“If it makes you feel any better,” Emmy began, “I think you’re meant for each other.”
The words were a knife in her heart. When secrets stood like walls between them, those words only made things worse.
“Damn it, you look like a kicked puppy,” Emmy groaned.
“If it makes you feel better,” Addison said, mocking her earlier words, “I feel like one, too.”
Emmy chewed on her lip as Addison lingered in the doorway. She seemed to weigh her response carefully. Addison figured she was going to offer another cryptic line about how she and Reid were soulmates, only serving another blow, but what Emmy said next surprised her.
“As you can see, Reid isn’t the only one like him. You probably know the others are…well, what Reid is. What I am now. Well, as I’ve been told, there is a group elsewhere that governs how they act. It’s kind of like laws to keep them all safe. And, if you knew, then you would be a risk to them, to a secret that involves more than just this group.”
Suddenly, the world became a lot bigger than just Addison and Reid. The door was blown open, unveiling the many layers to the secret and why it was so carefully kept. “I already said I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Addison’s voice was weak.
Emmy shrugged. “The laws that make sure the secrets are kept could hurt you. They don’t just want your promise. They want your life, in one way or another.”
Emmy’s words slowly sank in. Addison’s mind worked to find the clues her friend was laying down. They were there, all she had to do was untangle it all. “You joined this world. You said it yourself. Becoming like them…that was your price?”
“Well, that and it was what I wanted.”
Addison had no way of knowing if that was what she would want. Not unless they told her what was really going on. By then, it would be too late to turn around. She threaded her fingers through her hair and tugged, trying to relieve some of the pressure in her head. This was a lot to take in, even if it wasn’t what she’d come for.
She’d come to this mountain to write a book. Addison wanted to unravel the fantasy worlds in her mind, but now there was a strange kind of fantasy happening around her. It was a mystery, one that swept her up and spit her out. She wasn’t sure if she should jump back in or walk away. The only thing that kept her on that mountain was Reid.
He needed her, she could feel it. There was the same kind of need lurking inside her. She hadn’t known it before, but she could see it now. They felt like the last two pieces to a puzzle. Addison leaned against a counter and drew back a curtain to peer outside. Could she jump in head first if she didn’t know what would await her on the other end?
She knew at least one thing would be there, waiting for her, and that was Reid. “He called me…” Addison sifted through her mind. She’d been drunk at the time and it faded her memories until she was unsure if she’d even heard him correctly. “He called me his mate? Do you know what that means?”
When Addison looked back at Emmy, the woman’s dark brows were raised high in surprise.
“I take it that means something.”
Emmy nodded, slowly, almost reluctantly. Her gaze became distant. Addison had the sense that she was weighing how much to reveal. It was clear Addison knew something, a bit that she shouldn’t have, but it also seemed as though what she knew meant more than she’d thought.
“It’s definitely a loaded word. What they are, these men, they don’t use it lightly.” Emmy turned and started to rearrange her counter. She tidied things that weren’t there, moving bottles of rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide around. Addison waited for her to speak, the moment becoming almost unbearable as the desire to know more expanded inside her. “Do you feel a tug? It starts in your belly. When you’re away from him, it feels like someone is ringing a bell? Tug, tug, tug, until you’re near him. Then, it’s your whole body. You need to feel his hands around you, his heart beneath your ear.”
Emmy’s words slowly shifted from question to statement, as if she were reliving an experience of her own. The weird part was that what Emmy said, everything from the tug to the overwhelming need, described exactly what Addison had felt since she moved in with Reid. Her breath caught in her throat and the tugging sensation thumped, like her own exploding heartbeat.
Emmy looked over her shoulder and must have seen the answer on Addison’s face. “Boomer is like that for me. I know some might look at him and think he’s just a caveman, but I look at him and remember how he brought me back to life. Before him, I was an empty shell on the run. Now, I have the world at my feet and him by my side. I can’t say how it will be for you and Reid. Obviously, you fill whatever need the other has. It won’t be the same as what we have.”
Patience. Support. Tenderness. Those were all the things Reid gave her. They were things no man in her life had ever bothered with before, all the things she hadn’t thought she deserved. Doubt twisted her insides. What did she give him?
Addison didn’t have any real skills. She wasn’t a great cook. She wasn’t a happy housekeeper. Cleaning honestly drove her a little mad. All she’d done was take up space in Reid’s house and greedily accept the things he’d made her. That didn’t feel like any kind of healthy relationship.
As much as she wanted to run to him and claim him, Addison feared she would never have anything to offer him. She couldn’t live that way. It would eat her from the inside out.
Just then, the door opened. Reid’s stunned face filled the doorway. He looked between the two women, brows furrowed, and lips parted. Addison’s heart thumped before stuttering. She offered a small, nervous smile, but no explanation.
His shoulders rose and fell as a number of emotions passed over his face. Addison couldn’t read them, and it left her feeling oddly stranded. She wanted a smile, a hug. Instead, Reid kept his distance.
“Are you hurt? You’re usually one of the safer workers.” Emmy moved toward him, and Addison felt the need to jump between them.
“No, I…” He stumbled over his words, lips working though nothing came out.
“I’ll just see myself out.” Addison hung her head. Maybe she’d imagined the tug the whole time. It’d been nothing but lust that they’d both fallen for. That was what happened when two people who hadn’t had sex in ages lived together, she told herself. It was bound to happen; the only problem was that she’d allowed herself to catch feelings for him.
As she passed by, Reid grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. Her heart fluttered, betraying her. She wanted to keep moving, but she lingered near him. It was stupid, she told herself. Still, she hoped there was still a chance for them to become more. She craved it like she craved cake—no, like she craved air.
***
“What are you doing here? This is a dangerous place for someone like you.” Reid was fighting back panic. He’d felt a need to go to the first-aid station, not because he’d been hurt but because something else called out to him. It’d felt like someone pulling on his arm.
He shouldn’t have been surprised when he found Addison there. Yet, the wave of feelings when he saw her had been overwhelming. She was the reason he’d been called up there. Her presence drew him in, an orbit he couldn’t refuse. They couldn’t stay around one another, not if he was going to leave her behind. He couldn’t protect her if she insisted on hunting for secrets like this.
Before he pulled Addison away, he gave Emmy a discerning look. The other shifter shrugged and turned away, telling him her part was done and that she was wiping her hands of both of them.
He guided Addison outside where she ducked out of his touch. For a moment, he felt wounded. Then he reminded himself how he should be acting. This couldn’t go on forever. They weren’t going to be like Boomer and Emmy, who were stupid enough to risk everything. Reid wasn’t going to force Addison like that.
His beast raged at his decisions. The bear clawed at him. It roared to be let free, to meet its mate once and for all. He cringed and tried to push the beast back.
“Are you alright?” In a split second, Addison was before him. She put her hands on his chest, nervously patting in search of wounds.
There wouldn’t be any wounds on the surface. Instead, the bear tore him up from the inside out. Reid would lose control once he left Addison behind. Thankfully, the cabin was paid off. He wouldn’t have to worry about her losing her home. Once he left, he would have to sign everything over to her name and ask someone to pay land taxes for her.
He would get his life sorted out before the bear overtook him and rendered him the monster he feared. It would be worth it if Addison could live the life she wanted. He knew she would go on to sell a bunch of books. Her smiling face would grace the back of every one. She would travel far and wide to promote them and meet her fans, a thing she might not be able to do if he stayed and made her his mate.
The bear’s claws became piercing pain in his chest. He couldn’t breathe, not even though Addison touched him. The beast would force its way out soon. He needed someone to take her home before she saw the truth.
“You’re an idiot,” she whispered at him. There was no pity, no affection in the words. Only a hefty dose of annoyance.
The words brought his attention back to her.
“Whatever you’re doing to yourself is hurting you. Can’t you see that? Why would you do that?”
He turned away, trying to put distance between them.
“Do you hate me? Is that what this is? You got what you wanted out of me and now you’re trying to get rid of me?” Her words were bitter, laced with venom that crippled him.
He should have said yes. He should have agreed to push her away. Instead, he spun on her. The bear’s rage filled him, made his voice a roar. “Why won’t you let me protect you? That’s all I’m trying to do!”
Addison, usually meek and quiet, crossed her arms over her chest. Her feet spread apart in a fighting stance. Reid couldn’t help it; he let himself imagine what her bear would look like. She would be a great, red beast. Her personality would make her large, almost as large as him.
He shook his head to expel the image. It wasn’t fair, to wish that upon her.
“I know you feel like your hands are tied, but if you would stop trying to protect me for a single moment, then maybe we could talk about our options.”
“We don’t have any other options. My world…” He caught himself, almost giving away too much.
Addison nodded. “It’s policed by others like you. And, if you told me too much, I would basically be stuck with you guys forever. I know.”
He saw red. Addison already knew too much. He looked back at the trailer, making a mental note to talk to Boomer’s mate. He’d helped them when they had trouble. Why would they betray him now?
“Maybe I wouldn’t mind being stuck with you and your friends. Do you realize that you’re the only man in my life that has ever treated me this good? I know that doesn’t mean I should settle for the first nice man in my life, but it feels good to be near you. It feels right. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way before. Even the others make me feel comfortable, and that’s saying something.
“I panic in most social situations, but they make me feel at home. Don’t you understand that by protecting me, you’re also closing a door in my face that I’m desperately trying to open?”
She had rambled a bit, blurting out so much that her face was red from the lack of air. Reid’s heart swelled, even though he tried to control it. No matter what he did, she wormed her way into his soul until he was afraid she’d never let go.
“What if you don’t like it after a while? What then? You can’t close doors that are already open.” Reid desperately grasped for reason. She would understand, eventually. She had to. Right?
“I mean, you can close doors, but I get what you mean.”
Silence settled over them.
“Oh my—” Addison’s eyes flew wide and her jaw dropped, as if some sort of revelation hit her. “I feel like a crazy conspiracy theorist right now, but does this have anything to do with the insanely tame bears in the area? Can you…” she lowered her voice. “Can you turn into a bear?”
“Woman,” Reid snapped.
She grinned, triumphant, and tapped her temple. “I knew this literary brain would come in handy someday. I’m damn good at puzzles.”
Reid wanted to swallow his tongue. He’d neither agreed nor disagreed with her statement, but his exasperated warning must have been enough for her. She turned to look down the hill at the others while Reid’s heart sank.
Now that she’d uncovered the truth on her own, even if he hadn’t told her she was right, her freedom was forfeit. He kicked himself for not pushing her away sooner. He never should have let himself near her. Hiding in the shed by day had only done so much to help. He should have slept out there, too.
Maybe then, Addison’s future would not have been destroyed.
Chapter Seventeen
She didn’t see what was so wrong. The truth sat like a glowing nugget in her chest. It cast light in every direction, making her smile. When she looked at the other men, she wondered what they would look like as bears. Boomer would have been raggedy, perhaps with dreadlocks even in his bear form.
She imagined Emmy as a smaller black bear.
Then, Reid grabbed her and spun her around. His face filled her vision. Fear filled his eyes, making her stomach flip. She reached for him and held on while the world spun around them.
“Do you understand what you’ve done? There’s no going back now. You can kiss a life of public fame good-bye. You’re stuck with us forever. Someone is going to come along and expect you to belong to one of us. Is that what you wanted?”
Addison’s stomach settled. A new truth rippled across her. She closed the space between them, capturing Reid’s pouting lips. At first, he didn’t give in. His lips remained pressed together until she snaked her hands along the soft skin of his throat. He groaned, and his lips parted for her. The sound shook something free inside her. It woke that intense hunger that she’d tried to ignore.
“There never was any other option,” she whispered between breaths.
Reid grabbed her and lifted her from the ground. Her body melted into his. This was probably the closest she would ever get to being engaged. Pride and joy filled her as she wrapped her legs around him. She’d been the brave one, the one to take control.
It wasn’t like her. Not usually, at least. Fear with Reid never lasted long, and it was never a fear of him. She feared losing him. She feared being rejected by him. Now, she hung on with all she had to tell him that she didn’t want to go anywhere. No matter what came for them, Addison would be there.
Because, in the end, she belonged to him already.
“Go get a room!” Boomer shouted up the hill.
Addison held on tight. She smiled and laughed at Boomer, the sound bubbling up and out of her like a fizzy drink. She felt light. Nothing in the world could ruin what she’d found. Reid’s touch went from hungry to hesitant.
He pushed her hair back and tried to study her eyes, but she leaned close and pressed her forehead to his, choosing only to bask in the moment. If he thought she still didn’t understand what she’d done, if he thought she should care, then he could try again later. The answer would still be the same.
Addison didn’t need to be like them. She had no real craving for whatever it was that made them what they were. Her human body was more than enough for her, with all of its anxiety and awkwardness.
“I’m going to assume since you’re all working, that if I come across a bear in the woods that I should run.”
“Climb a tree and scream. One of us will come running.”
Her brows rose. “You’d be able to hear me? All the way back to the cabin?”
Reid nodded. He let his rough hands slide down her cheek. She leaned into the touch. It warmed her inside and out, like flint sparking a small fire. Later, Addison would let the flames grow into a bonfire. They would both let it consume them.
<
br /> Reid set her on her own feet. Their hands reached for one another, not quite ready to let go. Years ago, if someone had told her she’d find herself a monster boyfriend, she would have laughed nervously before scurrying away. Now, she held his hand and smiled up at him while her heart puttered, and butterflies danced in her stomach.
There was triumph powering her steps. She’d discovered their secret through sheer perseverance and wit. Though she knew he was something other than human, knowing he could turn into a bear—probably the one she’d seen in the backyard, she realized—didn’t scare her. If anything, she’d never felt safer. There was something about having a man that strong around her that made her feel powerful, too.
Chapter Eighteen
Reid knew it was either a very good idea or a very bad one. He waited, for days, for their happiness to implode. It felt wrong. He knew he didn’t deserve it. Addison taught him how to cook something other than steak, starting with pasta. She showed him how to make tomato cream sauces and introduced him to parmesan cheese. At night, they watched movies while eating caramel corn and cuddling on the corner of the couch.
Little by little, the cozy mess that was her bedroom poured into his until they were one. She slept, curled around his back. He didn’t know what he’d done to find her or what power in this world thought he deserved her.
At the work-site, she’d said something that sent ice through his heart. The thought that he was the only one, the only man, to ever treat her with kindness angered him. His beast had wanted to go on a rampage on her behalf. Reid had sent her home that day then went in search of the family that’d made her feel so unloved.
All he’d found was a grave and an empty house on the brink of falling apart. Ghosts lived in the halls. Not the kind that howled and screamed, trapped and unable to move on. No, these were memories that lived on through the house. He could see the ghosts in a fist sized hole in the wall. He could see the ghosts in the closet, where drawing had been etched into the wall.
To Save A Bear Page 11
