by Sarah Fine
I took his face in my hands and kissed him. It was still hard to believe how lucky I’d gotten. I drove past the crushed wreckage of his little car, the shattered glass and twisted metal, shuddering at what could have been, and got back on the highway, headed north to Central Falls.
Hailey’s boyfriend, Luis, lived on the first floor of a decrepit multi-family home in the tangle of poverty that was that part of town. I was pretty sure he was both a user and a dealer. I’d picked Hailey up from his place before–she’d run there after her mom had no-showed a scheduled visit, but of course he hadn’t comforted her. Instead, they’d had a fight. That had happened in the spring, when I found her crying on the curb, mascara and tears streaming down her round cheeks, black hair tangled and dress torn. God. Few things made me angrier. But she was determined to protect him, lied her ass off about him, and claimed she hadn’t seen him in months.
I parked at the side of the road and got out. It was still pouring, but I was past caring what I looked like. Malachi was already standing on the sidewalk, waiting for instructions. “In places like this, you never know who’s in there or what they’re carrying,” I said.
He rolled his head on his neck and gave me a wicked smile. “Yes, Captain.”
We marched up to the door, where I knocked. No one answered, though I could hear the television going inside. “Luis? You in there? It’s Lela Santos. I’m looking for Hailey.”
“Fuck off, bitch,” came a lazy voice inside.
Malachi made a disgusted sound in his throat.
I knocked again. “I need to get her, dude. You’ve got a sixteen-year-old girl in there, and she’s—”
“Get the fuck off my property, or I’ll fuck you up!”
Malachi rolled his eyes. “May I?”
I stepped aside and gestured for him to go ahead. He raised his foot and slammed his boot against the door with boneshaking ferocity, breaking the lock. The door flew open, and Malachi and I stepped inside. Luis was jumping up from his couch, a half-empty forty in his hand, black hair buzzed, tats thick and colorful up his wiry arms. Two other sleepy-looking guys were near the table in the tiny kitchen, takeout cartons scattered, standing with their hands poised near their waists. The place reeked of sweat and booze.
And there, on another threadbare, dirty couch along the wall, was Hailey. She was lying on her stomach, her long black hair falling thick over her face. A bottle of cheap gin was on the floor next to her dangling fingers. With a sigh of exasperation, I headed straight for her, giving Luis a wide berth as he gaped at my audacity.
I slid my arm underneath her slender shoulders and hoisted her up. “Hailey, it’s Lela. I need to take you home now.” She groaned and slapped at me, and I added, “I know it’s been a shitty day.” I brushed her hair away from her clammy skin. Her breath reeked of alcohol.
Luis gestured for his other homies to join him in an intimidation party. “The girl was upset,” he said, his chin jutting. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Instead of getting her drunk off her ass? Oh, let me see… tell her she needs to go home?” I snarled. “Tell her to call her foster mom and ask for a ride? Fucking be a gentleman and drive her home yourself, assuming you’re not too drunk off your ass to do it?”
One of the guys near the table stalked over, his chest leading the way. “Obviously she doesn’t want to be with you, so what the fuck do you care?” Then he made the mistake of trying to shove Malachi, who’d been standing very quietly a few feet behind me.
Malachi caught the guy’s tattooed wrist and twisted his arm. The guy was on his knees a moment later, with my boyfriend leaning over him and speaking very calmly in his ear. “She cares very much about the girl, and the sooner we get her, the sooner we will leave you to your dinner.”
He raised his head and stared at Luis’s other sidekick, who was still standing at the table, looking like he really wanted to get back to eating. He shook his head.
Malachi released his victim and stepped back. I could tell he was still keenly aware of the dude who was stumbling to his feet and staggering back, rubbing his arm, but Malachi’s eyes were on me.
“I’ll carry her,” he said. He walked forward and scooped Hailey into his arms. Her head lolled on his shoulder. He winced as he smelled her breath.
“Take her to the car,” I said, staring at Luis.
Malachi made his way to the door. Luis folded his arms over his chest. “That little bitch isn’t worth this kind of trouble,” Luis snapped. “Tell her to stay the fuck away from me.”
“With pleasure,” I replied. “Sorry about your door.”
“Fuck you,” he said, eyeing Malachi warily. “You’d better watch your back.”
“Always do,” I said, following Malachi out.
Malachi slid Hailey into the backseat and stayed back there with her semiconscious self as I drove back toward Warwick, braving late evening Providence traffic made worse by the steady rain. “How is she back there?” I asked as we exited the highway and headed for Aunt Ro’s place, which was only a few minutes from Malachi’s house. Hailey hadn’t said anything except “fuck you” and “leave me alone” since we’d left Luis’s.
“She’s—”
The unmistakable sound of retching cut off his words, and then he groaned. “Sick,” he said, sounding like he was about to barf, too. The horrible smell rolled up from the backseat and I immediately rolled down the window, feeling rain on my face. I glanced in the rearview to see Hailey leaning against Malachi, his chest covered with her puke. He was wearing a longsuffering expression, his nostrils flared with disgust, but he was gently holding her hair from her face and rubbing her back as she gagged and grimaced.
The entire freaking universe was lined up against us tonight. I almost said it aloud, but I was too afraid he’d agree. His face was strained as he supported my foster sister’s head and wiped at her mouth with his sleeve.
We offloaded my still-nauseated foster sister to Aunt Ro, who was as tough as Diane and just as nurturing. She’d seen her share of troubled kids and didn’t bat an eyelash as Malachi carried Hailey into Ro’s bathroom with Ro right behind him, clucking her tongue and carrying a stack of towels. “Mm. Poor child,” she muttered as she watched Hailey retch into the toilet.
I edged into the bathroom and knelt by Hailey’s side. “I know you’re mad, but we all care about you, and we’re not going to let go of you.” I offered her a glass of water. “You’re important to us.”
She glared at me with her bloodshot brown eyes, and then she accepted the cup and took a sip. “Thanks,” she said in a hoarse, quiet voice, and somehow I knew she was talking about more than the water.
“Anytime.” I stroked her hair and got up.
I apologized my way out the door, dragging Malachi by the hand. I honestly just wanted to get him home and cleaned off. “I’m so sorry, Malachi.”
“It’s all right,” he said. “This day, though.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll have to figure out how to replace my car. And I am rather eager to get home and get cleaned up.”
Of course he was. My heart sank a little, though.
We were pulling into his driveway five minutes later. Our backs were a little hunched under the chill rain as we trudged to his front door. I followed him in and set my bag on the couch.
“Will you wait?” he asked quietly as he headed for his bathroom.
“I absolutely will.” I stared at the bathroom door as he closed it, sadness and resignation filling me up. He was probably exhausted and aching. And extremely grossed out. “You waited over a year,” I whispered to myself. “It’s not like another night will make any difference.”
As the shower switched on, I meandered through the living room, to the eating area. I blinked as I looked at the table. It was usually bare, white-painted wood, but Malachi had placed a navy blue tablecloth over it, and he’d set out two plates and silverware. He’d put a candle in the middle of the table. My throat got tight. And then I went into the kitc
hen and opened the refrigerator, and found a lasagna, obviously homemade, covered in foil and waiting to be popped into the oven. My eyes started to burn. He’d been planning a romantic dinner.
I turned on the oven and put the lasagna inside, figuring it would take an hour or so to cook. Then I stripped off my jacket and sank onto one of the chairs at the table, running my hands over the tablecloth and wondering why nothing had gone our way today.
That’s life, the Judge whispered in my memories. It can be hell, baby.
“But sometimes it’s the opposite,” I murmured. And I’d had so much of the opposite since I’d been freed from my service as a Guard. I’d had so much that it filled me up. Sometimes I wasn’t sure I could contain all of it. Not just because of Malachi, though he’d been a huge part of it. Also Diane, who was my family now. And school—I was in my sophomore year at URI, and I knew already that I wanted to be a social worker. I wanted to help kids like Hailey who’d been through hell and needed another chance, and another and another. They weren’t disposable, and they shouldn’t be abandoned. They were worth something. And I wanted to make sure they knew that, and felt it, and didn’t give up.
So much good in my life. So much heaven right here. I appreciated every minute of it, especially right now, when I was reminded of how bad it could get.
The water switched off, the old pipes of the house whistling and groaning. A moment later, the door opened, and Malachi stepped into the hall, a towel around his waist, water still beaded on his shoulders. He met my eyes. “I wanted tonight to be special,” he said, gesturing at the table.
I got up and walked over to him. “Me, too.” I touched his waist, his warm, shower-damp skin, relishing the firm smoothness of his muscles under my palm. Slowly, I leaned in to him, pressing my face to his chest. He was here, and I was here, and the odds against us tonight were no worse than the odds that had been against us so many times in the past. “And I think it is special. It just reminded me how grateful I am to have you as my partner. When things go wrong, I know you’ll have my back.”
“And I know you’ll have mine.” He bowed his head, his lips skimming over my brow. “And… I’m not tired,” he said. “In case you were wondering.” He slid his arm around my waist to anchor me against him.
“Good,” I whispered, rising to my tiptoes. “Because I don’t think I can wait another minute.”
“Are you sure?”
My nose nudged against his. “It’s going to be about an hour until our romantic dinner is ready…”
His eyebrow arched. “Yes?”
“And I know I’m all bedraggled from the rain, and that today has been crazypants, but I want you.” I nipped at his bottom lip. “Not just because I could have lost you today. Because I’m ready.” I looked into his black-brown eyes. “Are you?”
“I’m ready.” He swallowed hard, his fingers spreading across my back. I could feel the heat of his touch against my spine, against my belly and chest. My hands settled on his rock-hard shoulders. I was incredibly aware of him… especially the fact that the only thing he was wearing on his magnificent body was a towel.
“Um. So… I guess we might need condoms,” I said, so glad I had refused to leave anything to chance.
His mouth twisted for a minute, and without letting me go, he snaked his other arm into the cramped bathroom and pulled something from the medicine cabinet. His hand emerged holding a small box of exactly what we needed. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said, looking a little worried. “I know we were going to go together, but I didn’t want to leave anything to chance.”
I started to laugh. Then I let him go and walked over to my bag, reached inside, and pulled out my own little box. “I guess we’re well-stocked.”
His lips twitched as he fought a smile. “Well, you know what we must do, then.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Yes?”
“I believe some brand comparison is in order.”
I cracked up, walking forward to dive into his arms again. He claimed my mouth with a possessive kiss. “Which should we try first?” I mumbled against his mouth as he steered me into his bedroom.
“I vote for whichever’s within reach.” He waved the box clutched in his hand. We were a clumsy, four-legged creature as we slowly moved toward the bed, our halting steps awkward but frantic. I didn’t want him to stop kissing me, but when he lifted my shirt, I allowed it. Only long enough to allow him to strip it off, though. A profound happiness coursed through my veins—we made it, we’re here, we won. Together.
Because this wasn’t impulsive. It wasn’t last minute. I trusted him, and he trusted me. We’d made our way here slowly, with wrong turns and missteps, countless long talks and a few long cries, many fits of giggles, and so, so many questions. Does this feel good? What is this like for you? Do you like it when I…? Malachi wasn’t the only one asking, either. We were both learning as we went, but I couldn’t think of a better partner.
I loved him so much. So freaking much.
I didn’t mind fighting through a day like today if he was by my side.
Especially if this was my reward. My fingers closed over the edge of the towel, and I tugged it from his body as we lowered ourselves onto his bed. Together, we undressed me with fumbling fingers trembling with eagerness. We kissed as fiercely as we fought. Our hands followed already-forged paths, ready to blaze new ones. I wanted to explore everything with him.
He propped himself on an elbow above me. “There were times I wasn’t sure we were going to get here.”
I laid my palm on his chest. “Ever?”
He shrugged, causing the scar on his shoulder to wink silver in the low light from the hallway. “It’s a kind of miracle, if you think about it.” He lowered his head and began to nibble my neck. “But I have enjoyed the process.”
I moaned, arching up to feel him against me. “Thank you. For being with me.”
He stroked my tangled, still-damp hair back from my face. “We’ve been together for a while now, Lela. You know I feel nothing but honored to be at your side.” He grinned, mischievous and sexy. “Or wherever you prefer.”
I ran my palms over his muscular back and slid my leg around his, bringing him closer. The sensation of our bare skin colliding made me shiver with want. “I don’t know what I prefer yet. We’ll have to figure it out together.”
He raised his head and sent his gaze meandering down my body, lingering appreciatively in a few places. Then he brushed his lips over mine as his hand followed the same path, sending tingles of excitement coursing along my limbs. “Yes, ma’am.”
Table of Contents
Copyright
Title Page
Dedication
A Note from Sarah:
Translated from Malachi’s Journal: In the Dark City
She is the Mission: A Scene from Sanctum, from Malachi’s Perspective
The Dark Tower: A Scene from Sanctum, from Malachi’s Perspective
An End and a Beginning: A Scene from Sanctum, from Ana’s Perspective
Libertine: A Guard’s Tale from Jim’s Perspective Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Translated from Malachi’s Journal: In the Land of the Living
Destroying a Nest is Simpler
Until Neither of Us Can Wait Another Minute
