For better or worse, their lives were now entwined. Although Jan would never presume to think she could be like a mother to Berry, the girl needed a woman’s guidance. A friend—like a big sister or aunt.
There wasn’t much of a maternal influence in the child’s life judging by what Zack had said. As for his mother, Elspeth Sargent rarely spoke up around her husband when Jan had known her. A sweet lady, but so self-effacing she practically disappeared.
In the other room, Berry put down the magazine. “May I use the bathroom?” she asked.
“Sure. Right through there.” Jan pointed toward the hallway.
It took some rejuggling to fit everything into the freezer. She kept forgetting the small size of the apartment refrigerator. She’d have to shift her buying habits to more fresh, dried and canned food while they lived here.
With everything stowed, Jan noted the time. Two-thirty. Zack had estimated arriving here at three. If she drove Berry home now, they might miss each other. Besides, now that she thought about it, neither little girl was old enough to be left alone.
The girl hadn’t returned from the bathroom. Jan found her in Kimmie’s room standing in front of the canopy bed. From an overhead ruffle, pink drapes swept gracefully to tie-backs, revealing a white-and-pink quilt decorated with fairies. Berry turned slowly, taking in the princess-framed mirror with its crown points and the pink dresser topped by a tasseled lamp.
“It’s like a fairy tale,” Berry whispered.
To mention that Kimmie had lost all interest in princesses would only rub salt into the wound, Jan suspected. “Which fairy tale is your favorite?”
“Cinderella,” Berry said at once. “She lost her mommy, too.”
Jan had never considered the story from that angle. “That’s true. But her daddy didn’t take care of her the way yours does.”
Her words flew right past the child. Kimmie had left the closet door ajar, and Berry was studying its colorful contents. “All those dresses!”
“I like them better than my daughter does,” Jan admitted.
Longing shone in Berry’s eyes as she tore herself away. “She’s lucky to have a mommy, and now she has a daddy, too.”
Telling an eight-year-old life wasn’t always fair struck Jan as cruel. Luckily a better response popped into her head. “She doesn’t have a kitten, though. We aren’t allowed to keep pets in an apartment.”
“You should buy a house,” Berry said.
“I wish we could.” No sense going into details. “Why don’t we look through some other fashion magazines until your daddy gets here? He should be back soon.”
“You have other fashion magazines?” That idea effectively distracted Berry.
“They’re in my bedroom. Just a sec.” Jan retrieved a couple, and she and Berry went to sit on the living-room couch. The little girl studied each picture eagerly, commenting on details that had escaped Jan’s notice.
A short while later she heard Kimmie’s excited voice outside, talking a mile a minute. “Those are the Mendez twins. They’re always falling off the slide. Hi, Juan! Hi, Juanita! This is my dad.” Obviously, she’d enjoyed their lunch.
Beside Jan, Berry froze. Well, the girls had to meet sometime, Jan reflected. But she’d have preferred not to spring it as a surprise on Zack.
* * *
WHEN HE’D USHERED KIMMIE into his house, Zack had wondered how she might react to seeing where he and Berry lived. On their tour of the first floor, she’d gazed wordlessly from the big-screen TV to the playhouse in the backyard, and he feared they might be reverting to an uncomfortable silence.
Then she said the magic words: “Where’s Smidge?”
Upstairs, he opened the door to the bathroom. He’d installed a comfy cat bed, a variety of squeaky toys and a small climbing tree—not bad for a few days’ work.
“Smidge! Wow, she’s grown already.” Kneeling, Kimmie allowed the kitten to sniff her before picking it up.
A warning about getting cat fur on her dress died unspoken. Despite the napkin, flecks of milk and chocolate had sneaked onto the pretty yellow fabric, and besides, Zack doubted Kimmie would care.
While she cuddled the kitten his thoughts wandered to Berry. How had her concert gone? Zack hoped she was enjoying Brady’s company. With luck she’d forgotten about his date with Kimmie. Still, he didn’t want to leave her at Kate’s for too long, so after a few minutes he suggested they leave.
Now Kimmie skipped ahead of him along the walkway to her apartment. At last they were on the home stretch. Although Jan might object to her daughter’s soiled clothes, Zack suspected the little girl would rumple almost anything she wore.
Kimmie banged on the door. When Jan opened it, the little girl said, “Hey, Mom! Guess what! Smidge is bigger already.” Her body stiffened. “What’s she doing here?”
Peering past her Zack felt a jolt of confusion. Why was Berry here? “What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain in a minute.” Jan ushered them inside.
The girls glared at each other. “You took her to our house?” Berry demanded. “You let her play with my kitten?”
Zack was framing a response when Kimmie leaped into the fray. “I found him first! And what are you doing here? My mom isn’t your mommy.”
“Well, my daddy isn’t...” Berry broke off.
“Yes, he is!” Kimmie said triumphantly. “And we had waffles for lunch.”
“You let her eat waffles?” Berry fixed accusing eyes on Zack.
“For a special occasion.” No telling how Jan had pulled it off, but she’d undercut his lunch with Kimmie. He’d trusted her, and now this?
“You didn’t let her play with my toys, did you?” Berry demanded.
“Only the kitten,” he said tightly. They’d sort this out later when they were alone.
“Girls, you’re both cranky,” Jan said. “Your dad and I need to talk in private.”
“She can’t come in my room,” Kimmie shot back.
“Fine. You go change clothes and be sure to put stain stick on those spots. Berry, would you mind taking these magazines into my bedroom and reading them there?” Expertly, Jan shepherded the children to separate spaces.
Zack barely hung on to his temper. It didn’t help to see his daughter clutching a publication with a cover model who wore outrageous makeup and a skimpy, clingy blouse. He’d seen girls at the elementary school in such trashy fashions and, while Jan dressed her own daughter modestly, he didn’t want Berry getting the wrong idea.
Not that there was anything wrong with Jan’s sense of style. Wrapped in a cloud of soft pink, she seemed luminous. Maybe that had something to do with her maternal instincts.
Stay focused. “What were you thinking?” he demanded once the bedroom doors were safely closed. “I can’t believe you picked her up and brought her here without my permission.”
Fishing in her pocket, she produced his cell phone. “You left this.”
Okay, he’d made a mistake. That didn’t justify Jan’s actions. “You should have brought it to the restaurant. I might have had an important call.”
“I was monitoring it.” Jan took a guarded stance with chin raised. She looked small and defiant, much like her daughter. “I didn’t want to interrupt you and Kimmie.”
“That wasn’t your decision.”
“Whose decision was it?” she retorted. “Furthermore, it was probably a good thing I took the call. Berry and Brady were squabbling. Kate
needed someone to pick her up. That would have ruined your lunch for sure.”
“You answered my phone.” Zack ran an agitated hand through his hair. He disliked quarreling. What was it about Jan that broke through his usual reserve? “It could have been the hospital. Did it occur to you what people might think? What did you tell Kate?”
“That we had a mix-up with the phones,” she responded coolly. “It’s almost impossible to keep secrets in a hospital for long, anyway, especially since you told people we used to be engaged.”
“You’re going to drag that into the discussion?” he snapped.
A small noise drew Zack’s attention to the hallway. Clutching a stuffed bear, Kimmie regarded them in dismay. “You’re fighting like Allie’s parents.”
“That was her best friend in Houston,” Jan explained. “Her parents got divorced.”
Mother and daughter stood in almost the same attitude, heads cocked and foreheads puckered. A matched set except for the little girl’s blazing green eyes.
“I didn’t realize the walls were so thin,” Zack told Kimmie. “We aren’t really fighting.”
“Yes, you are,” she answered. “Tell the truth.”
He blinked, taken aback. Berry would never speak to him that way. Watch out. What you say now could overshadow everything else today. “You’re right. We’re arguing.”
“You and Berry were arguing, too,” Jan told the little girl. “Sometimes people lose their tempers. Then they get over it.”
“Are you over it?” she asked her mom.
“I hope so.” Jan stared at Zack as if daring him to disagree.
She had some nerve to consider him in the wrong! Still, he was the one who’d forgotten his phone, Zack conceded. And if he’d taken Kate’s call, it would indeed have disrupted his lunch with Kimmie.
“We need to finish our discussion,” he told the child as gently as he could. “We’ll try to keep our voices down.”
Her mother nodded. “Back to your room, sweetie.”
Hugging her bear, the little girl trudged off. Zack waited until he heard the door shut. “Like it or not, we have to coordinate our parenting,” he muttered.
“I did my best to respect your wishes. Kate offered us brownies to take home. When Berry said you didn’t allow it, I declined for Kimmie also.” Jan remained standing. “I’m not the enemy here.”
“I realize that.” Might as well get another issue off his chest. “You had no way of knowing, but in future I’d rather Berry didn’t read fashion magazines. Children ought to dress like children.”
“I think I dress Kimmie just fine,” she scoffed.
Did she have to take everything as an insult? “I didn’t mean it that way. Kimmie looks cute.”
“Adult fashions aren’t suitable for children,” Jan admitted in turn. “But...”
“If Berry goes around in frilly clothes she’ll avoid exercising.” That was the heart of the matter. Literally. “I don’t want her afraid to get her clothes dirty.”
“That doesn’t seem to stop Kimmie,” Jan said wryly. A tiny smile lit her face. “Besides, Berry was reading one of those magazines at Kate’s. I wish Kimmie took as much interest in girlie stuff as Berry does.”
“Kimmie seems more resilient than my...” He’d been about to say “my daughter,” but that term applied to both girls. “Than Berry.”
Jan glanced toward the hallway. “Seeing how upset they both are, I suggest we postpone further contact for a few weeks.”
Was that her agenda? “Don’t think for a minute I’ll back off. I’m Kimmie’s father.”
“Did you hear me denying it?” Jan protested. “I didn’t have to take this appointment at Safe Harbor. I could have kept Kimmie away from you forever. I chose not to do that.”
Despite his fighting instincts, Zack backed off. “Fine. We’ll wait a week or so before setting another appointment. By then, maybe Berry won’t feel so threatened.” Also, he was on call at the hospital the following Saturday, and he and Berry planned to attend a wedding next Sunday.
“Okay. If there’s anything I can do for her...”
“For Berry? She’s great.” He’d put a lot of effort into building a safe environment for his daughter, with sitters he trusted and regular visits to his parents and her uncle. Plus a lot of one-on-one time with him.
“I’ll see you at work, then,” Jan said.
“Right.” Thank goodness for that neutral, professional setting. There, Jan was less likely to be impulsive and Zack could more easily control his temper. With time, they should be able to establish a balanced relationship.
Satisfied for the moment, he went to get Berry.
Chapter Nine
The next week Jan held sessions with small groups of staffers to discuss the egg bank’s protocols. At school, Kimmie settled in, making new friends and, as far as Jan could determine, avoiding Berry. Thank goodness the girls were a year apart.
The second week, at Zack’s suggestion, she attended a Tuesday support group of fertility patients, inviting their input and getting a sense of their concerns.
Zack stayed in the background, while a psychologist encouraged the women—and a few husbands—to speak up. Their concerns about egg donations, Jan learned, centered on legal issues. Since the laws in California differed from those in Texas, she couldn’t give specific answers but assured them she was working with the hospital attorney to make sure parents didn’t risk having a donor show up later, demanding rights to the child.
“I’ll get back to you with more details,” she promised. Immediately afterward she put in a call to Tony Franco and set up a meeting for his first available slot. She’d intended to do that, anyway.
“Going to the support group was a good idea, Dr. Sargent,” she told Zack, aware that others might overhear as they walked along the hall toward her office. “I learned a lot.”
A nurse headed in the opposite direction glanced at Zack appreciatively. He was striking, with his emerald gaze and slightly mussed hair inviting a woman to stroke it into place. Jan’s fingers twitched instinctively.
“You have a talent for working with groups.” He gave no indication he noticed the nurse. “They feel comfortable with you.”
The praise warmed Jan. “Thanks.”
“How’s...” He broke off as several people walked by.
Seeking an update on Kimmie, Jan guessed. She was curious to find out how Berry was doing, also. But they couldn’t talk here.
“We do need to set something up,” she told him as they neared the first-floor fertility suite. “I’ll text you.”
“It can be difficult to...” He stopped.
At her desk Caroline Carter swung away from her computer with an expression that struck Jan as a little too innocent. The secretary hit a key, closing a website, but not before Jan saw the familiar Twitter site.
“What’s the hospital’s policy about personal use of computers?” she demanded rhetorically.
“I’m so sorry.” This wasn’t the first time the young woman had been reprimanded for social networking on the job. And that was in addition to her gossiping in the cafeteria, Jan reflected. “One of my friends is having a baby and she’s tweeting from the delivery room. Isn’t that fascinating?”
“It’s weird,” Jan said.
“Not as unusual as you might assume,” Zack responded.
“Your patients do that?” During Kimmie’s birth, Jan had been caught up in the agony and then the joy. Besides, if s
he’d pulled a stunt like texting, her mother—who’d served as her labor coach—would have snatched the phone out of her hand.
“A few.”
“You don’t object?”
“They’re not supposed to use cell phones.” Zack shrugged. “But it does take their minds off the pain.”
“And pulls them out of the experience of their lives,” Jan noted.
Caroline sat listening avidly. A pretty young woman in her twenties with skin a shade darker than Berry’s and shoulder-length black hair, she’d worked for a while in Dr. Tartikoff’s office. A personality mismatch if there ever was one.
In front of her, Jan didn’t dare say another word about anything personal. “I have to go. Melissa Everhart and I are driving to the Rowland Hacienda Egg Bank. The director offered to discuss their program and share their protocols with us.” The location was about an hour’s drive inland.
“They don’t see us as competition?” Zack asked. “I should think they’d be careful how much information they share.”
“We won’t compete for donors, since most of their clientele is Asian.” A large Chinese community lived in the east L.A. County area. “Also, don’t forget that egg banks cooperate when recipients request hard-to-find blood types and genetic backgrounds. The more donors we identify, the better we can all serve our clients.”
“Oh!” Caroline gave a start. “I meant to tell you. Melissa went home sick. She said she must have eaten a bad breakfast burrito.”
“Is she all right?” The IVF coordinator was single, and Jan couldn’t recall whether she lived alone. “I should check on her.”
“One of the volunteers, Renée Green, drove her home and offered to stay with her awhile,” Caroline said. “Do you want me to call and see how she’s doing?”
“Yes, please.” What a disappointment. Jan had looked forward to touring the facility with Melissa and sharing her input afterward. Having a second set of trained eyes and ears was invaluable. “I wish I could postpone the visit, but I can’t do that at the last minute.”
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