Mom settles in her seat, getting more comfortable as she waits for me to answer her. There’s a content smile on her face that I really wanted to avoid. I don’t want Mom to think this is me getting too serious. I’m already a bit freaked out with how serious this has become already.
I mean, not really, but I will if Mom starts chatting too much about it.
“She’s got long dark hair and bright green eyes, a pretty face too, but honestly, Mom, I don’t want you to get too excited by this without letting me explain.” Mom doesn’t say anything which gives me a moment to keep on talking. “This isn’t something huge and exciting. She’s just a girl that I like and I’ve been spending some time with. She got herself into a bit of a situation with her home and I’ve invited her to come and stay with me for a while just until she gets something else.”
Mom nods slowly. “So, where did you meet this girl?”
“She’s a waitress at a bar I go to a lot, but I know it’s a job that she isn’t happy with. I’m hoping that by staying with me she will be able to find her passion.”
“I see. I think... I think I might need to meet her, don’t you? I don’t want you to start getting mixed up with the wrong girl.”
“This isn’t me getting mixed up, Mom. I know what I’m doing. I know what I’m doing with Serena. It really isn’t an issue. I know that you’re worried about me but you honestly don’t have to be. She’s a good person, she just needs this help.”
“I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t think you need someone to take care of you, I think I just want to meet her to see what she’s like. I want to know what’s so captivating about her.”
I roll my eyes. There’s clearly no getting away from this. She will make herself known to Serena whether I like it or not. I think it’s best that I take control of things and make sure she doesn’t do anything too damn embarrassing just because she cares.
“You can, Mom, but she only just moved in yesterday and she has work tonight.”
“I thought she was giving up the job.”
“Well that’s what I told her to do, but she doesn’t want to leave the company in the lurch. She’s good like that. She’s just going to ask to work behind the bar a couple of nights a week rather than being a shot girl every night. I said she doesn’t need to do anything but she wants to pay her way and save up some money so she can eventually, you know, move out or go her own way or whatever. The tips won’t be as good, but she’ll still have some form of income.”
“Oh well that’s good. She has some form of independence then, she doesn’t want to live solely off you. I think I might like her even more now.” Mom pauses thoughtfully for a moment. “Maybe this is the one that you should marry.”
Still, even now after meeting Serena the idea of getting married is too much. The thought of a big white wedding, a lifetime commitment, a contract that’s really hard to get out of... it’s terrifying. I’m not old enough, not mature enough, not anything enough actually. The fact that I’m letting things progress this much with Serena is enough.
“Mom, don’t make it something stressful, I already told you not to get too excited. This is just me helping her out. You’ll see when you meet her, we like each other, but it’s nothing to get carried away about.”
“You like each other? That’s reason enough for me.” Mom sits back in her seat and sips her coffee triumphantly. Her expression almost makes me laugh, she looks so damn pleased. “So tell me more about her. How old is she? What does she like? What are her family like?”
As I reel off the minimal details I do know about Serena, Mom lights up. I can see that every word I say only makes her like her more. In one way I’m really happy, but in another I’m terrified. In the romance department I’ve always been a let down to my mother. I don’t want to continue on with that tradition.
“She sounds like a lovely small town girl. You will have to bring her out to have dinner with me some time. Maybe at the weekend?”
“Ooh, I don’t know, Mom. Maybe, it might be too soon though. I don’t want to put the pressure on.”
“Maybe I should just pop into the city sometime then, swing by and meet her then in a much more casual setting. What do you think?”
“Yeah, that would probably work, Mom, but if you do come around please be cool. Don’t come in all heavy handed and freak her out. There’s no point in giving me that look, you know as well as I do that you could.”
Mom holds up her hands in defeat. “Fine, if I pop by I’ll be good. I won’t say anything to embarrass you.” Her face softens and I can see that she’s about to talk about Dad before she even begin. “You know, my Dad always humiliated me in front of your dad when we first started dating. It was awful, I hated him for it. I was so desperate not to give him any reason not to love me and I thought my father would be a problem... luckily he wasn’t.”
“It seems like Dad loved you a lot, Mom.” I always feel silly and stiff when I make these remarks because I don’t know. He might be genetically a part of me, but that’s it. “From everything that you’ve told me, it sounds like you had it great.”
“Let me go and get some pictures,” Mom says wistfully standing up. “I haven’t looked through the photographs in a while, but hearing about you and Serena has inspired me. You don’t mind, do you?” I shake my head, knowing that she will anyway. “Oh he would be so proud of you, finding the one.”
“I didn’t say that she’s the one Mom...”
But it’s too late, she’s already gone leaving me to stew in the sheer terror that she’s instilled in me. I know Serena isn’t expecting much, I can tell that she understands me, but what if that changes? What if our differences suddenly become too apparent and that translates into what we want? What if this is all novelty at the moment, and it wears off? What if just as I’m getting bored, Serena is getting more into it? Or the other way around, I can’t deny it could happen that way too...
Oh God, just stop it, I warn myself. I knew this would happen, coming to see Mom. I just need to stop freaking out before I wreck everything.
I get up and pace the room while I wait for Mom to come back with the endless photographs. There’s far too much of an itch in my foot for me to keep still. It’s okay, logically I’m sure it’ll be fine if me and Serena take this one step at a time, but now my brain is a bit too messy for that to be the only thought I have.
“Ooh, look, I’ve found one where he looks just like you.” Mom’s back and she has the photos with her. “Same eyes, same hair, same everything.”
Maybe getting myself lost in the past for a little while will help me to forget about my uncertain present. It’ll keep Mom distracted too, and since she’s the one pushing for me to have a happy ever after, she’s the one I need to calm down. The wild dancing look in her eyes is already dying down, if I can just get her to forget about Serena for long enough so I can leave without her messing me up even more, then that’s what I’ll do.
“Let me have a look. Mom.” I take the picture from her, trying to ignore the sheer pain it gives me inside. This isn’t for me, this is for Mom. I’ll do anything to keep her happy. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one before.”
Chapter Fourteen – Serena
I’m singing, actually humming a tune with happiness as I set about making breakfast for me and Ben. Jenny has left for her cruise, the rug of my life has been yanked out from underneath me, and yet I’m happy. I guess not all change has to be bad news.
Admittedly, I was a little nervous when I first moved into Ben’s home. There was a small part of me that could see over the rose tinted glasses into everything that could go wrong, but nothing has so far. It’s been smooth sailing. I have my own room – not that I’ve stayed in there much to be honest – we have our own space and privacy, but we can be together a lot too. It’s actually really awesome. Every moment I spend with Ben I find myself liking him more and more, he’s growing on me in the best way possible. I feel like I might well be falling in love wi
th him, and it’s the most gorgeous, velvety feeling of all.
Of course, he wants me to leave the club and at first I thought I wanted that too, but as I spoke to the manager, who I now know is called Burt, he freaked out. Me and Jenny leaving at the same time was just too much for him at once. Apparently he doesn’t have as many girls wanting the job as he once did. So I negotiated with him. I asked him if I could take a couple of shifts a week behind the bar in normal clothing, which is something that I’m much better at than being a shot girl anyway. I actually quite like it, even if the money is less. It gives me some independence and a little bit of a nest egg to get me started when the moment comes.
“Good morning.” Ben comes up behind me and he circles my waist with his arms. As he buries his face into my hair my heart races faster. Everything he does makes me feel amazing, I have yet to find anything I don’t like about him. “How are you doing today?”
“I’m good,” I reply with a smile on my face. “I’m just cooking you some eggs because I know you must have a busy day at the office today.”
“I might not go into work today,” he replies while running kisses over my neck. “I might just stay home with you all day.”
I turn around and I wrap my arms around his neck. I push myself up onto my tiptoes so I can press my lips up against his. “I don’t think you should take any time off work because of me, I don’t want everything to go under without you.”
“It won’t,” he insists. “I have people who can do everything for me.”
“But you were never away before.” I don’t phrase this as a question, despite the fact that I don’t really know the answer. I just assume that’s the case judging by his ambitious nature. “So I don’t want you to change things up for me.”
He wraps his fingers around my butt and smirks. “I know, but I want to. You’re so damn worth it.”
The dream is so real, I try not to get caught up in the whirlwind nature of it anymore. Somehow, we’re making it work. Ben hasn’t been out partying every single night since I’ve moved in, he prefers to spend time with me, I think he’s actually calmed down quite a lot, and I find myself opening up to him more than I ever have anyone before. We’ve changed each other, and I think it’s in a really good way. So far it seems like we’ve brought the best out in one another.
“Well you have to have breakfast first, I didn’t spend all morning slaving over it for nothing!” I take a step back and Ben lets me. He’s so horny all the time, but he’s also really respectful when I want to do other things as well. I think I’ve met the perfect man in him. “I’ve made this nice for you, whether you’re going to work or not, and I’m going to make sure that you do, so take a seat and wait for it.”
“Ooh, I do love it when you boss me around,” Ben teases. “I’ll just sit right here like a good boy and wait for it.”
I plate up the food and put it in front of him. Then I join him at the dining table to eat my own. I only have one of Ben’s oversized tee shirts on, it barely covers my butt, but around Ben I don’t have any reason to feel self conscious. Nothing can be worse than the shot girl attire, and that’s what I was wearing when he fell for me.
“So, how was your visit to your Mom?” I ask while stuffing a forkful of food into my mouth. “I forgot to ask you yesterday.”
“It was really something,” he answers me, sounding a little weary at the memory. “She’s quite full on, I warn you. When I tried to tell her about our new situation she got really excited and even started talking about marriage.”
Ben rolls his eyes but the idea of a big white wedding gets me excited. I’ve always dreamed about my big special day and the thought that Ben could be at the other end of the aisle is an awesome idea. I would absolutely love for him to be my husband and with the way things are going at the moment I can’t see that changing.
“But she hasn’t ever met me,” I joke instead of saying all of that. “She might hate me, how can she think that we should get married.”
“Oh the description of you was enough, trust me.”
I want to ask Ben what she said, I’m really intrigued to know how Ben would speak about me to others, but I can’t ask. If he doesn’t want to divulge the information then what can I do? I just nod and say nothing, internally praying that he’ll reveal all anyway.
“Then she got out all these pictures of Dad and started saying that I look like him.” Oh, okay, this conversation has taken a much more serious tone. “It was weird because when she talks about him I don’t know what to say. Sometimes I don’t think she realises that.”
“I’m sure she wants to just keep him alive and part of your history,” I reply gravely. “I’m sure she assumes that she’s helping when she talks about him.”
Ben doesn’t say anything but I can see him contemplating my words. It’s like I can see the cogs in his brain spinning at a million miles an hour. I remain silent and let him think things through, while enjoying my breakfast. I never had food as good as this back at the apartment, I always had to buy the cheapest of the cheap. I’m sure I’m going to put on a lot of weight while being here and it tastes so good that I don’t even care.
“Anyway, I don’t want to worry about that today.” He stands up and puts his empty plate on the kitchen side. “If you’re going to force me back into work then I need to get my head back in the game.”
“Right. So why don’t you tell me what you have to do today? Maybe that will help you get your head in the game.”
He leans over me and places kisses all over my cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about work, I want to talk about you.”
I jump up and laugh. He thinks that he’s about to lure me into something sexual this morning, I can tell by the glint in his eyes, but he isn’t. Much as I’m tempted I would much rather him get into the office. I’m concerned about his company, I might not understand anything about it but I’m sure he’s the key element. The last thing I want is for him to end up resenting me because I’ve made him fail.
“I’ll tell you what.” I lean up and kiss him again. “Why don’t you go to work now, and I’ll send you sexy little text messages all day long. I don’t have work today at all so I can focus solely on you. When you can’t hack it anymore, come home and we’ll do whatever you want.”
“Urgh, you’re killing me,” he groans. “That is such a hot idea, but what if I can’t hack it for very long?”
“Oh I think you will,” I smirk back. “Because you know for a fact that the messages will get better and better throughout the day. It might be delayed gratification but you know that it’ll be worth it.”
Finally he takes a step back from me and he runs his eyes up and down my body, dragging them slowly over. “You really know how to play the game, Serena. I think I might have met my match in you.”
I wiggle my hips playfully and send him a wink. I want to keep him on his toes, I love that he feels that way about me. The way that Ben sees me honestly brings me right out of my shell. “You certainly have. Now get to work. I shall see you when you get home.”
“Fine, but I want my first message before I even get there.”
I walk him to the door and wave him off, already feeling like a wife. My brain spins, trying to plan my first text to Ben that will start things off in a slow and sexy way, but before the car is even out of sight it rings. I half think it might be Ben trying something new with me, but the name on the screen tells me that it’s my best friend.
“Jenny!” I crow into the handset. “How are you? How is life out at sea?”
“Good, good.” Her voice is distant which reminds me just how far away she is. “Things are really great, I’m loving life as a dancer, I think that’s what I was always meant to be.”
“Oh that’s wonderful.” I can be genuine with my happiness for her now that I have my life settled too. “I’m so glad to hear about it. It’s good that you’ve found your life’s calling. Where are you right now?”
“Headed towards somewhere in Asia. I�
�m not sure exactly.” She pauses for a moment. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good actually.” I feel pleased that I can actually say that and be truthful. “Things are working out alright.”
“You found somewhere to live in the end?”
Admittedly I haven’t told her the truth about what I’m doing but that’s because I know she’ll freak. She’s a bit of a cynic when it comes to romance, nothing like me. I smile to myself but still remain evasive for the time being.
“Yes, I found somewhere. I’m still at the club too, but not as a shot girl anymore, behind the bar.”
“There’s less money in that,” Jenny warns. “But I’m sure you’re much happier. I probably should have thought about that for you in the first place.”
“Oh don’t you worry about that, it all worked out okay in the end. It’s good to hear from you though, I didn’t think I’d get anything for about ten months!”
Unprepared Daddy Page 9
