by Kelly Oram
“I know it was you,” Brandon said. “I asked who sent in the story, and they told me that the writing credit on the article was going to Aiden Kennedy.”
“What?” Avery squealed. “Aiden, you’re getting an article published?”
Aiden’s shocked eyes flicked to mine, and he shook his head. “It wasn’t me, Brandon. Libby did it. She only asked me for help writing her article.” He looked at me again. “You didn’t have to put my name on it.”
I shrugged. “Yes, I did. I brought you an idea. You put it into a coherent article. You deserve that writing credit, Mr. Journalist. Congrats on the publication.”
A small but genuine smile crossed Aiden’s face. “Thanks, Libby.”
The respect in his expression warmed my heart almost as much as Brandon’s good news. Aiden and I didn’t really care for each other, but he was part of the science club, one of my presidents. I’d owed him an apology too, even if we weren’t friends.
Another round of congratulations went out, this time for our resident reporter, and afterward, Brandon cleared his throat again. “Actually, I have more news.”
“More?” Levi asked.
Brandon became so embarrassed he couldn’t look at any of us as he muttered his next bit of news. “After they called to interview me, the guy I spoke to was so impressed, he contacted a friend of his at MIT and told him about me. I just got off the phone about a half an hour ago with MIT’s recruiting office. They offered me early admittance in their biomedical engineering program and a full-ride scholarship.”
I gasped. Brandon was only sixteen, and he’d been recruited by MIT? That was insane!
“I accepted the scholarship, but haven’t decided on the early admittance yet. I’m not sure I want to skip my senior year. But I’m going to go there for a special summer program. They told me I could wait until near the end of the program before I had to give them a decision about next fall.”
I was so shocked I didn’t notice when Brandon closed the distance between us and wrapped me in a bone-crunching hug. His voice shook as he whispered, “Thanks, Libby.”
I hugged him back fiercely and surprised us both when my voice cracked, too. “Brandon, I’m so sorry that I made you doubt how cool I think you are. You aren’t just cool. You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. You’re going to kick MIT’s derrière and find the cure for cancer one day. I have no doubt.”
Brandon laughed, a choked laugh, and when he pulled away from me he had to wipe a tear from his cheek. I let our friends take a minute to hug our science superstar, and while he was being fawned over, I grabbed the backpack I brought with me and pulled an envelope out of it. It was my turn to get the group’s attention, so I whistled and waited until all eyes were on me. “Guys, I was the world’s biggest sphincter ever. I can see that now. Thank you for not giving up on me, and thanks for taking me back. You’re the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and that said, I have one last mistake to make up for.” I held the envelope in my hand out to Levi. “I owe you a book signing.”
Frowning, Levi opened the envelope. When he read the tickets in his hand, the blood drained from his face and he almost passed out. Brandon had to catch him when his knees buckled. Man, I loved Levi. He may be the biggest geek ever to exist, but he was sure a lot of fun.
“These are…” He looked up at me with wide eyes. “These are tickets to the Fantasy Fiction discussion panel at Salt Lake’s FantasyCon this summer. George R.R. Martin, Neil Gaiman, Brandon Sanderson—”
“And L.P. Morgan,” I finished with a grin. “That was the one, right? The Cinder Chronicles guy? There’s a signing after the panel, so you’ll finally get to meet him.”
He shook his head, speechless. “These must have cost a fortune.”
They did. Thank the flying monkeys that Owen hadn’t been cheap with my birthday present. “You’re worth every penny, Levi. Have a blast, my fantasy-loving friend.”
While Levi continued to stare at his tickets as if they might not be real, I looked around my circle of friends until my eyes landed on Avery. I shrugged. “I think I’ve done my best to make amends to everyone except you.”
Avery immediately shook her head. “Breaking it off with Owen and letting Adam help you with this twelve-step program was more than enough. Just keep being your awesome self, and we’ll consider it even.”
A lump formed in my throat that didn’t want to go away no matter how hard I swallowed. “Really?”
Avery squeezed me tighter. “Of course, really. I love you, Libby. I just want you to love yourself the way I love you. And I want to see you happy.”
I hiccuped. “I want that, too.”
“We all want that, Libby,” Tara said, joining Avery in a hug that created a Libby sandwich. After a moment, Brandon, Levi, and even Aiden got in on the Libby-loving action and fully immersed me in a group hug.
For the first time in a long time, I finally found that hope—that real honest-to-goodness faith that Adam had talked about back when we first started this journey together. I finally had a life where I was happy with myself and my life, and was surrounded by people who loved me. And hopefully soon, I’d have a boyfriend who loved me just the way I was.
“Maybe you consider us even,” I said to Avery as everyone stepped back, giving me room to breathe. “But I’m pretty sure there’s at least one more thing I can do to repay you for being the most amazing best friend that ever existed.” I pulled a small box of hair dye from my bag. “I know how much you hate the blonde, so, Avery Shaw, best friend extraordinaire, would you like to do the honors?”
I took her ear-piercing squeal as a yes.
. . . . .
I was excited to show off my new hair to the Coffee Man, so I stopped at his apartment on my way home from the science club party. It wasn’t that late, barely nine thirty, but he opened the door, bleary-eyed with rumpled hair, wearing pajama pants and a plain white T-shirt. I was startled that I’d clearly woken him, but the just-rolled-out-of-bed look was a good one for him.
“Libby?” He covered a yawn with his fist. “What are you—whoa.” A grin spread across his sleepy face as he examined my hair. “I like it. Much better.”
My happiness with his reaction was marred a little by guilt. “Thanks. Sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be in bed.”
He yawned again. “I haven’t been for long. I have to open the shop tomorrow at five.”
Now I felt really bad. “Sorry. I should have called. I’ll let you get back to sleep and just come say hi tomorrow after school.”
I started to leave, but Adam stepped out onto the walkway and grabbed my wrist to stop me. “Hang on. I’ll walk you down to your car.”
Flutter, flutter went my heart. He was so sweet when he wasn’t being a giant pain in the behind. For some odd reason, I got shy when I accepted his offer. I think it was the first time I’d ever experienced the feeling. It didn’t make sense, and it was startling. My whole body clammed up while my pulse raced. I bit my bottom lip and cursed myself for doing it because it was such an obvious tell that I felt nervous. Why was I so nervous? He was just offering to walk me to my car. And he was still staring at me, waiting for approval. I couldn’t speak, so I nodded.
Adam disappeared inside and returned wearing his new hoodie. I smiled when I saw it. “Looks good on you.”
He tugged at the bottom. “It fits a lot better, too.”
There was a split second of awkwardness, which Adam broke by offering me his hand. That strange feeling was back again. I buried it and placed my hand in his. We headed downstairs at a snail’s pace, as if trying to make these few seconds together last as long as possible. “I really love the hair,” Adam said. “The dark is so much better.”
I snorted. “So I’ve been told. I let the Science Squad dye it at our end-of-year party tonight. They were all insultingly eager to do it.”
Adam laughed.
We reached the bottom of the stairs and walked the last little distance to my dad’s E
scalade. When we reached the car, Adam pulled me in front of it and leaned against the grill. He may have needed to get up early, but he wasn’t in a hurry to go back to bed. I was more than happy to stall with him. Taking up position next to him, I leaned against the front of the car, too, letting my shoulder press against his.
“So…” he said, shoving his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and glancing up at the dark sky. “You certainly look like the old you again. How do you feel?”
I took a deep breath and gave myself a moment to gather my thoughts. “I feel good,” I finally answered. He glanced down at me, a question in his eyes, asking for more. I smiled. “I had a really good night tonight. I’ve finally made amends with all of my friends. They’ve really forgiven me, and it’s cat-tastic having them all back in my life.”
Adam smiled at my awesome slang, but didn’t comment on it. “And Owen?” he asked softly.
“Done,” I said, letting out another big breath. “That’s the best part. I don’t feel sad or angry, or anything. I feel…free.” I shook my head lightly. “I don’t even think I’ll miss him. It’s strange, but now that I can see everything without the blinders on, I just feel sorry for him. He has everything any guy could ever want, but he doesn’t appreciate it. It doesn’t mean anything to him. His life, sparkly as it is, is kind of hollow.”
Adam slipped his arm around me and squeezed me to his side. I snuggled up close, enjoying the warmth he gave off in the chilly night air. “I may not be perfect, and may not have all the things Owen has, but what I do have is meaningful. My life has value to me because of my mistakes. Because I had to work so hard to gain my happiness. And now that I am taking that continued inventory of myself, my life will hopefully stay sparkly.” I sighed. “Ugh. It appears step ten—the continued inventory—is a never-ending process.”
Adam chuckled. “That’s generally how it works, yeah. Once on the journey, always on the journey. So what about step eleven—have you actually tried the prayer and meditation thing?”
He sounded both skeptical and curious. I was pretty sure that Adam, though we’d never discussed the topic of religion, had a pretty solid belief in God. I admired his ability to have faith in something he couldn’t prove existed. He’d showed that same faith in me when we’d first started this process. Though I didn’t quite have his faith, I loved that he had it.
“I have yet to come to terms with the idea of a higher power,” I said. “So my version of prayer and meditation may have included a day at the hill freeboarding with my dad, and a cheesy romantic comedy and Raisinets with my mom on Sunday, but there was definitely much soul-searching involved.”
“And a tattoo, I hear.” With another chuckle, Adam’s arm around me tightened, and his voice dropped low as he whispered in my ear. “Can I see it?”
Holy hydrogen combustion! My body was suddenly giving off so much heat and energy that I was bound to explode. “Um...” My voice shook as I fought against the shivers rocking my body. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Coffee Man.”
“That…” Adam’s voice was suddenly as strangled as mine. “Is probably not the best idea right now.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Show-and-tell definitely needs to wait for another time.”
Adam released his hold on me and shoved his hands back into his hoodie. As disappointing as that was, it was for the best. He rolled his head as if trying to loosen the muscles in his neck, and cleared his throat. “So what about the last step—step twelve? Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
Call me a nerd, but I loved it when he quoted the step verbatim. It was his version of geekspeak. I found it very hot, but I tried to keep focused. “Well, I definitely feel as if I’ve had a spiritual awakening. I’d like to think that I’m cured of Owen. But I failed my last test, so I worry that I’ll fail it again.”
“Understandable.” Adam nodded. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine the next time you’re tested again.”
“I’m sure it won’t be that long. I mean, the guy is coming home for the summer, and he’s Grayson’s best friend. We’re bound to run into each other. I’m not looking forward to that.”
“I have faith in you, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how you do. Until then, though, you can still accomplish step twelve. It’s all about taking the lesson you’ve learned to help others. Even if you continue to struggle with your addiction—which I doubt you will, but if you do, don’t feel bad. Most addicts do—you can continue to fight the temptation by mentoring someone else. Being an example and helping others makes you stronger.”
He had a point. Maybe I was over Owen, but the deeper issue, my constant struggle with my own self-worth, I knew I’d always have to fight that one. It made sense that if I tried to help others, I’d be able to feel good about myself. I nodded and pulled myself away from the car. “I’ll think on that one and report back to you, oh great intervention master.”
Adam laughed and followed my lead, leaning up from the car. He pushed his body into a stretch and glanced up toward his apartment. “You do that.” He walked around to the side of the car and opened the door for me. “Good night, Libby,” he said as I slipped behind the wheel. “If you can escape your father’s clutches for a while tomorrow, come see me around eleven thirty. I usually take my lunch break around then.”
And there went my heart again. The poor thing was getting quite a workout tonight. “It’s a date, Coffee Man.”
Libby
Jo’s was a sight for sore eyes. The sexy barista trying to hide the fact that he was happy to see me made it even better. I hadn’t seen Adam since our lunch date over a week ago. Considering the smile he was failing to keep off his face, he’d missed me.
Making my way to the counter, I drank in the sight of him as if he were a delicious cup of apple cider. In the weeks since the intervention started, I’d gotten used to seeing him on a nearly daily basis, and I’d really missed him. Not just because he was hot, but he’d become a real friend. It was amazing how much I’d come to depend on him.
This week had solidified what I’d realized in the limo with Owen. The Coffee Man and I belonged together, and he would be mine. Oh yes, the skating god cider supplier was mine. I was done waiting. I didn’t need to figure anything else out. I knew what I wanted. I was ready for it.
A low grumble from across the room brought me out of my ogling and back to reality. Kate glared at me, and I sighed internally. Adam would be mine…just as soon as I convinced his psycho little sister it was okay. I flashed her a thousand-watt smile and then turned it on Adam. “How goes it, Coffee Man? Heard you had a photo shoot with Kendrick. Very pro skater of you. Congrats.”
“Thanks.” Adam nodded, trying to play it cool, but his cheeks betrayed him by turning rosy. He quickly changed the subject. “You want some cider?”
“Does your sister need anger management therapy?”
Adam tried to hold back a smile for his sister’s sake, but failed. “She’ll come around, once she sees you’re serious.”
“I hope so, because I’m pretty sure she could kill me if she put her mind to it.”
Adam glanced at Kate and laughed again. “She’s all show. Inside, she’s just a big, annoying softy.”
“Hmm. Sounds like someone else I know. Wonder where she gets that from.”
“Funny, Cider Chick.”
Adam went to work filling a large to-go cup with caramel apple cider. “You have a break coming up, right?”
Adam slid me a glance. “I can take my break as soon as Avery gets back from hers, if you need me to. Why? What’s up?”
“Tutoring. It’s your turn.”
When Adam handed me my beloved cider, he noticed the folder I’d brought with me. I passed him a stack of stapled papers, which he immediately began flipping through. “I figured out what I want to do for my step twelve.”
Adam
’s eyes shot to my face, and I grinned so big my cheeks hurt. “I’m going to help you get your GED.”
Adam froze. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked or scared or upset or what, but he was completely still, staring at me so hard I suddenly got self-conscious. I’d been so sure he’d appreciate this. Had I messed up somehow?
I glanced across the room to where Kate was studying, hoping I’d find a clue to Adam’s reaction in her face, but she was just as startled as Adam. When she saw me look at her, she stomped across the room to me. I didn’t know whether to run for my life or not. “Are you serious?” she demanded.
“I—” I struggled to produce an explanation, too baffled by their reactions. But this was important, so I pulled my shoulders back and met her eyes with my best imitation of the Coffee Man Staredown. “Yes. I’m serious.” I looked back at Adam and softened my voice. “If you want me to, that is.”
“He does.”
“Kate!” Adam glared at Kate and looked at me again. He didn’t ask, but I knew he wanted more information.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know any other man-candy addicts like myself, but, like you said, my addiction came from a deeper-rooted problem. I have self-worth issues. I struggle to like myself. But I’m not the only one, am I?”
Adam fought to keep his emotions masked. This was a more sensitive issue than I’d realized, so I dialed back my intensity and tried to keep my words sugarcoated. “You may not be an addict in need of a twelve-step program, but I know you hate the fact that you’re a dropout. I know you think you’re never going to amount to much more than a manager in a coffee shop, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”
Adam gulped, and beside me, I was pretty sure Kate was holding her breath. Her eyes were as big as baseballs.
“I can help you, Adam,” I whispered. “I’m wicked smart and I know everything you’d need to learn in order to pass a high school equivalency test. I even know how to help you apply for grant money, and could help you get enrolled in college if you wanted to.”
