by Jayne Hawke
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Is everything ok?”
I glanced around and leaned back against the window of the expensive shop.
“Yea, I guess. Maybe.”
He laughed.
“I’m dress shopping.”
“Ah.”
Someone spoke to him. I couldn’t quite catch the words.
“I have to go. Text me, I want to help you through your transition. There’s a lot to learn, and it can be overwhelming. Take care.”
With that, he hung up.
He sounded so genuine. It was a refreshing change from the glares and growling that I got from Cole all of the time.
27
Cole had emerged from the shop with armfuls of bags. I offered to carry some, but he just gave me his usual scowl and carried them himself.
He’d parked in a quiet space near a small park. There was barely anyone wandering down the street. It was so peaceful.
“I need to run an errand. Stay here. I won’t be long.”
I settled myself down on the bench beneath the mature tree and tried to quell the frustration and urge to snap at him. There was no need to be such a pushy jerk all the time. I wasn’t some errant puppy that was going to run into traffic at the first possible opportunity.
Pulling out my phone, I dug out a game and lost myself in the familiar motions of trying to run around the obstacles and catch the glowy ball. I was on the ninth life when I heard something weird. Or maybe I felt something. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but it had my wolf side surging forward teeth bared and hackles raised. Looking around, I tried to figure out what the problem was.
A knife sliced through my upper arm and buried itself in the wood of the bench next to me. Another knife flew through the air and caught my ear. I was up on my feet and had my own far larger knife in my hand when the third knife whizzed by me. The urge to catch it out of the air was strong, but I knew that would end badly. I wasn’t quite that much of a badass. Yet.
Two garou casually walked over to me with their eyes yellowed and aggression rolling off them. They had their shoulders back and the tips of their canines peeking over their bottom lips. I immediately began checking their balance, movement, and so on for weaknesses.
“Turned shouldn’t exist,” the slightly taller of the pair with a blond buzzcut snarled.
I rolled my eyes.
“That’s all you’ve got?”
He bared his teeth at me. He looked ridiculous in his human form with his slightly sharper teeth bared. Given the increased fury on his face, I’m guessing my face gave away my thoughts on that. People have always said I have a very expressive face.
“We’re going to remove you from this earth,” the slighter shorter one with a beaten-up leather jacket growled.
I laughed. They sounded so cheesy, and the teeth baring just looked ridiculous. That was enough to send them over the edge.
They fought like a well-oiled machine. Blondie went for my legs, a classic wolf move. He ducked down into a low sweeping kick designed to take my legs out from under me. His packmate tried to block my ability to side-step. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have a packmate to fight at my side like that. Jake and I knew each other and sparred frequently, but a pack seemed different.
The garou were fierce and aggressive in their moves. They kept me on my toes, and I found that I had to actually try. There was a thrill that came with that, with fighting against a real opponent. I shot backwards and lunged at the leather-jacket guy. He was close on a foot taller than me, which meant if I could get in good and close, it’d be far more difficult for him to land a good blow. It was a risk, as he could wrap his arms around me and get me into a lock, but I had a big knife, and I knew how to use it.
Licking my lips, I realised just how badly I wanted to draw their blood and feel their bones crack. It was satisfying seeing the surprise and confusion on their faces as I drove them back and kicked their asses. There was always a risk of addiction with the adrenaline that came with fighting like this. It felt so much better than it ever had as a human.
Leather-jacket guy’s eyes went wide when I plunged my knife deep into his lower abdomen and dragged it up as far as I could before he began wrapping his arm around my neck. The smell of blood and organs filled the air, and I breathed deep, savouring the kill that had to be coming soon. Garou could heal well, but I wasn’t going to let him limp away from this. I pulled away only to find Blondie’s foot colliding with the side of my knee. Pain exploded through my leg, and my heart stuttered. It wasn’t so much the pain. I knew how to handle that. It was the fact that I was caught between the garou and didn’t know what to do next.
Everything had changed in the literal blink of an eye. One moment I was on top of the world dominating them, and the next I was trapped and immobilised.. A millisecond of panic clouded my mind. The smell of blood and sound of bone crunching snapped me back out of it. My instincts kicked in and I knew exactly what I needed to do. The need to put them down and prove myself to the wider community was strong, almost overwhelming. I was not going to submit to them or anyone else. They were going to respect me.
The sensation of my knee healing was a weird thing that kept slowing down my thought processes. Blondie’s small knife sank into my outer thigh and sliced downwards. Hot blood trickled down my skin. The scent of it filled my nostrils and brought out the rage of my wolf side. My blood being spilt was something very different to theirs. It meant that I needed to end them and demonstrate how bad their decision was to attack me in the first place.
I leapt up onto Leather Jacket, wrapping my legs around his waist as I drove my knife into the base of his neck and sliced upwards. It was a vicious move than left his expression one full of shock as his jaw hung slack. It felt so damn good. Hot blood coated my hand and wrist. He gurgled and started to drop to the ground as his packmate yanked me backwards off him.
I landed on my feet. Those years of martial arts training had their uses. Blondie ignored me as he wrapped his hand around his packmate’s neck and glared at me.
“You crazy bitch,” he snarled.
I stepped closer to him. “Want me to finish the job?”
“If you dare try and touch my shadow again, you will beg for death,” Cole said coldly.
Great, so now he shows up.
The two garou looked between Cole and me with understanding slowly dawning. They ducked their heads and left as quickly as they could.
There was blood everywhere. Droplets of it clung to the tips of the blades of grass. My dress was covered in it, what remained of it anyway. There were slices tearing half of it into ribbons. It had taken me three months to save up for a pretty dress.
I glared at Cole. His timing was suspicious. Had he set all of this up? Was it some lesson, or were they meant to succeed?
28
Neither of us spoke a word on the drive back to my apartment. Cole kept looking at me with a small frown that could have meant anything from his being worried about my injuries, through to disappointment that the other garou hadn’t killed me. He tried to stop and get me lunch at some drive-thru, but I just wanted to get home and out of the blood-stained rags that had been my dress.
“Don’t forget to eat lots of protein,” he said as he handed me the bags.
They were all in some expensive shiny white with silver or gold script-style text. I didn’t remember picking up that much stuff, but I was starving and didn’t really care all that much.
“Let me walk you to your door.”
“I just have to ride the elevator. If I get taken out in the distance between here and my apartment I had it coming,” I said drily.
Cole’s frown deepened, but he turned and got back into his car. What had I gotten myself into?
I had to use Jake’s account to order an obscene amount of Chinese takeaway. My bank account looked absolutely dire, and there wasn’t enough food in the flat to handle the healing hunger. At least I wasn’t gett
ing dizzy and faint-y that time. I took that as progress.
Jake walked in just as I was about to check where on earth my food had gotten to. It had been due five minutes ago, and I was getting irrationally angry about that fact. My cami and short-shorts suddenly felt far too revealing. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked around for a hoodie or something to hide with. That was when I realised just how much things had changed between Jake and me. Usually I wandered around in a sleep-cami and shorts, while half asleep, and didn’t have a care in the world. That was just how we were with each other.
Deep creases formed between his eyes, and his mouth tugged down into a frown.
“What happened?”
He placed the bags of food on the floor, and I lunged for them without thinking.
“Rosalyn,” Jake said putting his hand on my upper arm.
Concern filled his face.
“A pair of garou tried to kill me.”
I took the food into the kitchen and picked out the sweet and sour chicken, which I started devouring.
“Are you ok? Where? Why? Talk to me,” he said softly.
I glared at him.
“Talk to you? You’re the one who vanished without so much as a word.”
He looked away and sat down opposite me.
“Things are complicated right now. Tell me who tried to kill you and why.”
I popped another piece of chicken in my mouth and chewed while I debated how much I wanted to tell him. Things were crumbling fast, and I hated it. He’d been my anchor, and I was feeling increasingly adrift. Only a few days ago, I’d have curled up in his arms and let him take me away from the darkness in the world. Now, I wasn’t sure how much I could trust him. Some of it was the sharpness of my wolf side, but he was hiding things. That was never good, especially from a fae.
I shrugged.
“A pair of garou. I was out with Cole.”
He narrowed his eyes and tried to wrap his hands around mine.
“I’m sorry, Rosalyn.”
I jerked my hands away and finished the last of my chicken. The hunger was abating, and I could think a little more clearly. The hurt in his eyes made my chest ache.
“You don’t get to look hurt when you’re the one hiding things and pushing me away.”
He closed his eyes and sighed.
“I suppose that’s fair,” he said flatly.
He looked deflated. The usual spark that filled him was dull and almost missing. I wanted to see him smile with that brilliance he always used to have.
“I’ve set a meeting time and place with the Hela witch.”
“When and where are we doing this? Should I bring anything?”
“You’re not coming, Rosalyn.”
“Excuse me? We do everything together! You might need back-up. We don’t know anything about this witch.”
“I think it’s better if this is something I do alone.”
He stood and left the room. Conversation over.
29
Jake had left not long after our conversation. A large grocery delivery full of various meat products arrived a couple of hours later. He was thinking about me, in a weird way. That somehow made it worse. I was beginning to feel like a weight around his neck.
I texted Valentin, as I needed someone to talk to. Someone who might understand. The feeling of loneliness and the desire for a pack around me bloomed over the course of the evening. Cole should have been at the top of my list, but he was always brooding. The answers he gave were minimalist at best. I tried watching my usual favourites, but they all felt flat and empty. It didn’t matter if they were my favourite episodes or something new I hadn’t seen before. Music didn’t help, and I couldn’t face baking. Wolves weren’t meant to be alone.
Valentin replied first thing in the morning with an offer of coffee at a nice little cafe not too far from the apartment. It gave me something to look forward to. A little garou company could do me good, and maybe I’d be able to figure out what was so weird about him. I tried to tell myself that the spell thing was just the wolfsbane, but I remained cautious nonetheless.
The cafe was close enough to walk to, and I was itching to go and run again. My wolf side couldn’t decide if it wanted to run or jump Valentin more. Walking there seemed to satisfy both needs. The weather was beautiful and clear. The sky was a crystalline blue without a cloud in sight. Everyone had a smile on their face as they enjoyed the warm weather. The town felt more vibrant and alive than it had done in a few days. Or that could have been me, finally waking up from whatever darkness I’d fallen into.
I walked past Taste of Heaven and saw Keira behind the counter. She wore a big false smile that looked almost creepy. To my surprise, there wasn’t any resentment or anger there. Baking had been my dream for a long time, but I was embracing the new me, and it felt pretty good. There was no reason why I couldn’t bake for myself and really learn on my own if the desire struck.
The cafe Valentin had chosen was set back off the main street with vibrant trees planted outside providing natural shade for those who preferred to sit outside. I stepped inside, and the smell of coffee and vanilla hit me, making me smile. My mouth watered as I walked past the freshly baked tartlets. I’d never been able to make those quite right. Pastry just wasn’t my thing. Valentin was sitting in the corner waiting for me. He watched me approach with a warm smile that lit his eyes. He stood when I got close and pulled my chair out for me. No one had done that for me before. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about it.
He passed me a menu, and his fingertips grazed mine, sending a spark of electricity through me. I didn’t know if this was a date or just two garou hanging out, but my wolf side knew how it was taking it.
“How’re you today? Did you get a dress?”
Rather than stare me down as Cole did, his eye contact carried curiosity but no aggression. His eyes roamed my face, and his smile remained in place.
“I’m ok, thanks. Yea, I settled on something.”
I focused on the menu in front of me. They had so many types of coffee from various countries, I wasn’t sure what half of them were. Maybe this thing with Valentin had been a mistake. There was still a risk that he was a serial killer. My wolf side was desperate to jump him, and that in and of itself seemed wrong.
“I recommend the drip coffee from Cameroon,” Valentin said.
“Then I’ll get that, thanks.”
“Did Cole explain what being his shadow means?”
I frowned. That sounded like I’d missed something.
“It means I’m his protege and under his protection.”
Valentin gave a slow nod and reached over to place his hand on mine.
“It means so much more than that, I’m afraid.”
My stomach sank. I should have asked Cole. I’d been so ready to have a little sanctuary, somewhere safe while I established myself in the supernatural world.
“He will be able to feel you at all times. It means that he owns you.”
My jaw dropped. Cole should have told me about something so extreme. My shock turned into anger, I growled.
“It is traditionally an honor to be taken as someone’s shadow. Only the highest ranking take them on, and the position does come with protection and training. That being said, the bond is very tight, and there is no getting out of it. As I said, he owns and controls you now, and will do for the next fifty years.”
I mentally kicked myself and tried to get a grasp on it. Valentin and Cole both said there was no way out of it, but there had to be some loophole or something.
“Have you considered that he might be the rogue?”
A chill ran through me. Valentin had to be wrong, there was no way that someone as respected as Cole was the rogue. He was working very hard to get me to doubt Cole. My wolf side snarled at that thought.
“He clearly wishes to control you. He’s been alone longer than any pack wolf can normally sustain, and the rogue’s activities have declined since he’s had regular contact
with you.”
Had I been stupid enough to bind myself to the rogue?
30
The coffee was rich with a soft nuttiness that I really enjoyed. It was by far the best coffee I’d ever tasted, which, given the price, it really should have been. Valentin paid for both coffees without thinking, thankfully. It still made me feel bad. I desperately needed to get some more income and stand on my own two feet.
“Come back to my place so we can talk freely,” Valentin said with a smile.
There was no command there, just a friendly offer so we didn’t have to keep choosing our words fearing who was eavesdropping. I still wasn’t convinced that it was a good idea. He oozed predatory intent, and while I had a couple of knives on me, I wasn’t arrogant enough to think they’d make it a fair fight.
The older woman two tables away from us pursed her lips and scrunched her face when Valentin said that. Her tight curls sat close to her skull and revealed the steel-grey roots she was trying to hide with a dark blonde dye. I smiled sweetly at her as we stood. Deep wrinkles creased around her hard brown eyes, and she huffed. We were depriving her of her entertainment.
I followed Valentin out of the cafe and tried to decide it was a good idea to go back to his place. A large part of me desperately wanted information, and a chance at seeing Valentin’s bedroom. The other, far more sensible part said he’d have the advantage in his home, and I barely knew him.
The curious lustful side won out. I was a merc, I’d started training when I could walk. It was time to have a bit more faith in myself and prove to the world that I wasn’t the little errand girl everyone thought.
“I’d love to go back to yours and really talk. Thanks,” I said smiling.
Valentin’s fingers grazed mine before he walked ahead to his car. He opened the passenger door for me, and I ducked down into the comfortable seats.
His place looked very different in the daylight. It was a modern building with little touches that made it into something more than a plain box. A simple moulding sat around the upper windows, giving them a more natural look with a leaf pattern. The curtains and blinds were all in modern greys and steely blues, which fit Valentin well. He was confident in his designer jeans and well-fitted expensive t-shirt. Everything about him was sleeker and more finished than with Cole or Jake.
