by Lisa Cassidy
And on the heels of her impotent frustration came worry for her friends. They were going away into danger without her power there to protect them. Her stomach sank and she had to bite her lip and force a smile as Casovar left. As soon as he was gone, she turned and headed for the door, muttering something about needing air. None of them tried to stop her.
She couldn’t keep doing this. Not indefinitely.
Chapter 11
Outside it was mid-afternoon, a hot sun and still air shrouding the palace in a heavy listlessness. Alyx’s feet took her on a well-trodden path through the gardens, at first pounding in angry strides, then gradually slowing. Maybe it was the heat of the day, or the walk, but her anger began to fade, her thoughts instead turning to Casovar’s revelation.
He wasn’t sending them back to DarkSkull. They were potentially never going back to DarkSkull. Part of her thought this was the best news she’d ever gotten. No more Rothai or Romas, no more Mage Council. No tasteless breakfasts at dawn or tedious language classes.
Not having to leave home again.
It was always going to be this, after all. Eventually she and the twins were going to be back in Alistriem, trained mages and working for Casovar and the king. Only this way it would be Casovar completing their training, not DarkSkull. That fact would infuriate the council, of course, but that hardly bothered Alyx—in fact it gave her a spark of amused satisfaction.
But that meant Casovar completing Alyx’s training. And there was the rub. She’d have to tell him what she was. Until the council learned who was behind the disappearing mages, being a mage of the higher order was an extremely dangerous thing to be. And to willingly reveal herself to someone who she wasn’t certain had her best interests at heart... no, it was too risky.
Her feet slowed further as she reached the garden leading to Cayr’s bedroom window, her troubled mind having taken her there without thinking. Guilt merged with a kind of panic at the thought of the conversation she would have to have with him when he returned. One good thing about going back to DarkSkull was that he would have time away from her after she... wincing, Alyx forced herself to finish the thought—after she hurt him badly. And wouldn’t she only be adding to the pain if she continued a relationship with Dashan in Alistriem, right in front of Cayr?
Shaking her head to try and dispel the confusion of her thoughts, Alyx turned around and headed back towards the mage offices. Hopefully Tarrick and the twins would be finished with their work and they could head into the city for a drink and a meal. A cold ale and the company of her friends seemed like the perfect antidote to the chaos in her head.
The rooms were empty of Mage Guard or anyone else, but the door to the garden stood ajar, and the faint murmur of voices trickled through in the sluggish afternoon air. Alyx followed the sounds, hoping she wasn’t about to run into Dunnat and his men taking an afternoon break.
Instead she came upon Tarrick and the twins. Finn and Dawn stood opposite each
other, voices low but clearly engaged in an argument. Tarrick watched, a concerned frown on his face.
“I don’t know why you’re both making such a big deal of this.” Finn’s long-suffering tone indicated he’d made this point several times. “So he’s unlikeable and rude. He’s also a mage of the higher order charged with the defence of Rionn. That happens to be our job too. What did you think we were signing up for when we went to DarkSkull?”
“You’re being as literal as always.” Dawn’s voice bled matching frustration. “What are you going to do when he sends us out to harass some innocent jeweller in the poor quarter? You really think a man who encourages behaviour like that is someone we should be following?”
“What are our options?” Finn challenged. “Leave here and sign up to work for the Mage Council? No, I didn’t think so. Quit being mages? After everything we accomplished and learned at DarkSkull you want to give up now?”
“I’m not suggesting we—”
“Is everything all right?” Alyx cut over Dawn’s furious rejoinder, hoping to end the argument.
All three pairs of eyes snapped to her. Dawn’s were smoky with anger, Finn’s determined, Tarrick unsure.
Finn huffed a laugh. “Tell me, Alyx, are you thrilled at this development because it means you never have to step foot in DarkSkull or deal with the Mage Council again, or are you horrified because your noble blood can’t bear the thought of bowing down to Casovar?”
“A mix of both actually,” she said mildly, refusing to allow him to bait her. “What’s got you so riled up?”
“I’m so sick of pretending that being mages is going to consist of being pure and righteous and morally right all the time. It’s not. The Mage Council is corrupt and far too concerned with holding onto its power. Casovar is just as hungry for power and arrogant and cold along with it. We have to work with one of them, and that’s going to mean doing things we don’t like.”
Alyx stared, completely taken aback by the passion in his voice. She’d been unaware how deeply he felt about this. Nobody seemed to know how to respond, and the tense silence was thankfully broken by the appearance of Dashan.
“This is where the party’s at, huh?” he said cheerfully. “Not the location I’d pick.”
She couldn’t help her smile at the sight of him. “What brings you here?”
“If you cast your minds back to last night’s conversation, we agreed I would meet you all here after my shift ended so we could go out for a drink...” Some of the laughter in his face faded as he took in the scene. “Did someone die?”
“No. We got some interesting news from Lord-Mage Casovar,” Alyx responded when no one else did.
Dashan opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, but then shook his head. “This isn’t the best place to talk. Come on, let’s get a drink and you can fill me in.”
They filed back inside to find Dunnat had returned. He was standing over the map table, pointing out something to another one of his soldiers. He looked up at their entrance, face tightening in dislike.
“Captain!” Dashan lifted his hand in a jaunty wave.
“Lieutenant.” Dunnat’s face tightened further.
“Good to see you as always.” Dashan’s smile widened as he opened the door to let the others out. “We should do this again sometime. What do you think, some jugs? I hear the Foxhole is popular with you red-cloaked lot. It’s a little... well... cheap for our tastes, but don’t let it be said we Blue Guard can’t get down in the gutter with our comrades every now and then.”
“Get out of here, Lieutenant, before I do something you’ll regret.”
“Oh, Captain, we both know I’d take you in under ten seconds. Best keep that pretty sword of yours where it belongs, inside its pretty sheath.”
Dashan smoothly swung the door shut as Alyx was the last to pass him, and an instant later all four of them were erupting into poorly-concealed giggles. For a precious few moments their shared mirth dispelled the tension that had enveloped them.
As the laughter finally died and they reached the palace gates, heading out and down into the city, Alyx tugged on Dashan’s arm. “Nicely done.”
He winked. “Any time, mage-girl.”
“I’m sorry for getting so worked up.” Finn muttered the apology before taking a long swallow of his ale. He’d sat stewing in silence while the other three filled Dashan in on the meeting with Casovar.
“I see the truth in what you’re saying,” Dawn said. “I struggle with it, that’s all. I’m not convinced that Casovar is entirely on the right side of this. What about what the Mage Guard is doing? A man that allows his soldiers to behave like they do isn’t to be trusted. And he lied today—when Tarrick asked him whether he knew anything about the new Shiven commander, he lied.”
Alyx straightened in surprise.
“I thought you said his mental shield was seamless?” Finn said.
“It is. I didn’t pick up his thoughts, only a whisper of emotion behind them.
It’s hard
to be certain, but he was momentarily uncomfortable,” Dawn said.
“Maybe he was just upset that he doesn’t have more detailed information?” Finn raised an eyebrow.
She scowled. “Fine. Yes, or maybe he had a sudden pressing need to use the privy.”
Dashan snickered. Alyx shot a glare at him. The amusement on his face deepened.
“While I wholeheartedly agree with you Dawn, Finn is right, we can’t disobey Casovar when he is so important to Rionn’s security,” Alyx said regretfully. “Particularly if he’s right about the Shiven’s invasion plans.”
“What about the Mage Guard?” she pressed.
There was a moment of silence, nobody really sure how to answer her. Impotent anger continued to surge through Alyx whenever she thought about them hurting innocent citizens, and Cayr’s sudden departure meant his promised review was on hold indefinitely. There was hope Brynn might come up with something, but she couldn’t tell them about him.
“She’s right,” Dashan said. “If we do nothing about it, pretend nothing is wrong, we’re as bad as they are.”
“I’m not sure what we can do.” Alyx sighed. “I’ve spoken to both Cayr and my father. But until we come up with something, we should continue to question whatever Casovar has us doing. And Tarrick, you should go back to DarkSkull. You need to finish your training.”
He didn’t reply immediately, contemplating the ale before him. He was torn. Becoming a warrior mage was what he wanted more than anything else, and by not going back to DarkSkull, he would be delaying that indefinitely.
“There is one way we could all go back,” he suggested eventually. “We could choose to work for the council rather than your king.”
“I will never work for the council,” Alyx said with quiet finality. Neither of the twins gainsaid her.
He nodded, unsurprised. “Then I stay. Your protection is more important to me than anything, and it’s not just because you’re a mage of the higher order.”
Tears pricked her eyes. Surely she didn’t deserve friendship like that?
“You’re not the only one who’s learned what real friendship is,” Dawn spoke into her mind.
Alyx swallowed and gave her friend a grateful look before turning back to him. “Tarrick, you continue to sacrifice what you want and what you believe in for me. It’s time to stop. Your mage training is too important. I have protection already, not the least of which is another mage of the higher order. I would miss you terribly, but I want you to do what’s right for you for once.”
“You would be better protection for Alyx if you were fully trained,” Finn pointed out. “After your trials you could come back here if it’s what you still wanted.”
Tarrick’s face tightened. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you all here with Casovar, not yet. Dawn has a point about him.”
“We’re about to leave Alyx behind in the city,” Finn said. “There’s not much protecting you can do from the disputed area.”
For a moment he didn’t reply, the truth of Finn’s words resonating into the silence. Tarrick’s shoulders sagged, and he gave a little shake of his head. “The truth is, I don’t know what I want. Since I can remember, I wanted to grow up and be like my brothers, a powerful warrior mage. Only I was going to work for the council rather than the emperor, establish myself, maybe one day even be on the council. Make my family proud.” His voice trailed off. Alyx had never heard such raw emotion from Tarrick, and judging from the silence at the table, none of the others had either. “You’re all my friends, and so I want to stay with you. It feels right. But I don’t know if I’m ready to let go of my dream yet.”
When he glanced up and saw them all staring raptly at him, he instantly stiffened, a hard expression closing down the openness that had been there. Recognising the depth of his discomfort, Alyx changed the subject.
“The bigger question is what to do about me?” She lowered her voice. “Casovar can’t train me if he doesn’t know what I am.”
“He should be told,” Finn said bluntly, earning a dark look from Tarrick. “If a bunch of murderous, corrupt council members know she’s a mage of the higher order, why shouldn’t Casovar know?”
“Will you keep your voice down!” Tarrick hissed.
“Sorry.” Finn raised his hands in the air. “You know I’m right.”
“I’m uneasy at the idea,” Dawn admitted, giving her brother an apologetic look. “Something about Casovar makes me reluctant to tell him any more than he needs to know.”
“While I appreciate you all looking out for me,” Alyx interjected dryly. “It is my decision to make.”
“What will you do?” Dashan asked, eyes dark as he regarded her.
“Wait a little longer,” she said, raising a hand as Finn opened his mouth. “Your time in the disputed area will give you a better understanding of what he’s up to, how he’s going to use us. And while you’re away, I’ll make more of an effort here to work with him. I’ll also do what I can about the Mage Guard. Once you return, we’ll make the final decision together.”
“The time will give us an opportunity to think about what we really want, as well,” Dawn said thoughtfully, and although she was looking at Tarrick, her gaze seemed far away.
“For what it’s worth, I agree with Alyx and Tarrick,” Dashan offered. “We need to learn more before making any firm decisions.”
Tarrick’s smile flashed. “We?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged slightly, glancing around the table. “We’re a team, right?”
“Right.” Alyx smiled across the table at him, warmed by the light in his brown eyes. He grinned back.
Conversation segued to Dashan’s recent sailing trip, and news of the goings on amongst the Blue Guard. Alyx leaned towards Dawn and deliberately lowered her voice.
“How are you doing? I mean, I know this isn’t just about Casovar for you. Not going back to DarkSkull means not seeing Rickin again anytime soon.”
Dawn sighed. “I’m trying not to think about it too much. I miss him, and I looked forward to seeing him again, but it’s not like we had a serious relationship.”
“You could write to him?” Alyx suggested. “I’m sure Dashan wouldn’t mind getting a letter to Captain Rodin—I know they agreed to stay in touch.”
Dawn’s face lit up. “That would be wonderful, thank you! Being able to explain why I’m not coming back would ease my mind.”
“Good.” Alyx smiled and leaned back. “Write the letter and I’ll make sure Dash sends it.”
A short while later, Alyx rose, claiming tiredness and stating she planned to go home for an early night.
“Sure, I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.” Tarrick smiled.
“You’ll come and farewell us at the docks?” Finn asked hopefully, all his earlier anger seemingly gone, or at the very least smothered by several glasses of ale.
“I’ll be there,” she promised.
“I’m on duty tonight, so I’ll walk you halfway.” Dashan rose too, grabbing his jacket.
Alyx caught Finn’s knowing look and summoned enough magic to spear a thought into his head strongly enough to make him wince. “Finn, we are friends, but some things are private.”
He looked towards her, slightly shamefaced, and nodded. “Night, Alyx.”
Once they were well clear of the inn, Dashan caught her hand and she leaned in to his side. “How does a night-time sailing trip sound?” he asked. “I promise to get you back early enough to sleep before tomorrow.”
She smiled at the thought of having him all to herself, just the two of them for a few hours—those moments were so rare and precious—but then heaved a regretful sigh. “It sounds wonderful, but I have a meeting.”
“With who?” He frowned.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you—Brynn is here. The council has assigned him to Alistriem.”
“I thought we were going to spend some time together?” He eyed her with amused impatience.
“We are.” She grinned
up at him. “We’re going to spend time together at a meeting.”
He scowled, but it was half-hearted. “Where are we going then?”
“The Cuttlefish Inn. I assume you’ve heard of it?”
“I dislike your tone, young lady.” He sniffed. “I am not aware of every single drinking establishment in Alistriem.”
“So you don’t know it?”
“Well… ”
Alyx laughed. “Sot.”
“Snob,” he shot back.
She chuckled and he dropped her hand, wrapping his arm around her shoulders instead and pulling her closer. Alyx pondered on the delightful strangeness of it as they walked; as much as she’d grown and changed in the past year, she was still very young when it came to men and courting. And Dashan was no boy, he was a grown man who’d had plenty of women in his bed before. She wondered how much he would want from her, and how soon.
“What’s troubling you?” His voice broke through her thoughts.
“Nothing.”
“You’ve got your thinking face on.” He stopped them near the inn’s entrance. “Talk to me.”
“I’m not troubled,” she explained. “I was thinking about us, and well... how different we are... in our experience.”
It didn’t take Dashan long to work out exactly what she was talking about, and when he did, he grinned openly. “Alyx, we’ve only been – whatever we are now – for a week. I’m hardly planning to push you up against that wall there and ravish you in full view of the public.”
“I know that.” She scowled at him.
“Hey.” He caught her hand, turning serious. “I’m not looking for anything more than you’re willing to give. I’ll wait until you’re ready. It doesn’t matter to me how long that takes.”
“I trust you,” she told him. “I honestly was just thinking things over.”
“Good.” He leaned closer, his breath hot in her ear. “However, I am very much looking forward to the day when I can ravish you at a place of your choosing.”
Alyx’s heart thudded and she flushed hotly from head to toe. Dashan brushed his lips against her cheek, his grin telling her he knew exactly what effect he had on her.
