by Erica Penrod
Mandy stopped. “I’m sorry.” She took a step back and saw purple clouds form in Blake’s eyes.
He exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair. “No, don’t apologize. We’re just got caught up in the past. I know you don’t want that with me.” Blake’s eyes closed as if he were trying to hold in his emotions.
“No.” She shook her head and touched his arm. Blake looked at her hand on him and then into her face. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s not?” Lines appeared across his forehead.
“No.” She tried to collect her thoughts, but she didn’t know how to explain what she was feeling. “I want to kiss you; I just don’t think that’s the best thing for me to do right now.”
“Why not?” There seemed to be a tiny light of hope shining in his eyes.
“Because my divorce was just made final today.”
Blake scowled. “That explains things. You’re upset and I’m around, I get it.”
“No, that’s not what I—”
He walked over and threw open the door. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Chapter Five
Mandy was sure fire burst from the top of her head, even though a cold gush of wind whipped through the open door. She’d be in control of her own life now. For too many years, she’d done whatever she could to keep the peace with Ted, and she was through with that. Even if this man was going to kick her out, he was going to kick her out for the right reasons. “Close the door and listen to me.” Her words were short and clipped until she noticed the way his shoulders dropped and sadness permeated all around him. When he didn’t move, Mandy went to him. She took his hand from the knob and closed the door. “Blake, I’m sorry for upsetting you. That wasn’t my intention.” Mandy squeezed his fingers before she let go and let her arms fall to her sides.
“Just exactly what were your intentions?” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper.
She rubbed her forehead. “I’m not sure exactly.”
Blake drew back his shoulders. “Then I think you should go.”
“I will, but not before I try to explain.” She looked into his eyes. “When I came over here, I intended to say thank you, nothing more. But being around you, even for just a little while, made me think about how much I missed our friendship.” Mandy glanced at the floor and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Then you opened the door, looking all … all …” She flung her hand towards his body. “All fresh and clean.” Her face burned, and she bit her lip. “And then all I could think was that I wanted to kiss you.”
He exhaled and rested his hands on his hips. “You’re in a difficult place in your life. That’s the only reason you’d even consider kissing me.”
“That’s not true. My marriage has been over for a while and had nothing to do with me wanting to kiss you.” Mandy stood her ground. If she lied to Blake, she’d never forgive herself. She searched her soul for the truth. Had she turned to him because she needed comfort, something that she wouldn’t have done otherwise? “I’ll admit that when I got the papers today, I did think of you, but because I wished for a friend. Me wanting to lock lips with you is entirely another subject.” She drew in a breath. “One I’m not sure I want to delve into yet.”
Blake shifted his weight from one foot to another. “Fine. Let’s just do the friend thing.” His voice was as enthusiastic as a teenage boy forced to take his cousin to prom.
“Well, don’t sound too excited about it.” Mandy grinned and gave him a playful punch to the shoulder.
He rolled his eyes and gave her a slight smile. “I guess it won’t be that bad.”
She took his reluctant agreement as a good sign. A surge of hope radiated through her body. “
It will be awesome, and since I’m new to town and you’re now my friend, do you want to take me and Kade to the farmer’s market sometime? My parents said I should take him to see the largest-pumpkin contest, and I guess there’s a lot of other things to do.”
Seconds passed before Blake spoke, like he was trying to translate her invitation. “Um, yeah. I’ve never been there either, so it will be a first for all of us.”
“Good.” Her heart felt lighter than it had all day. “How about this weekend?” Crap. “Unless … you have a date or something?” Her stomach knotted at the idea. She wasn’t ready to get back into the dating scene. Since this wasn’t a date, it felt safe. Until she thought of him with another woman. The idea of being friends was alluring until the realities started to settle in.
“How about Saturday afternoon?” Blake gave her a slight smile.
Mandy cocked her head and studied his face. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I want to.”
“Good. Give me your number.” She took the phone from her back pocket, and he recited the digits. “Cool. This will be fun, and thanks again for all the help you’ve given me today.” Mandy smiled as she put the phone away. “I’ll see you this weekend.”
Blake smiled. “Yup, see you this weekend.”
Mandy sensed hesitation in his voice, but she ignored it. “Bye, friend.” She opened the door and walked out. She got in her car as the reality of what had just happened hit her like someone knocked some sense into her with a two-by-four. She turned the key and watched her breath rise in the air as she waited for the heater to warm up.
She closed her eyes and replayed the scene in her mind. Yes, she was sad, and maybe knowing her divorce was final changed the way she looked at Blake when he opened the door, but she hadn’t turned to him to fill a void. She wanted to know him again, wanted to be his friend, and her desire surprised her; she wanted to find herself kissing him sometime in the future. Mandy bit her lip and grinned as she pulled out onto the road, wondering just where her heart was headed.
* * *
Blake shut the door gently behind Mandy. He spun around, leaned his head back against the door, and wondered why he’d agreed to being “friends” with a girl who could potentially break down his walls—and worse than that, a girl who’d already broke his heart once before.
Friends? He laughed out loud and walked into the kitchen. There was no way he could hang out with Mandy and not want more; it just wasn’t physically possible. His muscles had memorized the feel of her in his arms, his eyes had been blinded by his love of her for more than a decade, and the pain of losing her ached bone deep. Blake had stuffed his feelings down deep when she’d broken his heart, but the surprising thing was that he hadn’t stuffed as much anger and distance down there as he thought. Because all the good things surfaced—the love, the laughter, the friendship. It was like the box opened, allowing the sweet stuff to come to the light.
He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. There had to be a way to quench his thirst for Mandy without tasting her. If he was smart, he’d cancel their plans and keep on getting through the days, but he was helpless knowing she’d asked to spend time with him. Blake drained the bottle and tossed it into the recycling bin, and was curious to know if this would work or if he’d be throwing his heart away all over again.
* * *
Mandy followed a quaint dirt road on the outskirts of Milwaukie just west of the lake. Tall pines clothed for winter with their evergreen needles stood like sentinels on both sides of the road for the first hundred yards, and then the area opened to reveal a beautiful bungalow cottage. The house was sage green with large rocky columns along the wide front porch. One dormer sat on the cedar roof, overlooking the place, and large windows placed around the lower level glistened in the autumn sun.
She stopped the car and the front door opened. Brianne walked out, waved, and smiled. Mandy grinned as she unbuckled her belt.
“Out, out, out,” Kade chanted from his car seat in the back.
“I’m coming.” She got out and opened the door.
“I guess you found us okay?” Brianne asked. “Sometimes GPS doesn’t work too well out here.”
“Your directions helped me more t
han anything.” Mandy got Kade out, and he clung to his mom’s leg. “I love your house.” The landscaping looked new, with fresh bark and small plants. A couple of the trees still had tags hanging from the branches.
“Thank you. We’ve been working on it ever since we bought it. The exterior was just finished a couple months ago, and the landscaping not long after that.” They walked towards the porch. “I’ve still got work to do upstairs, but the main floor is done.”
“Well, it looks great.”
“Thanks.” Brianne opened the tall craftsman wood door. A pumpkin spice aroma welcomed them into the beautiful space. Hardwood floors stained to warm brown flowed between the family room and the kitchen. A rustic fireplace with a dark wood mantel ran from floor to ceiling, where a large industrial fan hung. A cream-colored rug rested with two upholstered chairs and a traditional couch. The cozy arrangement beckoned for someone to curl up on a cushion with a hot cup of cocoa and a Kindle.
“You have really great taste.” Mandy gripped her son’s hand tighter. She imagined all the damage her little guy could do to a rug that color.
“I love it, so that’s what counts, right? You can put your jackets on the couch.” Brianne opened a closet door and pulled out a crate of toys. “Kade, would you like to play with these?”
Mandy barely had his arms free from his coat sleeve before he took off towards Brianne and her goodie basket.
“Tori’s little guy comes over, so I’ve collected a few things.” Brianne put the toys on the floor, then walked towards the kitchen. “If you’d like to come sit at the bar, we can visit, and you can still see Kade from over here.”
“Sure.” Mandy followed her and took a seat on a barstool. “Is Ava sleeping?”
“I just got her down a few minutes before you got here, so hopefully she’ll sleep until after we eat. Speaking of, Jeremy is picking up the food and will be here any minute.”
She opened the cupboard and pulled out two glasses. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“A glass of water would be great.” Mandy gazed around the kitchen with its butcher block countertops and simplistic Shaker-style cabinets, enjoying the homey feel of the space.
Brianne filled the glasses with ice and water from the dispenser on the fridge. “Sounds like Jeremy is home.” A car’s engine idled, followed by the sound of a garage door going up. Brianne left for a moment and returned with two large takeout boxes. Jeremy came in behind her, holding a brown bag.
Deep-fried yumminess filled Mandy’s head along with visions of sweet and sour chicken, and her stomach growled. “That smells delicious.”
“Best Chinese food around.” Jeremy set the sack on the counter. “The sauces are in here, along with your fortune cookies.”
“Thanks, babe.” Brianne kissed Jeremy on the cheek. She turned to Mandy. “I ordered their sampler dish; that way you get a little taste of everything.”
Mandy smiled. “That sounds great.” She looked up to see Jeremy staring at her and then back at his wife.
“I still can’t believe you two aren’t related. Maybe we should get a DNA test just to be sure.” Jeremy wrapped his arm around Brianne. “It’s a little crazy, isn’t it?”
Brianne glanced over at Mandy. “It is a little weird, but in a good way.”
“I have to admit, when I first saw you in the grocery store, the similarity caught me off guard.”
“Now I understand why meeting Brianne threw Blake in a tailspin—” Jeremy clamped his mouth shut.
Mandy’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” The room suddenly felt extra hot.
“Nothing.” Brianne scowled at Jeremy. She opened the sack and pulled out little foam containers. “When I came to work for Tori, Blake obviously noticed the resemblance, and that kind of messed with him.”
“Messed with him?”
Jeremy jumped in again. “Brianne brought back all his memories of you. He thought he was into Brianne for a while, until he realized that what he felt was still all about you.”
Mandy didn’t know what to say.
“I’m not sure what your situation is or if you’ve even talked with him, but be careful.” Concern filled Jeremy’s eyes. “He’s got a heart of gold, and as far as I know, no one’s held the key to it but you. But if you did talk to him, maybe he’d be able to help find closure and really move on, if that’s what you want.”
Emotions surfaced in her eyes. “I had no idea he still thought of me after all this time. I thought after the way I ended things with him, he’d want nothing to do with my memory.”
Jeremy shrugged his shoulders. “I think Blake’s the one you need to talk to. All I know is that he cares a lot about you.” His eyes brightened, and he chuckled. “Why else would he rip my head off for hiring you?”
Mandy laughed. “If I remember right, he can be a little hotheaded at times.” And apparently, he still was. She’d experienced his hotheadedness the other day when she dropped off cookies and he tried to kick her out.
“He’s definitely passionate about certain things.” Brianne handed Mandy a fork. “Just mess with his camera and see what happens,” she laughed.
“I always loved that about him.” Mandy sighed, recalling when they were younger, and the way Blake lost his cool when she’d beat him at a video game. “I guess that’s why I assumed he’d have a strong dislike for me after we broke up.”
Jeremy looked at her. “He’s got some pretty strong feelings for you, but I don’t think they’re all the negative kind.”
Her mind whirled with the past and the broken trust between her and Blake. If Blake still cared for her, was that enough of a foundation to try again? She knew the chemistry between them was still there, but she was old enough to know that desire didn’t always mean love and kisses weren’t contracts. Her hungry stomach churned up a stew of nerves. She thought she and Blake would start out as friends; it was safe and slow. But if he still felt that way about her, would they rush into something they both weren’t ready for? Mandy needed to know what this meant, and she’d find out—tomorrow at the farmer’s market.
Chapter Six
Mandy and Kade met Blake in the parking lot next to the park where the farmer’s market was located. Vendors with fresh vegetables, craft displays, and concessions were open for business. Fall activities like bobbing for apples, face painting, and a maze created out of straw bales induced kids’ laughter and smiles. The holidays were definitely in the air.
“Kade, this is Blake.” She held Kade in her arms, and he buried his face in her shoulder. “Say ‘hi.’”
Kade lifted his head. “Hi.”
“Hi, Kade.” Blake grinned at Kade and glanced at Mandy. “I guess we didn’t get to officially meet when you got the flat tire.”
Mandy set Kade down and pulled the stocking cap down over his ears. She had to distract him long enough for him to forget about the hat by pointing out a scarecrow.
“I’m glad the weather’s holding.” Blake slipped his hands into a pair of gloves. “There’s a chance for snow, but I don’t think that will happen until later tonight.”
“Hopefully it will hold off for a little while.” Mandy held Kade’s hand. “This looks like fun.
Where should we start?”
Mandy’s eyes were drawn to the giant pumpkins lined up for the contest, but her mind still replayed the conversation she’d had with Jeremy and Brianne yesterday. She eyed Blake out of the corner of her eye, looking for some sign that he had stronger feelings for her that he let on. There wasn’t a message written across his forehead, and when they made eye contact, she didn’t read anything in his gaze that could be considered love. But there had been that moment yesterday, charged with enough attraction that she couldn’t dismiss what Jeremy and Brianne had told her.
“What about the maze?” Blake pointed to the stacked bales forming an entrance.
Mandy nodded. “Yeah, I think that would be good. Kade can get his energy out.” She didn’t think finding her way through
the maze would do anything for the adrenaline pumping through her veins. The second she’d seen Blake hop out of his truck, looking like a short version of a male model for the LL & Bean fall catalog, she’d fought to keep from blurting out, “Just exactly how do you feel about me?”
“Mandy?”
She blinked and saw Blake’s midnight-rain eyes staring at her. “Are you alright? You seem like you drifted away somewhere.”
“I’m good.” Mandy had to be careful. Rushing into anything was wrong for so many reasons, and she didn’t know even know if Blake was interested, even with what Jeremy and Brianne had said. Maybe they misunderstood Blake’s intentions. He’d said he wanted to be friends, and that was good, sensible.
There was also their history to consider, which for some reason didn’t bother her like she thought it should. Back then, she’d been quick to judge and ended things with Blake. They’d had an argument and he was out with some friends and somehow kissed another woman and it devastated her. She hadn’t bothered to hear the circumstances or listen to his explanation because she’d worried about how she would look to everyone if she forgave him.
A couple years later, a mutual friend who’d been with Blake that night told Mandy that Blake didn’t go looking for anything with another woman. The girl had had too much to drink and made her way from one guy to another and her lips happened to land on Blake’s. The only reason she’d gotten close enough to Blake to kiss him was because he wasn’t himself after their fight, and he pushed her away a few seconds later. That had been hard to hear, since her marriage wasn’t the fairy tale she’d imagined. It embarrassed her to think about how shallow and immature she’d been, but she was hurt. In her mind, she was supposed to be with a man who’d never cheat on her, no matter what.
