by Piper Malone
“So all that talk about brotherhood and our family in Boston, that’s fine and well when you need help or time. But none of us can have the same consideration?”
His connections are not out of line. Caleb and Reagan relied on all of us after Caleb’s injury. When a group of terrorists took over a news station, Caleb’s team was called in to eradicate the problem. When a bomb shattered Caleb’s leg, Reagan’s connections to researchers on the cutting edge of medical breakthroughs saved his leg from amputation. The road to recovery was long, daunting. Caleb struggled for months. Reagan took on most of the heavy lifting, but there were days when the stress was too much for her. We had more than one cry fest in my room. We had more than a couple cupcake parties as well.
“You know that’s not true either, Nick.” I can tell Caleb is trying to be patient, but he keeps looking out the window to check for Reagan.
“Did you know about her and Blake?” Nick asks with a steely voice.
“No one knew about that, man,” Ax offers, lifting his chin toward the open window. “Now keep this to a dull roar. Here she comes.”
“Did she know as well?” Nick presses without concern for Reagan.
“Yes, and that was my choice too,” I state. I can understand Nick’s frustration, but there is nothing anyone can do anymore. “This fight is with me. No one else.”
“This fight is with everyone who didn’t tell me that you had cancer or major surgeries or that you had to rely on people you rarely see while you were healing. You are not off the hook by a long shot, Sky. These two”—he points to Caleb and Reagan—“are also guilty.” He takes one step back and looks at Ax. “Did you know too?”
Ax holds up his hands. “Not a clue. The first time I saw her in a year was the same day you did.”
“And Blake?” He pins me with a venomous stare.
I shake my head. “No one else, Nick.”
He breathes in through his nose. A beastly breath expands his chest. “You.” He turns to Caleb. “Outside.”
“No!” I yell, stepping in front of Nick. “No way, Nick. You beat the piss out of Blake. That’s enough.”
“Is it, Skyler? Do you decide when it’s enough for everyone?” He grabs my upper arms, our noses almost touching as he hovers over me. “If you had told me in the beginning, you wouldn’t have had to ask everyone to lie for you.”
“Okay, that’s it. I’ve heard enough already.” Reagan takes a step forward, one hand on her hip, the other using Caleb’s shoulder as support. She’s pale, but her frustration is clear. “I’m tired and I’m sick and I’m done with this drama. Take your hands off of her right now.” Reagan pops a what are you waiting for? eyebrow when Nick doesn’t immediately respond. She waits for him to release me before she lays into us. “Nick, if you had told her how you felt in the first place, she wouldn’t have had to question whether she could have trusted you. Skyler, if you had trusted him, maybe he would have gotten his head out of his ass a year ago. Here is the only piece of information that is relevant now: you lied to each other. For years. Get over your bullshit and get your act together.” She inhales and shifts her focus from both of us to Nick. “Nick, you will drop this need-to-punch-it-out garbage. You will not threaten my husband or any of our friends. I will not stand for it. If you go after Caleb, you’re going after me, because I will step in. I’m pregnant, Nick. Don’t force me to make that choice.”
I’m not sure which of Reagan’s revelations are more unnerving. The fact that she called all of us out or that she’s pregnant. I knew it wouldn’t be long before they made an announcement. Caleb has always wanted a big family like his own. Reagan will be a great mother. I press down the fear that I might never be able to make the same announcement and focus on Nick, who is looking paler by the moment.
“Breathe, Nick.” I shove at his shoulder, and it seems to clear the fog clouding his mind. Nick mumbles his congratulations and excuses himself. He does his best to move, but his limbs are stiff and jerky. The door leading to the barn opens and closes moments later.
“You are letting all the cats out of their bags, Reagan,” Ax says before enveloping her in a hug. “Congrats, sweetheart.” Ax turns to Caleb, issuing a manly hug complete with backslapping. “And you too, sweetheart.”
Ax lightens the mood enough to ease the tension slightly. My real issue is hunkered down somewhere outside.
Caleb hugs me, holding me close for a moment. “He’ll be okay.”
I nod and issue my congratulations with a painful truth hollowing my stomach.
I hurt him.
I hurt the man I have loved for years.
Chapter 26
Nick
Splitting thick chunks of wood against a sharp blade is a comfort. It’s consistent and powerful. It’s my purpose. Cutting wood means fire, heat, and production toward a better life. People in my house means cooking and campfires and keeping the fireplace glowing. Family. This task—my duty—is plagued with a single accusation.
You lied to each other.
Reagan’s words echo in my mind. I know swinging the ax will beat them away, but my muscles are screaming, and my brain is throbbing in time with my heartbeat. Anger rushed, pulsing pain into every damaged fiber. I felt primed, ready to fight. Caleb knew everything and kept me in the dark. Brothers don’t do that to each other. I may never have said the words directly to him, but he knows.
You lied to each other. The words plunged my raging mind into the depths of a frozen river. Air escaped my lungs, and I couldn’t pull it back. My world shifted, and no one else felt the tremor. I needed to find air.
Being outside gives me the space to fill my lungs, but icy air slaps against my skin, cinching every pore. My spine refuses to straighten, and my legs feel like they forgot about their knees. Every inch of my body howls in protest of a single step.
This must be how a deer feels after it’s been hit but hasn’t died on impact. Limping along in pain, with the knowledge that the damage is bad. Hoping for a swift death while living through an unbearable agony.
Reagan called me out. She called us out.
We lied to each other. For years.
Reagan Langley-Dunn is a 4x4, extended cab, beast truck with plastic nuts dangling from the tailgate, and she ran over half of me and left me on the side of road.
I stumble to the platform bench. It might not have the mattress on it, but it might be the place I lie down and die. The bench is large enough for sleep, but I built a high back for lounging. I flop onto the hardwood, propping myself up to look out over my backyard. Three deep breaths push through the deep ache of my injuries as my mind filters through how this chaos started.
Skyler has always been a part of my world at Reign. I found the club, and she was the reason it was special. When I started working at Reign, we expanded our work relationship, and the world bled into a single focus: Skyler.
Reagan is right. It’s been years. As long as I have been aware of her, I have only been for her.
What’s the problem? I huff a laugh when I hear Dunn’s voice filter through the garbage. He’s in the middle of my problem. I live on a compound with five brothers who are waiting on me to contribute to the Harris empire and the family legacy in this town. We have a reputation, a purpose. Ben may be elected to his work in civil service, but the family echoes that charge. Not only have I skirted my duties to Rockland, but I have only minimally contributed to the family that raised me when our mother left and Dad retreated into the woods. I’ve been letting them down. All of them.
“Hey.” Sky’s calm voice pushes through the racing thoughts.
“Hey,” I reply. An attempt to shift is futile. A growl from the pain explodes from the hurt spots, and she’s on me.
She sucks a breath through her teeth. “I brought these out for you.” She drops the work gloves she wore to help me haul wood in this morning. “But it’s clear you aren’t doing any of that anytime soon.” Skyler fusses with my shirt, yanking it past exposed skin.
“It will be okay,” I mutter before shifting to a more comfortable position. “There is enough wood for at least a week. I’ll be okay in a few days.”
“If it needs to be done, I’ll do my best.” She presses her mouth into a thin line. “I’m more worried about you. Are you okay?”
I haven’t felt this out of control in years, not since I was a teenage boy lost in a world of men. Every inch of me feels snagged on something. “Yup.”
“Nick,” she whispers as she crawls onto the platform. “That’s a lie.”
I shake my head. She does know when I’m lying. And when to avoid me. And when she can push. Skyler knows because she sees everything. I try to remember the reasons for keeping her at a distance. I had all the answers. The reasons why I couldn’t have her beautiful body curled next to mine on a bench I built in a place I love were so clear. Now, it’s a scramble of hurt and frustration and the desire to keep her tucked under my arm until I can think clearly.
“I don’t know what to say, Sky.”
She nods as her fingers brush across the frame of the swing. “Can we try?”
“Try what?”
She inhales and looks over the backyard. “Can we try being together? No rules. No contracts. Can we just be Nick and Skyler?”
“Is it that easy?” In her mind, it may seem that easy. If we try this, everything is at risk. Skyler holds sacred places in my mind and soul. She is the reason for Reign and my life in Boston. Now, with her here, my brothers know her. She has lived in my home. Skyler has touched every part of my life. The places where Skyler is connected would be damaged if we didn’t work out. If this falls apart, my refuge, my home would feel vacant.
She lifts her shoulder. “I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.” Skyler extends her hand and brushes the buttons of my shirt. She leans in, resting her cheek on my chest. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Panic jolts my spine. “What?”
Skyler sits up, her hip pressed against mine. “Pretending that I don’t want you. I’m tired of the distance between us.”
Her words, meant to be comforting, sting. I’ve never wanted to hurt her willing affection with my roughness. I dismissed her repeatedly. Held her apart from me, convinced she could never be comfortable with my adoration like Reagan is with Caleb. Skyler has always been too precious a gem to risk. If I broke her, I could never forgive myself.
“All of me is not pretty. I’m not like them.”
“Who?” she asks.
I lift my chin toward the house and look back over the landscape. The small motion shifts the stiff muscles of my neck; a sharp pain radiates into my head and shoulders.
“Are you comfortable like this? Nick, if you need medication or—” I cut her off with a wave of my hand. Her mouth presses together. “Stubborn,” she mutters as she follows my gaze to the backyard.
“If I wanted them, I would have had them,” she issues with zero apology. “I want you, Nick. You. I put up with your grouchiness for those serene moments in time when I know you can’t hold back what you feel. I cherish the memories of us. You and me and your touch against my skin.” Her hands press against my chest, skating across the worn flannel. “I pray for the day when I can walk up to you and take your hand without any fear of you pulling away.” Skyler’s fingers dance across my throat and caress my jaw. Her touch trails up my cheek and tangles in my hair.
Skyler hovers over my body, deadened by trauma and pulsing with need. Her nose brushes mine. I feel the length of her thigh, then her hip. Her soft skin is cold under the hem of her shirt, but she’s here and real. Not a drunken apparition or a memory. Her lips hover less than an inch from mine.
“Tell me you want us,” she begs quietly.
“I do.” I can’t deceive her anymore. “Kiss me.”
“Promise me, Nick. No pulling away. No more labeling beautiful moments as mistakes. No more lies.” With every word, her grip tightens on my shirt.
“I need you to show me. Everything.”
“You need to do the same.” Skyler presses her plump lips against my cheek and kicks her leg over my body. The swing moves as she seats herself, then leans in to nuzzle against me.
Even as her body shields me, I have never felt so vulnerable.
“Let me be with you, Nick. Please,” she whispers against my neck.
Her words rail against everything I’ve tried to avoid. Hurt. Pain. Rejection.
Skyler’s body hovers over mine. Icy Maine air fills my lungs, pressing against the roiling push of my blood. My lonely, frozen existence is an icy hell, moments and memories of her etched into my mind. The pressure of her fingers filtering through my hair scatters wild thoughts of possession and driving forces of need down my limbs.
“Kiss me,” I demand.
“Promise me,” she counters. “Promise me you’ll try.”
I can’t ignore how much I feel for her. Living without her turned my world to a desolate black hole. If this falls apart, at least I can have fresh memories to feed from when she’s gone. For now, I can’t bear the possibility of being without her. “I’ll try.”
The words barely escape, and Skyler’s eager mouth captures mine.
Chapter 27
Skyler
Nick’s hands hold me close, even as the sound of a truck crunching snow and ice emanates from the front of the house. His grip squeezes against my hips, stilling our progress. If we had a few more minutes, and if frostbite in very personal places were not a concern, I would have taken him right there.
The back door opens, and Ax steps out. His eyes trace the backyard and tree line. Then he scans the barn. For Ax, recon never really stops. He is always watching and assessing. Though he’s never looked in our direction, he knows exactly where we are. “Tuck it back in. Blake and Kat are here.”
Nick vibrates for a second at the mention of their arrival. I reach for his hand, weaving my fingers with his. He blinks, pulling me close. His lips press against my temple before whispering across my skin. “You shouldn’t come outside without a coat.”
“I knew you’d keep me warm.” I keep my voice low in the cocoon of our embrace. I feel him chuff a breath, then relax a bit. I know he will need time to adjust. Freedom after years of imprisonment requires adjustment.
“Did you know they were coming?” he asks with a deep grunt as he moves off the bench. His grimace tells me how much he has disregarded his injuries. He needs something to take the edge off. No one deserves to feel like that.
“No, but you’re taking something as soon as we get inside. It’s not healthy for you to be in pain.”
“It’s not healthy to be a pinball thrown between trees.”
“Too soon, Nicholas.”
He snorts. “We need another helmet.”
“Better.”
We enter the living room just as Caleb opens the door to allow Blake and Kat entrance.
“Hey, bro!” Kat hollers as she wraps Ax up in a tight hug. “When did you get here?”
“A few hours ago,” Ax replies before gesturing to Nick and me.
Kat’s bubbly excitement loses all fizz the moment she sees us. She moves closer to Blake with a look that borders on territorial. “Skyler, how are you?”
“Getting better every day,” I reply.
She nods. An air of don’t fuck with me seems to bleed from her as she turns her attention to Nick. “And you?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Good,” she replies, seemingly happy that he got her message loud and clear.
Kat turns to Blake, and bright afternoon sun catches her diamond engagement ring, scattering prisms across the wall.
“Nothing like keeping it low-key, man,” Ax grunts, shielding his eyes from the reflection.
“Nothing but the best for my doll,” Blake replies more to Kat than Ax. “Here, man.” Blake tosses a paper bag toward Nick. “Steaks. Thick-cut bacon. Sausage.”
“Thanks,” Nick says before looking at me. This is the first time we’ve s
een Blake since Nick went medieval on him.
We all stand in awkward silence for a few moments. I think everyone is waiting for Nick.
I’m sure the silence is killing him.
It’s killing me.
“Yeah,” Nick shifts under the weight of the bag in his hands. “You guys can check out the upstairs. There are three bedrooms up there you can fight for.”
“Wait . . .” Kat holds up her hands and looks around the room. “Are we really going to just move on? Nick, you nearly killed Blake.”
“He didn’t, and he wasn’t nearly as bad as facing you,” Blake chimes in behind her.
“Maybe I should—” Nick stops my confession with a single hand on my arm.
“Yeah, Blake and I are moving on. He put an entire coal mine on your hand, so you guys seem to be okay. Sky and I are good. Reagan told me I can’t punch anyone.”
Reagan hums. “Actually, I said you can’t punch Caleb. I’m fine with you punching Blake. Don’t go after Ax—he’s too pretty, and he will leave your body where no one will find it.”
“True on all points,” Ax issues without an ounce of shame.
“No way,” Kat yells, her booted foot stomping the floor. “Universal no-punching rule. Agreed? Caleb doesn’t get a pass.”
“All in favor for universal no punching, say aye,” Reagan calls into the room.
The ayes have it, but she still asks, “All opposed?”
“Good,” she says when no one opposes. “Kat, are you ready to be an aunt?”
“You terrible sex fiend.” Kat jabs a finger at Caleb.
“A little,” he replies. An unapologetic smirk lights up his face.
“Are you really preggo?” Kat asks, scooting a little closer to her best friend.
Reagan nods as Kat squeals and wraps her up into a hug. “Dibs on stealing your baby for our wedding.”
“You got it, kitten.”
