“Did Mike know? About Frankie?” Evan whispers, his hand sliding round into the small of my back.
I nod, and I look into his eyes, and I hope he understands that it was just different, with Mike. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, and he needed to know, about my daughter. It’s taken me until now to realize that it’s time Evan knew, too.
“Okay…”
“Can we go home, Evan? Soon. Please, can we just go home?”
Evan
I feel like I’ve been sideswiped. What Lola told me this morning, that came out of nowhere, and after all the shit I’ve had to deal with and listen to these past couple of months, this has affected me more than anything. This is the thing that will, ultimately, change me. I just wish she’d felt able to share something so huge with me a lot sooner. The fact she couldn’t kind of hurts, but I know that one’s on me. Or maybe we’re both to blame, I don’t know. I just know that, for the first time, we’re talking. And that’s something else that should’ve happened a lot sooner. How much of that mess could’ve been avoided if we’d just done that?
“Hey.”
I turn around and I smile as she comes over, pulling her closer as my arm circles her waist. “Hey back.”
“I’m going to see Jed in a little while. I need to say goodbye, properly this time, because I didn’t do that, before. I just left and – and I regret doing that, to him, so, I just want to say a proper goodbye.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
She shakes her head and smiles at me. “No. I won’t be long, and then we can start making plans to go home. Okay?”
“Okay.” I kiss her quickly before she lets go of me and heads for the hall to grab her jacket. “Lola?”
She stops and turns around. “Yeah?”
“You and Mike – did you ever talk about starting a family?”
I’m not sure I really meant to ask that question out loud but I’ve said it now, and she looks at me, her expression almost impassive.
“We talked about it, yes. I was in a better place then, Evan. My life was good, I was moving on, I was settled. Things were verging on perfect, or I thought they were, and then… Well, we all know what happened. But Mike doing what he did, leaving me at the altar like that, it changed me. Again. It made me rethink everything.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you go there again I… I’m sorry. This is just a real head fuck, y’know? And I’m trying to take it all in, trying to find a way to help you…”
“I don’t need help, Evan. Not anymore. I just need us to sort our shit out and move on.”
She’s right. That’s exactly what we need to do.
“And the L.A. idea?”
She smiles, comes back over to me, and stands up on tip toes to plant a gentle kiss on my mouth. “I’ve always liked the sunshine.”
“Are you sure, Lola?”
“About L.A.?”
“About everything. Me. Coming home. Moving to Los Angeles. Us.”
“I’m sure.”
I pull her to me again, and I breathe her in and I make a promise to myself that, this time, no amount of shit is going to tear us apart.
Lola
“I was just getting used to having you around again.”
Jed sits down on the same wall in Cathedral Park I’d sat on yesterday afternoon, before I came home to find Evan on my doorstep, and my world about to change all over again.
“Yeah. Me too. But, you know, maybe this flying visit had to happen for me to find out what I really wanted. There’ve been too many times in my life when I’ve ran from those things I needed to face, too many times when I’ve tried to tell myself I feel nothing when I feel everything, I’m just too scared to open myself up to those feelings, because I’ve lost so many people that I love, Jed. Frankie, Mike, you. I don’t want to lose Evan, too.”
“You never really lost me, Lola.”
“I almost did. I walked away, ran to New York without really saying a proper goodbye, and I regret that.”
“We still kept in touch. Kind of.”
“Yeah. I know, but – I still could’ve handled it better.”
“We handled it the only way we knew how. And when something like that happens – you can’t prepare for it, Lola. You can’t do that.” He takes my hand and I wrap my fingers around his, squeezing them tight. “So, L.A., huh?”
“Yeah. A new life in Los Angeles awaits. A new start. And this time I think the slate really will be wiped clean.”
“You deserve to be happy, Lola. And maybe you and Evan…”
“No more kids, Jed. I’m not going there. I can’t. Besides, I’m heading more towards menopause than motherhood. So, maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a mum, huh?”
He gives my hand a squeeze and he looks at me. “You were an incredible mum. You were amazing. You should give another kid a chance to know that.”
I look away, out over the park, I just take a couple of seconds.
“What about Evan? I mean, have you ever talked about starting a family?”
I look back at him and I smile. “Believe me, Jed, if you’d known Evan in the beginning you’d know he wasn’t the family type.”
“You’re using the past tense there.”
I briefly drop my gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe things have changed, maybe he’s really changed, but, there’s still a lot of talking to be done; things he might want to know. And I’ll tell him, whatever he needs to know, I’ll tell him. Because, if we’ve learned anything from all of this, it’s that the truth is something we shouldn’t be afraid of.”
Jed looks down at our joined hands, and then he pulls me forward, resting his forehead against mine, his hand cradling the back of my neck, and for a few seconds we just sit there, in silence. And then he pulls back slightly, and he looks at me, and he smiles. And I suddenly feel like everything really is okay now. It’s getting there, anyway.
“Listen, Lola, I was going to tell you this on Saturday, when you came for dinner, but you’re leaving now and – Ellen, she’s pregnant. A few months now, the baby’s due in July and… and I’m really happy, you know? I’m really fucking happy.”
“Oh God, Jed, that’s fantastic!”
“Really?”
“Jesus, yes, really! I’m so happy for you both.”
“I was kind of nervous about telling you. I didn’t know…”
He stops talking and I give his hand another squeeze. “It was twelve years ago, Jed. I’m not that fragile, broken woman anymore.”
“I just wish you could’ve met Ellen. I think you would’ve liked her.”
“Maybe one day, huh? When I come back to visit, or maybe you guys could come out to L.A., when the baby’s a little older.”
He smiles again, a smile filled with genuine warmth, and just a hint of relief. “You should’ve come to me, Lola. You should’ve leaned on me more, you didn’t need to run.”
“Yeah, well, that’s the story of my life, believe me. But, we got there, right? And me and Evan, we’ll get there, too.”
“You take care of yourself, you hear?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you too.”
“Be happy, Lola.”
“I think I just might be, Jed. This time.”
I really think I might be.
Epilogue
Evan
“Come on, Lola! The car’s gonna be here in half an hour, we don’t want to be late.”
I don’t know what the hell she’s doing in there, I just know that she’s been getting ready for the past three hours and I haven’t seen her for two of those, she’s been holed up in the bathroom.
I go over to the drinks cabinet and pour myself a bourbon before I walk outside onto the terrace, and I stop and take a sip of my drink and I just look out over our back yard. Our new back yard. I look out at the palm trees and the swimming pool and the stunning view of the ocean; the trails of bougainvillea that seem to be everywhere, adding splashes of color to everything. The sky is blue,
it’s a warm evening and I turn and take a few steps back, looking up at the Mediterranean style villa in Pacific Palisades that we now call home. We’ve been here in California for almost six months now, and I can’t thank Dana enough for persuading us that it really was the best thing for us to do. Heath has Cavendish King, New York, right where it needs to be, I have no doubt he’s been good for that place at a time when I could’ve brought it to its knees. And for me to be back working with Dana, that’s where I need to be. We’ve also brought Alicia on board, poached her from her old firm and made her a senior equity partner at Cavendish King, and I swear, I am surrounded by my very own dream team here. Evan’s angels – yeah, that’s what I might start calling them, just not to their face. That could get messy. But when I say I need those women in my life now, I’m not joking. I need Alicia and Dana just as much as I need Lola, just in a completely different way. And for me – for Evan King – to admit that I’m dependent on three women is something that’s taking a bit of getting used to. But someone’s got to keep me in line, right?
“How do I look?”
I drop my gaze and I smile as Lola joins me on the terrace. “You’d look so much better naked.”
“Grow up,” she sighs, rolling her eyes and smoothing down the material of her emerald green dress, and all of a sudden I’m thrown right back to that very first night I met her, when the dress she was wearing then was almost exactly the same as the one she’s wearing now. And I’m beginning to think that’s when I really fell in love with her, that night. “What? What’s the matter? Is something wrong?” she asks as she catches me staring.
“Come here.”
“Why? Evan, is there something wrong with this dress?”
“Just get your beautiful ass over here, Mrs. King.”
“Giving orders now, huh?”
“You still came though, right?” I grin as she steps into my arms, and she gives me a wan smile back.
“Shut up.”
“You know what would really shut me up?”
“I could hazard a few guesses.”
“Take the dress off.”
She looks at me, cocking her head to one side just slightly. “You’ve just spent the past half an hour telling me we’re going to be late, and now you want me to get undressed?”
“We’ve got plenty of time, honey, but if I’d told you that you’d still be in there, doing whatever the hell it is you’ve been doing for the past God knows how many hours.”
“You’re exaggerating now.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, you think so, huh? I’ve managed to watch half a box set, heat up a pizza, make ten phone calls, not to mention fire off a dozen emails, and get myself ready in less than half the time you’ve been in that bathroom.”
“Well aren’t you lucky enough to be able to look so damn handsome in just five minutes.”
“It’s a gift.”
“I’m such a lucky girl.”
“You better believe it, beautiful. Now take off the dress.”
She keeps her eyes on mine as she slowly slides the dress down over her incredible breasts, past her thighs, and she steps out of it, picks it up and lies it carefully over a garden chair. She’s naked, bar a pair of stunningly sexy sky-scraper heels, and she takes my hand and pulls me toward her as she leans back against the whitewashed wall of our L.A. home.
“I love it when you do as you’re told,” I murmur, leaning in to her, my mouth brushing the edge of her shoulder.
“You’re skating on thin ice now, mister.”
“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”
“Don’t count on it.”
I look at her, and I raise an eyebrow and she smiles. Jesus, I fucking love this woman. And then she reaches out and cups my cheek and guides my face down until her lips touch mine, and now I’m all in. We’re going there, it’s happening.
I drop a hand to her hip and I turn her around so she faces the wall, and my fingers intertwine with hers as she widens her stance, and I touch her. She’s warm and wet and I pull her hips back against me and push slowly inside her. I take my time, I want to feel it all, every thrust, every buck her body gives as I fuck her gently. I want to hear every tiny sigh she gives, listen as she cries out my name when she comes.
She squeezes my fingers and pushes her ass back, forcing me deeper inside her and I slide a hand around onto her stomach and I pull her up and back against me, holding her tight as the ride starts to reach its climax. So I drop my hand and I find her clit and the second I touch her she comes, and as she cries out loud and clenches my cock deep inside her, I’m coming too. And it’s fucking glorious, I don’t care if we never leave this back yard again.
I drop my head and rest it against her shoulder as we both take a couple of minutes to get our breath back, her fingers still clinging onto mine and as I do every day now since we got back from the UK, I thank whatever God might be up there for getting us here. To this. To where we are now. Because if I’d lost her…
“I’d better go put myself back together, huh?”
I let her go and she turns around. And I just look at her, for a second. I just look at her. And then I kiss her, and she responds, her hand sliding around the back of my neck and I pull her naked body against me and I just hold her, and live in this kiss.
“We really will be late if I don’t go sort myself out.” She smiles, and I let her go properly this time.
“You gonna be another three hours?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Evan, you haven’t done that much damage.”
She slips back into her dress and sashays into the house and I can’t take my eyes off her ass. To me it’s fucking perfect, our life is fucking perfect. Now.
I follow her inside and pour myself another small shot of whiskey. We’re off to a movie premiere tonight. Our first, and even though she won’t admit it, Lola’s kind of excited about that. It’s the premiere of a movie starring one of our newest clients, an A-List actor who needs a shit-hot lawyer to deal with a contract issue he’s having with his ex-manager. And there was only one shit-hot lawyer he wanted.
“Hey. Before we go, I’ve got something for you.”
I swing around and smile at my wife. My beautiful, way-too-hot wife, man, L.A. really suits her. “Oh yeah? What happened outside wasn’t enough, huh?”
“Just hold out your hand.”
I frown slightly, but I put down my drink and do as she asks. Yeah, I can do as I’m told, too.
“Close your eyes.”
My frown deepens, but I close my eyes and hold out my hand and I feel her place something in my open palm. Something light, I don’t know what the hell it is.
“Okay. Open them.”
I open my eyes and look down at my hand and then I raise my gaze and I look at her.
“Lola, I…”
“You going to be okay with this?”
“Am I…? Get over here, come on.”
She walks over to me and I yank her against me, and I kiss her like the world would fucking end if I stop. And she laughs, and it feels like all that crazy shit never even happened, like we’ve always been here, in this bubble, living this life. Loving this life.
“I was going to wait, until I’d seen a doctor but… I couldn’t wait. I had to do the test, I had to find out… Evan, it’s happening. At least, I think it’s happening, and I know we didn’t plan this…”
I shut her up with a kiss, because she’s right. We didn’t plan this. But, you know, maybe some things are already mapped out for you and you just don’t know it. Because, sometimes, the timing is just right.
“And you… Are you okay with this? Because I thought…”
“Things change, Evan. Coming home, moving here, starting a whole new life… Things change. And I want this. I think I probably need this.”
I take her hand and I squeeze it gently and she raises her gaze, her eyes locking with mine. “I’m gonna look after you, all right? I’m gonna make sure you get the best care, the best…”
>
She smiles, and she cups my cheek and kisses me slowly. “I don’t need looking after, Evan.”
“Just let me do this, Lola. Please. Let me look after you. Both of you.”
I drop a hand and rest it against her stomach, my eyes burning into hers, and I don’t think I could love her more than I do right now. Sometimes curve balls are welcome. Sometimes they’re thrown for a reason, and I think we both need this one.
“You know what I’m really looking forward to?” she whispers, her mouth almost touching mine as she speaks. “Watching Evan King change his first diaper.”
“Such a bitch,” I murmur, my face breaking into a grin as she laughs into me. “Jesus… We’re having a baby.” I can’t say the words without smiling. I can’t do that, and if someone had told me a few months ago that I’d be feeling this way at the prospect of becoming a dad, I’d have said they were crazy. “We’re having a fucking baby!”
And maybe it is crazy. All I know is fairytales and happy-ever-afters and all those things I had no time for; all those things I didn’t believe in, before. I believe in them now.
The End.
About the Author
Michelle Betham is an ex-media technician turned author of hot, edgy, gritty romance, usually involving rock stars, sports stars, hot businessmen, and bikers. But not usually all in the same book. Yet. She is both self-published and published through HarperImpulse, a division of HarperCollins Publishers.
Addicted to binge-watching TV dramas she struggles to think of a life before Netflix or Amazon Prime, loves rock music, tattoos, spicy food, superheroes (and that includes a particularly unhealthy obsession with Iron Man), and Keanu Reeves – a crush that’s lasted well over twenty years, and one she blames entirely on “Point Break”. The original. She refuses to acknowledge any remake exists…
Her dream is to ride a Harley. And visit Las Vegas. And be able to eat any amount of chocolate without putting on weight.
Willfully Hers (The Dirty Business Series Book 2) Page 27
