist. "You're willing to help smuggle me out?" Her fragile question made him want to hold her forever and never let her go.
"If that's the only option, yes, I am." Costello was certain of that. He wasn't sure how they could survive the poverty of the world on what little he had saved, but he would rather die of hunger than live a single day after Juniper was discarded. "I don't want you to be trapped here for the rest of your life, because if you're discarded…" He clenched his jaw. "I don't think you want to know what happens to discarded girls."
"I probably don't, but I think I need to. I need someone to be honest with me." She removed her face from the nook of his neck and rested her head against his shoulder.
He took a deep breath and pulled her in tight. "'Discarded' is just a euphemism for murder. They kill the menopaused progenies and burn their bodies so they take up no further space."
"That's awful." She sat silently for a few moments before adding, "This isn't going to be easy for either of us now, and I kind of wish you'd never found out. By keeping my secret, you've put yourself in danger."
"You let me worry about the danger." He squeezed her. "And you're right. This isn't going to be easy for us. Getting to know you as a woman is going to make accepting you pretending to be a child even harder than it already is. But it's important for us to both play our parts until I figure a way out."
She looked up at him and smiled. "I promise I won't cover myself in make-up ever again. I know you hate that."
"Do whatever you need to do, swee—" He shook hi
s head. "I shouldn't call you that anymore."
"Call me whatever you want. I know how hard it can be to stop when you're used to calling someone by a pet name, and I don't mind being called sweetie. Over the years I've been called much worse. Some people seem to think that being a progeny is the same as being an idiot, but it's not."
* * * * *
"No, it's not." Costello sounded annoyed, which was nice. Juniper had never been able to stand up for herself, as she was meant to be a progeny, so she'd had to deal with all sorts of things she wouldn't have done otherwise. "I don't know how you haven't broken already."
"The choice was to keep pretending, even when things were at their very worst, or possibly lose my life. When there was a chance I might find myself married and get out of this hell hole, I was willing to keep pretending. Although I'm not certain that a marriage of any sort is worth the price that I've paid for it. I'm nearly twenty-nine. I want to be twenty-nine, but I can't, because I'm here. So I have to keep acting as though I'm six. Some days it's not so bad, and other days it is pure torture. Having to bathe with other people…" She shuddered. "Bath time is horrible. Four grown women sharing a bath, while three of them play with bath toys."
"You play with them as well."
"Only because I have no other option. The bath mistresses are terrible for noticing if one of us is acting a little different to normal, and I've known three other women like me to be found out by them. Ever since then, I've been even more careful when I'm in the bath to act the way I should be, because I don't want one of them to find me out. I didn't want you to find me out either, but obviously I wasn't careful enough around you."
"You did the best you could. I know that I wouldn't have been able to keep up the act for as long as you have."
She studied Costello. "Maybe there is such a thing as fate, and the whole reason I've managed to keep acting for this long is because I was supposed to meet you." She smiled. "I hope that is the case if you really are willing to help me."
"I just don't want to put your life in danger. My hope is that someone will purchase you before we have to get you out of here. There are a few other girls with their birthdays in the same month as you, so maybe I can convince the other poppas that we should have some sort of special for those girls, where corporate takes more off their price than they would do normally."
"Would you be able to afford me then?"
"No, I don't think I would."
"Would you want to buy me if you could afford me?"
He stared at her, looking as though he hadn't been expecting that sort of question, and for a minute she felt guilty, but she needed to know. She needed to know how Costello felt. If she could find love in the man who had seen her pretending to be six years old, then that was even better, because he really had seen her at her most vulnerable. Anyone who could still want her after she'd sulked over being forced to eat cookies and being covered in paint like a child was someone she wanted to be with.
Finally, Costello nodded. "Yes, I would." He kissed her cheek. "There were times when I haven't liked you very much, Juniper, and I'm certain there were times when you haven't liked me very much either, as we're both in roles that neither of us really want to be in. From the moment I realized you might be something more than you are, I knew that I wanted to get to know you as a woman. Occasionally we seemed to have moments of that, although they quickly faded away when you realized you might be giving yourself away."
She nodded. "With some poppas, it's been easier to act myself than it was with others. There are those I've dealt with who've seen a defenseless girl and all they've wanted is to force me to do what they want, no matter what that is. Fortunately, for me, they're always caught pretty quickly. Something none of the progenies are very good at is keeping secrets, as that's something we've been taught not to do for our own protection. However, there was one girl, she might well have been someone like me, who did keep her relationship with her poppa a secret until someone caught them together. When that happened, she was questioned for hours. I remember her coming back at about three in the afternoon, her eyes full of pain, and we all looked out for her. It wasn't something we'd ever been through before, and it was terrifying for the other girls."
"You think she gave up her poppa in order to keep her place here?"
"I do. Shortly afterward, she disappeared and we never saw her, or her poppa, again. But the memory of what happened to her stuck." Juniper shrugged. "One thing I never wanted to end up doing was falling in love with my poppa. Until I realized that falling in love isn't something I'd have any choice in. Falling in love happens whether you want it to or not."
"Who was it?"
"He's long gone, Costello, and he never knew that I wasn't a progeny. I'm certain it was unrequited."
"Did he touch you? Did he take advantage of you?" Anger blanketed his questions.
She shook her head. "No, never. When Jeffrey looked at me, he saw a little girl, no matter what my body was like. I'm glad he didn't fall in love with me, because I don't understand how it's possible to feel that way about someone who is mentally six, no matter what they look like. When I'm spending time with the progenies, it's obvious what they are, and there are days when I hate them. I hate them, even though this isn't their fault. I can't stand being around them. Feeling that way about them makes me hate myself as well. It's not fair that I feel that way. If I was just like them, this wouldn't bother me at all, but I'm not just like them."
Breathing deeply, she tried to push away all of the negative emotions she was feeling. Her life wasn't her choice, and the progenies' lives weren't their choice either. If they knew what they were, she was certain they would want to find a way out.
One of the things Juniper had always wondered was how a progeny dealt with their transition to an adult mind ready for marriage. Did they simply not remember the time they'd spent being a progeny? If they didn't, was it hard to suddenly be in their mid-twenties with no understanding of how they'd reached that age? If they did, how did they cope with knowing that they'd shared a bath and played like little girls? She knew these weren't questions she could ask of Costello, because he was a poppa. He dealt with the progenies, not the adult minds.
"What do we do next, Costello?"
"The only thing we can do is take one step at a time."
As their eyes met, she smiled at him.
"I'm going to look into the possibilities of an escape. Before I became a poppa I did hear of places that were safe."
"I've heard of them as well, but I don't know exactly how we'd get to them." She bit her lip. "Are you certain you think the best option is to escape?"
"No. I'd like to see if we can get you adopted for marriage first."
"You think someone will want to buy me?" She looked in the mirror. "I know I'm not as pretty as most of the girls that are out there. They're all going to get picked before me."
"Juniper Mae, if I hear you talk like that about yourself again, I will blister your ass. I don't care how old you are."
She studied herself in the mirror. "Do you think I'm pretty?"
"Beautiful. Stunning, in fact."
She turned to look at him and whispered, "I remember that night when we almost kissed. I wanted you to."
Costello took a deep breath and slowly released it. He remained silent.
"Why didn't you?" she asked quietly.
He reached out and placed his palm on the back of her head. "I've been fighting the urge for quite some time. It wasn't right. You were my progeny and I was your poppa."
She allowed him to pull her head closer. So close that their lips almost touched. Their breaths blended as one. "I'm still your progeny."
"I'm still your poppa." And with that, he pressed his lips to hers.
Sparks ignited inside her as he devoured her mouth with his. The kiss was so forceful… yet tender all the same. When his tongue pressed past her lips to tangle with hers, she couldn't hold back the soft moan she released. She moaned again as he pull
ed her body tighter against his and deepened the kiss. Juniper let him take the lead completely. She had no idea what she was doing, but everything was happening so fast. She didn't have time to think, to analyze, to realize that this was her first kiss.
"Costello…" she gasped, not sure what she wanted to say. Her head spun as the kiss grew more passionate. "Please. Please treat me like a woman. Make me yours. Claim me. Please!"
Rather than doing as she asked, Costello pulled away. He pressed his forehead to hers and took some deep, calming breaths. "I can't." He took another deep breath. "We can't. We shouldn't."
"I've been following rules for too long. Allow me to break them. Let me break the one rule that means something to me." She moved her mouth to his neck and placed soft kisses along his flesh. She moved her hand and found her way under his shirt, caressing his chest.
Costello took another deep breath and seized her hand. Pulling away from her onslaught of kisses, he softly ordered, "Stop. This isn't the time. If we get you adopted for marriage, you need to retain your virginity."
She knew he was right, but hated him for it. "I can pretend I still am. I'm good at pretending." She couldn't help but pout as he pulled her hand from underneath his shirt.
"I'm not so sure I could." He stood up and walked toward the door. Opening it, he paused and turned to look at her. "If I claim your innocence as mine, there would be no turning back. You'd be mine for good." He walked out the door and closed it behind him.
Chapter Eight
Acting like she was six was much harder for Juniper than it had been before, because she knew that Costello was aware she wasn't a progeny. Every time she caught him watching her, she felt self-conscious. So she spent play time putting make-up onto one of the dolls they had specifically for that, trying to ignore the feeling of his eyes on her. She played about, trying not to look up and make eye contact. After the kiss last night, all she could think of was Costello. She had never wanted anything as bad as she wanted to have him kiss her again.
