I whimper in response as another few traitor tears slip down my cheeks. I slowly shake my head. I can't tell him.
"Why not?" he demands again. My knees shake from the intensity of his words. "Why can't you tell me why you left? Why can't you tell me why you ran out of here crying? Why can't you tell me! Why!" He's screaming by the end of it and this time, I drop to my knees. They give in.
I've never heard someone speak so fiercely, not even Damon, and it was all directed to me. Fear strikes me hard and all I can wish for is that he won't hit me, or worse...
I stare at Axel's shoes and release a sob. "I don't want to hurt you," I choke out as another sob escapes me.
Next thing I know, one of the chairs in front of Axel's desk goes flying across the room, smashing into the wall, and breaking it into tiny bits. I whimper and bite my lip, trying not to release another sob.
"Hurt me?! You’re telling me, that you won't tell me why you left because you don't want to hurt me?" He screams again. I just merely nod, silent tears running down my face as I continue to bite my lip so hard that I split it and it starts to bleed. "You should've thought about not hurting me before you ran out of here," he whispers, a big downturn from his screaming.
"P-please, I n-never meant to h-hurt you," I choke through my sobs. He makes no move to acknowledge me. "Y-you don't k-know what I've b-been t-through," I whisper before I break down into sobs at his feet. He doesn't know though, and with the way we're going, I don't think he'll ever know.
He doesn't move. He doesn't comfort me. He doesn't care.
"I just can't look at you right now," he whispers before leaving me in a crying heap. Seconds later, the door bursts open and I'm engulfed in a hug by none other than Comrade.
"Shh, Snow, shh. Everything's gonna be ok, calm down. Shh," he soothes while rocking me in his lap.
I cry into his lap for who knows how long. My mate, the one who's supposed to love, care and comfort me, walked out and left me. He just walked out.
When I have no more tears, I lift my head from Comrade's shoulder. I look into his pain-filled eyes and suddenly wish that he is my mate instead of Axel. Comrade's sweet, caring and is actually here for me when I'm crying. Why can't Axel be like him?
"I'm sorry," I mumble into his now wet shoulder. He must think I'm the weakest and most stupid wolf of the century.
He surprises me by laughing lightly. "For what, Snow?" he asks, stroking my hair tenderly.
I lift my head up and look at him. He's so handsome. Brown hair, almost black eyes, tanned skin, and he's my age. He's normal.
"For wetting your shirt," I say sheepishly. He smiles at me.
"No problem, Snow. It's only water after all," he tells me, pushing my head back into his shoulder gently. He continues to rock me soothingly while humming in my ear and stroking my hair, when something occurs to me. Snow?
"Did you just call me Snow?" I mumble into his shoulder. I feel them vibrate from his silent laughter and I lightly slap his stomach, my head still tucked away in his shoulder. "I'm serious."
He sighs. "Yeah, I did. I think it suits you, with your white coat and all. I also think that your black hair, red lips, and pale skin remind me of Snow White. All you need now is the bright blue eyes," he jokes, making me laugh lightly as my eyes start to get droopy.
"Tired?" he asks and I hum in response. I start to doze off as he continues to rock me. Maybe staying here won't be so bad if Comrade's here with me, I think before I fall into a blissful sleep. Something I haven't done for a long time.
4
CELINA
As I run through the park in my seven-year-old self, I squeal in delight. Daddy's chasing me and mummy's laughing at us.
"Rah!" Roars daddy.
"Ahh!" I squeal in return. Soon mummy joins in and we all drop to the floor in exhaustion.
We stare up into the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight, and soak up the glorious sun's rays. I close my eyes for a few brief seconds, only to open them and see that I'm in a dark room. I look around and notice that the room's bare. Where has the park gone?
The door in front of me gingerly squeaks open, and in steps alpha Damon. I bow my head in respect. Next thing I know, I'm being thrown across the room into the opposite wall. I slump down and groan in pain. Then I dare to ask the question, "Where's my mummy and daddy?"
Damon's face breaks out into a wicked smirk, while I sprout a frown, as he slowly makes his way toward me. I cower back as he squats down in front of me.
"Mummy and daddy..." He pauses for a second, making suspense on what he's about to say next. "…are dead."
I bolt upright and scream bloody murder. Beads of sweat cover my forehead, my hands are shaking, my heart is racing way too fast, and my cheeks are wet from the tears I don't even know I've shed.
I hug my knees to my chest and cry. I haven't had that dream in years. That dream is the exact replica of how I found out my parents died. I didn't leave that room for a week. No food. No water. Nothing. I didn't know back then that it was part of my torture. I cried for weeks after that. I loved my mother and father so much; I can't even bear the thought of losing them.
I cry harder at the thought. The problem is, I've already lost them.
Seconds after my outburst, my door slams open. I don't look up from my knees, too scared for someone to see me like this.
Moments later, I'm engulfed in a hug and rested in the person's lap. "Shh, Snow, shh. Everything's ok, I'm here. Shh, calm down. Come on, deep breaths." Comrade's soothing words ripple through me and minutes later I actually calm down. I guess he has that effect on me.
We just sit there on my bed, me still in his lap, not saying anything, but I'm shaking slightly.
What can you say when a person you've known for two days comes in and hugs you after you've just had a nightmare that you haven't had in years? See, it's a bit hard. What would you say? Thanks?
Comrade pulls back from me to look at my face. It's probably red, puffy and tear stained.
"Oh, Snow..." he whispers, using my nickname. “What happened to you?"
He wipes the remainder of my tears away while gazing into my eyes. I'm not sure if he's asking about my face or my past...
I answer back in a whisper anyway. "Something that you can never even begin to imagine."
Comrade stares at me for a second until he nods his head, accepting my answer.
I lay my head on his chest and that's when I take in my surroundings. I'm in a fairly large room that have the walls painted a blinding white and has a carpet that's a midnight black. It has a gray dresser off to one side, a walk in closet next to it, and another door that's adjacent to the actual bedroom door. I'm guessing that's the bathroom. The king-sized bed I'm lying on is decorated with gray pillows, white sheets and a black comforter. The bed is opposite the bedroom door. The wall which the bed is backed up against is pretty much a big window, but has the exception of a wall for the bed to rest against. All in all, the room is a mixture of blacks, whites and grays. I must say, it's pretty well designed.
"What's with this place?" I curiously ask Comrade. He stares at me confused and I stare back at him expectantly.
"What do you mean?" He finally asks, voice full of confusion, and trying to understand me.
"You know, how everything in this house is either black, white or gray? Sometimes red? I mean, pretty much all the walls I've seen are white, the tiles that go through the whole house are black, you got some gray and red here and there, and now there's this room that doesn't even have a splash of color! Look at it! There's not even red in here!" I cry, horrified. Sure, when I was with my old pack I never had color, but my old pack decorated beautifully with all the colors of the rainbow. Excuse the baby talk... They can at least put some effort in it.
Understanding dawns on Comrade's face after my little explanation. He shakes his head, making his brown hair fall into his eyes slightly, and he chuckles.
"Oh, Snow... You'll know in good time," he says mysteriously with
a knowing glint in his eyes. I stare at him confused. All I asked was why is everything so plain, why do I have to wait for that answer?
I wonder if Axel will tell me... No! Don't even go there! 'Go there, go there!' My wolf screams at me. 'Ask where he is!' I hesitate for a second, do I want to know where he is? Or is it just my wolf? 'Now!' She screams when I don't talk. Maybe I should, I mean he could answer my question and now that he's in my head, I won't be able to stop thinking of him.
I sigh. Might as well make my wolf happy. "Comrade...” I start, a little nervous.
"Yes?" he asks, amused at my obvious nervousness. Stupid boy...
"Do you know where alpha Axel is?" I rush out. Disappointment crosses Comrade’s face before he puts on a fake smile.
Gosh, I've known this guy for what? Two or three days and I can already tell if he's doing a fake smile or a real one? Wow, this place is having an effect on me. I think I've made a friend for life though, something I've never had before.
"Yeah, he's in his office. He should be in here in a few minutes," he mutters in a small voice. Wait a second, in here? What does that mean? That he forgives me for running away or something? My wolf yips in joy, but I feel sick to the stomach. Does that mean he'll want me? Because I don't know if I want him. 'Of course you want him! Who wouldn't? I can feel his wolf now.' My wolf sighs dreamily. Wow, she is so bipolar.
If I do accept him, does that mean we'll have to... to mate? Oh god! I can't handle that. I start to hyperventilate and shake a bit more violently.
"Snow? Snow, are you ok? What's wrong?" I vaguely hear Comrade speak before I jump up and sprint to the bathroom. I head straight to the toilet and puke my guts out.
I feel my hair being pulled back and silently thank that it's Comrade and no one else. This is so embarrassing! I can’t believe I'm that scared of an alpha mate that I'm puking. What's wrong with me?
I finish up and flush the toilet. Well, that was disgusting...
"You ok?" A very concerned Comrade asks when I slump on the cool tiled wall of the bathroom. I close my eyes and nod my head. He brushes away the excess hair in my face and slowly lifts me up bridal style. He places me back on the bed and kisses my forehead.
"I gotta go. The alpha will be here soon and I don't want to be caught with his mate. He'll rip me to shreds!" He jokes lightly. I smile weakly at him.
"Thanks, Comrade. I think the only reason I'll like it here is because of you," I mutter to him and he laughs.
"Thanks. I'll be sure to not let that one slip. I don't think the pack will appreciate it," he jokes again and lets me have a laugh before he leaves. Leaving me all alone.
I get up off the bed and make my way to the window. There's no balcony so this must be the third level of the pack house. The view is beautiful. It’s a forest as far as the eye can see and a gorgeous blue sky with the few odd clouds above.
I sigh. I wonder what's going on at my old pack right now. Are they starving? After all, not many of them can cook. I wonder if the pack house is a mess. I smile slightly. I can just imagine Damon wearing an apron and holding a duster. That is a sight I will pay much to see.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" A deep voice says behind me, making me jump. I spin around and slightly relax knowing that it's just Axel. Why am I relaxing around him?
I turn back to the window before answering. "It is. I'll never get sick of this view. Some people just take the beautiful things for granted."
He doesn't answer for a while and I think he's left. That's until I feel a set of very large and very warm hands rest on my waist. I jump at first and stiffen on the spot.
I hear Axel sigh. "You need to relax. I won't hurt you," he whispers before placing a lingering kiss behind my ear, making me shiver. Oh god, I can't handle this.
I step out of his hold and slump against the wall, putting my head in my hands so I can't see his hurt face. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I just... I can't do this right now," I say into my hands. I fight back the tears that are threatening to break loose and take calming breaths. This is going to tear humans apart.
"What can't you do? I don't understand. First you try to run away from me, now you say you can't do this? What can't you do? What? Please, talk to me," he begs.
I nod my head and take another deep breath. Here it goes, complete honesty. I gulp and answer.
"I have trust issues, Axel. I don't just let people in. I just don't think the world is perfect and dandy. I don't just think that a mate will make me happy." I bite my lip hard to keep the tears from falling. "I can't cope with a relationship right now. I can't cope with anything. I don't know what to think. I've rocked up at this place and found someone else who's like me, who's different. It even turns out they're my mate, you're my mate. Just give me time and I'll let you in. Just please, don't come on to me and think I'll let you mate with me straight away because I won't. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry you got me as a mate. You deserve better. This pack deserves a better Luna than me. I'm a disgrace to all werewolf kind."
With absolutely no warning, I'm being thrown on the bed with a furious-looking Axel on top of me. I whimper and shrink into the covers, closing my eyes. He growls at me and I start to wriggle. His whole body is pressed against mine and I can feel every inch of him, especially his very noticeable erection. I continue to wriggle when he suddenly moans and buries his face in my neck, making me freeze. What did I do?
"If I were you, I would stop wriggling so that you're not rubbing against my very excited member," he mumbles into my neck. I shiver at the feel of his breath on my exposed neck. After all, I'm still in that white dress he gave me.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to him, still slightly scared, and he groans.
"Please don't be scared of me. I won't hurt you, I promise," he mutters before starting to nibble my ear lobe.
I don't talk anymore and focus on the feeling of his body against mine. If I'm gonna get through having a mate, then I've got to let him in, don't I?
He slowly moves from my ear lobe down to my neck with light feathery kisses. I bite my lip and will myself to focus on the feel of Axel's touch and not on how much I want to sprint out of the room screaming like a mad woman.
Come on, focus on the tingles and sparks, come on!
He travels with his hands down my body to my hips and grips them softly.
"Relax, Celina," he whispers while nibbling my collar bone.
He's gonna hate me for the next words that will come out of my mouth. I take a deep breath and whisper, "I can't."
He immediately stops, and lifts all of his weight off me and off the bed. I sit up and hug my knees. My wolf's growling at me and howling for her mate in my head. I grip a pillow tightly and whimper at the amount of noise that is going through my head. Can't I ever catch a break?
A pair of hands takes my hands away from my head, and takes them in his. I open my eyes to see Axel kneeling down in front of me with a pained look on his face. "Wolf giving you trouble?" he quietly asks.
I nod and whimper again at the headache I feel coming on.
He sighs before placing a hand on my forehead while closing his eyes. His eyebrows scrunch together in concentration and, slowly, the pain subsides and I'm left feeling sleepy.
"Go to sleep, Celina. You've just had some energy drained out of you." I faintly hear Axel's voice say. I do exactly as he says, not even bothering to ponder on the fact that he just sucked energy straight out of me.
"Celina? Celina, you need to wake up to eat. Come on, sweetheart, wake up," the heavenly voice continues to say while lightly shaking me. I groan and roll over, hearing a chuckle soon after.
"Get up or have water poured over you," the voice threatens. I bolt upright at the voice's words and quickly jump out of the bed.
Standing there in all his glory, in new clothes and looking fresh, is Axel with an amused smile on his face. The sight of it makes me want to melt. Gosh, if this is after the first few days, what am I gonna be like in the next few weeks?
He's changed into
a pair of blue board-shorts and a plain black shirt. My god! I'm not sure if I'll last for a few weeks...
"How long have I been asleep?" I softly question, bowing my head and cupping one elbow with my hand. I hear a sigh come from Axel's direction
"A few hours. You took the energy drain a lot better than most wolves do. They would be out for days," he speaks with amusement and a light laugh. I stare at him in shock. Energy drain? What the...
"I'll explain that to you later though. Right now you need to eat," he concludes.
He walks into the closet and comes back out with a light blue skirt and a white sleeveless top. I stare at it for a second before looking at Axel. "Is that for me?" I mutter, walking up to the clothes and taking them delicately between my fingers. They're so soft...
"Of course they are! Who else would they be for?" he questions. Strangely, all sorts of conclusions for whose clothes these are start popping up in my head. Jealousy consumes me, but I push it away. I don't think Axel is that low. After all, he is about 20. He can't be a player, can he?
I just shrug as an answer for his question and head to the bathroom. It's beautiful with mixed black and white tiles on the walls and large white tiles on the floor. A big mirror sits on one wall and opposite to it is a shower that is absolutely massive! Next to the shower is a bath that could much resemble a spa. That's pretty much it... Oh! Also the toilet I puked in earlier. It also has a window sitting above the bath, and guessing from the sunlight, I'm pretty sure I slept through the night.
I quickly have a shower and change into the outfit that Axel picked out. I look into the mirror and examine myself. The skirt hugs my hips and flows down, ending about mid-thigh, too short for my liking honestly. The shirt also hugs my curves and shows a bit of cleavage, not too much to be slutty though. My hair is just sort of hanging, looking like a total mess.
I search through the cupboards trying to find a brush, but fail miserably. I huff and run my fingers through it a few times. I never really worry about my appearance before, but I never had to. I guess if I was woken up to eat at this hour, then I suppose I'm meeting part of the pack. This thought takes my mind into an alarmed state. I'm meeting the pack? I'm meeting the pack! I can't do this, not now. I'll just make up an excuse. Yeah, that works.
Unique, Different, Found: Werewolf Paranormal Romance (Nightfall Book 1) Page 4
