by Tess Oliver
Naturally, I spent the rest of the day and night wondering if he knew my true identity. But I laughed that idea off quickly when it occurred to me that I hardly knew my true self anymore. The nectar and my time with Kane in his strange, sunless world had morphed me into an entirely different person. Aside from the red hair, I hardly recognize the person staring back at me from the mirror.
Blake knocks before entering. "Are you almost ready?" He continues talking as he walks through the room. "The rest of the girls are already at the pool enjoying their night off. They're serving—" He stops in the bathroom. It's easy to read Blake's expression. He wears every emotion like an easy to read book.
"I can't go. Look at me. I'm skin and bones. It's a wonder Kane hasn't kicked me out already. Guess he won't have to if I just dissolve into nothing."
Blake smiles. "I've brought you something I think will help." For the first time I notice he has one hand behind his back.
"No more vitamin D pills," I complain. "I know they're necessary down here, but they actually hurt my stomach."
"I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Just want to kick myself for being so darn stupid." He pulls out his hand. It's a large frothy glass filled with a berry red smoothie of some sort. "I asked the chef to add protein powder and some other stuff to fluff up the calories."
I take the drink in my hand. "Hmm, smells delicious." I sip the liquid through the extra thick straw and sigh with satisfaction. "You are brilliant, my friend."
Blake lifts his hand to his chest. "You don't need to tell me." He stares notably down at my body. "I just wish I'd thought of it one pair of curvy hips ago. I've just never seen any of the other girls react like this to the nectar. It seems with you every side effect and reaction is ten-fold."
"Are you calling me a horn-dog?"
Blake's kind laugh echoes through the bathroom. "If the shoe fits, darlin'." Blake knew that I was upset when I left Kane's office, but I never revealed what his boss said. It would only make him worry more. "Let's do something with your hair. The other girls will be checking out everything, surveying you from head to toe."
"Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't need their scrutiny. As much as I would love to talk to more people, other than Kane and you. No offense."
"None taken but I guarantee I'm more fun than any of the girls in that pool."
"I'm certain of it." I hug him. It's a gesture that I find myself doing more and more. Good friend that Blake is, he never seems to mind. "So I'll just skip the pool party."
"No can do, sweetums. Boss's orders. Besides, you need to get out of this room. The overhead UV lights are on in the pool area, so you'll get a little color on that powder white complexion."
"What I need is real sunlight, fresh air, a beach. That's what I need." My morning dose of nectar is wearing off. As it thins out in my bloodstream, it always leaves a longing for some of the reality I've left behind.
"We should probably get you another injection." He heads to the panel where the syringes are kept.
"No, please. I'm feeling clear headed and surprisingly good. I don't want any. Let me just be me." I hold out my thin arms. "Cadaver girl. The other girls will be talking and laughing about me the rest of the night and at the same time wondering just what the hell Kane sees in me." My arms drop. "Pussy," I say aloud, even though it was more or less just a depressing thought. "That's all he sees. Guess he doesn't mind what's above or below it." A lump forms in my throat assuring me that the level of nectar in my bloodstream is dropping fast.
Blake walks quickly toward me and takes my face into his hands to look me directly in the eyes. "It's not just pussy, darlin'. And you probably know what I'm going to say next, but I'm going to say it anyhow. I wish that it were. I wish it was just about pussy." It's there again, the worry that takes over his expression whenever the topic comes up.
He drops his hands. "Let's do your hair. I've got some good news about my little crush on Jason, the hunky bodyguard."
I laugh. "Little crush?" We walk out to the bedroom.
"Well, monstrous crush. Anyhow, I made the first move and turns out he feels the same way."
"Woo hoo. I'm so happy for you." I turn around and hug him again.
Sometimes, it's harder than I expect to let him go.
4
Kane
I lean back on my chair and watch the scene at the pool through the security cameras. The cameras are more to protect the women than to spy on them. But tonight is different. Tonight she is at the pool. As often as I try to wrench her from my thoughts, I always find myself settling right back into my obsession. And it’s exactly that. There is no other word in the dictionary to describe my feelings toward her. Even after admitting out loud, and not just to myself but to her, that she will bring my eventual downfall, I still can’t wash her from my soul. She’s invaded every corner of my being, twisted and dark as it is. I convince myself a dozen times a day to let her go. Just send her away, I think over and over. Take the temptation away and everything will be back to normal. But my arguments never stick. My insatiable need to have her always wins.
I click on the camera that has her in its lens path. She is far too thin and looks deathly pale as she sits on the edge of the pool. She has reacted strongly to the nectar. She hasn’t gained back her appetite, which is a good reason to stop the injections. But the greedy, obsessed madman inside of me doesn’t want to lose her or the sex. There is no way she would care for or crave a monster like me if she was sober.
A few of the other women have spoken briefly to her, but for the most part, she sits alone, looking out of place and uncomfortable. She rubs her arms often, signaling that she has skipped the evening dose of nectar. It angers me as much as it excites me. It’s an opportunity to have her naked in my arms without the buffer of the drug. Would she be repelled or tense? Can I handle knowing the truth? Maybe knowing that truth will help break the hold she has on me. Or maybe it will make me go insane with despair.
Either way, it is time to find out.
5
Angie
I have a hard time remembering all the names at the pool. It is a mix of both my semi-drugged state and my lack of interest. The truth is, I don't care to know any of them. Just as they don't care to know me. I have no doubt the few conversations some of the women started with me were strictly out of curiosity. They want to know how on earth this thin, pale and as I've heard more times than I care to, not terribly pretty woman sitting at the end of the pool could possibly hold Kane's interest for so long. Since I have no rational answer for it myself, I avoid the topic completely.
"You should just tell Blake to bring you fully loaded carbs," a woman named Georgia tells me. I remember her name easily because she has a sultry Southern accent to go with it. So far, she is the only fairly genuine person at the pool. Georgia rests her arms back on the pool edge and lets her long, tan legs float up. She says the tan is from a bottle, but it looks amazingly real, like she's been sitting on a beach in the Bahamas for a week. "And I don't mean whole grains like all the nutrition experts say," she continues with her advice. "You need waffles and pancakes smothered in butter and topped with plenty of maple syrup. That'll plump you up nicely."
"Waffles and pancakes? Can't say no to those." I lift my hand to rub the creepy crawly feeling in my arms but stop myself short of scratching the itch. The friction only makes the symptoms worse.
Georgia floats away from the edge of the pool and wades to the steps where I'm sitting. She has light hazel eyes and short brown hair with a pert little nose dotting the middle of her face. "You aren't the first girl to suffer weight loss from nectar. A girl named—" she taps her chin. "Betsy or Beverly or something. Can't remember." She laughs once. "I sometimes think living down here is wiping away every bit of my memory. Can't hardly remember a darn thing anymore."
I nod in agreement only I'm certain the nectar has more to do with the memory loss than living below ground.
"Anyhow, Betsy was skinny to beg
in with. You know one of those tall runway types. In fact, she was a little too thin. The club members overlooked her a lot, even though she was stunning with big blue eyes and cherry lips. But she got so skinny, Mr. Freestone decided she wouldn't survive down here, so he sent her away."
"Away? Where to?"
Georgia smiles. "You sound worried. I don't blame you. If you get much thinner, I think you'll be sent away too." She seems to say it not to be bitchy but more as a warning. "Not sure where the girls go when they leave here because it's never happened to me. I get picked every club night," she says proudly. "I've got a solid position here unless I start growing warts on my nose or something," she laughs. "Anyhow, you should try the waffles and syrup."
"I'll give 'em a try."
Two other women swim over to hear what we're talking about. I recognize one of them as Eve, the woman who Blake had labeled toxic. My first encounter with her was pretty much that.
"Why are you talking about waffles, Georgia?" the other woman asks as they near. She has long hair that she's braided for the swim party. She looks young, not more than twenty, but she also looks like someone who has seen more than her share of the ugly side of life. There's a scar on her chin that looks as if it was put there by a fist with a ring.
"Hey, Robyn," Georgia says, "just telling Tawny how to put some weight on her bones." She mumbles something else to Robyn, but I can't make out the words.
Robyn looks me up and down. "You are pretty thin. You should just eat sticks of butter."
Eve rolls her eyes. "You are so stupid. Nothing will help. If the drug makes you anorexic, there's no way to stop it. You either need to get off of it or starve to death," she says confidently. "Either way, you'll be of no use to Mr. Freestone or to Lace Underground."
"Then that's it," I say sharply back. "I guess I'll just pack my things and hike out of here because you've already predicted my future." When the drug wore off, Detective Tennyson came jumping back in bold, flying colors. I miss her. Unfortunately, I'm certain I will miss the nectar more.
"I think that's a grand idea." Eve swims closer, trying to intimidate me it seems. That only pushes Angie to the surface more.
I open my mouth to say something biting back to her but realize, suddenly, that the entire pool room has fallen silent. Everyone, even Eve, turns to the door.
His blue eyes don't sweep the room. They are already focused on me
"Everyone out," he commands. "Now."
There are a few muted grumbles and complaints, but everyone quickly complies with his order. Eve sneers up at me as I climb out of the pool. "This is your fault," she mouths to me before I can pull my gaze away from her face.
I find the towel Blake supplied me with and begin drying my skin. An annoying tremble has started in my limbs. My stomach churns around the fruit smoothie I sipped before swimming. I haven't seen Kane since the afternoon in his office. Since that ended with somewhat of a calamity, I decide my best bet is to dry and quickly shuffle out with the others.
Some of the girls grab the fried chicken and pineapple cake on the table before hurrying out of the pool room.
"Apparently, the party is over," Georgia whispers in my ear as she scoots past. "He doesn't look happy," she adds. She swoops past the table and grabs a piece of cake on her way to the door. I decide to follow swiftly in her wake.
People left the pool so quickly, the water laps against the tile and creates a dance of reflective shadows on the room's walls and ceilings. I avoid eye contact with his aggravatingly magnetic gaze as my bare feet slap the cement pavement outside the pool. I don't need to look up to sense his presence. It's there, tall and brooding and dark, at the end of the room.
I keep pace with Georgia but stay behind her to keep out of sight. A long arm snakes around me stopping my progress. "Not you," Kane says quietly. There's less edge in his tone.
I still avoid his face and focus on the door. Most of the women have left, but Eve stops and looks back, favoring me with a wicked scowl before walking out.
"I see you've met, Eve." Kane sounds oddly normal, like we're about to have a natural, friendly conversation about the lovely Eve.
I nod and bring myself to look at him. He is by far the most strikingly handsome man I've ever met.
He lowers his arm, walks to the door and locks it. Not that I believe for one minute any of the women will disobey his order and return to the room.
"Take the bathing suit off." He starts to unbutton his shirt.
I hesitate.
"You didn't take your last dose." It's a statement. Not a question.
I flinch, waiting to see if he has some secret dose stored somewhere in the room or in his pants. But no syringe emerges. His slips the shirt off his shoulders and unbuttons his pants as he kicks off his shoes. "Are you going to lose the bikini? Or are you just going to watch me strip?"
I have two voices in my head competing to come out on top. The submissive, sweet Tawny, who wants the gorgeous man in front of her so much it hurts, tells me to comply quickly and remove the bathing suit. The other voice, Angie's voice, bristles some at his command, but she also knows the gorgeous man in front of her can fuck like no other.
"I think I'll just allow myself the luxury of watching you strip." Apparently Angie wins this round. Kane is slightly taken aback but far too smooth and recovers quickly. There is even the tiniest glimmer of a smile. I've only ever seen the sliver of a grin, but it's easy to predict that his full smile would be spectacular. Like the extraordinary naked physique now standing in front of me.
"Guess there's a little more of the real woman without so much nectar." His cock is fully erect as he reaches back to stretch his shoulders.
I'm speechless for a moment, wondering if the scene is real or if I'm in some drug stupor in my bed. It feels like a normal, highly flirtatious moment with a man I've been sleeping with for weeks, a man who rarely shows any side except the side focused on a raunchy good fuck.
"Get naked and join me." He climbs up onto the diving board and does an impressive double somersault into the deep end. I stand over the pool watching his incredible form cut through the water as he spears toward the shallow end to sit on the steps. Just when I thought he couldn't be a more perfect human specimen, he rises from the water looking even better soaking wet. Drops of pool water fall off his dark hair and clump his thick lashes into spikes.
I quickly slip off the bikini and dive in. I swim toward him and come up between his long legs. My arms hook around his thighs, and he playfully lifts me up and down. It's all just a little too different.
Kane rests his arms back on the pool edge, spreading his muscular chest wide and thickening up the muscles in his arms. The scars stand out from being cold and wet.
"That was an impressive double flip into the pool." I let my legs float back behind me.
"Ah yes, leftover talent from my high school glory days. I was on the diving team."
"Never would have guessed. Were you good?"
"I was. I spent my college summers doing cliff diving shows in Mexico. Made good money."
"Sounds scary. Weren't you afraid you'd break your neck?"
"It was a distinct possibility that I accepted easily." A dark flicker in his eyes makes it easy to find the hidden meaning in his statement. The thought of potential death was welcome, it seems. There are more layers to the man than I have the stamina or enthusiasm to peel away.
"I didn't expect to see you here tonight," I say. "I wasn't sure if I'd see you at all."
He lifts me higher, and I fall forward into his arms. His hand sweeps around and takes hold of my ass. He squeezes it just enough to send a tremor of warmth through me. "Why did you think that?" he asks.
I'm far braver when Angie's prevalent. But with the way my body presses anxiously against him, physically, I'm still weak as a kitten in his arms. "You said I would lead to your downfall." I reach up and rub my fingers along the beard stubble on his chin. It is rare for him to be unpolished or unshaven. I like the roug
her look. I look him in the eyes, even knowing just how damn seductive his gaze can be. "How will I lead to your downfall?"
Kane lifts his hand and pushes a wet strand of hair back from my face. It's too normal. Too tender. It makes me lose the thread of our conversation for a second and my mind goes straight to him fucking me.
"You're my weakness," he says. "My Achilles' heel. Something I never knew I had until now."
I don't know how to process his declaration. There are too many conflicting voices in my head. In between the muddled thoughts, my pussy is aching for attention. "I'm just little old Tawny with no home or decent family. I'm nobody's Achilles' heel." I move closer so that my nipples rub against his chest. "You are a complicated man, Mr. Freestone. I wish I could see inside you to figure out how you work."
He shakes his head slightly. "Sweet Sin, you don't want to look inside this. It's all bad. I'm as warped as they come."
I kiss his chest. His grip on my ass tightens as he presses my hip against his erection.
"It can't be all bad." I scoot back out of his arms and look at him. "And you're not weak. You walk into a room and everyone holds their breath."
His dark lashes drop lower over his blue eyes. "You walk into a room and I hold my breath."
His words wrap around me and hold me hostage for a moment. There is little nectar in my blood and I have no leather cuffs on, but he still has me captive. I float back away from his arms. "Show me," I say quietly. "Show me. Where do I make you weak?"
He takes possessive hold of my wrist, mimicking the leather cuff. One sharp yank and I'm resting against his erection again. He holds my hand tightly as he lowers my palm to his chest. "Here," he says in that mellow, hard liquor tone. He lowers my hand beneath the water and presses it against his cock. "And here. Always here. Day and fucking night. You are my nectar, Sweet Sin."
