by Piper Malone
Soft, low music plays as Reagan walks down the aisle with a small bouquet of playboy roses in her hand. I took them to the local florist, who had every imaginable wedding-bouquet monstrosity available. Kat was drawn to the rose’s warm orange color, then howled in laugher at its name. She picked the flowers for her wedding bouquet in fifteen minutes.
Caleb takes an appreciative glance at his wife. Reagan’s fingers brush her low belly, and they share a look, a silent discussion that leaves them both grinning like loons. Reagan’s smile softens when she catches my gaze, and she winks before looking past me. I glance over my shoulder, only to catch a glimmer of brightness in the dark church. The color is not unlike the gem-toned shine of illuminated stained glass, brilliant and bold.
Skyler stands between the last two pews, flowers in hand, and her hair draped in magenta. The bright-pink strands curve around her fair skin. The dress shows her lovely shape, highlighting her delicate curves. But her hair is perfect. She holds my gaze, drowning me in the deep-blue sea of her eyes. Her cheeks blush as she smothers a smile.
Tiny implosions obliterate the issues with Adam, the concerns about staying away from home, the words to explain what Skyler and I have been and what we might actually be. This woman is the reason I couldn’t stay in one place. Every ounce of beauty and intelligence and grit connects to every part of me. My chest tightens, gripped in the vice of not only knowing but accepting.
It’s her. It has always been her.
Caleb knocks into my shoulder, shaking me enough to pull my stare from the woman now standing across from me.
Her smile bleeds satisfaction, but she restrains herself and focuses on the back of the church. With her hand curled around the crux of Ax’s arm, Kat looks as pensive and excited as she did the day she asked Ax to present her to Blake at Reign. Instead of tight leather, she is poured into a sexy lace gown. Only Kat could wear both leather and lace with such ease and unbridled confidence.
Kat and Ax share a whispered conversation before Kat swipes a finger under her eye and appears to quiet her nerves with a deep breath. The small church does not allow them a long walk, but both of them move with grace and purpose. When they reach Blake, the guys issue a quick handshake, and Kat wraps Ax in a mighty hug. Blake apparently cares nothing for ceremony, as he gathers his bride in his arms and kisses her with deep sensuality.
“You look amazing,” he growls with predatory delight when they break.
Evan clears his throat. “If we are all ready and present, we can begin.”
Kat nods, wiping lipstick from Blake’s face. When they turn to face Evan, their fingers weave together, their bodies shifting a little bit closer.
Evan calls the ceremony to start with his usual flair. It’s easy to ignore my brother talking with such a beautiful sight across from me. She watches me, her cheeks flushing pink when she catches my greedy gaze raking across her body.
Skyler smiles, her cheeks reddening with a deeper blush. Her thick lashes flutter, her eyes scanning the back of the church before finding me again. She brushes the edge of her hair and mouths, “You like?”
My jaw almost hits the floor. How could she even question? I fight the urge to scoff, to pop every seam in that gown and revel of the beauty of her body.
“Beautiful,” I mouth back.
She nods and tilts her head to the front of the church, reminding both of us we need to pay attention.
I shift to face Kat and Blake and shove down the fact that I will have to listen to this again when they get married again for their families. However, I have never had the opportunity to listen to my brother officiate a wedding.
“In this moment, we celebrate the love of two people drawn together by a powerful connection. Kat and Blake have taken inventory of the moments that have led up to choosing to live a life together and the challenges they have overcome to solidify that decision. When we join our lives through marriage, we weave together family and friends, though I suspect with this crew, it’s one and the same.”
Evan passes a glance to me, and without thinking, I nod. He’s right. This mashed-up crew of meddling weirdos is a family. They are my family.
“That family becomes pivotal when we traverse the tough paths in life,” Evan continues. “When we are pushed to the brink of thinking we can’t move on, or when we question the decisions we make, our family members—the ones who truly understand us and love us—are by our side.”
Kat presses closer to Blake before casting a glance over her shoulder to Reagan, whose smile could only be identified as beaming. The bride’s gaze falls on Ax, his response a fatherly nod. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Caleb look at Skyler, the corner of his mouth curled. Sky responds with a soft smile and a tilt of her head. Caleb then passes a glance to me. My chest fills with a warmth that has only been reserved for holiday events or moments when the guys have escaped the crush of business planning and strategizing to just be together. I never gave the good feeling much consideration until now.
“When the journey of loving another person begins, the family grows. And we cherish those bonds as we forge new ones. A wedding is a ceremony that marks such an occasion, a celebration of families expanding and growing. You honor each other and your families with the partner you have chosen. Through your actions, you solidify your bond to each other and the commitment you make to journey through the challenges and obligations of life. Your family will hold you accountable to this moment, but your choices bond you to one another.
“The bond you symbolize with the wearing of rings is one that has always existed. The moment you chose each other, your commitment was forged. In the creation of rings, metal is selected and honed to create its purpose. What began as a mass of atoms shifted under the pressure of heat and craftsmanship to create a symbol of your relationship. What we fail to remember is that our partner is the creative collaborator in the shaping of our lives. They survive the pressures and challenges of life with us, which serves to strengthen our bond. Often, the difficult moments are the events that compound this beyond measure.”
I see her head turn, the brilliant pink of her hair catching the corner of my eye. She leans forward and pushes her chin toward Ax and the pew. He moves and hands her a tissue from the box on the pew. Across the aisle, I watch her look up, the overhead lights reflecting in her tear-filled eyes.
Her head dips, her lips trembling as she dabs away her tears. She glances at me, and her shoulders shake, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. Sky watches Evan, now prompting Kat and Blake through their vows, before fat tears roll down her cheeks.
Her lips part and close. Her delicate fingers swipe tears from her eyes. Skyler passes one more glance at the ceremony before looking at me and mouthing the words, “I’m sorry.”
My head pings with alarm. I don’t understand. She’s sorry? For what?
“I’m so sorry,” she mouths again as tears crest her cheeks. Her distress is overwhelming. To her credit, Skyler has maintained her poise despite her tears.
The urge to step across the aisle or just pull her out of the church is gargantuan. She must see the alarm in my face, because her hand lifts to stay me. Skyler inhales, looking at Kat and Blake exchanging rings.
“For everything,” she mouths. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” I mouth back, desperate for the moment I can hold her close and ease whatever pain she is feeling. “Wait.”
Her face crumples as she shakes her head. Then Skyler blinks, a wave of calm seeming to fall over her as she inhales.
My angel stares at me with eyes so deep the summer sea is their only rival.
Her lips part, and the silent words fall between us.
“I love you.”
Chapter 37
Skyler
I do not understand how penguins survive the cold without thermal underwear and hats. Their beaks must be freezing. Without a base layer and two pairs of wooly socks, I would be frozen to the core. We tried to time our arrival at the park dedication well, but we’v
e been waiting around for almost an hour.
Ben and other town officials are buzzing around, greeting people, ushering people to their seats. This small community has been flooded with visitors. At least three hundred people and a few local small press news outlets have filtered into Rockland for the event. Word of mouth has spread about the Harris brothers’ project, and positive press is always a good thing. I’m not sure if Nick knows the mass of people who have come to see the park. He left the house early this morning to meet with the developers and review the finalized programming for today. I have not seen or heard from him since he drove off into the darkness early this morning.
He would have been out of the house earlier, but he was slow getting out of bed. I was reluctant to offer any assistance. Kat and Blake’s ceremony shook the foundation I thought I had in place. Walking into the church, I felt confident. When I saw the hunger in Nick’s eyes when he saw me, I felt cloaked in invincibility. Then I felt the words Evan poured over Kat and Blake lap against everything I knew to be true.
I survived a life-altering diagnosis with the help of my chosen family. I abandoned the only man I have ever craved, longed for, cried over because of my fears. In the tiny church, filled with our friends, in the comforting glow of candlelight, I realized I never said the words. I could have left this world and never confessed. The thought made my heart splinter. The tears broke free, and he had to know.
He didn’t say it back. I didn’t expect him to. Not because he didn’t feel it, but because I know he can’t always say the words. I felt his I love you too. He waited until Evan said, “You may kiss . . .” and we celebrated Kat and Blake as a married couple. Nick restrained himself enough to allow Kat and Blake to take their first steps as husband and wife as they walked back down the aisle. He held back when Caleb and Reagan passed by, holding hands as they walked to the back of the church. When Nick stepped across the aisle to me, he pulled me close and pressed his mouth to mine. I heard the gasp of our friends, none of whom have ever witnessed anything other than functional intimacies between us. Always kink. Never affection. Never a kiss.
We sat through dinner and toasts and waved Kat and Blake off to spend their first evening as a married couple in a cabin just outside of town. Nick set it up for them. I think he didn’t want them having newlywed sex on every inch of his home. That, in my opinion, is our job.
I’m not sure how it happened, but we were alone for the remainder of the night. The last I saw Ax, he was with Evan. Reagan and Caleb slipped into their car and disappeared. Nick and I entered his house and melted into one another.
Hours of tangled limbs, his lips pressed against me, our bodies fused as one. I felt his love with every affectionate caress, each playful graze of his teeth against my skin, the deep rumble of satisfaction as he pushed into my body over and over. I gave Nicholas William Harris everything. My heart, my mind, my body, and my scars without fear. His confession was unspoken, but I felt the untamed emotion.
“I can’t believe the newlyweds are here,” Ax says, snapping me from the memory of Nick’s hips pressing against mine, my fingernails dragging across the curve of his perfectly sculpted ass.
“We said we’d be here,” Kat replies, looking bright and vibrant next to Blake. I think they serve as each other’s energy source. They screw and become dayglow. When they are apart, there isn’t enough coffee in the world for either of them.
“Reagan and Caleb are wandering around here,” I say. “Do you want to grab something to eat before we sit? Nick made sure we have seating in the front row, so we don’t have to worry about finding a place.”
“I’m starving,” Blake says, looking over the crowd. “Let’s go.” He grabs Kat’s hand, leading her through the crowd.
The park’s tiny parking lot and a stretch of the road leading into it is lined with food and craft vendors. The midday sun makes rows of handmade jewelry sparkle against the snow-covered grassy areas. Kids lob snowballs at each other. People greet each other with wide-open arms that collapse into bear hugs and laughter. Teens are huddled around a mobile heat torch as they share fries. The high school band warms up; the sound of scales swelling fills the air. All of this positive energy, this pleasant anticipation, is for a park that Nick helped restore. Everyone attending this event has a chance to see Nick’s beautiful craftsmanship.
The smell of home cooking, dishes unconcerned with carbs or good and bad cholesterol, curls around me. Under the hypnotic pull of culinary delights, I somehow end up with a lobster po’boy and blueberry pie. Truthfully, choosing between them would be a sin.
I settle down at a plastic patio table and dive into my sandwich. When I’m two bites in, Ax finds me, laying down four containers of food.
“I could never walk away from lobster mac and cheese,” he confesses. “This place is going to ruin me.”
“It’s comfort food,” I reply, helping him organize his haul. “Did you smell the roasted cashews?”
“Yes, and they turned me into a heathen. Here, take what is left of the bag. Please, Sky, save me from myself.” Ax stills for a moment before a ripple of irritation flows across his wide shoulders. “Fuck all . . .” he mutters. “Hold on a minute.”
I nod, pulling a chair out for him to sit. He holds up his hand and extracts a phone I’ve never seen him carry from his back pocket. “Paxton,” he says into the phone. He looks at me for a moment, listening to the person on the other end before turning his back and melting into the crowd.
I always forget that Ax stems from his last name. To me, Ax is a man who should be named Ax.
“Where’d he go?” Kat asks, gesturing to Ax’s food.
“He got a call. He answered it with his last name.”
“Work,” Kat confirms.
“Do you know what he does?” I ask.
“Besides drive me nuts with his vague sage wisdom? Nope.” She watches him with pursed lips.
“Do you know his first name?”
“Yup,” she replies. I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t.
“Is it top secret?”
Kat glances at Ax, pacing the perimeter of the crowd. “Sky, you know I like you a lot, but he’s special to me. I know, but he didn’t tell me. The cute little baker who worked at the diner where we used to meet told me his name. She was super sweet on him, and he fucked the frosting off her cinnamon buns.” When my jaw drops at her admission, a mischievous smile beams from her face. “He will tell you when, and if, the time is right.”
Kat turns her attention to Ax as he approaches. “What’s up, bro?” she asks.
Ax looks at the phone, his head rocking back and forth. “A case. It’s strange.” He puts the phone away but looks as if he is still working through the issues. “I’ll figure it out,” he says. “Let’s eat.”
We tear into the boxes of culinary delights, sharing bits of yumminess between us. Despite his appetite, Ax looks distant, as if he’s trying to remember something very important. We finish as an announcement is made that the ceremony is going to start soon.
Reagan waves us over to a row of chairs designated for us. We file in among the chattering attendees. The program flyer, printed on heavy cardstock, reviews the schedule for the event and a history of Center Park and of the Harris family. Old photos of the Harris brothers and their father, grandfather, and great-grandparents are scattered throughout the written history.
“Wow,” Caleb says, intently reading the program. “Sky, did you know any of this stuff?”
“No,” I reply, feeling my heart sink. “All I knew was that this event, and the project, was a really big deal for them.”
I scan the stage and find Nick in a tight circle with Evan, Jude, and Wyatt. A few feet away, Adam and Ben are looking over the podium and scanning paperwork in their hands. For as jerky as Adam has been, I feel the slightest bit of understanding. I would be a raging asshole too, if an endeavor this massive was up to only one member of the family and that person was not where they needed to be.
Adam and Ben look up and survey the crowd. Both of them seem tense but offer a smile and wave to people calling their names. I watch Adam scan the row we are sitting in, his eyes squinting when he catches sight of me. His gaze moves to my cheeks, looking at the lock of pink hair peeking out from under my hat. Adam’s gaze moves to Ax at my right, then Caleb at my left, his expression changing from tense to irritated.
I love your brother, jerk. I’m going to kill your crabbiness with the only weapon I have: kindness. When his eyes meet mine, I smile and wave. Adam’s jaw is set, but he lifts his chin in acknowledgment.
“Don’t tango with him, Sky,” Ax grumbles beside me.
“I don’t know what else to do,” I reply. “He is so demanding. I get the pressure of this project, but he’s been really mean to Nick.”
“I get the sense he’s that way with everyone,” Ax says, his arms crossing over his chest as he watches Adam.
“Well, that’s crap.”
Ax shrugs. “That’s how some people are until they figure their shit out.”
An elderly, official-looking man steps onto the stage, chatting with Ben. The three nod, and then Adam and Ben move to their seats. A few moments later, from behind the stage, Jude, Evan, and Wyatt climb the steps to their assigned places, Nick following behind. The crowd erupts at the sight of the Harris brothers. Nick sees us, waving and smiling. A genuine smile. Without any doubt in my mind, I know Nick is happy.
The dedication ceremony opens with a young girl belting out the national anthem and the pastor of a local church offering blessings for the event, the brothers, the attendees, and the community. When there is a moment of silence for Nick’s father and grandfather, the crowd is eerily silent. The Harris brothers connect, Adam wrapping a rough arm around Ben, Ben doing the same to Evan, until all of them are linked. They all shake their heads when the pastor acknowledges that both men left too soon and both would have loved to see this day.
