by Jacki Kelly
During the ride from the restaurant, she chatted like a nervous teenager while wringing her hands. He held her still by grabbing her arm. “Why are you so fidgety?”
“I was thinking about the incident at the concert with your ex-girlfriend. Does that kind of thing happen a lot with you?”
“No. And it shouldn’t matter. How many times will I need to tell you that?”
She placed her hands at her sides. “Until I get it.”
How long will that take?”
“Are you getting tired already? She stuck her neck out, but her tone was playful.
“I’ll say it ten more times. After that, I’m done.” He pulled into the garage at his house and put the car in park.
She shook her head in agreement, but her eyes revealed she was far from believing him.
The serious expression on her face let him know she was still processing his comment. Childlike innocence sparkled in her eyes and touched his heart. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Years of observing relationships had taught him they were fraught with complication. Something he wanted no part of. Hassle-free was the way he lived his life
At the condo, he held the door open. She made full-body contact as she brushed by him with a laugh.
“What’s funny?” He walked behind her, turning on the lights along the way.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Spending the night together again. Will this be another marathon weekend?” She unbuttoned her coat.
He pushed her coat off her shoulders and hung it in the entry closet along with his. “If that’s what you want.” He pinned her against the wall and lifted her chin. Her luscious mouth invited him to run his tongue over her full lips before slipping in. Every kiss felt like the first one. He caressed her right breast through her thick sweater and listened as she purred like a pleased kitten.
He tugged her sweater free of her jeans to slip his hand underneath. Touching her warm flesh stirred his desire. His erection pressed against his pants, straining the fabric. He released her breast and pulled her top up without releasing her mouth. He wanted to take his time and enjoy every minute with her. She wasn’t a beauty for the night just to warm his bed and then bid goodbye.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
He shook his head, not ready to find words to explain what was going on in his head. “How about a glass of wine?”
In the kitchen, he turned on the light, flooding the room with a bright glow.
“No. I don’t want wine. I had what I want back there in the entryway.” She positioned herself on the barstool and adjusted her sweater back in place.
“Let me get a glass of water.” He recognized what was happening. He sucked the air out of his stomach to push the overwhelming desire away. Lust was easier to deal with than love. Lust he understood, love was different. Love made you weak, his mother and sister were proof. Losing control wasn’t supposed to happen to him. Not now. Not with Dakota. Not ever.
He filled the glass from the faucet and took a swallow and then pushed the glass across the quartz counter to her.
Before taking a drink she stared at him, her large brown eyes filled with questions. This wasn’t the first time a woman tried to pin him down, the oppressive stench of commitment was in the air, hovering over him like a buzzard.
“Read me one of those letters. I’d like to hear one.”
“You’re kidding me, right? Now?”
“I’m serious. I shared my passion for music with you, now I want to know what you find so interesting about letters someone else has written.”
She reached on the back of her chair for her knapsack and pulled out a thin, well-worn paperback book.
“From the size of that book, there aren’t many letters.”
“This is just one volume. There are hundreds of them and if you keep getting smart with me, I’ll read them all to you.” She grinned.
“Okay, I’m teasing. Go ahead.” If letting her read the letter would take his mind off of their relationship, he could listen.
“Here’s a letter that Ludwig van Beethoven wrote in the 1800s, but no one knows who he wrote to, ‘My angel, my all, my very self—only a few words today and at that with your pencil—not ‘til tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon—what a useless waste of time. Why this deep sorrow where necessity speaks—can our love endure except through sacrifices—except through not demanding everything— can you change it that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine?’ Doesn’t that sound intriguing? Just listen to the way he started the letter.”
He nodded. “That’s pretty awesome. I’ll stick with nonfiction, but I can see why women might like that kind of thing.”
“Oh, you think love is just a woman thing?”
“You won’t find many men that like that kind of thing, now will you?”
With one hand she fanned the pages of the book. “All these letters were written by men. I have several more volumes at home. So the answer to your question would be, yes. If a man knows what he wants, then he might like this kind of thing.” She reached for the glass of water and drained the contents. She stood, scraping the stool legs against the floor.
He massaged between his brows with his thumb. Being a jerk to deflect the commitment conversation was despicable, but to treat Dakota this way was even more disgusting. She was always so open with her feelings, so he needed to step up his game. At times like this, it was easier to blame his parents for his aversion to relationships. Hiding behind his father’s infidelity was a thin sham. It was getting harder and harder to place his burden on his father’s shoulders.
Whenever a woman got close, he backed away. But the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Dakota.
“Nice place you have here.” She strolled over to the floorto-ceiling windows while admiring his oil paintings. “Why am I not surprised that you have nude paintings on your living room wall?” She spun around. Her eyes were dark and unreadable.
“You’re joking, right? Those pictures are gorgeous. This is fine art.” He waved at the canvases, glad the awkward moment had passed. She could have been the model in any one of the portraits on the wall. The soft curves of her butt and breasts made her perfect hourglass figure worthy of immortalizing
“And I suppose you have Playboy magazines stuffed under your mattress and you read them for the articles.”
A picture of her as a centerfold flashed across his mind, drawing an instant response from his gut. He grabbed her around the waist. “Let’s go see.” He picked her up and carried her down the hall towards the bedroom. The sound of her giggles as he walked to the end of hall was the only noise in the condo.
On the bed, she sat up to unbuckle his belt. “You’re getting undressed first this time.” She unzipped his pants and pushed them down his legs.
“No problem. I like a woman who knows what she wants.” He removed his remaining clothes one piece at a time until he stood before her naked. The way her eyes covered his body was both sexy and naughty. Her tongue darted over her lips, beckoning him forward.
“Perfect.” She didn’t hide the lust in her eyes as she looked him over.
He reached for her turtleneck and pulled it over her head. “Now it’s your turn.” After unhooking her bra, he cupped her full breasts, one in each hand. He kissed one nipple and her skin pebbled under his lips. He switched to the other breast with the same results.
Using the pads of her fingers, she kneaded his back, releasing the tension along his spine. The warmth from the closeness of her body mingled with his as he pulled her into his arms. A slow burn of desire started in the pit of his stomach. Blood rushed to his loins, waking every nerve. His engorged member sprung to life against her thigh. With his mouth partly open, he covered her lips. The only thing he could focus on was taking her in, her smell, her taste, her feel.
His raw emotions surfaced. He swallowed the urge to profess his feelings. History had taught him to ke
ep his mouth shut. One of two things would happen the minute he confessed anything. He’d get bored and want to move on, or she’d want a large diamond ring and a wedding date. It was better to say nothing. Whatever he was feeling wouldn’t last long enough to ruin this moment.
Without coaxing, she unbuttoned her jeans and stepped out of them. He ran his hands along her firm outer thighs. With her head thrown back, her long regal neck invited a kiss. He planted kisses along the column. A long, slow moan escaped her throat. It sounded like a plea for him.
He eased her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. Their mouths locked in a passionate kiss that made maintaining his control harder. Pleasing her had to come first, but she reached for his hardness and the connection sent his body into a heated frenzy. He ground his hips into her and she matched each of his movements. With his hand behind her head, he lifted it slightly to deepen the kiss. Their tongues locked in a wanton dance that pushed him beyond passion. Dakota had infiltrated the barrier that kept him distant from attachment. Every moment spent with her and her uncomplicated honesty chipped at this resolve. He wanted to surrender to her and enjoy the moment. They weren’t just making love, they were communicating in a way he never had before
“Let me get the condom.” He reached for the foil pack on the dresser next to the bed.
She kissed his chest, then worked her way lower, running her tongue around his belly button, and then she closed her mouth over the head of his shaft. Behind his closed eyelids, the sparkling lights were hard to shut out. Her tongue traced the rim, sending blood rushing to his already-stiff member. He held a fistful of her dark curls in his hand while trying to hold back the rush of ecstasy that threatened to pull him into the abyss.
“It you don’t stop right now, I don’t think I can hold back another second.” His voice was husky as he strained to contain himself.
“Let go.” She released him just enough to responded.
The heated sensation started where her mouth touched him and spread slow and steady over him like molten lava. He tightened his hold on her as his release forged through his body, pulling every hidden emotion from him as it ripped through him in a flash of multi-colored, blinding lights.
She slowly moved back up his body, kissing every raw nerve along the way. He flipped her on her back and climbed on top. She helped him sheath his erection. As soon as she pushed the latex into place, he buried his length inside her warm crevice. Her muscles tightened around him with the strength of a vice. If this time was supposed to be about her pleasure, she wasn’t making it easy for him. As he pushed deeper, she repeated his name. Her throaty enunciation faded with each thrust until she was only mumbling.
“Wrap your legs around my back,” he commanded.
She complied, drawing him in deeper. Each time he eased in and out of her, she moaned, her lips pressed against his neck. In the heat of the moment, she made him feel like nothing else mattered. She ran her hands over his head until their lips locked. She slipped her tongue in and out of his mouth in time with the movement of his shaft. With her hips off the bed, she held him in place until he was ready to explode. Nothing had ever been as perfect. They made love with precision. All the empty nights and bad dates seemed pointless. What he wanted and needed was in his arms. But something held him back.
“Bishop.”
“Yes, baby.”
“Now.” She tightened her legs, holding him in place while her body shook in succinct spasms that gripped him like a fist.
Before her body came to a stop, his body joined her in a brilliant explosion of rapture that he’d never experienced before. He collapsed on top of her and tried to catch his breath.
With her legs still cradling him, she released a breath that blew cool air across his shoulder. His body was covered in perspiration.
“That was amazing,” he managed after several seconds.
“I agree. You are amazing.”
He froze for a moment before rolling over next to her and closing his eyes. There it was. The tone that demanded his attention, saying she wanted more, without using those words. She poked him in the side with her finger.
“Ouch. What was that for?”
“Don’t get all quiet on me. I only called you amazing. Don’t worry. I’m not falling in love with you or anything like that.”
§§§
Dakota turned on her side to get a better view of Bishop. If he was that skittish over the word amazing, she needed to pull back. Falling in love with him would be so easy. Every time he touched her body, she couldn’t help but respond. The sincere look in his eyes when she spoke to him made her think she was the most important thing in his life. But that was what made him a playboy. He knew how to make women feel special even when they weren’t.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” She jabbed him in his side again to mask her humiliation. “If you don’t, I’ll make you listen to another letter. A longer one this time.”
He half smiled and half frowned, but his eyes did not meet hers. “No, don’t do that. I was hoping for something better than amazing.”
“You’re lying. You got quiet because you’re afraid I’m going to demand something from you, like a commitment, or that we become monogamous or elope.” She pushed up on her elbow to look down at him. “Believe me or not, I don’t want any of those things. Like you, I only want to have a good time.”
“Good to know. Now that we have an agreement, can we get back to doing amazing things?”
“Don’t blow me off, Bishop. If we’re going to hang out, we need to be honest with each other.” She sat up and blinked her eyes, hoping he wouldn’t detect the yearning on her face.
“Okay. Let me just say your pronouncement took me by surprise. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Surely you’ve been complimented on your bedside manner before.”
“Yeah. All the time. I just didn’t expect to hear it from you.” Without looking at her he used his index finger to circle her nipple. “Usually, after a few dates, women are ready for me to meet their parents.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” She held up her hands and flashed her palms at him. “See…no strings.”
By her calculation, this was about the time he would drop her off at her house and disappear. Maybe that’s what needed to happen now. Even if she didn’t say the words, she was falling for him. Hard. It would have been nice for their relationship to last a year, but if it had to end, now was better than later. She was one kiss from falling in love with him and that could be a fatal mistake. There were enough disasters in her past to last her for a while. No need to add Bishop onto that heap, too.
He climbed out of bed, heading toward the bathroom. A small sheen of moisture glistened between his shoulder blades. She followed his movement until he closed the door.
She took a deep breath. No matter what, she couldn’t clear her head of the image of him lying naked beside her. The look in his eyes pulling her deeper in a relationship she wasn’t even sure would last another month.
He strolled back in the room and clambered back into the bed.
“Are we okay?” He pulled her into his lap. With his arms draped around her, he cradled her with such tenderness that breaking away from him would take more than just willpower. She reached for the condom on the nightstand. After opening and rolling the latex down his aroused shaft, she pushed every nagging thought out of her head and allowed desire to rule for one more night.
§§§
The quiet serenity of the night erupted with a chirp. Dakota struggled to open her eyes, but the persistent sound shook the remnants of sleep away.
She nudged Bishop. “Your cell phone is ringing. Aren’t you going to answer it?”
“Huh?”
“Your cell phone,” she said.
He reached for it and stared at the screen. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Dakota sat up and turned on the light. Bad news always rang during the wee hours of t
he morning.
He huffed. “It’s Sharon.”
She rubbed her eyes as the name registered with her. “Sharon from earlier tonight?”
“How the hell did she get this number?” He shot her a benign look, climbed out of bed, and left the room.
From the living room, all she could hear was whispering. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t slow the thumping of her heart. Is this what life with Bishop would be like? Late-night calls, secret conversations, always wondering or worrying? She stood at the side of the bed, refusing to pace or to eavesdrop. Her knees almost forgot to support her, but she forced them to be strong. Something had to be strong tonight.
The waiting was always worse. It always would be. What was only a few seconds seemed like hours before he strolled back in the bedroom without the phone.
At the edge of the bed, he stood so close the heat from his body warmed her. Their eyes locked. She tried to read his thoughts, but his dark eyes revealed nothing. His breathing was smooth and regulated. While they were just supposed to be having fun and enjoying each other, her heart had skipped over the fence that should have kept her safe. She could be so happy with him, but she couldn’t share him. That was not the person she wanted to be.
He ran his tongue over his lips, but still said nothing. This was the closest he’d ever stood without touching her. The proximity sent a bolt of adrenaline through her like a rocket. She willed him to touch her flesh, but his hands remained unclenched at his side. His body was as still as the night.
“I think you better take me home.” She broke the spell that held them.
Instead of stepping aside, he pulled her against his chest, holding her in place with his arms around her waist.
“It won’t happen again.” His words didn’t give her the comfort she was sure he’d intended.
“Yes, it will. Late night calls and other women come with your territory.” She pushed him away and gathered her clothes.
