“I know, Rosa,” she said, cutting her off. “I’m fine with that. I totally understand. You need your alone time. I don’t mind at all. And I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not intruding, dear. You’ve been such a joy to your father, and we love having you here with us. It’s your home.”
“Thanks, Rosa.”
“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I overheard you this morning. Were you making plans to go back to Los Angeles? Because I hope you’re not leaving because of me.”
“Not at all, Rosa. That’s not it. I have to get back to LA. The work is piling up. Rick’s getting anxious. I hope you and Dad understand. It’s not you guys at all. I just have to go back.”
“I understand,” Rosa replied. She hesitated before asking, “It’s Sebastian Sullivan, isn’t it? You two have a connection.”
“A connection?” she asked with a nervous laugh. “We’re friends, but I can’t even call it that, because it’s built on pretense. He doesn’t know who I really am. Besides, I can’t stick around in Tucson while Rick is on my back about finishing this album.”
“Why can’t you talk to him?”
“Rosa, you know the deal. I didn’t want the media to find me here.”
“Yes, but you have such an awesome story going now. You’re in France, remember? I doubt anyone suspects you’re here. With the people closest to you, there’s no need for hiding yourself away. Your dad and I know who you are. Why can’t Bash?”
“Well, I can trust you guys. You just never know with other people. Bash is a nice guy, but who knows. If he tells anyone, it could end up getting out. Besides, Bash is much better friends with ‘Alex’ than he’d probably ever be with Alexandra.”
Alexandra had the very same thought as Rosa. She considered telling Bash the truth and getting it over with now, rather than waiting for him to find out some other way—if he ever found out.
She held back because Bash would not be interested in her as Lexxi. Definitely not the way he was interested in Alex. It was hopeless trying to explain it to Rosa.
Rosa has to know he’s gay, right?
Or, maybe he was in the closet. Either way, she did not want to talk to her father’s girlfriend about something that might be Sebastian’s secret.
“It doesn’t matter either way, Rosa. I have to get back to LA where I belong.”
“You still belong here too. I can tell you’re at home here, and we both enjoy having you around. Music is your first love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find time for other things that make you happy.”
“This will always be home—”
“Take my advice on this, Alexandra.” This time she interrupted Alexandra. “I waited a long time before getting together with your father. When the doctors weren’t sure he would make it, I regretted every second I waited. Don’t make the mistake of doing what you think is best for others at the expense of what’s right for you. That’s all I’m going to say about that.”
Alexandra understood where Rosa was coming from, but she was not ready to open up to Bash.
Rosa left it at that. She got up from the sofa and started to leave the living room. “I’ll get dinner started,” she called over her shoulder. “Why don’t you take off for a bit, and get out of this stuffy old house? You’re so pale. You could use some sun, love.”
She had an idea what Rosa meant. They probably needed one-on-one time in the house.
***
“I got kicked out.” Alexandra shuffled her feet, looking down at the ground.
Bash stood at his open front door, arms crossed and a smile on his face. “I doubt that.”
“Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Rosa suggested I get out of the house. Apparently I look like I need to get some sun. So I figured I’d come see what you’re up to.”
“Come on in.”
She walked casually into the house when Bash stepped aside, and followed him from the foyer after he locked the front door. He was wearing athletic shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. She could not take her eyes off his tight, firm ass as he led her into his living room. She had to tear her eyes away and force herself to look around the room. It occurred to her she never objectified a man this intensely before.
“I just got back from a friend’s house,” he mentioned. “I’m glad you dropped in.”
“Thanks.”
“Uh-oh,” he said ominously.
“What?”
“You tell me. You sound bummed out. Here, have a seat.”
She sat in the closest armchair and shot him a look. “I know, I know. I’m always going through one thing or another.”
“Would it have anything to do with that ‘crazy’ ex who was blowing up your phone this morning?”
“Wi—Wynona?” She almost said Wilkes’ name. “I’m trying not to think about it.”
“Why? What happened?”
“It was a big mistake. She cheated on me. And now she’s crawling back, asking me to get married.”
He gave her a confused look. “At your age? Twenty one seems a little young to be considering marriage, don’t you think?”
He smiled. Something made her feel he was teasing. That smile on his face, for one. Bash was the sexiest guy she had ever laid eyes on. The attraction hit her like a ton of bricks. She looked away. There was no help for this magnetic pull. She couldn’t deny it.
Bash has a hold on me.
And we’re destined to fail.
“I might be exaggerating about the marriage part,” she told him, finally meeting his gaze. “It’s not only about the crazy ex thing this time.”
“Then what?”
“I…I booked my flight back home.”
There was genuine shock on his face. “Already?”
“Yeah. My uncle is doing a lot better. Rosa is back too. There’s no reason for me to stay. I’m going to miss…well I’ll miss being here. My boss at work is hounding me about going back there…It’s time for me to get things back on track.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. That’s why I’m pissed off. I’m not sure what I’ll do next. I have to get back and figure that out. I mean, I have a game plan, and I’ve done okay, but those plans aren’t making me as happy as I want to be. Anyway, enough about that.”
Bash nodded and gave her an odd look. She did not know what to make of it.
“I hate to have to do this to you, but you leave me no choice.” He got to his feet, stepping over to the cabinet at the side of his fireplace. He returned and dropped a controller in her lap.
“What? Video games?”
“It’s the perfect cure for days like this. I’m talking full speed racing here…the kind of shit that lets you give the real world the finger, while you get yourself together to take it by the balls later on. That’s what you need.”
She was instantly transported back to her teen years when playing helped her pass the time after music and vocal lessons. She used to feel like such a rebel. She would skip out on her guitar practice time slots or drop her songwriting in the middle of an idea so she could play video games, especially when Dad was at work. She had not played in years, but racing games used to be lots of fun.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” she told him, ready for the escape. “I hope you’re not a sore loser, Bash, because I’m about to decimate you.”
She gleefully gripped the controller and got up from the armchair to sit on the sofa facing the TV, tucking her feet beneath her. She looked down at the way she was sitting. This was way too girly. She pulled her legs back out and placed her feet on the floor. Thankfully, Bash was putting the game disc into the console, so he did not notice. He grabbed his own controller and sat next to her. Their thighs brushed innocently, and it was enough to send an electric jolt of desire through her entire body.
She did not want to move. She watched the game load up, and sneaked glances at him as he went through the game start-up options.
This is it.
This is
the come-on.
He’s going to make a play for ‘Alex’.
He’s finally got me alone at his house.
Alexandra remembered that she was the one who invited herself over. She took a second to look at him head to toe, hoping he did not notice. His t-shirt tank showed off his tanned skin and rippling biceps.
God, he looks tasty.
He smells so damn good.
They were about to play video games like a couple of buddies.
What the hell is wrong with me?
She moved over on the couch to give the heat pooling between her legs some time to return to normal. It was no use. The minute he looked at her and nudged her with his elbow—and with that grin on his face—she was turned right back on again.
“Ready?” he asked.
She nodded, because she did not trust herself to speak. She was ready for something, alright. Her body was ramped up and ready for him, or a cold shower, or anything that could get her out of this. He motioned for her to scroll through the options. They picked their cars from the lineup, boosting them up with extra speed or power. Before long, the distraction helped cool her down, and soon they were ready for the first race.
“Try to keep up, pretty boy,” Bash said while holding his thumb down on the accelerator. She jabbed him in the shoulder. He play-kicked at her ankles, and started the game before she could catch her bearings. She immediately fell behind at his distraction technique.
“Hey!” she shouted.
Racing games were a full body sport. She found herself jerking her elbows up and down, or whipping the controller to the right or left as she went around a bend in the road. She wiggled on the sofa, trying to inch him off the road, but he paused long enough to poke at her controller. Her yellow sports car flipped off the track and exploded in the digital grass.
“Dammit. That was a low blow, Bash.”
“What?” he said, laughing. “Tell me that wasn’t funny.”
“It’s all fun and games until the cheater loses.”
“I was just playing. Come on, I’d never cheat. You wouldn’t have to worry about that with me. I’m as fair and loyal as they come.”
She turned away from the game and looked at him. He was not talking about the race anymore. He didn’t look at her. His car shot across the finish line and he threw his hands up.
“We have a winner!” he yelled. “Don’t worry. This is the warmup lap.”
She shook off the need rising up inside her again. He just said he would never cheat. He was as loyal as they come.
This is freaking insane.
I can’t be falling for him!
“Want a rematch?” he asked.
By now she was staring at him with one raised eyebrow and her mouth slightly open. He looked over at her like he didn’t notice it, so she played along, nodding to the rematch. They geared up for the next race, and she put a little more distance between them on the couch. It did not help. It was no use. There was no way to avoid bumping into him at the shoulders, hips, knees, somewhere. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from getting completely lost in the game. Hours passed, and in the back of her head, she was still turning over his comment about loyalty. The stakes were higher now. He had actually gotten bold enough to hint at wanting to date her—‘Alex’.
I’m playing with fire.
One of us is going to get burned.
“Whew!” she said. “This was a great idea, Bash! I think I’ll head back now.”
They had played countless races. They had moved up several levels, and the racing tracks got harder. Her shoulders ached from jerking around. It felt like she had really been driving all this time. It was a blast. This was loads of fun, but she had to pretend she felt nothing, like they were nothing more than two guys hanging out. It was time to leave before any other confessions got thrown around.
“Anytime you need to get away, you know where to find me,” he said.
Bash turned to her and brushed her hair back from her face. They were arm’s length apart. She felt closed in, but did not pull away. Their eyes connected. She did not know what to say.
“I always have a good time with you,” Bash told her.
“Me too,” she said, clearing her throat.
His eyes darkened for a split second, but they both let the moment pass. He pulled back, arms crossed. “Well, I’m going to miss you when you leave. It was fun hanging with you while you were here, Alex.”
“Same here.”
He straightened up in the sofa. “When are you flying home?”
“Soon.” She could not remember the date, not with him looking at her like that…like they were just friends…like he was not going to miss her one way or another. She rose awkwardly and started toward to the door. “Thanks for having me over, Bash. I’ll find my way out.”
“Hey. Why don’t you leave a phone number for me to stay in touch with you?”
She shrugged. Giving him any contact information would effectively be an admission of her deception. She only had contact details for Lexxi Rock, not Alex Roberts.
“How about an email address?” he tried.
She shook her head. “Sorry, Bash. It’s been cool, but I don’t think it’ll work out. I’m not—I’m not…”
“I meant as friends,” he stated pointedly, rising to his feet too. Bash slid his hands in his pockets as he looked over at her. “I’ve never asked you for more than that. I don’t know why you’d assume I want more.”
“Well…I mean, I thought…I didn’t think...” she was sputtering like a busted car. “What I mean to say is I didn’t assume you wanted more. I’m really bad at keeping in touch. I don’t want to get your hopes up.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
SEBASTIAN shook his head. He let her leave. She walked out of his house—more like ran. He was disappointed, but this whole situation was too crazy, and too funny to register the tragedy of it all. He wanted to howl with a laughter that kept bubbling up. That could have gone much worse. He let out a breath, locked the door, and went back to the living room to turn off the racing game.
It was worth a shot. He could not let her leave without trying to stay in touch. He knew she would not keep up her ‘Alex Roberts’ charade once she got back to her normal life. The only thing that did not sit well with him was Alexandra would leave without knowing one thing—that Sebastian knew who she was all along.
There’s also the fact that I’m straight.
It solved one problem, though. Clint and Beth would not meet her or out her. He got into rationalization mode. Her leaving would solve all his problems. Without Alexandra here to tempt him, he could also get back to his life. There were a few weeks left before knee surgery, and after that, another several weeks of physical therapy before he would return to work. He did not need anything messing with his mood.
So why do I feel like shit at the thought of her walking out of my life?
He sat on the couch she had just vacated, and a whiff of her perfume wafted up. He closed his eyes and took it in. The frustration he felt bordered on agony. All he wanted was to touch her. Everywhere. To kiss her lips and taste her, and take her body until she was undone.
It was too much to ask, with this game of hers that he chose to entertain. He was just as responsible for how things went down.
After hours of all that physical closeness on his couch—and no action—he was wound up and horny as hell. He yanked the controllers out of the console and put them away, thinking about her leg pressed against his. Her playful jabs and nudges, and her laughter. The way she looked at him when he slipped up and said he would never cheat on her. That “Wynona” character, which he surmised was that country singer, Wilkes, had to be a real piece of work to screw her over the way he did.
Sebastian needed to face the facts. There was no way to tell her he wanted her, until she gave up the act. Her interest was there. He just did not know how to get her to be real with him. Calling her on her ruse would only force her to put up her walls again. He loo
ked at the clock. It was almost dinner time, so he made his way to the kitchen. Her life and her decisions were none of his business.
Time to have a meal. Time to get over Alexandra Storme. She made her decision. She was going back to LA, to be Lexxi Rock.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
ALEXANDRA trudged back into the house. She mulled over her mixed feelings about what just went down with Bash. Being Alex Roberts was a temporary measure. It worked—and came with consequences and casualties. Bash was an unfortunate casualty. Trying to keep a friendship going with him would only prolong the inevitable.
The smell of roast beef and buttery mashed potatoes assailed her nostrils as she stepped inside. It distracted her from her worries for a fleeting moment. She followed the scent trail to the dining room, where Rosa had brought up the folding card table from the basement. Dad’s hospital bed was turned at an angle to make room for the table. It was already set with plates and cutlery.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you in men’s clothes, Alexandra,” Dad said when he saw her. “I don’t think it’s working. Your hair’s all grown out.”
She smiled ruefully. “I don’t know, Dad. It seems to be working. I’ve been told I’m a pretty-boy.”
“That’s not encouraging, kiddo.”
Rosa entered the room, bringing out the meat on a large serving dish.
“I can help you with that.” Alexandra rushed over to her.
She placed the pot roast in the middle of the small tabletop, and looked up with a smile. “It was no problem, honey. I can handle it.”
“You should have called me to get the table up from the basement.”
Rosa waved her away.
“We wouldn’t dream of interrupting your alone time with Bash,” Dad said, with a wink. His bed was tilted so he could sit up. He looked refreshed from his nap.
Alexandra stared at him, horrified. “Hold on, Daddy. It’s nothing like that. Not even close!” she said, almost too strongly. “Seriously, Bash is just a friend. There’s nothing romantic going on between us. Here, Rosa, let me get the other dishes for you. Keep this comedian busy for me, would you?”
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