by Erica Penrod
Mandy meant for her words to heal, but instead they cut him deeper. “That was the difference between you and me. I never doubted. I never wanted anyone else.”
Her face contorted, and sadness clouded her features. “Even though I understand how it happened, you kissed another woman, so you can see how I might not have believed you.”
“After we had a fight, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I knew that the second it happened.”
A tear slipped down her face. “I thought that was my answer. I couldn’t trust you.”
He leaned back and rested his head on the couch. “I get that, I do, but I never understood why you didn’t love me enough to work through it.” Moisture filled his eyes. “I would’ve done that for you.”
She sniffed. “You don’t know that.”
He sat up. “Yes, I do.”
“You can’t say that. I would’ve never kissed another man, and you have no idea how that feels.”
“No, I don’t know that feels.” His voice deepened. “But I can honestly say if the roles were reversed, I would’ve loved you more than a mistake.”
Her head slowly moved from side to side. “It was just a mistake to you, but it was so much more than that to me at the time. I didn’t want to be that girl, the one that everyone talked about who lets a guy cheat on her.”
Blake ran his fingers through his hair. “You cared more about what people thought than you did about me?”
Mandy shifted her body. “It was wrong, I was immature, and I know that. I’m trying to explain what I felt back then.”
“So, what’s changed?” Pain twisted like a knife in his gut. “I want a forever thing. Where two people stick around and get through the hard times.” A thought, like a bolt of lightning, struck his brain. Mandy’s marriage didn’t work, and he’d never really asked her why. He’d assumed Ted was to blame, but now he wondered if she’d given up too easily.
Her eyes narrowed, and she appeared to read his mind. “You’re thinking about me and Ted.”
“You never said what happened.”
Mandy’s gaze drifted over to the Christmas tree. “I’m not sure I want to talk about it.” She turned back to him.
“You’re the one that wanted to get everything out in the open.”
“And I thought that’s what you wanted too.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s not a good thing.”
“You weren’t wrong.” He pushed through the uncertainty. “We can’t go on unless we can get past this.”
“Is that what you want?” She scooted to the edge of the couch. “Because I’m not sure I can change your mind about who you think I am.”
Blake stood up. “And who do I think you are?”
“A quitter.” Her words weren’t much more than a whisper, and she put her head down.
His heart sank. “No, I don’t.” This wasn’t what he wanted. Blake reached out and took her hand. Her dark eyes looked up at him, and he pulled her to him. He held her close and felt her body shudder in his arms. “I’m sorry.” Blake hated himself for hurting her. “Look at me.”
Mandy lifted her head, and he cupped her chin. “I don’t want to mess this up.”
“Me neither.”
He smiled. “Then let’s not let it. If you can forgive me and know that even though what I did was stupid, I never stopped loving you.” Blake brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears.
“You never stopped loving me?” Her mouth curved into a smile.
“No.” He kissed her. “I never did, and I never will.”
“What about my divorce?”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” He’d just said he wanted forever, and if this was going to work, he’d have to be a man of his word. Whatever happened between Ted and Mandy didn’t change how he felt about her, nor would he allow it to. Blake meant what he said and was committed to loving her through anything.
Mandy touched his face. “I want to tell you everything, just not right now.” Her fingers traced his lips. “I don’t want what happened with Ted to ruin what we have. All that matters are you and me and who we are now.” She tilted her head and put her mouth on his. She tasted like a dream come true, and he tightened his hold on her, just to feel her reality. Mandy put her forehead to his. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Her dark eyes softened. “The forever kind.” She pressed her lips to his again and sealed the promise with a kiss.
Chapter Eleven
“Your reservation’s all set.” Mandy entered in the last of the information. “We’ll see you the first week of January.” She hung up, grinned, and spun around in the chair in her office.
“Me, me, me.” Kade looked up from his blocks. He reached for her.
“Okay.” She lifted him and sat him on her lap. Mandy glanced down at the framed photograph of her and Blake with Kade, all bundled up the day they’d gone to get the Christmas tree, and smiled. “This isn’t a good thing to teach you.” Mandy laughed when Kade squealed as the chair twirled around. “But I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”
It was two days before Christmas, and between the website and phone calls, she’d already booked several reservations for the first of the New Year. The Wind Song Inn, Jeremy and Brianne finally gave the place a name, passed final inspection three days ago, and she’d brought a few of her and Kade’s things over. Mandy didn’t plan to move everything until after Christmas, but her office was already decorated with some of her favorite antique office supplies, thanks to some collaboration between herself, Tori, and Brianne. Her phone rang on the desk and she stopped the chair. “It’s your daddy.”
“Daddy,” Kade repeated as he slid off her lap.
“Hello.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. This was the third time he’d called in a week.
“Hi.” The pleasantry in his voice still caught her off guard.
Kade handed her a block and then tried to stack another one on top. “Hey.”
“How’s things going with work?”
Mandy glanced up at the clock and wondered why Ted would be calling at ten a.m. on a weekday. “Is something wrong?”
He cleared his throat. “No. I just wanted to check with you about a few presents I got for Kade, in case we have duplicates and I need to exchange something.”
Kade snatched the blocks away and Mandy rubbed her temples. “We should be okay. Even if we do get some of the same things, that way you’ll have things for him to play with at your place.”
“Oh, all right.” His voice hinted at disappointment, baffling Mandy. “And I wanted to make sure you were still good with me taking Kade on Christmas Day—of course, after you’ve finished with your family in the morning.”
“That’s fine.” Mandy chewed the corner of her lip. They’d already discussed this the last time they spoke. “I’ll bring Kade to you that afternoon.” Ted would be at his parents’ house in Portland for Christmas Day and wanted Kade to stay overnight. She and Blake were going to his mom and dad’s place in Portland for dinner that same day, so it made sense for her to bring Kade to him.
“Good, or what if—” The connection went silent.
“Ted?”
“I’m here. I’ve just been thinking about Kade and how things would be much easier if we could just have Christmas together. Just so he’s not confused. I could come there.”
Mandy wanted Ted to call her back on FaceTime, just to make sure the person on the phone was her ex-husband and not an imposter. “Kade’s only two, so I don’t think he’ll be too upset. As long you and I both love him and are in his life, I think he’ll adjust just fine.” She gazed down at her little boy. “I’m glad you’ve been spending time with him. He needs you.”
“I realized I’ve missed out on a lot with him.”
Mandy relaxed back into the chair. She still struggled to hand Kade over to Ted. A lot of her insecurity came from how Ted had been with K
ade when they were married. She wasn’t sure he knew how to take care of him, what to feed him, or when to put him to bed. But she had to admit, Ted impressed her when he’d bought a car seat for his Mercedes. “I’m glad. He’s an amazing kid.”
“Yes, he is, and so is his mom.”
She wondered what Ted was up to. “I’ve got to go. I need to get back to work.”
“Yeah, sure. Me too. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
“See you then.” Mandy ended the call. She shook her head and went back to the screen. There were better things to do with her time than think about her ex-husband.
* * *
“Seriously.” Mandy put a piece of tape over the ends of the wrapping paper. “Kade’s not old enough for this.”
Blake bounced around the massive box. “Sure he is. It said for ages two and up.”
“He can’t drive a toy truck. He can’t even use the potty yet.”
“That’s why there’s a remote control for an adult to use until he’s old enough. Right here.” Blake pointed to another spot on the package. “We need more tape right here.”
She pulled another piece from the tape roll and sighed.
Blake leaned in and kissed her. “Don’t worry, babe. He’ll be driving like a pro in no time.”
“He’s two.”
“Yeah, but I’ll be teaching him.” There was a spark in his eyes, and she knew there was no point in arguing. Inside, her heart melted watching the way Blake loved her son. “Maybe next year we’ll get him a mini four-wheeler.”
Mandy laughed. “Slow down there, speed racer. One battery-operated vehicle at a time.”
They pushed the box to the corner, next to the tree in his apartment. Mandy’s parents kept Kade, so she could finish wrapping gifts at Blake’s. But he’d surprised her with some of his own gifts he’d picked out for Kade, including the monster truck.
“I talked to my parents, and they’ll be expecting us for dinner about five on Christmas day.” He pulled a toy tool belt from a sack.
Mandy sat down on the rug and picked up the scraps of wrapping paper. “That sounds great. We’ll have plenty of time to drop Kade off with Ted and be to your parents’ house without rushing. ” She pointed to the miniature tool set in his hands. “Now that’s a gift that I approve of. I’m going to need a handyman at the B&B.”
Blake grinned. “I thought I was your handyman.” He dropped down on the floor, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her to him.
She landed on his chest and giggled. “You’re a reality star. You don’t have time to worry about when I’ve got a clogged drain.” Her hair fell over her shoulder, and he brushed it back from her face.
“I will always have time for you.” He raised his head and kissed her. “And for Kade.”
She searched his eyes and saw the truthfulness of his words. He’d never know how much him caring about Kade meant to her. “I’ll try and make a little time for you,” Mandy teased.
“Oh, you will, will you?” He rolled over and pinned her to the floor. “How much time was that again?” He held her with one hand and tickled her with the other.
Mandy laughed and squirmed beneath his touch. “A lot.”
He tickled her again and she squealed. “How much was that again?” He leaned in and kissed her neck. Her body melted like marshmallow.
“I want to spend every minute with you,” she managed to get out before he covered her mouth with his, and all she wanted was s’more of him.
Chapter Twelve
It was Christmas Eve, and for twenty-four hours, the Whisper Creek Inn belonged to the Brown family. The day before, the last guests had checked out, and the next ones weren’t due to arrive until Christmas night. In the kitchen, Burl Ives sang “Silver and Gold” while they all gathered around the counter, constructing gingerbread houses. Blake took the job seriously.
“I think you’ve got an unfair advantage.” Mandy scowled as her roof caved in for the second time. “You know how to build things.”
“Don’t be a poor sport.” Blake grinned as he added another dormer to the two-story bungalow. “Look at Kade’s. His doesn’t have a roof either, but he’s not worried.”
“You’re comparing my house to Kade’s, whose, by the way, is nothing more than a snack.”
Her dad laughed. “Keep trying, but I think the real contest will be between me and Blake.” He added another pretzel to his log cabin.
“This isn’t a contest.” Her mom whipped up more frosting. “This is just for fun.”
“Don’t listen to her.” Her dad leaned towards Blake. “Where do you think Mandy got her inability to build gingerbread houses?”
“Gee, thanks, Dad.” Mandy flicked some frosting at him. “Aren’t you supposed to tell me mine looks great no matter what? I think that’s what parents are supposed to do—support their kid’s unique artistic talent.”
He checked out her roofless creation. “I appreciate your effort, and even though your walls aren’t even, they’re still standing, so that says something.”
Mandy saw Blake smirk. “Do you have something to add?” She narrowed her eyes and screwed up her face, but she couldn’t hold back her smile.
“Nope.” The corners of his mouth twitched.
“Good.” She tossed a piece of candy in her mouth. “I think Kade’s got the right idea anyway.”
“He’ll be up all night on a sugar high.” Her mom scooped the frosting from the mixer into the bowl. “And so will you.” She pointed the spatula at Mandy.
“You know the rules.” Her dad reached for a candy cane. “Santa doesn’t come if you’re not in bed.”
Mandy yawned. “I don’t think that will be a problem for me, and Kade can just stay up with you.”
“Ha, ha,” her mom laughed. “That’s the glorious thing about being a grandparent: we get to love them and then go to bed when we’re tired.”
“And that’s the perk of being a boyfriend.” Blake put his plastic knife down. “I get to hype him up and then go home.”
“That won’t last forever.” She looked at Blake. “Your turn’s coming—” She bit off the end of the word. Her cheeks burned as he grinned. “I mean … um …”
Her mom nodded. “We know what you mean.”
She put her face in her hands, and Blake laughed. “It’s never Christmas unless someone puts their foot in their mouth.” He put his hand on her back. “At least that’s how it is in my family.”
“Well, when your turn comes—” Her dad turned to Blake, but gave her a quick wink. “—you’re going to fit in with this family just fine.”
Mandy sighed. There was nothing like implying a proposal to your boyfriend on Christmas Eve. Her stomach knotted up and her face still felt holly-berry red. She wouldn’t be surprised if Blake hitched a ride with Santa tonight and headed for the North Pole. And she wouldn’t blame him.
* * *
Blake woke up early Christmas morning and peered out the window. The sun spotlighted the fresh blanket of snow on the ground; each snowflake glittered like a diamond. Diamonds. They’d been on his mind. His original plan to tell Mandy that he loved her on Christmas Eve was compromised by their heated discussion about the past, and he’d told her he loved her every day since. Now he had something else concocted.
He took a shower and cleaned up the place. Blake worried about his man card when he lit the pine-scented candle Mandy had given him before she even got there. Another thing he wouldn’t mention to Kael or Jeremy. He was already keeping the lotion a secret. It was men’s lotion, but still.
Presents for his parents, Mandy, and Kade were all wrapped and placed beneath the tree, besides the monster truck. Blake placed the toy train where Kade could play with it, and juice boxes were in the fridge. He turned on It’s a Wonderful Life and sat back on the sofa, thinking how his life really was wonderful.
The doorbell rang at a few minutes after eleven. Blake opened the door, and Kade lunged for him. Delighted, he picked up the boy. “What did you
get?”
Kade held out a Spider-Man figurine built for little hands. “Pider man.” Blake smiled and knew he shouldn’t, but he hoped Kade would take a while to say the letter S.
“Merry Christmas.” Mandy leaned in and gave him a kiss. “You should see what this kid got. Grandma and Grandpa spoiled him, Santa brought too much, and I don’t know where I’m going to put it all.”
Blake gestured for her to come in and closed the door behind them.
“Wow.” Mandy slipped out of her coat. “You seemed to have acquired more presents since I was here last.”
“Santa came, what can I say?” He put Kade down, who ran for the train. “And I liked having someone to spoil.” Blake wrapped his arm around Mandy, and she leaned into him.
“You don’t need presents to do that. Just being with you is all I’ll ever need.”
Blake grinned. “You say that now, but wait till you see what I got you.”
* * *
“I still can’t believe you bought me a pink tool box.” Mandy buckled her seat belt. “Weren’t you just complaining about not being my handyman?”
Blake started the engine. “I was, and that’s just for emergencies—you know, for when I’m out and about with my adoring fans and you’ve got to improvise till I get there.”
“You mean call my dad or watch MyHeartChannel university and fix it myself?”
“Or that too, I guess.” He pulled out onto the road, headed towards Portland. “Can you just humor me and let me think you need me around for something?”
“Of course I need you around.” She reached for his hand. “You’re my eye candy.”
“You’re so funny.”
Kade was fast asleep in the back seat by the time they got on the highway. Christmas music played through the speakers, and Mandy leaned her head back and enjoyed the tranquility.
“I’m excited to see your parents again.” Mandy gazed out the window as they reached the outskirts of Portland. “But I’m a little nervous too.”
