Or was it something else?
Lawrence mulled it over and then realized something.
Col continued speaking. “I mean, this journey is the continuation of Holo’s legend, isn’t it? So the problems you face have to be worthy of such a tale! I’m truly grateful to be able to be part of the story,” he said, revealing an innocent smile.
Tales of adventure were passed down from traveler to traveler along the road, in every inn and town. But it had been more than ten years since Lawrence had last longed to one day be involved in such a tale himself.
Even Col, who was so clever and logical he could leave any merchant in his wake felt the same way.
Surely there was not another boy so guilelessly charming as this one.
“It’s true; she does say she’ll speak of this journey grandly in legends to come. But that’s all the more reason I need to behave properly for you.”
Lawrence meant it as a joke, and Col’s eyes went wide as he smiled. “I don’t want to be thought of as a burden when our tale is told!”
It was a reply to a joke that could never have been made in front of Holo.
Lawrence shook his head lightly, sighing and looking up. “Well, in any case, there’s one thing we must be very careful of indeed. We must cooperate to make absolutely certain we never anger her.”
Col was clever enough not to take his words for their surface meaning. He seemed happy, which meant he must have understood what Lawrence was trying to say.
“Sometimes I act shamefully, as I did earlier. I need someone’s help to stop me from doing it.”
“I understand!” replied Col. “I’ll do whatever I can.”
Lawrence was up against opponents who were well used to fighting battles on multiple fronts. He needed every ally he could get.
What was it that Holo had said to him? Her admonishment that he should get used to using people could have meant that he would have to start trusting them. In this battle of many versus many, such advice would surely be all the more important.
Lawrence shook hands with Col, his mood much improved. When it came to reaffirming his faith in his negotiation skills, that handshake was hundreds of times more effective than the pathetic banter with the tailor’s shop boy.
Holo was probably snickering back on the bed even then.
“Well, shall we return?” asked Lawrence, turning back toward the inn.
“Yes!” Col followed diagonally behind Lawrence.
The cloudy, unpleasant weather suddenly did not seem so very bad.
Chapter Five
Returning to the inn with Col, they found Holo fast asleep, curled up in her blanket and snoring away quietly.
Lawrence exchanged a wordless smile with Col, and in that moment, Holo’s snoring abruptly stopped.
Either she was simply that sensitive to any sort of discussion about her, or the delicate hairs in her ears picked up the faint movements in the air upon their entry.
Holo opened her eyes slowly, then buried her head beneath the blankets, her whole body quivering as she yawned.
“So, truly – what shall we do?” she asked.
Holo could tell that Col had gone out with Lawrence, and she called him straight over, sniffing him audibly.
No doubt she had an ulterior motive – that of demanding a share of any food they might have bought.
Col looked faintly abashed, shrinking at the attention.
“A traveling merchant cannot hope to survive without a guild. So at the very least, I cannot oppose them.”
“‘A big tree makes fine shelter,’ eh? I suppose it gives a bit of freedom to the small-fry beneath it – ’tis probably the right choice.”
Holo’s tone was much like Eve’s when she had tried to convince Lawrence to betray his guild, and it was all he could do to grin ruefully and hear her out.
Holo was pointing out that since he was hardly an important figure in the town, he had the luxury of being able to move fairly freely despite the ongoing incident.
Calling him “small-fry” seemed harsh, but Lawrence had to admit it was accurate.
“Still, the greatest short-term profit would be had by taking the narwhal to Eve.”
“And then make our escape, hand in hand? That might be rather amusing.”
Without Holo, would such a dangerous, adventurous option have been available? Lawrence thought about it for a moment and concluded that if not for Holo, he would have long since removed himself from this dangerous situation entirely.
He slumped at the absurdity of it all, which made Holo grin maliciously, her tail wagging easily.
If you’re so afraid of that possibility, just say so – but she did not say it, and neither did Lawrence.
It would have been a shame to pull the curtain up on their little drama so soon. They had to be considerate of their audience – Col.
“So, then. Given that both Eve and the guild know where we’re staying, there’s no telling when we’ll get drawn up into danger. I’d like to make sure I have a full grasp of the situation so I don’t react badly when that happens,” said Lawrence. Holo gazed at him wordlessly for a while before smiling faintly.
“What is it?” he asked, but she only shook her head without answering.
Nevertheless, Lawrence had some idea why she was smiling.
She looked at him as if he were a small child who had fallen and was trying not to cry.
“Mm.” Holo nodded and tapped Col’s head – he was sitting beside her.
Col was one of them now.
“Please, go on!” Col replied to Lawrence, who began his explanation.
The inn was also a tavern, and it was late enough into the night that their orders of wine were fulfilled by a yawning innkeeper.
Lawrence had expected that either Kieman or Eve would come calling, but there was no news from either of them. He sipped wine out of sheer nervous energy, but his worry was so much effort in vain.
By contrast, Holo got Col quite drunk, as usual.
Once she was able to confirm that the intoxicated boy was asleep, she would move back to her own bed. Holo insisted that if she did not get him drunk, he would sleep on the floor.
Lawrence was not sure if she was doing him any favors or not. Her methods were extreme; that much was certain.
“Now then, this will finish off our day nicely.”
Given that he had made a fool of himself twice that day, Lawrence had gone to fetch more wine from downstairs, though he knew it did not constitute an apology.
Holo seemed to expect as much, but Lawrence could tell that she was a bit disappointed at his meek obedience. She even seemed annoyed at his ordering of the last bottle, as she felt it excessive.
Usually she would make a dissatisfied face upon encountering the end of the evening’s drinking, but now, if anything, she seemed relieved.
Her ability to be so thoroughly dishonest about her own desires was a cunning, wolfish thing indeed.
And yet Holo was still Holo.
“Ah, well, for my part I only wish you’d bring your whimpering to an end.” She tried to pull her tail out from under Col’s head at the corner of the bed and took the bottle from Lawrence’s hand, a nasty smile on her face.
She was being so childish that it seemed likely she would enjoy his silence even more than a clumsy retort.
But if she got too happy, her wagging tale would surely wake the sleeping Col, so Lawrence formed a careful reply.
“Yet ask any mercenary, and they’ll tell you the strong die first. I’d say some pathetic whimpering is just right.”
“Fool,” declared an unamused Holo, looking back down at Col. She grabbed his ears and pulled his head slightly up, evidently still trying to pull her tail free. It seemed a little extreme to Lawrence, until he noticed the drool that threatened to fall from the boy’s mouth onto her tail. “I can’t let my guard down,” said Holo, sighing in relief as she stroked her now-freed tail.
Lawrence watched her and popped a chilled roaste
d bean into his mouth before going and opening the window slightly. A group of men were passing by, and from the unsteadiness of their gaits, it seemed likely they were returning home after a night’s drinking. If things were so bad that men were wandering around drunkenly despite there being no festival, then the city was in a bad way indeed.
Assuming the northern landowners were in charge, it seemed best to assume they were losing their ability to hold things together.
The narwhal could change everything.
More and more, Lawrence was coming to understand just how important it was.
“I am right here, and yet you gaze out the window?”
Holo had moved to a chair and helped herself to a handful of roast beans.
There was a boldness to her crunching away that made him somehow happy.
Lawrence shrugged and closed the windows. “We still need to be ready to escape at a moment’s notice.”
The answer seemed to satisfy Holo. She chuckled, picked up a bean that had fallen, and ate it. “I suppose ’tis true enough. Will you not drink with me a bit? ’Tis a sad thing to drink on one’s own.”
Holo poked at his cup of wine with her finger, causing ripples on the surface of the wine he had just poured into it.
Looking down at it, Lawrence realized he had not even finished half of his first cup. “Why not? It seems unlikely we’ll get a message at this hour.”
“Of that we cannot be certain.”
“Huh?” inquired Lawrence, regarding Holo from across the table.
“Vixens have excellent night vision.”
Lawrence thought it over for a moment, then shrugged and replied, “All the more important to drink now, then.”
“Huh?”
“If I collapse unconscious from too much drink, there’s no need to worry about how I might be tricked.”
Holo grinned, revealing a fang. “Fool. If you fall asleep and expose your belly, our tale will come to an early end.”
“I can’t imagine the wolf would let the fox steal her prey so easily,” replied Lawrence, which made Holo’s grin widen, showing her other fang.
“That’s a bit hard to know. After all, my prey is always showing me its belly. ’Tis all too easy to become careless and believe there’s no need for haste. Such thinking is dangerous.”
Having come to this point, Lawrence could not resist making some kind of comeback. “But your tail’s just as exposed. If you would take me by surprise, you’d best be careful I don’t grab your tail.”
“And I suppose you want me to insist that you’d never dare such a thing, hmm?” Holo’s elbows were on the table, her ears flicking rapidly; Lawrence felt a bit irritated.
He knew he was being teased, but he took a drink and responded, “And yet you’re hiding something about the narwhal from me.”
Immediately after saying so, he was the one who ended up surprised.
Holo grinned and brought her wine cup to her mouth, but then twitched in surprise.
If she had been acting, then Lawrence would have lost their little game – but Holo was genuinely shocked.
Her eyes moved away, realizing that she could not hide that she had been taken by surprise. She bit her lip and glared at Lawrence.
“I’m even more surprised than you are,” said Lawrence by way of excuse.
At this, Holo’s brow furrowed, and she took a deep breath. After a good interval, she heaved a wine-scented sigh.
“And this is why such fools as you are…” she muttered, gulping down what wine remained.
Lawrence should have had the advantage, but for some reason, he waited for Holo to speak again, like a child expecting to be scolded.
“I don’t care what sort of face you make, I’m not saying. I do not wish to,” she said, and she looked away sullenly.
Her angry yet childish demeanor had to be on purpose.
She might have been trying to lead him into a trap or simply trying to buy time in order to regroup.
As Lawrence pondered which it was, Holo’s ears and tail became vital indicators.
Just as hunters and trappers communicated with smoke signals, Lawrence translated the subtle movements of Holo’s appendages.
She was trying to hide her embarrassment – or something like that. “Ah,” he couldn’t help but say the moment he realized it.
“If you say another word, I truly will be angry,” Holo said, still looking away, her eyes shut.
Lawrence agonized over whether to laugh or not, finally bringing his wine cup to his lips as a diversion – that was as much of a conclusion as he could come to.
Holo knew about the narwhal.
If so, she must also be aware of the legends and rumors surrounding it – that its flesh conferred long life and medicine made from its horn cured any illness.
Then it was all Lawrence could do to think back on the events of his travels with Holo thus far.
What was it that her long life had led her to fear above all else?
And yet even Holo could not have known everything at the time of her birth. She must have been a stubborn child at some point herself – must have run around like a fool at least once or twice in her life.
Even now, if she could make a wish, surely it would be this: to somehow bridge the great difference in their ages.
“… I thought you’d realized and were merely pretending not to know for my sake – more the fool me, I suppose.”
She seemed to have concluded from Lawrence’s expression that he had finally caught up. She spoke as though at a loss for anything else and again brought her wine to her lips.
Lawrence was relieved to see that she seemed neither sad nor on the verge of tears, because it showed that even stricken by a mistake made in the distant past, her face could still smile.
“No… to be completely honest, I thought you were completely ignorant about such things. I never guessed you’d know about the legend.”
The stories of immortality or omnipotent cures were surely only of interest to humans, after all. He had never guessed they would be of any concern to Holo and the rest of her kind.
“Fool…” Holo roughly wiped away a bit of wine that clung to the corner of her mouth with her sleeve and then fell forward on the table as if exhausted.
Given how tightly her hand held her cup, though, it might simply have been intoxication.
“So you once pursued a narwhal?” Lawrence asked, and Holo nodded.
It had to have been centuries ago.
“Though ’tis true that at the time I was an ignorant pup, I believed I could change everything about the world I found distasteful. When I hated being rescued or relied upon, I would journey, and when I had no friends, I would make them. I believed such pleasant times would last forever,” she reflected, sounding vaguely amused, still lying on the table as she fingered some of the beans that had spilled off the plate.
Even now, Holo held back from being truly honest. If this was how she ended up after weathering such ages of wind and rain, then she must truly have been even sharper in her younger days.
“Still, I cried a lot as well, for all my bluster. You’d probably have liked it.”
Holo grinned and moved her eyes to focus on Lawrence.
She flicked beans at him, which he could only respond to by making a face and retreating into his wine.
“Heh… but, aye. The more painful the memories one recollects, the better the laughter.”
“I can’t argue with that.” Lawrence had laughed to himself while driving his cart many times, lost in reflection over his past failures.
But that was not something he wanted to do too often, and the reason was clear – he had lacked someone with whom to share those memories. And yet he immediately realized such thoughts had no place in his mind.
Across the table, the keen-eyed wolf regarded him and smiled.
“But now I have you,” she said without a trace of embarrassment, and he could only respond by flicking a bean back at her.
“You have Col, too.”
“I cannot talk like this with Col. The lad – he’s the weight stone that reminds me I am a wisewolf.”
What did she mean by that? Lawrence’s finger froze preflick as he thought it over.
Col was from a village in the mountains of the north. He viewed Holo as the protagonist of an ongoing legend.
Which meant there could be only one reason why she would regard him as a weight.
Her finger suddenly flicked at where Lawrence’s finger lay.
“Col worships me as a wisewolf. He was foolish enough to want to touch my tail the moment he saw it. It’s been centuries since such a thing has happened to me. It reminded me of long ago and made me happy… He’s a good lad, and he reminds me that I am a wisewolf.”
Holo’s index finger curled around Lawrence’s where the two touched.
“It’s true, you have been easier to get along with recently.”
“Heh. I’ve no excuse.”
If Holo was to be taken at her word, Col’s worship of her as a wisewolf had reminded her that she was a wisewolf. And as for why that would be, the answer was obvious.
It was Holo the Wisewolf who was worthy of the forest of Yoitsu, not some idle girl whiling away her time with a traveling merchant.
“Still,” Lawrence said after a certain amount of wordless finger play between the two of them. “For you to keep that from me, after haranguing me so much over consulting you before deciding what to do…”
How many troubles had arisen from each of them keeping their hearts secret from the other?
It pained him to have to say this, of course, but Holo answered without rancor. “If I discuss matters of business openly, my own gain will be less, will it not?” If she had not said it with such a mischievous smile, it would have been hard to accept with even the most rueful of grins.
Holo sat up and stretched, her ears flicking.
Both of them knew how important it was that they not grow too close. And yet that very awareness meant the opposite was happening – Lawrence had kicked the rule aside himself before.
Even Holo must have kicked at the stones along the path of her long, long life once or twice.
And yet none of that changed reality.
Spice & Wolf Omnibus Page 156
