by Debra Kayn
She slowed Rickrack down and jumped off the horse before he came to a complete stop. Dropping the reins, she stomped over to the old well house where her dad had drawn a bull’s-eye on the side of the dilapidated building and taught each of his daughters how to shoot a rifle.
Without a gun handy, she picked up a stone out of the field. Staring at the faded red spot in the middle of the target, she hurled the rock at the sidewall. She missed. She stomped her foot and searched for more things to throw. A stick, a pebble, a dirt clod…anything would do. She wanted to beat something up if she couldn’t scream and fight away this disease that was claiming her dad, the sickness that would take him away from her.
Never before had she lost all sense of control over every aspect of her life. She was losing the last parent she had left. What good was the McDougal ranch without the man who made it everything it was today?
Not finished relieving her anger, she scooped up another stick and yelped. She dropped the piece of wood and squeezed her finger. A sliver of wood pierced the spot under her fingernail where nail met skin. Pulling the shard out, she gazed down at the spot of blood growing bigger. Screaming, she kicked the offending stick and doubled over at the waist. “It’s not fair!”
A hand touched her back. She whirled around and choked on a sob. “Go away, Jack.”
“Sh.” He clamped his hand down on her neck. “I wanna stay, darlin’.”
She violently shook her head. “I-I can’t. I can’t do this. Just go. Give me time. I—”
“You’re hurting.” He pulled her closer, but she resisted.
She pushed against his chest. “No, Jack. I-I’m not strong enough.” With his shirt bunched up in her fist, she attempted to shake some sense into him. “I can’t handle any of this.” She screamed in frustration. “I can’t lose everyone.”
“Sh, baby. You can do this, because you have to. You’re strong and your daddy needs you. Your sisters need you.” He held her hands on his chest. “Look at me.” He waited until she stopped struggling. “I’m here. I’ll help you any way I can. Dig down deep, Chantilly. You know what your daddy thinks ’bout this ranch. He trusts you one hundred percent to keep the McDougal ranch going. The greatest gift you can give him is to keep his dream alive for you and your sisters. Concentrate on that. Every head you sell will come from Stuart, every field that produces a useable crop comes from seed he planted. Keep this place goin’…for him and you. I’ll help you any way I can, I promise, darlin’.”
Chantilly stared into his eyes. She gasped for breath. Her lungs wouldn’t fill. She couldn’t breathe. How could she believe his words when life had disappointed her so much in the last forty-eight hours? Everything had changed, and she’d never get back the predictable happy life she had a couple days ago.
“Do you hear me, Chantilly?” He cupped her face in his hands. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll help you. I love you.” The pads of his thumbs stroked the tears from underneath her eyes. “I. Love. You.”
Instead of pushing him away, she pulled him closer. She wanted the quiet strength that came from his body, his words and his presence in her life. Standing in his arms wasn’t enough.
“Jack?” She licked her lips. “Make love to me.”
His brows lowered. “Chantilly?” He kissed her forehead. “You’re not thinking straight, darlin’.” He leaned closer and pressed his lips against her cheek, near her mouth, and stayed leaning against her. “Let’s go back to the cabin. Florentine is with your dad, and you need to rest.” He stroked the back of her head without moving away. “I’ll lay down with you. You’re exhausted, and I don’t want you getting sick.”
“No, Jack.” She let go of him and fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. “I need you, want you, right now. Make me forget everything but you. You’ll make me feel better. Just you and me, Jack.”
He leaned back and gazed down at her hands. “Are you sure, darlin’?”
“Yes.” She opened her shirt all the way and had the button on her jeans undone in no time. “It’s the only thing I’m positive ’bout.”
He braced her as she stepped out of her jeans, and then removed his shirt to spread out on the ground. She nibbled on his neck, at the same time undoing his belt and lowering his zipper.
“On the ground, Jack.” She placed her hands on the side of his waist and backed him up. “Hurry.”
He lay down on his back, propped himself up on his elbows and gazed up at her. She straddled his body and stared down at him. Her body hummed in response to the way his eyelids lowered and his chest rose as if he didn’t believe she was serious about making love with him out here in the open.
“Chantilly?” He held out his hand. “Come here, darlin’.”
She knelt, shuddering as his hardness slid into her body. His hands spanned her waist. She leaned forward, her breasts spilling out of her bra above his face. He licked his lips and groaned. Moving on top of him, she put all the emotions over learning about her dad’s prognosis into showing Jack how desperately she needed him.
The muscles in her legs burned and her arms quivered, yet she kept moving. The delightful feelings coming from her core pushed away the depression. She wanted it gone, to forget for a moment, to only have pleasure back in her life.
“Jack.” She clawed his chest. “I want…” Closing her eyes, she held her breath, the fire building inside her rushing to the surface seeking release.
“That’s it, darlin’.” He helped her rise and fall without losing the pace she set. “Ah, yeah.” His legs stiffened.
Chantilly’s head fell back and she sank down until she was sitting on him fully. Her body spasmed around him. She shuddered and gave in to her orgasm. Yes.
She lay down on his chest. His arms circled her body. Even after having sex with him, she realized her tears continued to fall. Happy emotions mixed with despair, and she could no longer distinguish between the two.
“Sh, darlin’.” He stroked her back. “You’ll survive. Margot, Bisette, Val, Florentine and I will be right here. That’s the way your daddy wanted it. You don’t have to worry ’bout the ranch, I’m here. I promised Stuart the day he hired me I’d stay through to the end. You spend all your time with your dad and cherish how much he loves you.”
She stiffened. What…? Pushing herself off him, she fell on her butt beside him. Shaking her head, she scrambled up and stared at him. No.
“Chantilly?” Jack stood up and tugged up his jeans. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“You.” She stepped backward. “You knew.” Turning around, she picked up her pants and slipped them on. “I can’t believe this.” She shoved her stocking feet inside her boots.
“Wait…” He reached up to touch her face, but she jerked away.
“You knew.” She narrowed her eyes. “You…son of a bitch! You knew the whole time you’ve been here that my dad was sick and gonna d-die. You kept it secret!”
Jack dropped his chin. The brim of his hat covered his expression. “Yes. I knew from the first day Stuart hired me. It wasn’t my place to interfere.”
“Interfere? You said you loved me, we’re a team. You kept this from me.” She raised her arm and pointed her finger. “Get off my ranch, Jack Grady. I never wanna see your lying no-good self again.”
Running to Rickrack, who’d wandered over to eat out of the tall grass, she kept her back to him.
“Chantilly Lace, please…let me explain.”
She leaped up into the saddle without using the stirrup and whipped her head around to stare down Jack. “Pack your bags, Jack. You’ve done your job. I’ll have Daddy write you a check.”
Chantilly kicked the sides of her horse and left Jack standing out in the field. She clenched her jaw. She’d not cry over Jack. He wasn’t worth the tears.
She rode into the ranch at a full gallop, put Rickrack in his stall, rubbed him down, put some alfalfa cubes in his feeder and stalked up to the house. Each step hardened her resolve and made her stronger. Jack’s betrayal
gave her something to focus her energy on.
Stuart sat on the porch alone, a lace throw covered his legs to keep the chill off. “What’s wrong, girl?”
“I fired Jack.” She crossed her arms and stood on the first step.
“Humph.” Stuart set the chair to rocking. “Last time I looked, I still owned this ranch, Chantilly Lace. You’ve overstepped yourself this time. I’m not firing Jack.”
She reeled back, caught herself and stuck her chin up. “Fine. If you want a lying dirt bag for a foreman, go ahead and keep him.” Clomping up the steps, she stormed to the door.
Stuart grabbed her wrist, slamming her to a stop. “He told you.”
She sucked in her breath. “A lil’ too late—”
“He was following orders. A man’s word is worth a pretty penny, sweetheart.” Stuart let go of her arm. “I didn’t raise you to be stupid. Wait until your mind clears and you can think straight before you throw away a man who loves you the way Jack does.” He paused. “You can’t deny that you love him back, sweetheart.”
Chantilly stepped to the door, opened it and disappeared into the house. She never stopped, but continued straight to her room. This time, love’s not enough, Daddy.
Chapter Fifteen
“What are you doing up here on the porch, Tilly?” Stuart bent over to lift one of the saddlebacks out of the way, hesitated and walked around it instead. “We’ve got a tack room for this job.”
Chantilly studied the way Stuart held on to the porch railing and shrugged. “It’s a nice day. I thought I’d enjoy the sunshine before summer’s over and our days turn dark and dreary.”
She dipped the soapy brush into the bucket at her feet and scrubbed at a stubborn spot on the side of one of her dad’s favorite saddles. Gritting her teeth, she kept her gaze down on her work and ignored the questioning look she’d become accustomed to seeing on her dad’s face lately.
Aware of his unwavering stare, Chantilly forced herself to hum an upbeat tune. His heeled boots clunked against the porch planks. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. She lifted her gaze. Her heart melted. What would happen when her dad wasn’t able to walk up to her or even utter the words she so desperately needed to her from him?
“I’m going into town. The doc wants to take more of my blood to make sure the antibiotics are working.” He heaved a breath. “Might even stop in at Valenciennes’ and talk to her for a bit. Don’t worry ’bout supper for me. I’ll have Val whip me up one of those baked potatoes with all the fixins.”
“Okay.” She dropped the bristled brush in a pail of clean water. “I’m almost done here. I just hafta put some oil on those two bits. Is there anything else you want me to do?”
Stuart shook his head. “Nope. Might as well take the rest of the afternoon off.”
She cocked her head. When did Daddy become so wrinkled around his eyes?
Looking at him closely, she noticed the bags under his eyes. He was also due for a haircut. He had silver-gray hair poking out around his ears from the cowboy hat he was never seen without. On impulse, she stepped up and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
“What’s that for, sweetheart?” He tugged the end of her curl.
She smiled. “Can’t a girl kiss her daddy?”
He winked. “She sure can.” Clipping her under the chin, he turned and headed off the porch. “I’ll be back in a lil’ while. Try to stay out of trouble while I’m gone.”
“I’ll try.” She laughed. “You know me, though. If trouble comes a knocking, it’s hard to say no.”
Stuart continued walking away, shaking his head. “I think you said that same thing when I had to pay Sheriff Roy Lee to get you and Margot outta jail after you painted Miss Reed’s milk cow pink after she gave you a B in English.”
“Oh, come on!” Chantilly laughed. “You thought it was funny too after we pleaded with you to drive by the teacher’s house and you saw our handiwork. That was the biggest pink cow in the world.”
She moved to the railing. Maybe I should drive him to his doctor appointment. Waving, she recalled his request for them all to act normal. He didn’t want any special attention or for them to hover over every step he made. His one wish was that his children’s lives continued on and they not mourn him until after he was gone. I’ll try, Daddy.
While lugging the tack off the porch and to the trailer behind the four-wheel quad parked in the yard, Chantilly glanced over at the feed barn. A flash of Jack hauling grain sacks came and went too fast for her to see if he’d realized she was outside. The past few days he’d cornered her every time she stepped out the door to do some chore around the ranch and tried to talk with her. She carried the last saddle to the trailer. She realized she couldn’t avoid Jack forever.
Chantilly drove the all-terrain vehicle over to the horse stable and proceeded to carry the tack inside where all the supplies were kept in a temperature controlled room. After the last item was put away, she leaned against the saddle stand and let her head fall back against the wall. She closed her eyes. Her memories of what she and Jack shared together, and her love for him was still tangible despite her declaration that it was over between them.
Her dad would not fire him, and deep down, she knew that having Jack on the ranch helped her too. They all needed him now that the truth was out. Stuart had planned everything down to the littlest detail. Even hiring a man capable of running the ranch single-handedly while she and the others helped Daddy. And Daddy needed help. It was as if having the truth come out let him give up his tough exterior. Chantilly saw the wear and tear, the tiredness and the limp in his walk. Opening her eyes, she pulled herself up and shut off the light. With her head down, she walked out of the room and right into Jack.
“Whoa, darlin’.” Jack grabbed her arms to keep her from tumbling backward.
Chantilly’s breath caught in her throat and she stared up into Jack’s face. She swallowed. His brows lowered over the bridge of his nose and he seemed to study her. The love and heartbreak in his beautiful face hurt the pit of her stomach.
She hated causing anyone pain, even those who deserved it. Jack had lied to her and kept her in the dark about the most important thing in her life. She couldn’t feel something for him, could she?
“Excuse me.” She stepped out of his hold.
Jack dropped his hands. “Chantilly…?”
She stopped her retreat but didn’t answer him. He’d hear the indecisiveness in her voice, and she didn’t want him to know that she battled with her judgment on punishing him for his actions.
“How are you?” He hooked his thumbs on the back pockets of his jeans. “Are you hanging in there?”
She nodded. “Florentine’s not finishing the rest of the season. She…helps me.”
“Good. That’s real good, darlin’.” Jack dug his heel in the ground, but she could feel his gaze on her. “Listen, Chantilly. I—”
“I’ve gotta go.” She hurried out of the barn toward the house. Why now? I can’t deal with this on top of everything else.
Jack gazed at Chantilly’s back. Her was head held high, her arms stiff at her sides and her stride long and intent on taking her far away from him. He spit on the ground, tugged his hat down farther on his forehead and turned back to the work at hand.
She thought it was over between them, but her eyes said something completely different. The woman was no more over him than he’d ever walk away and leave her. Opening up the stable door, he clicked his tongue. Chuck stepped over to the opening and nudged Jack’s chest with his nose. “It’s best she gets used to having us around, huh?” He patted the side of Chuck’s neck. “She’ll appreciate that my word is solid and someday—” Jack led Chuck out of the stall, “—her life will start to make sense again, and when it does, I’m gonna love her forever.”
Chuck nickered and danced in place in the aisle of the barn. Jack ran his hand down the horse’s mane. “Feel like cooling off, Chuck?”
Without a saddle or bit on the horse, Jack swu
ng up onto Chuck’s back and rode him outside. He fisted his hand in the mane, tapped his heels against Chuck’s underbelly and headed toward the river.
Chapter Sixteen
The front door softly clicked behind Chantilly, and she tiptoed barefoot over the porch into the grass. Heading toward the barn, she found herself smiling for a change. Florentine always found a way to blackmail her into doing something crazy.
“Hurry up, sis.” Florentine sat on Ginger, her horse, and leaned over with her hand out. “You’ll hafta ride with me now. You took forever sneaking out of the house. It’ll take too long for you to grab a mount.”
Chantilly clasped Florentine’s wrist and swung up on top of the horse behind her. “Explain to me exactly why we’re sneaking out at eleven o’clock on a Saturday night.” She snorted. “Twenty-four years old and you’re acting like we’re sixteen. Besides, Dad was sitting in the living room and waved to me as I came down the stairs.”
Florentine looped the horse around and pointed her toward field C. “Drat!” She leaned over and unlatched the gate. “He must know something is up.”
Chantilly kicked the gate closed. “It didn’t help that Margot and Bisette kept calling for you on the phone all day.” She focused on the land in front of them. “I don’t understand why you all are keeping me in the dark. What do you plan to do out here?”
“Just wait, you’ll see.”
The soft clomping of the shoeless horse across the prairie filled the sisters’ silence the rest of the trip. Chantilly shook her head, putting her hair down her back. She should have braided the curls off her neck. It was hotter than blazes out here, and even with the moon up the humidity was high. Florentine better be heading toward the river. I could go for a midnight swim.
Florentine pulled up beside the river. The rest of the sisters were already there sitting on a blanket. A wave of happiness washed through her at having everyone once again back home together.
