by Roz Dunbar
Lord, help me. Please help me get through this without anger, without malice toward anyone. Please help me to understand what Sarah was trying to accomplish in not telling me.
“Dave, first of all, Tess Greenwood, my son’s child care provider, is not incompetent in any way. Just the opposite. She’s a physician assistant, and is highly qualified to care for Caleb. Secondly, Sarah Fulcher is not my girlfriend. I have no idea what she’s been telling you, and quite frankly at this point I don’t care. Caleb is well taken care of. He couldn’t be more loved and has made new friends since his move here. Sure, he’s had to make adjustments and things haven’t always been smooth, but we’re getting there. It’s new for both of us, but we are going to make it.”
Luke stopped at that point, waiting for the older man to speak. He felt a sense of peace after his short prayer asking God to help him control the anger he felt. It had been a gut reaction. He knew he had done nothing wrong when it came to Caleb, and he refused to be blackmailed into giving him up.
“We’ll just see about that. I’m doing a background check on that woman and I warn you, if anything—and I mean anything—not on the up-and-up comes back on her, I will file to take custody away from you. You haven’t heard the last of this issue,” the older man warned.
“I’m sure I haven’t, but you know what? Why don’t you and Katherine come here and visit with Caleb, if only to satisfy yourselves that he is doing well? I have plenty of room at the house and he would be happy to see you. We have nothing to hide. Just as I’m sure that Jen wanted you to be in Caleb’s life, I want the same.”
Luke spoke quietly and calmly, his voice laced with sincerity. But once again, a small nagging doubt crept into his mind about Tess. Was there anything in her background that he should have known about before leaving Caleb in her care? Normally, he would have run a background check himself on any person he left his son with. With Tess, he had assumed, since he knew her family, that all was well. Besides, there hadn’t been time. He had needed help quickly and she had stepped up to the plate when he had asked her to. No, he couldn’t believe he would find anything to darken his opinion of her, no matter how hard he looked. Tess was a beautiful soul and he was blessed to have found her again, blessed in more ways than one.
Silence greeted his words for a moment before the older man spoke. “If my daughter had wanted us in the boy’s life, she would never have moved out of this house. And then she went and got cancer and really couldn’t take care of him properly. We tried to get him back, but the courts told us no—just because she was sick didn’t make her an unfit mother. Then she up and died…” His voice trailed off.
Luke heard the pain in the man’s voice and felt a sharp stab of compassion for him. The loss of Jennifer had been hard for Caleb and hard for her parents, as well. When he had learned about her passing, he, too, had grieved for the vivacious woman he had loved in his youth. She had been so full of life, so warm and giving. And she had bequeathed him Caleb, the greatest gift he had ever received. He would be forever grateful to her for that, even though he knew her choice had hurt her parents deeply.
There had to be some sort of resolution that would satisfy Caleb’s grandparents, and he was working hard to find it without going through a court battle. He refused to give up his son, unless that was what Caleb wanted. Luke’s greatest fear was that the boy would say yes, he wanted to go back to Tennessee.
Luke knew what he had to do. He dreaded the conversation with Caleb, but it had to happen. He took a deep breath before he spoke, choosing his words carefully as he stared unseeing at the traffic moving along the highway in front of him.
“I think it’s only fair that I ask Caleb what he wants. If he’s not happy here with me, and wishes to go back and live with you, I won’t stop him. His happiness is what matters. It’s what he wants that counts, not what you or I want.” Luke’s shoulders slumped a little as he spoke. He was suddenly very tired.
“How do I know you won’t try to influence him?” the man asked skeptically.
“You have my word,” Luke answered simply. “Take it for what it’s worth, and in my book, it’s worth quite a bit. Is it a deal?”
“Don’t see why you have to drag the boy into this. He’s not old enough to know what he wants.”
“I disagree. And since the decision involves him, he has every right to know what’s going on. Is it a deal?” Luke didn’t mean to sound sharp, but talking to the older man was like talking to a tree. He was immovable, set on what he believed to be right and seemingly not willing to compromise.
“I’m not saying it’s a deal until after I get the background check on that Greenwood woman. If everything is good, talk to the boy and ask him what he wants. If it’s not, I’ll go to court and get custody. That’s my deal.”
“All right, Dave. I’ll wait until you get the report on Tess. After that, I handle it my way and talk to Caleb.”
“Up to you. I’ll be in touch.” With that, the man hung up.
Luke slammed the steering wheel with his fist. He hated the anger that had welled up in him once again as Caleb’s grandfather hung up on him. Why was Dave being so stubborn? It was nothing new, though. He had been this way when Luke and Jen had gotten married, refusing to come to the wedding. Katherine had been there to support Jen, but Dave had stayed away, claiming it would not last. The worst of it was that he had been right.
Luke looked at his watch and sighed before he started the truck. It was past time to pick up Caleb. He hoped that Caleb and Tess’s day had been better than his.
*
“My mom always let me help her, too. I like to cook.” Caleb took the mixing bowl from Tess and put it in the sink as he spoke. “No, Jack. It’s not for puppies. It’s people food.”
Tess’s felt her heart contract at the boy’s words. He must miss his mother so much. They were in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on a lemon pie that she had prepared for dessert. Caleb had been watching her closely as she moved around the kitchen, so she had told him that she needed help. He had jumped right in, biting his lower lip in concentration as she’d handed him the mixer to whip the pie filling.
“Well, you did a super job on the pie! I don’t know how I would have gotten everything done without your help.” Tess smiled gently as she spoke. “So your mom taught you how to cook?”
“Yep. When she got sick, I used to make her soup and a sandwich. She loved pimento cheese. Do you like pimento cheese sandwiches? I can always make you one, if you like ’em, that is.”
He really was a well-behaved child, and having him here with her had been good for her, Tess realized. Her day had been filled with purpose, something she had not known for a long time. Too long of a time. Her heart felt lighter than it had in months.
“I’d love for someone to make me a pimento cheese sandwich. I don’t think anyone has ever made me one.”
“Mom said mine were the best.”
“Then I’m sure I’ll love them.” Tess hesitated before her next words. “You must really miss your mom a lot, Caleb.”
“I do.” He nodded emphatically. “She got cancer and she had to leave me, but she said that when she died, to always remember she would be with me, in here.” He touched his chest as he looked seriously at Tess. “I used to be mad at God, like Grampy is, but now I’m not. My dad taught me that God is all-loving, so it makes sense that Mom would be with Him. She’s all-loving, too.”
Tess paused, his words sinking into the depths of her soul. They were almost her undoing. How a ten-year-old child could cope with the death of his beloved mother so sweetly and simply, with such blind faith, was beyond her. She had allowed herself to become mired in the deaths of the children at the orphanage, not allowing herself to try to understand. Instead of falling back on her faith, she had fought against it.
She wished that she could accept God’s will with the blind faith of a child, but she just couldn’t. Not yet, not now. She realized then that He had put this incredibly beautifu
l young soul in her life to show her the way home. She wasn’t quite ready to follow that road, but she knew she was a step closer. Looking at the earnest little face in front of her, she almost believed he was right. She almost believed that God was all-loving and that she shouldn’t question His will. Caleb had certainly given her food for thought, and she felt so much compassion for the young boy at that moment that she almost cried. Instead, she held out her arms, and Caleb ran into them without hesitation.
She hugged him tightly. “Yes, dear Caleb, she will always be with you.”
Breaking the hug, she got down on her knees in front of him and touched his chest. “Right here.”
“Can I go look through the telescope now?” Caleb asked, an eager look on his face.
“Yes, you may. Your dad should be here soon. I need to get dinner finished up.” Tess got to her feet as she spoke, after giving Caleb one last hug. “Thank you, Caleb.”
“What did I do?” he asked, giving her a puzzled look.
“You helped me to put something that has been bothering me into perspective.”
“What’s perspective?”
“Something I’ve been lacking for a long time. I’ll explain it all to you one day, promise. For now, let’s just say that you are exactly what I needed right now.”
“Oh, well, you’re welcome, then. Glad I could help, ma’am.”
He looked and sounded so much like Luke when he said it that Tess had to smile as she watched him pick up Jack and head for the upstairs porch and the telescope. Suddenly, he paused and turned around.
“I think you’re exactly what my dad and me needed, too, Miss Tess.” With that he was gone, before she could ask him what he meant.
Twenty minutes later, Tess went to find Caleb. His dad would be home soon and she wasn’t sure whether they would be eating here or if she needed to pack up the meal to go. Either way, it had been good to cook for someone other than herself.
Her mind wandered. Home. She had a fleeting vision of Luke coming home after work, to her and a house filled with children, Caleb’s brothers and sisters. Whoa. Where did that come from? She shook her head. Silly to even have the thought. But what if…just what if? a little voice asked her as she tried to push the thought away as quickly as it came. If she had been in any other place in her life, she would have let herself wonder, but not now.
Still, you are attracted to him, and so is every woman in this lovely, quirky village. Hard not to be. Ruggedly handsome, big and strong. Looks great in a uniform. But those were not good reasons for her attraction to him, though his looks didn’t hurt. He was intelligent, kind and compassionate and had a strong faith in God, and although she was struggling with her own faith, those were the reasons she was drawn to him. She sighed as she went onto the porch overlooking the front yard and saw Caleb peering through the telescope intently.
“What are you looking at?”
“Me and Joey’s island. You can see it real good from up here with the telescope. Look.” He moved so she could position herself in front of the lens.
“Joey’s and my island,” she absentmindedly corrected him, as she took a peek through the telescope. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yep. That’s our pirate island. I love it over there. It’s way cool! We hunted for treasure and collected booty. Well, shells mostly, but sometimes we find sea glass on the beach, and sand dollars. We even have a pirate map we drew of the island and we buried our treasure there, but don’t tell anyone.”
“I promise not to tell a soul. We wouldn’t want anyone to find your treasure.” Tess held up her hand as a pledge as she thought of all the wonderful adventures little boys have.
“But we can’t go there now.”
“Isn’t that because you were taking the boat without adult supervision?” she asked gently.
Caleb nodded and his cheeks turned red, as though he was embarrassed that she knew. The look on his face tugged at her heart.
“Well, how about if I ask your dad if I can take you over to the island one day?” Tess didn’t think it would hurt to ask. She certainly knew how to handle a boat, having grown up on Puget Sound. Her family were avid boaters.
“Really, Miss Tess? For real? Would you take both Joey and me? That would be so cool!”
“I’ll talk to him,” she said. “No promises on what he’ll say, though.”
“Talk to me about what?”
Tess must have jumped ten feet. She whirled around and saw Luke standing on the porch behind them. Her heart did a slow flip and ended up somewhere in the region of her tummy as she took in the handsome face etched with what could only be described as a tired smile. Tired though it was, it still had the power to wreak havoc on her psyche, especially considering her earlier thoughts about him.
“Dad!” Caleb gave a loud whoop as Tess leaned against the porch railing for the support she suddenly needed.
Chapter Eleven
“So that’s where I stand as far as custody goes.”
Luke leaned back in his seat tiredly before taking a drink of the coffee Tess had provided after dinner, to go with the delicious pie. The meal had been wonderful. He remembered with pleasure approaching the welcoming house, filled with scrumptious smells and two of his favorite people in the world. It felt so much like home that he had allowed himself the fleeting daydream of it really being home, his home, with his son and Tess waiting for him at the end of a long workday. But he pushed the fantasy aside as quickly as it had come. He was more than a little attracted to her, but knew in his head that as a couple, they would be impossible for the time being. She was working through so many issues right now and his priority was Caleb. But still, the thought warmed him.
In his heart, he yearned for a wife and children. He hadn’t been able to make things work with Jen but he was determined to get it right with Caleb. His son was his priority. There was no room for anyone else but the two of them.
Nevertheless, he found himself confiding to Tess about the issues with custody. He was normally a private man when it came to personal matters, but there was something about Tess that invited confidences. She was warm and understanding, not interrupting as he spoke, and once he started, it all came tumbling out. Even the bits about her supposedly being incompetent, and Sarah’s part in speaking to Caleb’s grandfather.
He couldn’t have stopped if he had wanted to. It was healing to share what was going on. He hadn’t realized until then how worried he really was about his son being taken from him. Sharing with the military attorney was different. No emotions involved. Even sharing with Mike was different, he was so far removed from the situation. Sharing with the woman sitting across from him, he allowed his feelings to show.
Her green eyes were shadowed with concern and sympathy, and she didn’t seem to be at all offended by the unflattering bits about her. For just a moment, he again let himself wonder what it would be like to love her and have her love him back. He shook his head slightly, clearing the thought.
“Well, first of all, nothing negative will come in from a background check on me, so please don’t worry about that. I’ve been through a ton of them as a PA. Secondly, if you were concerned about me watching your son, I suspect you never would have asked me. You of all people know about what I’m dealing with as far as PTSD goes.”
Her words were sensible, and he nodded in agreement. “Thanks for the reassurance on the background check. He said he wasn’t going to file unless I had been negligent in Caleb’s care. I think that’s really his only leg to stand on. The courts won’t listen to his case unless he can prove that I’m not a fit parent.”
“If he really thinks you aren’t, then he doesn’t know you at all. Anyone can tell that your son is your heart, no matter that he’s only been with you for six months. It’s obvious that you love him and he adores you.”
“He does?” Luke couldn’t keep his surprise from showing.
“He does,” Tess said firmly. “He talks about you all of the time. ‘My dad taught me this, my
dad says that.’ Like it or not, Luke, you are your son’s hero, and what a wonderful thing to be.”
Luke’s heart swelled at her words. He really hadn’t realized that Caleb felt that way. Oh, he knew the boy was adjusting, but becoming a family had been and still was a learning process for both of them. Having validation that that his son really cared for him and looked up to him meant everything, and made all the adjustments, the give-and-take moments, worthwhile.
“Thanks for sharing that with me. It means a lot.”
“He’s a good kid, Luke, but then you know that.”
“Dad!”
Luke and Tess both looked toward the living room as they heard the frantic note in Caleb’s voice. Luke got up and rushed to his son. Something was wrong, very wrong. Caleb had gone back to the upstairs porch to take a last look through the telescope before they left for home. Luke didn’t realize that Tess was right behind him until he stopped short at the foot of the stairs and she ran into the back of him.
“Caleb?”
“Dad, hurry. It’s Grampy!”
Grampy? But he had just spoken with him on the phone that afternoon. Dave was in Tennessee, wasn’t he? What was Caleb talking about? Luke took the stairs two at a time, reaching the porch in seconds. Looking down from the balcony, he saw the older man lying facedown on the velvety green lawn next to the front walkway with Sarah kneeling next to him. He wasn’t moving.
Luke turned to his son and saw the worried look on his young face. Then his gaze caught Tess’s expression, which was shadowed with concern. Luke knew in an instant what he had to do. Adrenaline kicked in as his mind cleared and a plan of action formed. He had always been clearheaded in emergency situations.
He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, dialing 911. He gave the dispatcher directions and then clicked off and put it away, knowing it would be some time before they arrived. Luke hustled the other two down the stairs. He paused in the living room and looked deep into Tess’s eyes. “You have to come and help,” he said simply.
