“You bet.”
A boy hoisted his stuffed eagle. “What about Natty?”
Kimmie wrinkled her nose. “You can’t count stuffed animals. They aren’t real.”
“Who says?”
Around the room, the kids began debating among themselves. Raised hands turned into gesturing hands. Stuffed animals squeaked angrily.
How did an adult intervene in a dispute like this? Zack wondered. Berry had never been argumentative. When Rima described her as a compliant child, he hadn’t understood what that meant. He was beginning to get the picture.
“They seem like people,” a blond boy announced, his voice rising above the rest as he wielded a fuzzy green brontosaurus. Zack recognized him as Brady Franco, Kate and Tony’s son. “There aren’t any more dinosaurs, so Sneezer isn’t real. He still has feelings.”
Zack recalled how Berry clung to her lion, Roar, whenever she was upset. “We invest emotions in our stuffed animals,” he said. “So to us, they take on real characteristics.”
The children stopped talking. Some frowned, while others stared at him blankly. Apparently invest and characteristics weren’t second-grade vocabulary words.
“Good point, Dr. Sargent,” Jan said tactfully. “Oh, here’s Mrs. Humphreys!” Relief showed in her face.
Zack shared the feeling.
* * *
JAN GAZED WISTFULLY at the two-story blue house with a picket fence, a rose trellis and white shutters. If it had appeared in a real-estate ad, she’d have clipped it, if only to dream about.
“Renting?” she asked as Zack stopped in the driveway.
“Bought it three years ago. The mortgage makes for a tight budget, but I wanted a secure place for Berry to grow up.” He glanced into the backseat, where the kitten was mewing pitifully in its carrier. “She’s had a lot of loss and upheaval in her life.”
“What happened to her birth father?” Jan asked as she got out.
“Motorcycle accident.” Zack didn’t explain further.
They’d stopped at a store to pick up supplies, Zack waiting in the car while Jan ran inside. “Shall I drop by in the morning to pick up the kitten?” she asked as she removed the ventilated plastic carton and toted it toward the porch. Inside, Smidge scrabbled about to keep her balance.
“According to the card, the animal center doesn’t open till nine. I’ll swing by at lunch tomorrow and take her over.” Zack spoke briskly as he let them inside.
Stepping into the entryway, Jan caught the scent of lemon cleanser. The tile floor gleamed, and in the living room to her right, the carpet showed only a few traces of footprints on the vacuumed surface. Beige draperies set off a red couch, splashy yellow, red and white throw cushions, and a couple of zebra-striped armchairs.
Among a tabletop of framed photos, a beaming image stood out: a smiling young woman with cocoa-colored skin, her wiry hair gathered into a topknot with stray curls rioting around her face.
“Did your wife choose the furniture?” Jan guessed. “It’s very cheerful.”
“Yes, for our apartment in L.A.” Zack crossed the hallway and opened a door to reveal a bathroom beneath a bend in the staircase. “I took the job at Safe Harbor a few months after she died. Berry and I needed a fresh start, and this was a good environment for her.”
Much as she admired his devotion to his stepdaughter, Jan couldn’t ignore a twist of envy. He’d fallen for another woman very quickly after their breakup. She’d told herself it had been on the rebound, but his defection hurt. Also, by the time he married, he’d known Jan was pregnant, yet he’d willingly given up both Jan and their child for a new love and her little girl.
Stop thinking about that. You have important arrangements to make. For Kimmie’s sake and Berry’s, they had to agree on how to proceed.
First things first. Gazing around, Jan saw this was merely a powder room. They’d have to wedge the litter box next to the toilet and set the water bowl as far away as possible. The dish of kitten food could go under the edge of the cabinet, which left scarcely any room on the floor.
“Do you have a big towel?” she asked. “Smidge shouldn’t have to lie on the hard tile.”
“Sure.” Zack reached past her to a shelf piled with towels. His nearness made her keenly aware of the way his dark red open-collared shirt fit the strong contours of his body. As he brushed past, Jan caught the scent of his light aftershave.
Inside the carrier, the kitten mewed sorrowfully. “It’s okay, Smidge,” she murmured. “We’ll get you settled in a minute.”
Zack lifted down a fluffy yellow towel edged with lace. “If you refer to it by name, you’ll get attached.”
Disturbed by his coldness, Jan nearly changed her mind and insisted on taking the kitten home. Then she remembered the landlord’s finger stabbing at the no-pets section of their lease as if the fate of the earth hung in the balance if she broke it. “Don’t you have a ratty old towel? She could ruin this one.”
“Good idea.” He refolded the towel, thrust it back on the shelf and disappeared into a hallway. A moment later, from deep in the house, she heard a door open, presumably to the garage.
Setting the carrier on the floor, Jan tried to coax the kitten out. Its little eyes peered up at her fearfully. “What happened to you?” she asked in the indulgent tone reserved for babies and small animals. “Where’s your mommy?” She had enough experience with kittens to know this one was old enough to be weaned, so perhaps it had gone hunting and gotten lost.
Smidge stopped cringing and ventured a paw out. A moment later it was sniffing Jan’s leg. She patted the soft fur. “What a cutie.”
Zack had been right. She was close to losing her heart. Who could resist this little creature? she wondered as she picked it up.
Zack, for one. Her landlord, for another.
Strong footsteps approached. “How’s this?” Edging past her, Zack laid a tattered pink towel on the floor. Judging by the color it must have been red before surviving a zillion washings. Still, it looked thick and comfortable.
As she held Smidge in the doorway, he opened the package of kitty litter and poured some carefully into the box, then filled the water and food bowls. “She should be okay now, right? Should I pour her some milk?”
“It might go bad. You can warm some when you get home.”
The room lacked a window. Still, cats could see in the dark, and the door was high enough off the floor to let in air. Although tempted to suggest they provide some toys or, better yet, choose a larger bathroom, Jan figured she’d be pushing her luck.
It was after three o’clock. In just a few hours, Zack would return from work and, as he’d said, Berry would most likely make a beeline for the kitten.
Jan released Smidge onto the towel. “Time to go,” Zack said from behind her.
“Bye, little one. You’ll be fine.” Hoping it was true, she drew back and let Zack close the door. Her breath caught as a plaintive meow followed them.
“Kittens sound a lot like human babies,” Zack observed. “I’ve read that’s why people respond to them so strongly.”
Also, they have hearts. Best not to insult him. “We should go.”
“You can wash your hands in the kitchen.”
“Right. Thanks.” At his direction, Jan went past a home office, which she saw at a glance was furnished with a sturdy wooden desk and swivel chair, computer and bookcase. In the back of the house, they crossed a family room filled with a couch, upholstered chai
rs and a large TV. Through a sliding glass door, she noted a patio, fenced yard and gingerbread-style playhouse. “I’ll bet Berry adores that.”
“The playhouse? She only uses it when her friend Cindy comes over.” He indicated the sink in the spacious kitchen that opened off the family room. “You can freshen up in here.”
State-of-the-art refrigerator, oven and stove top. Burnished cabinets and a breakfast nook. If only Kimmie could grow up in a place like this.
Jan squelched the thought. The only way her daughter could live in such a cozy house was if she came to stay with her father. And that was a possibility Jan refused to consider.
Hands washed and dried, she turned and nearly ran into Zack. “Before we go,” he said, “we should talk.”
Jan didn’t ask about what. Her throat was too dry to let a word escape. Besides, she already knew the answer.
No more avoidance. Whatever the next step was, they were about to take it.
Chapter Four
Eight years ago Zack’s life had turned upside down without warning. Now it was happening again. In one day, he’d learned his daughter hadn’t been given to strangers but was growing up with her mother...and that he could and would have a relationship with Kimmie. Not in the distant future, but right now.
So he sat across the table from the woman he’d once loved, trying to figure out how to make up for lost time with his daughter and how to deal with a raging storm of anger, disappointment and guilt.
An image of Kimmie standing in front of the class remained etched in his mind. Dark hair falling around her intense face, chin lifted defiantly, she’d been ready to take on all comers.
She reminded him of Jan, back when the hospital in L.A. had accused her of harming a patient through ignorance and carelessness. At the time, Zack had seen Jan as stubbornly defending her wrongful actions.
She’d administered an overdose of medication, precipitating an attack that nearly cost an elderly man his life. The fact that he’d recovered had been a blessing, and enabled them to keep legal authorities out of it. Still, nothing changed the fact the man had been subjected to unnecessary harm, and the hospital had had to settle out of court with his family.
Zack had urged Jan to admit responsibility and drop her fight against being fired. Although he realized this black mark might end her career, he’d believed a person with integrity admitted his or her mistakes. While her inexperience might explain the error, it didn’t excuse her obstinacy.
She’d furiously told him he ought to trust her, that the fault lay with the cardiologist and the nursing supervisor. She’d insisted the hospital had tampered with its records and conspired against her.
He’d considered her claims absurd. The doctor was a top specialist with an international reputation. As for the idea that the well-respected nursing supervisor would conspire to alter records—it didn’t bear discussing.
After an argument, she’d thrown the engagement ring at him. A month later, when she informed him she was pregnant and intended to put the baby up for adoption, waiving his paternal rights had seemed a sensible solution for both them and the baby.
After that, events had moved swiftly in directions he couldn’t have foreseen. Although Zack had wondered about his daughter, within months he’d committed himself to another woman and her child who needed him more.
Now he had to deal with the consequences. Angry as he might be about Jan’s keeping him in the dark, he couldn’t lay all the blame on her.
A lot depended on this discussion. With that temper of hers, she might abruptly decide to take Kimmie and leave the area. Zack didn’t know what he’d do if that happened.
He folded his hands on the kitchen table. Best to start in a civil fashion. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Is this the last meal of an accused prisoner?” Jan angled her chair away from him defensively.
Zack ignored the sarcasm. “Orange juice, milk, ginger ale?”
“Orange juice, please.”
He poured glasses for them both and returned. “We need to set ground rules.”
“Such as?”
The first one was tough but important. “No blaming each other in front of people. That can only deteriorate into open hostility.”
She took a sip before speaking. “Agreed.”
“Also, we keep our personal business private. No discussing it at work.”
Jan considered this. Studying her at close range, Zack noted her cheeks had lost some of their roundness, and her face had gained strength and maturity. Perhaps he didn’t know her, or her temper, as well as he once had.
“People will find out we have a daughter together,” she countered.
Zack recognized the news would inevitably spread. “I did mention to a few people that we were once engaged.” Conversations in the operating room tended to cover a wide range of subjects, some quite personal.
“Which people?”
He tried to recall. “Dr. Paige Brennan. Stacy Raditch. The anesthesiologist. The circulating nurse.” Operating rooms were busy places.
Jan’s hands gripped the glass. Hanging on to her anger? “Still, we don’t have to say anything more for the moment.”
Good. They were on the same page so far. Now came the most sensitive part. “And I want time together. Just her and me.”
Thank goodness she’d set down the glass or it might have cracked. Still, despite the tension in her muscles, she kept her tone level. “Before that can happen I have to break the news to her.”
He should be the one to do that. Then Zack remembered the suspicious glare Kimmie had leveled at him in the classroom. To her, he was a stranger. Walking into Kimmie’s life and declaring himself her father might suit his fantasies, but there was no telling how she’d react. Also, he needed to explain the situation to Berry, as well. “All right.”
Jan’s shoulders relaxed a little. “Now, how are we going to explain what happened without blame?”
“We can say we just...” Zack stopped. Just what? “I don’t want Kimmie to think I didn’t care what happened to her.” He’d expected Jan to choose a loving, stable home for their little girl. An ideal home—as if such a thing existed.
“And I don’t want her to get the impression I denied her a father all these years in order to punish you,” Jan retorted.
Even if it’s true? Avoiding blame was hard, Zack reflected. “We should coordinate our stories.”
They hashed it out for a few minutes. The broken engagement was unavoidable. The hurt feelings and misunderstandings. But how to address the painful facts that Jan had left the area without telling him she’d kept Kimmie, and he’d married someone else and invested his love in another little girl?
“I don’t see how we can soft-pedal this,” Zack said.
An enigmatic smile lit Jan’s face. “How about admitting we both screwed up?”
“That’s the truth,” he conceded. “I suppose it has the merit of being easy to remember.”
“And avoids a sense of deception when the kids eventually find out whatever we try to hide. Which they will,” she added.
“I hope they can forgive us,” Zack said. “They’re awfully young to understand how confused we were.” He’d always seen his parents as towering figures, powerful and in control. No doubt his daughters would regard him the same way.
“Can’t help that.” Jan sighed. Except for the thinness in her cheeks, she hadn’t changed much, he noted, as sunlight through the
window highlighted her brown eyes and full mouth. “When are we going to do this?”
Much as he wanted to rush the process, Zack recognized the need for a few days to deal with their daughters’ reactions. “I’d like to take Kimmie to lunch on Sunday.”
“Shouldn’t both of us spend time with her first...together?”
“She’ll sense the tension.” With an effort, Zack held on to his patience. “If we get testy with each other, that’ll send the wrong message.” This “date” was likely to set the tone for his and Kimmie’s relationship, at least for the near future.
Jan gave a reluctant nod. “Next Sunday, you said?”
“Berry’s in a choral group at church that’s scheduled to sing at a convalescent home after services. I won’t be picking her up until two.” He’d mentally worked out the logistics. “That leaves plenty of time for lunch.”
“Okay,” Jan agreed, although she didn’t look pleased. “I’ll bring it up tonight.”
“So will I.” In an odd way, this was like a divorce, Zack thought. Although estranged, as parents he and Jan had to work together for the children’s sake. He dug into his wallet for a card. “Here’s my cell number. So we don’t have to discuss the details at work.”
“You think we can avoid it?”
“We can try.”
She handed him a card from her purse. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Sargent.”
“Same here, Nurse Garcia.”
They’d reached a truce. Zack hoped it would hold.
* * *
“THAT MAN WHO TOOK Smidge?” Over the remains of dinner, Kimmie stared at Jan in disbelief. “He’s my daddy?”
Jan dug her fork into her salad. After she’d picked up her daughter at Grandma Maria’s house, happy chatter about school and the adventures of Mischief the bear had alternated with questions about Smidge. At home, Kimmie had cut up tomatoes and added them to the precut lettuce, standing on tiptoe at the counter while Jan deboned the roasted chicken she’d bought.
SH Medical 09 - The M.D.'s Secret Daughter Page 4
