“Stop thinking about prophecies and sacrifice.” Where had his shirt gotten to? Oh, he’d left it on the pile of other soiled clothing. I hoped that Kjexx had spares around here somewhere.
“We’ll never get to ride off into a sunset together and be free of everything,” I said.
“I told you that wasn’t freedom to me.”
“And what is freedom to you right now, Rusk Hawkwing?”
He twined his fingers around mine, pulling me to him and kissing my throat, the crook of my neck, my shoulder.
“You are. You are freedom to me.” His voice was husky, and his movements sudden and intense as he pulled me onto a long, fur draped couch and set to kissing away all my worries.
“And you are love to me,” I said, wrapping my arms around him, and letting the scent of him fill my senses.
“The one thing we all want is love. A love so true that it goes beyond death,” he murmured. I felt his lips graze my ear as he whispered.
He caught my gaze with his own and between the fire in them and the flickers of the fire beside us I felt for a moment as if I was someone else living this life for a moment. Why couldn’t this love go on forever?
“The last thing that will ever leave me is my love for you,” I whispered, and his ko seemed to glow brighter with my words.
I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him wildly on the lips. I thought I heard him murmur “Wild Girl” but I was too wrapped up in him to think clear thoughts.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
WHEN I WOKE, THE FIRE was out and the air was crisp. I nestled into Rusk, enjoying the feel of his chest moving up and down as he breathed. He was so alive. And I felt alive just being near him, as if every nerve of my body was reaching out to experience him and every breath of mine was precious. Maybe it was this place. Axum had always felt surreal and strange. But probably not. More likely, it was the words of the High Tazmin finally sinking in. If he thought I’d just lay down and die, well, he was wrong. I wasn’t the kind of girl who just accepted her fate, was I? But was that the problem?
I’d fought so hard to maintain my freedom that I’d dragged my guards to their deaths. I’d fought so hard to save Everturn that I’d made an enemy of Catane, gotten Rusk kidnapped and Kjexx killed. Now. here I was, fighting my fate again. Maybe this time I should think about what other people needed instead of what I wanted.
What did Rusk need? His sister safe, the Eaglekin free, his land returned to its people.
What did Kjexx’s people need? A land to call their own.
I couldn’t give either of them what they wanted with Catane still free and sowing chaos across Canderabai.
“What are you thinking about, Wild Girl?” Rusk asked.
“Now that the High Tazmin maneuvered me into being Catane’s enemy I have no choice but to stand and fight, and I will need allies for that.”
“You have the Eaglekin and the Black Talon,” he said, stretching sleepily as he spoke.
I smiled, “And I have a fine general to lead them, but you saw Catane’s Veen army destroy Azaradi. We’ll need more than just that. And we’ll need allies to fight Catane whether I survive healing this world or not.”
“You’ll survive,” his words were chipped from rock.
I didn’t quite sigh. Optimism was good in its place, but what should I do about the sinking feeling I had that the High Tazmin might be right. What would it be like to die? Would it be physically torturous? Would I lose myself before the end? Would it happen all at once and I wouldn’t know what was happening until it was too late?
I didn’t like these thoughts, and I didn’t like the idea of choosing death. It went against everything I was. I wanted to keep living and sucking every drop out of life until there was nothing left and then I’d just go ahead and fill my glass again. I wasn’t the kind of girl who gave up or backed down and I sure wasn’t the type for self sacrifice.
The thing was - the really sticky thing that seemed to change everything – I was in love. I loved Rusk. I even felt a deep affection for the Eaglekin and the Black Talon, and the thought of all of them dying while I went on was intolerable.
“I’ll never leave you,” he said, pulling me in tightly and kissing my forehead.
And that was when something inside me broke – some part of me that had always just lived for myself – and I realized that I’d give anything for his life and happiness, even my own life.
“I love you, Rusk. I love you more than myself.”
He laughed. “Well, that’s surprising. Are you sure? More than yourself?”
I batted at his arms embracing me. “Don’t tease. I mean it.”
He smiled and it was like the warmth of it touched my heart. “I believe you, Wild Girl. I trust you.”
“I don’t think anyone else has ever said that to me.”
“No one else has known you like I do.”
I felt warm down to my bones.
“I’ll still need allies, and I have a plan to get them, but first let’s check on your sister,” I said.
Fortunately, there were clothes stashed throughout the chalet and we found some that weren’t ruined by death and blood.
“You look good no matter what you wear,” Rusk laughed when he saw me frowning at the tight leather clothing I’d found. It didn’t feel feminine enough to me, and it left very little to the imagination.
“I wonder who wore these,” I muttered.
I brought a second set for Evanessa. Hopefully, she wouldn’t need them. She’d likely feel as strange as I did in the foreign clothing of Axum.
She was in a heap on the bed sobbing when we arrived. Rusk ran to her, but I stood awkwardly to the side.
“I loved him so much. Tell me he isn’t dead,” she said, her face nestled into his shoulder.
Did she really think of the High Tazmin that way? It seemed too strange to me. He’d killed her family, and he was old and had a dozen other consorts. Maybe she had a tender heart like Rusk’s. More likely, she was brainwashed by his power and cruelty.
I set the clothing on a chair beside the door and sat down beside it. If I’d been able to leave Rusk alone to comfort her in private I would have, but with the tether there was no room for that. Instead, I sank into Ra’shara. I had plans to make.
“Kjexx?” I barely had his name out and he was there, running his hands worriedly through his hair.
“I almost came looking for you. We can’t stay in Axum,” he said.
“I know. It’s dying. It has weeks left, at most. An’alepp told me that before she died.” What I wouldn’t give to have her still alive. She’d know what to do about the cataclysm and the High Tazmin’s request.
“Not weeks, Tylira. Hours. You need to get back to Everturn. Look around you.”
Around us, a network of tiny cracks splintered the landscape. I squinted at them, studying them carefully. They were branching and widening as I watched.
I nodded. “I’ll go back to Everturn. And I need something from you.”
He smiled that half-grin of his that looked positively indecent. “Anything.”
“Can you contact other ancestors in Ra’shara?”
“If I want to.”
“Can you contact the ancestors of the Tazmins and ask them to meet me in Ra’shara? I want every Tazmin to come to the Cliffs of Canderabai in Ra’shara to meet in one hour.”
He tilted his head. “So soon?”
“Would you prefer I dragged my heels?”
“I’d better fly if I’m going to get that done.”
“Can you fly in Ra’shara now that you’re dead?”
He winked. “I have skills beyond your most wild imaginings.”
He probably did, but he vanished before he showed me any of them. I fell back to the real world.
“I’m not doubting you. Your pain is real and you have all my sympathy,” Rusk was saying.
“You fell in love with her, or so you tell me. And she was his least favorite daughter. He told me she was chaff
. Easily discarded. You can’t mock who I chose when you chose her.”
I could have slapped her right there. She should be thankful that Rusk loved her so much. Chaff? Really?
I saw Rusk’s fist clench, but his face was calm. “Did you really choose him? Or were you forced into an impossible situation.”
“He only wanted to keep me safe,” she said. “Can you fault him for that?”
“I’ll keep you safe now, Evanessa,” Rusk said.
She nodded, sniffling. I cleared my throat.
“We need to go,” I said. “This place could fall apart at any moment.”
“Can’t you see I’m in mourning?” Evanessa said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I looked at Rusk. Could he persuade her to come with us without a fuss? I wasn’t very good at settling ruffled feathers.
“Evanessa-” he began.
“Don’t let her hurry me. I need time to grieve.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“If you don’t come with us, we’ll all die. Rusk included,” I said. Couldn’t she understand what I was saying? “You can mourn back in Canderabai.”
“You’re heartless!” she said.
It stung as much as when Rusk said it. I stood up, picked up the clothing and tossed them to her. “Please get dressed. I’ll open a door, but I can’t hold it open for long.”
I turned and walked to the door, the tether stretched tight between Rusk and me, but the moment it slackened I strode the rest of the way out of the room and I didn’t turn around until I heard Rusk shut the door behind us.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“I’ve called a meeting of the Tazmins on the Cliffs of Canderabai. We’ll need allies to fight Catane.”
He nodded. “I’m worried about Evanessa.”
I tried to look sympathetic. After all, she had lost a husband, even if he was a cruel dictator. “We’ll take care of her.”
I clenched my jaw. It wasn’t easy to be kind when she’d cut me so deep. The old Tylira would have had a few choice words for her.
“You’re not heartless,” Rusk said. “Your heart is just wild like a hunting hawk. It has its own beauty, but it’s not the beauty of common things, or of soft things. It’s the beauty of deadly, soaring things.”
I could have melted at his words. Was he right? Was I deadly and soaring? I was. I always had been. I needed to stop cowering at the thought of death and do what I always did – conquer it and refuse to let anything intimidate me.
When Evanessa came out of her room I forced a smile. “Are you ready to go?”
My words were cut off by a ripping sound so loud that I couldn’t hear Rusk’s word despite the movements of his mouth. I grabbed his hand and he took Evanessa’s as the smell of rot filled my nose and the colors of Axum – usually too bright - drained suddenly away. I unwove as fast as I could, ripping a hole through time and space. The ground beneath our feet was too soft. We fought to step through the door like we were walking through waist deep snow. Desperately, I clutched Rusk’s hand, pushing forward with all my might.
We broke through the rip, tumbling out the door onto the Cliffs of Canderabai. As I unwove the rip, the world of Axum melted like a hot candle, collapsing in on itself. I swallowed hard. There would be no more sanctuary there. Kjexx’s home was lost forever.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I WISH THAT PARSAD COULD have brought me here,” Evanessa whispered as she stepped to the edge of the cliff.
By the twist of Rusk’s mouth, he was not thinking the same thing. I ran a hand through my hair. Had I just watched a world disappear? What had happened to the people who lived there? To the Black Talon and the gorgeous statuary and the Heart of Veen? Had it melted away like snow in the sun?
I swallowed hard, looking out over the vista beneath the cliffs to try to settle my racing heart. As soon as I caught sight of the cliff edge, bright in the noonday sun, and of Al’Karida shining in the distance below, the memories that came to me were so vivid that I could almost taste my fear again from the night that Rusk and I were first bound together. I felt him flinch beside me and I reached out and caught his hand. He squeezed it tightly but sent me a reassuring smile. We would be okay. What was done to us wasn’t all of who we were. We couldn’t look back and let it consume us. Not when it came to the memories on the cliffs, and not when it came to what happened in Axum.
I heard the cry of a hawk in the distance. The subtle shift in Rusk’s stance meant he’d heard it, too. Would he call to the bird? Would he bring it in to see us? I sat down on a large stone, positioning myself as well as I could. I needed to be ready to meet the Tazmins in Ra’shara.
“I think you should go there in the flesh and bring us with you,” Rusk said. “Once they’re all there.”
I bit my lip. Could I risk spending much time there in the flesh? An’alepp had frowned on that. And Catane could find us and destroy us.
“I need to see them. If they are going to fight with us, I need to see who they are and assess them myself.” Rusk’s eyes glinted, like he was the hawk hunting in the distance.
I nodded, still thinking. I had to rely on Rusk in this. I was no general. I would be far too busy fighting Catane to be able to spare any thought to the way an army was laid out or the necessary movements of men in the middle of a battle.
“I’ll bring you both with me when they arrive.”
“I’m certain you can win their support.”
I wasn’t so certain. Evanessa had made it clear that my father had very little regard for me. Who else had he shared such misgivings with? Should I be worried that they would choose Catane instead? He was my brother, with as much claim to the throne as I had. No one here knew of his cruel reign in Veen.
“Evanessa is a compassionate girl. She was always full of convictions about bringing justice to the poor and caring about the needs of everyone in our kingdom. Whatever they did to her, I’m sure it will wear off,” he said.
“It’s hard to believe that right now.” I chewed my lip, strategizing, as Evanessa stood at the edge of the cliff with her arms wrapped around herself, looking out across the horizon.
“Trust me,” he said, then after a moment his head cocked to the side the way it did when he was speaking to the birds. Other than a few little tweeting birds, I hadn’t seen any yet but by the look of concentration on his face, we’d be seeing some soon.
I should trust him about Evanessa. It made sense that she would be a bit out of her mind with everything she’d been through but she was Rusk’s sister and if he said she was trustworthy, then of course she was.
After a little while Evanessa came and stood beside him and the two of them whispered together. I was too busy concentrating to eavesdrop.
It was about thirty minutes of me drifting in and out of Ra’shara before Kjexx appeared, looking around at the ghostly version of the Cliffs of Canderabai.
“Nice place you have here. Planning to throw people off the cliffs if they don’t join you?”
“You laugh, but that’s exactly what they were planning to do to me if I didn’t accept the mark that brands me as heir and as your Windbearer.”
He gave a low whistle. “Nice crowd. They make Catane almost seem like a walk through the flowers.”
“In Canderabai you walk between rows of flowers at funerals.”
“Seriously, you folks need to rethink your traditions.” He shifted one of the huge feathers on his back into a better position.
“Says the man who sports three bulky feathers as tall as he is on his back and a glowing letter over his head everywhere he goes.”
“The other ancestors here seem afraid of my ko,” he said. “For that reason alone, I’ve grown quite fond of it. Yours is looking brighter. Are you becoming more yourself?”
“What?”
“That’s just a thing we say; if your ko is bright, you’re becoming more yourself.”
In a way, I supposed, I was more myself. I would have thought I would be less
myself now that I’d had to give up things I held dear and accept things I wanted to avoid. Maybe, instead of losing myself that way, it was just paring me down into a more real version of me.
“They’ll be here soon,” he said.
“I’ll be bringing Rusk and Evanessa here in the flesh.”
“Who is Evanessa?”
“Rusk’s sister.”
“Is she pretty?”
I rolled my eyes and waited. Eventually, figures flickered into being and ancestors popped out of nothing, slowly forming a silent ring around us. I counted. Nineteen. Twenty. There should be fifty-two Tazmins and Tazmineras of a rank to join us. Only twenty-one appeared.
“We are missing some. Lesser Tazmin Almud. Lesser Tazminera Cadara-”
Kjexx cut me off. “All who still live are here.”
I let that sink in for a moment. Catane must have cut a wide swath already. Did he have Azaradi completely in his power?
I cleared my throat. “In that case, if you will bear with me a moment, I will return.”
I sank back into the real world and nodded to Rusk. “It’s time.”
He motioned to Evanessa. He must have told her to expect this because there were no complaints. I ripped a hole into Ra’shara and together we stepped into the circle of flickering Tazmins and Tazmineras. Gasps greeted us, and in some cases, hands flung up as if to ward off evil.
“Sweet Penspray, she brought them here in the flesh!” Lesser Tazmin Cadram stepped forward as he spoke, his brows knitting together. “You can’t do that.”
“I just did,” I said calmly. “And while we’re talking about what people can and can’t do, you should know that my half-brother Catane Nyota has done the same thing – only he did it to bring an army to Canderabai.”
“The same could be said of you,” Lesser Tazmin Nur stepped up to join Cadram in front of the others. His flowing ceremonial robes looked ridiculous on his portly frame. “I sent a troop of men to the Silken Gardens only to discover that they are occupied by an army claiming to be yours. If you were granted the Silken Gardens, I never heard of it! Those lands are Nur family lands.”
Thunder Rattles High (Unweaving Chronicles Book 3) Page 7
