“Good Night Isobel,” I hear the security guard say as I walk across the lobby.
“Night!” I stare at the stone floor on my approach to the revolving door.
I lift my head as I step into the street, the nose from the traffic and the cabs becomes quickly deafening. The sidewalks are filled with people on their way home, or just heading out for a night on the town. I glance upwards at the sky and see it looks like it might rain.
I pull up the collar on my jacket and take my first few steps.
“Isobel!” I hear from behind me.
I stop in my tracks and turn with a broad smile on my face. Is that Christian’s voice?
I glance around the faces looking for Christian, but I see no sign of him anywhere, I feel a little dismayed, and maybe it was someone else with the same name.
“Isobel!” I hear again as a body emerges from the crowd.
“Leo, is that you, what are you doing here?”
Oh my God, what’s he doing here? I’m disappointed and annoyed at the same time. Ever since Agnes sent me the photo of him, I haven’t heard from him. To make matters even stranger, I haven’t heard from Agnes either. Then again, I’ve been too busy with Christian to talk to her. Shoot, that reminds me she was due to come today. Did he come in her place?
“I think I made a mistake.”
I shake my head, I don’t really want to listen to his ramblings.
“Did you come instead of Agnes?”
He nods, and I realize why she’s been quiet. He probably told her that he wanted to come and see me. She could have warned me. Thank goodness Christian’s not around otherwise he wouldn’t be happy at all.
“What do you mean you made a mistake?”
I hate it when people talk in riddles, especially when it’s my ex. The one that cheated on me, and didn’t even bother to apologize. He’s standing here and before I would have been happy thinking that maybe one day we’ll get married. Right now, I couldn’t think of anything worse than getting married to the likes of him.
“I thought so too, but, it’s not the same without you,” he puts his hands on my arm. I walk back. I don’t want him and I certainly don’t need him.
“I’m not the same without you,” he says as he puts his hands in his pockets.
“So, what do you want? What do you want from me?”
I need to go, this conversation’s pointless and I want to talk to Christian. I want us to have a conversation which doesn’t revolve around sex.
“I’ve thought about everything, and I realize the only way to put it all right is to come here for you,” he’s pleading with me and I don’t feel moved at all. I don’t want to go and sit down in a coffee shop and most of all I don’t want him to come back to my place.
“It’s over!”
I know it sounds harsh, but it’s what he deserves.
“You didn’t even bother to hide the fact that you’re with her.”
I can’t even say her name.
“You cheated on me, when I thought that we were going to grow old together. I’ve got over it. I suggest that you do the same.”
“But I can’t.”
“Too bad Leo. When you were caught. Did you even call me? Did you even tell me that you’re sorry?”
People are looking at us as they pass by, but I don’t care. He’s got a real nerve coming here and expecting me to take him back. I don’t want him. It’s too little too late. He can’t answer the question, so I start to walk away.
That’s when he blurts out, “I love you.”
After all this time, he now wants to say it. I stop for a second, I’m hesitating whether to give him a piece of my mind. Then I decide that it’s not worth it. He’s not worth it and then I keep on walking. Straight back out of his life.
Chapter 17
Christian
I didn’t call her on video chat that night. I knew that I was coming back early, so I thought that I’ll come to the office and surprise her.
“You’re back early.”
“I know, the meetings went well, I was going to tell you…”
I’m about to say on video chat. I knew then that there was a possibility of me coming back early, but I didn’t want to say it and then it didn’t happen. So, I thought that I’ll come to the office and surprise her.
I can tell that she’s a little happy, but not as much as I expected her to be.
“Do you mind coming into my office and letting know what’s been going on since I’ve been away.”
She nods her head and then follows me while giving me the run down. I’ve kept in touch with the emails and so I don’t need her to give me granite details, but she does it which is nice. I’m thinking about what she said on video chat. About us having a conversation, I want to tell her something, but first I need her to sit down and close the door. She does that and she’s still ranting as if maybe something’s on her mind too.
“Is something bothering you?”
She winces a bit and then slouches in the chair. The one that I made her come so many times in one day. I still smile when I think of her that day.
“Leo arrived in town yesterday, and it was totally unexpected,” Isobel starts to explain.
“He told me he had made a mistake, and he had come for me, and that it is me he loves,” she suddenly stops and just looks at me. I must admit that I’m partially jealous that he’s here. I want to ask her more. Did he stay with her? Did they get together last night? But then I can see that judging by her face, that wasn’t the case.
“Well, it may be for the best, a country boy for a country girl, what could be better,” I reply in a gruff tone. “You probably belong together, the two of you in your dungarees and your straw hats. It’ll be a dream come true, and you will be like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, fucking straw everywhere.”
This isn’t going to work. I came here to tell her that we should go on a date. We should maybe see how it goes. As soon as she mentioned her ex. I became jealous. No fucking mad. The idea that the fucking prick’s back and she’s considering taking him back rubs me up the wrong way. Then again, he’s a kid. She’s a kid and I’m too fucking old. I can show her a good time in the bedroom, but that’s about all I can do for now or even in the future.
“Why are you talking like that? I thought that you would be upset. I mean it’s a big deal to me. I was supposed to marry him…”
“Go ahead and fucking marry him then. What do I care?”
She starts to sniff, “What about us?”
I stand up and make myself very clear, “You wanted to lose your virginity. I helped you do that. There is no us. On video chat you were asking for us to have a conversation. That’s not going to happen sweetheart. Do you see me conversing with anyone?”
She whispers, “No.”
My fucking temper! I fucking hate it at the best of times.
“Look I’m cranky and I shouldn’t have come straight to the office. I hope you and your fiancee sort things out. I need to go.”
This is exactly why I don’t get attached, I can’t fucking handle my emotions. I grab my laptop and she’s not moving, there’s tears streaming down her eyes. I should comfort her. There’s just one problem as I stand and feel completely helpless. I haven’t got a fucking clue how.
I whisper, “Sorry.”
Then I leave my office, a couple of people try to stop me on the way. Maybe my face said it all. I was a man not to be messed with, especially today.
***
As I get home, things just got even worse. I’m at my gate just about to get home. Jonah announces, “There’s someone waiting for you at the gate sir.”
Oh, who the fuck is it now?
It can’t be Isobel, I left her crying in my office like the fucking jackass that I am at the best of times. I roll down my window and he approaches the car.
“Scott, what are you doing here.”
Fuck! Not today! I’m about to tell Jonah to press the button and make sure that my cousin doesn�
�t get in.
“I need to speak to you urgently!”
I nod for him to get in the car, “You better get in then.”
It takes whatever strength I have left in my body to say that. What do these gold diggers want this time?
They’re always after something, help me with this or give me a hand with that, I just wish they would fuck off and leave me alone.
He sits in the car and closes the door. Thank God, he didn’t expect Jonah to open the door for him. We reach the house, I get out of the car and stand to look at it.
“Come on Scott, let’s get you inside,” I say as I open the door and turn on the lights. I’m annoyed that he’s here but then there’s another part of me that could do with the company. It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone apart from Jonah. He’s the only company that I have in the case and he’s paid staff.
“Thanks, Christian, it’s appreciated.”
I didn’t notice at first, but as I climb up the few steps to get into my house. I notice that Scott’s still behind me. Shit, he’s only a couple of years older than me and he’s walking like a man that’s over ninety.
“What’s wrong with you?”
He smiles, “Do you mind if I get a glass of water?”
I shake my head, thinking that he must be thirsty, I wonder how long he was standing at the gate?
“How long were you waiting.”
He coughs, “Not long.”
I sigh, “Right. This is going to be one of those conversations. The type where I do all the talking and I’m not in the fucking mood right now. I hate the way that I blew off at Isobel, I think that after she’s done in the office, I’ll get Jonah to pick her up. Or maybe I’ll go there and buy her some flowers? That’s what guys do when they apologize. They buy flowers. Fuck, I wonder if that’s what her ex did? Come to the office with fucking flowers, telling her some shit about he doesn’t want to be with the other girl.
I hand Scott the glass of water. He drinks it like a fucking fish, as if he hasn’t had anything to drink for years.
“Steady on.”
He shakes his head, “Can I have some more?”
“Shit, did you come here to just drink my water?”
He whispers again, “No, I was outside for a while before you came.”
I nod, “I see. Well, you could have told me that you were coming and then you wouldn’t have had to wait.”
He chokes once again as he knocks back the glass of water. I’m about to ask him if he wants something to eat, but then he says, “I’ve been trying to contact you, but there was no answer, and you never return any calls.”
I feel embarrassed about being caught like this, but I save face by saying, “Well if you told me that you were coming.”
“What Christian? You would have invited me and the family out for a meal. We know what you think about us. It’s pretty clear that you take after your dad.”
I hate the fact that he mentioned his name. It’s true that my dad was the one who always told me that all they wanted was his money. Mom tried to stay in touch with them, but dad always pulled her away telling her that they’re his family and he knows what they’re really after. Money.
“I’m dying and I know that I don’t have much time left. I just wanted to see you before I go.”
Shit, he’s talking as if he’s taking a trip somewhere. I look at his faded jeans, his shirt looks worn and I think about the money that I have and at the end of the day, it’s not as if I have anyone to share it with. All this time I spend on working, it feels as if it’s all in vain.
I don’t admit it to him, but as we sit in silence in my kitchen. He continues to tell me what’s going on, “Anyway, I know that I can do with the distraction from slowly dying,” Scott says, as he coughs into his handkerchief and his spittle shows dashes of blood in it.
Fuck! This shit’s all messed up. I feel a wave of guilt, because maybe he didn’t have proper insurance and there could have been a way for us to spend time together like we used to as kids. That’s before my uncle asked my dad for a loan and that’s when my dad told us that we could no longer play together.
I sit and listen to Scott confide in me of his predicament and how it all started, he’s managed to spend time with other family members yet some of them had backed away.
“What do you mean that some of our family don’t want to speak to you?”
“Some of them especially the older generation don’t want to be reminded of death. They seem to think that they’re going to live forever.”
“What about Carol?”
His wife, this must be hard on her.
“She left me around five years ago. I was out of work and she got fed up and left.”
Shit, I didn’t even know.
“And we had no children, before you ask. Which I used to feel sad about, but right now. It’s kind of good that we didn’t. I wouldn’t want them to see me like this.”
We sit in silence and then he says, “Look I’ve just come to spend time with you. We used to hang out loads when we were kids.”
I nod, “I know, I remember I missed when you couldn’t come over anymore.”
“Just because my dad asked yours for a grand.”
A measly grand, shit all this time I didn’t even know how much it was that he wanted to borrow. Now, Scott’s said it, I’ve been living in a shelter, not paying attention to anyone else, but myself.
“Not even Aunt Rose? Doesn’t she want to know?”
I just can’t believe that the whole family’s turned their back on him.
“Especially Aunt Rose. She was mad with dad after her asked yours for the money. She stopped talking to him back then. She said that he caused a rift in the family.”
I can’t get over what he’s saying, because it shouldn’t be a surprise. My family’s one of the most twisted people that I know. This is part of the reason that I tend to stay away from them. Apart from the times I used to play with Scott, there was always some family feud about little things, made out to be great big things.
“The sad part was mom never had any family. She was always trying to get dad to see things her way. But he never did.”
“As I said, we all know who you took after Christian,” he’s smiling at me and I know that he’s right but it really gets to me. As much as I’m trying to get my behavior with Isobel out of my mind. I’m finding it fucking hard to do that.
“That is why I’ve come now, just to spend some time with you. Can’t we just let bygones, be bygones?”
He holds out his hand and then I’m ready to shake it and he laughs, “You’re still falling for that old trick!”
I hit him at the back of the head and said, “I’m not the only one!”
A silly game that we used to play as kids, just that this time I’m not chasing after him. I smile as I think about the good old days, shit how time flies.
“As for the rest of the family, we could spend all night talking about them.”
He sighs and then there’s that awkward silence. The one where we don’t know what to do next.
“But I know that you’re tired Christian, so if you like I can come back tomorrow.”
“How do you know I was away?”
“I was here yesterday.”
“Shit, and you came back today Scott. Damn! You’re not going anywhere, we have around fifteen years of catching up to do.”
“Don’t you have a little lady here that’ll probably not want me around?”
The one topic that I don’t really want to talk about. Women.
“Not really, well sort off…”
“Damn! What’s happened to my big cousin? Seems like he’s in love or something. I know that look far too well.”
I shake my head at the idea of it. I miss her. Crave her. Love, no I wouldn’t go that far. We haven’t even been on a date. Then again, I haven’t exactly asked her, that’s what I planned on doing, before I ran out of the door and managed to make a fool of myself at the same tim
e.
“Nah, it’s complicated. If anything you’re the one that needs rest. Not me.”
I feel like signing him a check right now!
Fuck, I’ve been an ass always thinking of myself and I decide that I’m going to make a change. I won’t become a man version of Florence Nightingale over night, but everyone needs to start somewhere.
“Enough about me. You’re going to spend the night here. Go lie down and later we can talk. Maybe I’ll cook us a little something later on.”
Unprepared Daddy Page 82
