by A. Marie
“I'm sorry and this shit won't happen again I promise you,” Marcus said with sympathy.
“Something is wrong with you, I can't stay with you Marcus,” she said sniffing as she tried to move his hand.
Marcus forced his hand back to her stomach rubbing and still pleading. He climbed off the bed while making Leah sit up and face him. He kneeled in front of her as he held her arms and stared at her. She could barely look at him, instead of staring back she looked off to the side. Tears slid down her face freely. He turned her face back towards him.
“Leah please give me one more chance, I promise to never do this shit again.”
“Who was she?” Leah finally asked, ignoring his plea.
Marcus dropped his head. To let it be known that it was Chrissy that he was still messing with would hurt Leah. He knew that for sure.
“Who was she, Marcus?” Leah asked again this time with tears falling.
Leah knew it was Chrissy, she just knew. He couldn’t seem to leave the girl alone. Their fights and arguments always revolved around her. Leah started to wonder if he was torn between the two. Chrissy had been around just as long as she had, and Leah felt like she was in competition with the girl. Knowing it was her, Leah still wanted to hear it from his mouth. She was hoping that maybe, just maybe she was wrong. She honestly preferred for it to be a new bitch than for it to be Chrissy’s dirty ass.
“If I tell you,” he paused for a minute. Marcus didn’t want to go further with admitting the truth. He knew that Leah would probably get up and try to leave again if he exposed it.
“If you what?” she said.
“Leah you won’t stay if I tell you, I know you won't.”
“I'm not going to stay if you don't tell me the truth, now who was she?” Leah shot back.
“It was Chrissy,” he replied in a low tone.
Even though she knew all along, just hearing it caused her to double over as she cried. The realization that it was Chrissy gutted Leah. Her chest tightened as if someone was squeezing her on the inside.
“You just can't leave that bitch alone can you?” She asked.
“Yeah, I can. She doesn't mean shit to me. She kept pitching that shit at me and last night I caught it. I was drunk Leah and when I got home after leaving Nu house I was horny as fuck and wasn’t going to bed with a hard dick.”
Leah gave him a look of disgust. Marcus was a dawg. Leah now understood why NuNu couldn’t stand him. Shit, she was getting to a point where she couldn’t stand him either. Leah’s emotions were all over the place. This pregnancy had her both loving and hating him, all at the same time. Why couldn’t he get this right? It was supposed to be just as simple as the song she used to sing when she was little. That first comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes a baby in a baby carriage type shit. Except the song would be going out of order in their situation.
“You one dawg ass nigga and I can’t believe I’m having a baby by your ass,” she spat with malice laced in her tone.
The statement had injured him, he felt as if she had just slapped him. Marcus wanted to respond but he bit into his bottom lip, opting to keep quiet. He wondered if she truly meant what she had just said. Marcus hoped that she didn’t. He loved her and wanted his baby with her. From the moment he saw her, he knew that she would be the one to have all his kids. Leah had a pull on him so strong that he was scared if she let go, he would fall face first. He didn’t want that. Marcus didn’t want to know what life would be like without her. He needed to find some type of self-discipline and finally leave Chrissy alone. It’s just something about Chrissy though, he thought. Reality hit him that he was torn between the two girls. He was in love with Leah, but Chrissy gave him a different feeling. She was willing to do whatever, whenever. However, Leah came with standards and wasn’t willing to put up with him having this girl and that girl. She wanted him to be all hers and giving him a concubine would never be something she would allow.
“Mama,” Marcus said.
“Don't call me that shit,” she shouted.
He ignored her.
“Mama please stay. I can't be without you and I want to be with you and my baby,” he said as he held his head down in shame.
Leah sighed, deep and long.
“You got one more time to put your hands on me or me catch you with another bitch and I promise it's over.”
Marcus leaned up and kissed her softly. He vowed to himself to get this right. He didn’t want to know what it would be like to not be with her. She was precious to him and was the only girl he ever loved. Yeah, Chrissy had been around, but he didn’t love her. She was the one that he knew he could smoke with and fuck when he needed it. Leah provided something much different. She was smart and wanted to do better for herself and the people around her. They had spent countless nights talking about her dreams. Marcus admired her for the woman she wanted to become. The woman she was determined to become.
“Can you go get me food?” She asked as she laid down.
Marcus stood to his feet, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. He already knew what she wanted. Once Marcus left the room Leah cried a hard, ugly cry. She couldn't believe the things she was enduring. Putting up with all his bullshit because she wanted a family didn’t seem worth the pain he caused. That was it, she didn’t know her worth. She didn’t realize that having a family didn’t mean enduring physical trauma. Marcus was supposed to be her family, the one she felt safe with. Instead, she was scared and haunted. Leah closed her eyes as she rubbed her belly while whimpering until she fell asleep.
Chapter Sixteen
