I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I had realized who I was and what I wanted that day. Tony was nothing. None of the guys I’d been with were anything. I wanted Max. If only she would want me. I wished I could visit her in New York like Selene did. Then maybe I could make something happen. If I had the guts to go for it.
I pulled Tanya to the door. “Let’s go.”
“I’m coming. Don’t yank my arm.”
“I told you,” I heard Tony say as we left, “she’s poison.”
No, I’m not, I thought. Not to Max.
* * *
THE LINEUP OUTSIDE THE PURPLE PELICAN was long, but the doorman let us in with a smile—once I promised him a dance.
The Pelican was hot. We walked down the curved staircase to the mingling area and looked out over the sunken dance floor. Guys in casual baggies through to a girl in a corset. A small goth faction yelled over the music to each other. A guy with a green Mohawk was dancing like a windmill. The lights were neon purple tubing so everyone glowed pale and cool.
It was mostly a check-out fest. Voyeurs counting the dance styles on the floor, and heavy breathers deciding which dancers they wished they could take home. Then there were the shy ones, who just stared at each other wondering what to do next.
The tune was an ’80s song. Very cheese. The beat pounded through the floor up into my boots. My legs shook with anticipation. I was getting some admiring looks so I was feeling pretty good.
“Where are they?” Tanya’s big boobs bumped against my arm. I took a step back. She wasn’t my type.
“Who knows?”
I didn’t care that I couldn’t see Selene or Max anywhere. I wanted to anticipate their arrival.
I watched the dancers. Green Mohawk smacked a girl in the face. She shoved him back hard. He dominoed a few dancers then bounced away, still dancing.
I laughed. That was why I liked the Pelican. No rules.
Then I saw Max. The most beautiful girl ever. She was level with me, across the pit of dancing, writhing bodies. And she was watching me.
I just stared at her. My cheeks heated up and I got tingly and jittery inside. She had this sideways smile just for me. I waved then wished I hadn’t. How lame—waving at her!
“There they are!” Tanya finally noticed.
We started toward each other, weaving through the people on the raised platform that circled the dance floor. Selene followed Max, who towered over her and the crowd. Tanya fell behind and I couldn’t wait for her.
“Jennifer, you look fabulous!” Max said over the music.
“You too!” I could barely get the words out.
Max hugged me then kissed both my cheeks. Her hair was silky against my skin. Same sleek straight hair as Selene’s, only deep brown instead of blond. She’d cut it shorter—it was just down to her shoulders now—and she’d streaked it white near her face.
“We’re going to have a great night,” she whispered in my ear.
Did she mean that?
Max was wearing a white belly top that showed a portrait of the queen of spades tight across her breasts, cutoff black jean shorts with a studded leather belt, and black-and-white striped leggings. High cheekbones, rich mocha skin, and almond-shaped gray eyes. Gorgeous.
“Like, we had no trouble getting past that doorman!” Selene was looking proud to be the one who had brought Max. Like she owned her. Like Max was hers alone.
“Anything with tits could get past that bulldog,” I said. Max laughed. So did the others.
Selene was thicker than Max, but she knew how to dress, too. Tonight she was wearing a way-short, clinging, blue skirt with a silver top that looked like lingerie.
“You got your eyebrow pierced!” Tanya said to Max after a quick hug. “Does it get infected easily?”
Max raised the eyebrow in a sexy way. “Never, Tanya, baby.”
A jealous pang. Max would never go for Tanya, would she? I wanted Max to look at me that way. Like that day on the dock.
A girl with her hair dyed purple to match the club walked by carrying a tray high over her head. She was dressed all in black, with the Purple Pelican logo on her shirt.
“Like, we need some guys to buy us drinks.” Selene began to eye a crowd of men near the bar who had already noticed us.
No, I thought. No competition for Max. “Let’s just hang together.”
“What fun is that?” Tanya said.
“Yeah, we want some excitement, don’t we, Max?” Selene elbowed her.
“Sure.”
The guys were smiling at us. Selene smoothed her top and stuck out her chest. Tanya slung one hip out and giggled. Max smiled and gave my hand a quick squeeze.
“Just a drink,” she said.
I loved how she was trying to take care of me.
The guys left the bar and wandered over. What could I do?
“Wanna dance?” the cutest one asked Max. He had short sandy hair, the stubble of a beard, a strong chin, and a thick neck.
Before Max could answer, Selene grabbed his hand. “Great!” She pulled him down the stairs to the dance floor. Selene’s a skunk, but she did me a favor.
Soon we were all dancing. Not that I wanted to. Max got the fat guy, so that was good. Tanya hooked onto the jock. Big and stupid. Probably liked football. I ended up with the thin one. A mirror of black clothes like my own.
Might as well get a drink out of this, I thought.
I fused with my guy in the usual way and moved with him, watching Max as I did. My guy was a good dancer. I could fake liking him for a while. Not that I wanted him, or any guy. Tanya’s guy danced like a square block of wood, tipping his heavy body back and forth with no rhythm. Max was laughing at something the fat guy had said. I tried to catch her eye but she didn’t notice.
No chance to get close. I had to think. It went this way every time Max came in. Go to a club. Meet some guys. Get drinks out of them. I didn’t want this again. How could I make this go my way?
“Let’s get a table,” I said to my guy.
“Great. I’ll buy you a drink,” he crooned into my ear.
I smiled and tilted my head toward him—the old habits kicking in. “Red wine.”
“I’ll have one, too.” Selene looked at her man.
“Me too,” Tanya and Max said together, then laughed. We found a tall table we could squeeze around, standing up. The guys disappeared.
“Like, how long do you give them?” Selene giggled. “Three minutes.” Tanya checked her watch.
The faster the drinks came the more desperate the guys were. Sixty-eight seconds was our record. Three and a half minutes later, the guys reappeared with wine and beers. Too slow.
“Cheers, doll,” said Tanya’s guy. He smashed his heavy beer bottle into her glass, spilling some of her drink. A red stain spread across her pink top.
“I am not a doll,” Tanya mouthed off at him. “And don’t spill my drink.”
Go, Tanya! I managed a laugh and gulped back all my wine.
“You want another?” my guy asked.
“Of course.” I sent him off. Now to get to Max.
But Selene’s guy had managed to get himself between Max and Selene, and he was chatting up Max. Selene was trying to interrupt, but he blocked her with his shoulder. On Max’s other side, the fat guy was trying to get her attention, too.
God, would I ever get close? Suddenly the Pelican didn’t look so hot anymore. Peeling black paint. Pipes running across the ceiling. Dried crud on the table. Was this going to be just another lost night?
Tanya and her jock were actually hitting it off. Selene was trying to pull her guy back to the dance floor and away from Max. Max was talking friendly to both the guys who were after her. Then my guy turned up again with my second drink.
“Here you are, babe.” He put one arm around me.
He smelled like cheap cologne. I pushed him off. This was turning into a guy-girl pairing. I couldn’t stand it. I had to do something.
I pushed past the fat guy a
nd shoved my way into Max’s conversation. I met her eyes.
“Want to dance?” I extended my hand, palm up.
The question wasn’t so weird at the Pelican, where anything goes. Would Max get my meaning?
There was a beat of silence. I realized that every person gathered around our small table was staring at me.
I shivered. My hand trembled, suddenly cold and exposed. Why didn’t Max say something? I continued to stare into her eyes. She didn’t break my gaze, but she didn’t answer me either.
Then Selene’s guy piped up. “What, are you gay, or something?”
Tanya’s guy sniggered, like it was some great joke. His shoulders shook with laughter. Max’s eyes became more intense. Selene gasped.
“God! Oh, god! No way!” Selene was waving her hands in front of her like she wanted to push me away.
She knew. She knew. Come on, Max. Say something. “What’s going on?” my guy asked.
“So she’s gay. It’s no big deal. I figured it out ages ago.” Tanya sounded calm.
Shut up, I wanted to scream. I don’t care what you think. I only wanted an answer from Max. She had to know what I was asking. What would she do? What was she thinking?
Selene linked arms with Max, her chin sticking out defiantly. I knew what she was saying. That I had no claim. That Max was her cousin, her friend. But it wasn’t up to her.
Then finally, Max’s face broke. She smiled and the chaos around me melted away. “Love to.”
It was that simple. Everyone fell silent. Max shook Selene off and put her hand in mine. We walked that way down the stairs to the dance floor. My hand hot in hers and my whole body singing with pleasure.
The music was blasting in my ears. Some boppy tune—I don’t even remember what song it was. I softened into Max, and we grooved like we belonged together. Our eyes were locked, even when Mohawk guy tried to slice between us. The next song was slower. Max smiled, leaned in, and gave me a long kiss on the lips. Her lips were soft, so soft. A cinnamon scent. She lingered just long enough to make me want to dive in for more.
I don’t know how long we danced, but after a while I saw Selene and Tanya at the railing watching us. The guys were with them.
Selene looked a bit huffy but now she had three guys fawning over her. Tanya was just enjoying her man. She gave me a thumbs up. “What took you so long?” she mouthed over the music.
I gave her a thumbs up right back and slid closer to Max. This was me—the real me—and I didn’t care who saw. Johnny, Flynn, or even Tony.
I’m not misunderstood now, I thought.
I wrinkled my nose in that sexy way and twisted my hips until my black vinyl dress slid against Max’s jean shorts. Max smiled and rubbed her queen of spades against me. Delicious.
Take the Stairs
Tony
Apt. 818
MY BAT SMACKED THE BALL with a satisfying crack. I knew it was well hit from the warmth that spread across my shoulders and into my arms. I tossed the bat to the side and began to sprint down the first base line.
“He can hit, too!” the guy named Lome said, loud enough for me to hear.
I fired the jets a bit more. I could run, when I wanted to.
As I rounded first I eyed the guy in the outfield who was scrambling for the ball. A novice. Didn’t even follow the arc. These little rich guys didn’t know so much. I predicted the ball would be over the fence.
When the ball went out of the park I slowed my pace, but I slid into home lying down full on my side, just for kicks. The novice was still trying to climb the fence.
A chorus of raunchy cheers rose up, making me smile.
“All right!” Lome, in his sharp clothes, walked toward me, his shoulders punching the air. He was about my age but he must have had a job to be able to afford those clothes.
“Where’d you come from, anyway? I’ve never seen you here before.” Lome lifted his shades to get a better look at me.
“Just passing through.” I picked myself up. I wasn’t going to tell him that I cut through this neighborhood on the way back from my cousin’s place just to save the bus fare.
“We smack the ball around here most Sundays,” Lome said. “Maybe you can drop by next week. If you’re on my team.”
“Sure. Nothing else to do.”
“Great.” Lome slapped me on the back and a cloud of dust fell over us. “Need a ride?”
Guys and girls around us were jumping on bikes, heading toward cars, talking over the plays.
“Huh?”
“Do you need a ride, buddy?”
The Building sprang into my mind. The balconies speckled with rust. Broken crap lying all over the place. Crazy Tate who would dash out at a car as it pulled into the circle, just to freak out the driver. Tate was harmless enough, but he had lost too many of his brain cells during the sixties.
I hesitated, thinking up my excuse. I was about to lie that I’d brought my father’s car when I saw the girl.
She walked up beside Lome and linked arms with him. I could see her curves under her shorts and tank top. Too bad she was Lome’s girl.
“Hey, big brother. Let’s go.”
I let out a breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding. Not Lome’s girl. Maybe she’d be interested … but no. Not a little rich girl.
“Hey, Sue. This is Tony.”
Sue’s eyes fell on me, and I began to heat up.
“Nice moves.” She jerked her chin at me then turned away, distracted.
Her brown hair was tucked under a backward baseball cap but I wanted to see her hair loose. I imagined it falling like a tent over my face—so close the air between us was overpowered by an animal scent. Her long legs wrapped around me.
I shook my head to get rid of her. She was invading me like a virus.
“Hey, bud?” Lome smacked a ball into his glove.
“Uh?”
Sue was examining her nails as if deciding which one to devour. The curve of her nose was a delicious mini ski jump.
“That ride?”
“Sure.”
I followed them toward a Jimmy. Sue got in the front with Lome. The sun gleamed off the side of the truck so that I had to squint to find the handle, hot to the touch.
I opened the door part way. New-car smell wafted over me as waves of heat poured out.
“Get in.” Lome started the engine.
“Right.” I slid into the seat behind Sue. Lome was blasting the air conditioning and opening all the windows with the remote controls. Sue took off her hat and her hair fell down to her shoulders. She hung a bronzed elbow out her window. I tugged the door shut.
“Where do you live?” Lome asked, swinging the Jimmy out of the parking lot.
Sue turned the radio to a Psychedelic Furs tune.
“By the valley.” The air was whooshing through the Jimmy but sweat still poured out of me.
“Way down there?” he yelled over the music.
“Yeah.”
The skin on Sue’s shoulders was smooth and tanned. A few long hairs hung over the seat. I stroked them with the back of one finger. Jerked my hand away when Lome turned to talk baseball. Sue was nothing like Jennifer had ever been. Jennifer had been easy to get, but she stung like hell. Ever since she’d cheated with Josh I told myself she wasn’t worth my time. Now I heard she was dating some girl from New York! Unbelievable.
I didn’t want Sue to see where I lived, so I had to get Lome to drop me someplace. Not too far a walk in this heat, though. The ride was nice. Then I thought of Mickey’s house, with its three-car garage and a pool. His parents were away for the weekend. Only Mickey and his brother would be around. Mickey’s house would be mine today. Perfect.
“You know a guy down there by the name of Valentine?” Lome asked. “Lives on Sherbet Street?”
I’d heard of him. Played ball with him. Sherbet was three streets from the Building. Mickey’s street.
“No,” I said.
Sue flicked her hair out of my reach.
“Oh.” Lome sounded disappointed. “He’s our second cousin.”
Damn. Not Mickey’s house then. Maybe I could just get them to drop me at a corner somewhere.
I leaned forward into Sue’s zone, pretending to listen to Lome. She smelled sweet, like I’d expected. My head spun. I backed off.
Then I caught a glimpse of Sue’s eyes in the passenger side mirror. Curious and amused. She had seen me lean into her, but she didn’t tell me off.
* * *
TEN MINUTES LATER, I WAS STILL TRYING to figure out where to get dropped. The windows were rolled up because the air conditioner was finally cooling. I told Lome to head down Sherbet Street. Maybe I could make this work out. I would play it loose.
Mickey was in front of his house playing basketball with a few guys. His brother, a guy I didn’t know, and Valentine.
Damn.
Lorne pulled the truck to a stop in front of Mickey’s. I cracked the window open. Mickey saw me.
“Tony! What are you doing here?”
Good thing I didn’t tell Lome this was my house.
“Just getting a ride.” I winked at Mickey after his eyes checked Sue over.
“Hey, Valentine!” Lome called across Sue in the passenger seat.
Valentine strode over to the Jimmy, his big knees bending sideways like a giant grasshopper’s. He was squinting against the sun, trying to peer into the truck.
“Lome! Sue!” he called when he got up close. Then he saw me. “Hey, Tony!”
Lome spun to look at me. “I thought you didn’t know Valentine.”
I shrugged. “Oh. This Valentine. I thought you meant a different one.”
Like I knew hundreds of guys named Valentine. What guy would want to be named Valentine, anyway?
Lome shook his head and let it go. He and Valentine got to talking.
I opened my door. “You can just drop me here. I’ll walk.” My hand was resting on the back of Sue’s seat. I had one foot out of the Jimmy. Sue swiveled and put her hand over mine. Her hair swung out like a fan as she turned and her sweet scent invaded me again.
Take the Stairs Page 13