He sat down on the bed and patted the edge of it. ‘Lie down and let me see if a massage will loosen up your muscles.’
Where he’d expect to see gratitude on her features, he saw her eyes widen with alarm. Bullets of unease ricocheted through him. He hadn’t been wrong earlier when he’d thought something was disturbing her. Was she upset he hadn’t been home for dinner?
‘Luca, we need to talk.’ She took another step away from him.
Merda. ‘We are talking, cara.’ The more on edge she became, surely the more important it was for him to keep calm and let her talk through whatever was upsetting her.
‘I … This … Our marriage happened so quickly.’
He said nothing. He could say nothing because her words dropped into the room between them like an unexploded bomb and he didn’t know what to say to defuse it.
‘I think we rushed into this for the sake of a sick little girl whom we both love, but … We made a mistake.’
The bomb detonated. The explosion almost sent him rocking backward. It ripped apart his chest cavity and shrapnel flew in and pierced his exposed organs making it hard for him to function.
Everything in him went into denial.
Olivia had been happy this morning. What the hell had happened in the space of a day?
His voice, when it emerged, was hoarse with anguished disbelief. ‘You’re regretting our marriage?’
‘We married too quickly.’ He barely caught her clipped words because she spoke to the floor. ‘We didn’t know each other.’
Every syllable she uttered ramped up panic more intense than he’d ever known. Breathe, Luca.
‘We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other, Olivia. So far, I would’ve said our getting to know each other has been going very well. Are you telling me you feel differently?’
‘Yes.’
No! Cazzo! ‘What’s brought this on?’
‘Christiana has a donor. She’s going to be fine. I’d like to stay in Rome and be close at hand, but I don’t need to live here with you.’
He felt every sluggish beat of his heart as it started working again. ‘I thought you wanted to be her mother.’
‘I do. I did. I—’
‘What are you telling me, Olivia? You want to be her mother but you don’t want to be my wife?’
‘Christiana’s going to recover. You don’t need me anymore.’
He did need her. He needed her far more than he’d ever thought it would be possible to need anyone, and he wanted her, God damn it! He looked forward to coming home to her, talking to her, and making love to her. He loved seeing her grow in enthusiasm about her artwork, and felt satisfied he’d helped her find her confidence again in an area where she was so clearly talented. He loved seeing her with Christiana and could hardly wait for her to be the mother of their children—to be able to place his hands around her middle as she swelled with their baby and to see her cradle their infant to her breast.
But she was telling him she didn’t want the future he saw for them.
‘Give us a chance, Olivia.’ He had to ask but his pride wouldn’t allow him to beg. ‘I promised you I’d make you happy and I thought you were. If there’s anything more in my power to give you or to do for you, you have to let me know what it is.’
She looked sad as she shook her head. ‘I know the reason you married me, Luca. I told you at the time I didn’t believe we should be marrying without love.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess part of me was hoping love would grow but it hasn’t and I don’t believe it ever will.’
Madre de Dio.
‘I do love you,’ he wanted to shout.
He loved her.
He’d told himself he’d never allow himself to love again, yet love was the powerful emotion responsible for twisting his guts into knots at the thought of losing Olivia. Love was what had made him drive his staff at the office at a cracking pace each day since she’d come to Rome, so he could get home to her. Love was the element making their physical relationship so extraordinary.
But, as he was acknowledging how much he loved her, her words knifed him. She was telling him she’d hoped her love for him would grow but she didn’t believe it ever would. It wasn’t his lack of love it was hers.
Why? Why couldn’t she love him?
Luca struggled to control the acid bile that churned in his stomach and rose up to burn at his throat.
‘I’ll sleep in another room tonight,’ she told him without looking at him.
Cazzo, she was serious.
He wanted to deny her—wanted to demand she give him a list of complaints so he could set about fixing them. But, this wasn’t a corporation he needed to fix and no matter what he tried to do, he knew he couldn’t make her feel—couldn’t make her love him.
He’d failed.
Again.
‘What will you tell Christiana?’ he asked. That she could do this to him was soul-destroying, but … He voiced his thoughts. ‘She’ll be devastated.’
‘She has you and—’ her voice hitched, ‘—if you don’t mind Mum staying here, she’ll still have Mum living here too. I won’t be far away. I’ll make sure I vi …’ The word was lost as she gulped. ‘I’ll make sure I visit every day.’
The second he glimpsed Olivia’s features crumbling, he was off the edge of the bed and on his way to her. The shimmer of unshed tears was evident before she lowered her head to let the sweep of her hair hide her face.
‘Tesoro.’ The fingers of one of his hands cupped her chin and he tilted her head up, urging her to look at him. ‘Talk to me. Tell me what this is really all about. Tell me why you’re suddenly so upset when everything seemed fine this morning.’
She shook her head.
‘You tell me you want to leave and yet here you’re breaking apart at the thought of it.’
‘I … I don’t want to leave,’ she confessed on a half-hiccoughed sob. ‘I have to leave.’
There weren’t many times in his life Luca had felt at a loss, but this was right at the top of the list. Arms wrapping around her as they’d longed to do the second she’d walked into the room, he drew her close before letting one hand stroke soothingly down her spine.
Unable to help himself, he planted gentle kisses along her forehead. ‘Don’t leave, cara. As difficult as it will be, if you don’t want to live with me as my wife, I’ll accept it, but please don’t leave Christiana if you truly want to stay here with her. This is your home too.’
Her sobbing intensified and his helplessness grew.
He was Luca Borghetti, a CEO who provided solutions to corporate problems and a man who wielded power and commanded respect in the international business world, yet he had no solution to soothe his distressed wife.
‘Is it tearing you up to think of leaving Christiana?’ he probed.
Her head moved in a nod of agreement.
He eased her away a little from his chest and again cupped her chin with one hand so she’d look at him. ‘Piccola, please don’t cry. I can’t bear seeing you so upset. I hate to think you’re so unhappy because of this situation I’ve created. I truly wanted you to enjoy being my wife—I thought you were happy.’
‘I was happy.’ He only just made the words out as she sniffled loudly.
Dios! What had gone wrong? ‘Then, tell me. When did you become unhappy?’
‘When I realised …’
‘What, Olivia? What did you realise?’
‘When I realised you’d married me as a baby-making machine and you’d never love me the way I love you.’
What was she talking about?
He was about to ask when the second part of her declaration hit home.
Inferno! A burst of adrenaline shot through him. ‘You love me?’
‘I know you don’t want me to, I know you said—’
Luca bent his head and claimed her lips with his. It was a kiss of jubilation and soul-searing possession as he moved his mouth and loved the feel of her—loved the taste of this woman—his h
eart.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as they separated. ‘All this … passion … is wonderful, Luca, but it’s not enough without love.’
‘Cara, don’t you know it’s the love between us making this passion so fabulous?’
Her blue eyes widened a little, then she frowned at him.
‘I love you, Olivia.’
‘But you—’
He placed his index finger up to her lips. ‘Hear me out, cuore mia.’
Her eyebrows arched at the endearment and he laughed.
‘You are my heart, my darling—my sweetheart—my love. I’m going to have to improve my English to find all the ways to express how much you mean to me and I should’ve done it sooner. I can’t bear you walking away from me because I’ve come to love you and want you to be part of my life forever. It’s why I married you, Olivia. In our marriage vows, we pledged to be together until death do us part and I meant what I said.’
‘But … You never told me you loved me.’
He drew his head back and sent her a look of chastisement. ‘I believe you’re equally guilty, my heart.’
The flush spreading across her cheeks earned her his instant forgiveness.
‘I knew I couldn’t wait to be with you at the end of each day and see your smile of welcome as I came through the door,’ he confessed, ‘and I knew how much I wanted to make love to you—constantly, but I’ve held back from telling you because I didn’t know how you’d react.’
‘I’ve been waiting and longing for you to tell me.’
‘I told you once, bella. Once when you were falling asleep I whispered the words in your ear.’
‘I thought I was dreaming.’
‘I’m madly and completely in love with you, Olivia Borghetti.’
Her lips quivered into a smile and she threw her arms around his neck and cushioned her head against his chest as they hugged each other tightly.
‘If you love me half as much as I love you, tesoro, stay here with me always. Love me. Have my children. Grow old with me.’
She looked up at him, then slowly moved out of his arms and several steps away from him. A shadow crossed her features as she turned to face him and he saw he hadn’t yet banished all the pain from her heart.
‘Luca, did you choose me as your wife so you’d have a baby that’d be the closest possible match to Christiana’s DNA?’
It was a reluctant demand. He couldn’t tell whether she was disappointed she felt she had to ask or whether she felt she might be disappointed with his answer, but it reminded him about her baby-making machine comment.
‘I chose you as my wife because I fell in love with you. I loved you when I kissed you at the Spanish Steps.’
‘Surely not?’
‘Definitely. I think I started falling in love with you on the trip to Rome—when you told me all you’d been through and I grew to admire your strength and your family loyalty. Your vulnerability also reached me and I wanted to protect you from any future pain and help your past pains heal.’
‘Really? But …’ She frowned at him. ‘Luca, part of the reason I’ve been upset is because I found out you knew for days neither of us was a match for the bone marrow transplant and you didn’t tell us.’
He barely suppressed a groan. ‘You’re right,’ he confessed. ‘How did you find out?’
‘You first. Why didn’t you tell us?’
‘Because I was torn.’
‘Tell me,’ she insisted.
‘I told myself it was because it was almost your birthday and I didn’t want to spoil it, but I laboured over telling you for many reasons.’
She didn’t say anything, just willed him with her eyes to continue his confession.
‘I was deeply attracted to you, but I’d held off from acting on it because I knew, despite our truce, you didn’t fully trust me and I knew having a relationship with you would complicate things.’ He let out a long breath as he ran his palms down over his cheeks. ‘Perhaps, subconsciously, there was another reason I withheld the information.’
‘Go on.’
‘The doctor called me and suggested if you and I had a baby, the cord blood might be a match, or the baby itself might be a compatible bone marrow donor. His suggestion resonated with me, but, not for his reasons. He’d painted you as the mother of a child—my child—and with blinding clarity I saw you in the role. Not solely as the mother of my child, but as my wife and the mother of our children. I could see a future together for us. I didn’t even think the word “love” back then, but I knew it felt right and I wanted it to happen.’
‘So you set out to get me into bed and talk me into marriage.’
‘I’d held off acting on my attraction convinced I was doing the right thing for Christiana, but when I realised I wanted far more than a passing affair with you, I reasoned there was no reason to hold back any longer. At some level, I also thought I’d be doing Christiana a favour keeping you in Rome and that the cord blood from a pregnancy between us could save her life—that it might be a Plan B if a bone marrow donor couldn’t be found.’
‘You should’ve told me.’
‘Yes. But, if I’d told you about the results and the doctor’s suggestion I was afraid you’d think it was the reason I wanted to marry you.’
‘Instead, I thought you were marrying me to stay here in Rome for Christiana’s sake—and because we’d had great sex. I thought it was all quite convenient and it wasn’t enough. It was only when you told me you’d appreciate facing whatever ordeals Christiana faced with me by your side that I reconsidered my original refusal. I would’ve preferred a more romantic proposal.’
‘Yet, you married me.’
‘Because I loved you.’
He’d never get tired of hearing it. ‘So, when you said you’d hoped love would grow but now you knew it wouldn’t, you were referring to my feelings not your own?’
‘Yes.’
‘You’ll never know how much those words shattered me when I thought you were expressing your own feelings.’ He took a step towards her but she held her hands out, palms towards him to hold him off.
‘You promise me you never once entertained the idea our baby might be used as a marrow or organ donor somewhere down the track?’
‘I swear it.’ The words were resolute and he willed her to believe him. ‘Cord blood, yes, but never anything else. I realise I should’ve told you everything right from the start. I’m not perfect, Olivia, but I learn from my mistakes.’
***
Heavy weight had pressed down on Olivia’s shoulders but it lifted as she saw the absolute sincerity in his features.
‘I didn’t want to leave any of you.’ She’d been so confused—so torn—not knowing what to believe. Ultimately, her mother’s words had hit home and although Olivia hadn’t really known how to start the conversation, she’d had to give Luca a fair hearing. She’d also acknowledged she couldn’t walk away without telling him she was pregnant. Even if he hadn’t loved her, he deserved to learn the truth from her and not somebody else.
‘Mia cara, I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me. Waking up next to you each morning and falling asleep beside you each night makes me indescribably content. My heart and soul belong to you.’
‘I can hardly believe you love me. I knew you wanted to help heal my pain but I thought it was because you felt responsible for what your father did.’
‘You’re my beloved, not just a responsibility. Your pain is my pain. Your joy is my joy.’
He did love her. She could see it in his tense face and his strained shoulders. He would also love their child.
She blinked her tears away. ‘There’s another reason I was torn about leaving.’
He angled his head in question.
‘You asked me how I found out you knew about the test results days before you told us.’
He nodded while his gaze trained on hers.
‘I found out because the doctor mentioned it to me.’
‘He did? When? H
ow did he come to tell you?’
‘He told me today. Actually, he was congratulating me on my test results and telling me how wonderful it would be for Christiana to be able to access the cord blood of our baby.’
An expression of wonder crossed his face, softening the masculine angles as he looked from her eyes to her abdomen and back again. ‘You’re pregnant?’
‘Yes.’
The few steps between them were eaten up in two quick strides as Luca took her in his arms and kissed her deeply.
‘I’m thrilled.’ His joy turned to sorrow. ‘You were leaving because you thought I was going to make our child a donor for Christiana.’ It was a statement not a question.
‘I thought you’d manipulated me into our marriage and into falling pregnant. I’m sorry. I jumped to conclusions. I should never have doubted you.’
Lots of things had changed since she’d come to Rome.
Her mother had been right. Olivia could see now that Marjorie had been on her side, making her face up to the massive mistake she would’ve made had she turned into herself and dwelt on her angst rather than facing Luca and talking things out. She made a mental note to apologise to her mum for accusing her earlier of siding with Luca.
‘I’ve managed to let go of most of my bitterness since I came to Rome, but I haven’t mastered learning how to trust completely.’
‘Trust has to be earned. Had I told you right from the start you wouldn’t have had cause to wonder, so we’ve both learned.’ He placed one palm over her still flat abdomen. ‘You’ll be a fabulous mother, mia amore. You already love this little life you’re carrying and I know you’ll do whatever you think it takes to protect our child. What you need to understand is that I will too.’
She nodded. ‘No more making wild assumptions. I promise I’ll talk to you whenever something bothers me.’
‘And I promise to try to make sure you don’t have any doubts.’ His lips formed a self-derisory smile. ‘My need to save Christiana is very strong, but it’s not the reason I wanted our baby.’
Our baby. For the first time since the doctor had dropped his bombshell, Olivia allowed herself to experience the joy and thrill of knowing she was pregnant. That she was sharing the excitement with the man she loved served to double her happiness.
Seduced by the Enemy Page 22
