by Lisa Jackson
“His name is … what?” She turned and James heard a deep voice that he recognized instantly. “Oh yes … Detective Richard Bentz,” she said, looking at Father McClaren again.
James’s chest tightened. The soft classical music he’d been listening to seemed to fade. What would bring his half-brother here? Only the direst of circumstances. Kristi. James’s mouth went dry. “Send him in,” he said, turning away from his computer screen. Next week’s sermon would have to wait.
As Wanda stepped aside to let Bentz enter, James steeled himself. Any conversation with Bentz turned into a confrontation.
“Father,” Bentz said with a nod and James, standing, forced a smile.
“Thank you, Wanda,” James said, slanting a glance at the woman still hovering in the doorway. She got the hint and slipped outside. The door shut with a soft thud. James extended his hand across the desk. He relaxed a little. If something was seriously wrong with Kristi, it would have been evident in the lines on Bentz’s face. As it was his half-brother looked worried, but not filled with despair or grief. “Long time, no see. How’re ya, Rick?”
Bentz took his hand in a bear-like clasp that was as brief as it was strong. “Okay.” He settled into one of the visitor’s chairs and James remembered how much, as a boy, he’d looked up to his older brother. How close they’d been. As children, Rick had always been there for him. While growing up, Bentz had shown him how to throw a baseball, shoot a twenty-two and sneak booze from the old man’s liquor cabinet. Rick had scoffed at James’s piety, and once taken on Freddy Mason when Freddy and some friends had picked a fight with James in the school yard, calling him a sissy and a “Mama’s boy.” Rick had knocked Freddy flat, then, when the older boys had left with their tails tucked between their collective legs, Rick had turned on his half brother and kicked James’s butt from one side of Orange County to the other. He’d told James that Freddy had been right. James was a “Mama’s boy” and all that candy-assed stuff about God and Church had to be hidden away or he’d get into big trouble. It was time for James to fight his own battles.
The next week James had asked Rick to show him how to box and in the next year, after growing six inches and putting on thirty pounds, James had been able to stand up for himself. They’d been tight way back when and James had always felt awe for his stronger half brother; a kid who’d grown up not knowing his own father, a policeman shot in the line of duty.
Even so, eventually James and Rick had taken far different paths and eventually James had betrayed his older brother. And he’d been paying for it ever since.
Now, he dropped into his worn desk chair.
“How ‘bout you?” Rick asked without so much as a smile, as if he didn’t really give a damn. “You okay these days?”
“Can’t complain.” Drawing in a tight breath James asked a question that had been on his mind for months. “How’s Kristi?”
“Fine.”
“In school?”
“Yeah.” Bentz’s eyes dared him to go further.
He took the challenge. “Up at All Saints?”
“That’s right.”
“She doin’ okay?”
“As I said, ‘fine'.”
“Coming home for Thanksgiving?” James asked, eager for any little tidbit of information about the daughter who had believed he was her uncle until a few months ago.
“Yeah.” A muscle worked in the side of Bentz’s face as if he, too, were remembering the scene after he’d handed Kristi the condemning letter, then left a message on James’s answering machine explaining that he’d finally told her the truth. James had hoped for some kind of bonding, a healing, and he’d been sorely disappointed. Kristi had summarily rejected him, and told him to “Fuck off” when he’d called. The short, furious, one-sided conversation still rang in his ears.
“Don’t you ever call me, okay? You’re a goddamned hypocrite and I don’t want you praying for me, either, just leave me the hell alone!” she’d cried and slammed down the phone. He had prayed for her. Hours. Hoping she would see him. Speak with him, let him explain … If she only knew how much he loved her, had loved her mother.. maybe more than God. When Jennifer had admitted that she was pregnant with his child, he’d offered to quit the priesthood, had been willing to take the heat of his brother’s wrath, God’s fury, even to accept the specter of being ex-communicated, but she’d refused … She couldn’t accept the scandal, so they’d covered up the truth for a while. Now, he tapped his desk, feeling shame. Feeling that same familiar guilt.
Rick was still glaring at him. “I didn’t come here to talk about her,” he said tersely.
James nodded, trying to ignore that particular pang of emptiness whenever he thought about Kristi. “I know. And I guess I’m glad. I was afraid something was wrong with her when you showed up.”
“This isn’t about her.”
“All right, but…” He opened his hands and wondered how to ever bridge the gap between them. Through God, he’d told himself over and over, but for some reason the Father hadn’t seen fit to mend their small family. And that, too, was James’s fault. For he’d never forgotten Jennifer and years after Kristi was born, he and the mother of his child had sinned again. He cleared his throat. “I was worried … You know, she won’t respond to my letters or my e-mail.”
“Then leave it be, James,” Bentz said, his lips compressed.
“But—”
“I said ‘leave it'; if she wants to contact you, she will. Until then you just leave it alone.”
“I’ve prayed and—”
Bentz snorted, the way of nonbelievers but even so, James felt no sense of superiority in his faith. It was prideful, of course, to feel that smugness. And a sin. Even those who desperately needed God’s love sometimes rejected James’s attempts to lead them to the Father. For those who couldn’t find that faith, he felt despair, and, in some cases, unfortunately a sense of superiority. However not today. Not when it came to Kristi. James couldn’t rely on his faith for he’d transgressed so badly, wounded his brother so bitterly, that God seemed to have shunned helping him. Rick Bentz had, at one time, been his role model, the older brother James had looked up to and emulated.
But that was before James had met Jennifer. And the weekend that had changed their lives forever.
God help him.
“I’m here on business,” Bentz said, getting down to it as he leaned over the desk. “Here’s the deal. We’ve got another sicko loose, a serial killer.”
“I saw it on the news.”
“Yeah, well, there are certain things I can’t talk about, of course, things that we’re keeping from the public, so I guess I’m here as a … penitent or confessor or whatever it is the Church calls it these days.” He made a brushing motion with his hand, as if it was of no consequence. “I just want to make sure that if I talk to you, it’ll go no further, right? This is between you, me and God.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” Rick was dead-serious and James recognized the look. He’d seen it in the past. The grim, focused expression had always been a part of Bentz whether he donned it before a boxing match in high school or right before his fist had crashed into James’s face and broken his nose. James hadn’t seen it coming. But he hadn’t known that Jennifer had confessed to Rick that she was carrying his half-brother’s child. That one blow had been symbolic of the rift that was to come. James had tried to reconnect with his half brother, to play the role of uncle to his own child, but Rick had only grudgingly allowed it, probably for the sole purpose of hiding the painful truth and to protect Kristi.
“Then, yes. You can trust that this will go no further.”
Again the corners of Bentz’s mouth tightened, but he didn’t comment on trusting his half brother. “The killer has struck three women that we know about, potentially more. The women have a couple of things that link them, but one of the strongest is that I think they were all murdered on a Saint’s feast day.”
“Wh
at?” James didn’t think he’d heard correctly.
“It seems they were killed on the feast day purposely. There are clues to back this up.”
“Dear God,” James whispered, sketching a quick sign of the cross over himself. “But if that were the case then there could be dozens … or hundreds of victims.” He pointed to the calendar hung over his desk. “Look at today. It’s the feast day of St. Catherine of Alexandria, the patron saint of maidens and philosophers and students and preachers.”
“Damn.” Bentz glared at the calendar, then asked, “How did she die?”
“Horribly. Well, all the martyrs did … Here …” He swivelled in his chair and searched the bookcase behind him before he found the heavy book he wanted; one devoted entirely to the saints. What Bentz was speculating was heinous; crimes not only against the victims but the Church itself. To think someone would misconstrue the veneration of those canonized and twist it into murder was unthinkable. Twisted and evil.
As he slid a pair of reading glasses onto his nose, James flipped open the book, scanned the chapters and, thumbing quickly through the pages, found what he was looking for. “Here we go.” He pushed the open book across the desk.
The color drained from his half-brother’s face. “Tortured by being strapped to a spiked wheel.”
“That was the idea, yes.”
“Jesus,” Bentz whispered, his eyes scanning the page. “Her bonds were miraculously loosened and the spikes flew off to kill the onlookers.”
“And when that didn’t work she was beheaded.”
Bentz nodded slowly, his gaze glued to the text.
“It’s said that her blood flowed white. Like milk.” James scratched his neck beneath his clerical collar. “And all because she committed the sin of converting people to Christianity.” Folding his hands, James leaned over his desk. “If you have a killer who is copying the murders of the saints, you’re going to be very busy, I’m afraid. And he won’t be satisfied killing only women. Men and children as well will be at risk. There are hundreds of saints … thousands.” Inwardly James shivered. He skewered his half-brother’s gaze with his own. “This is unthinkable.”
“A lot of unthinkable acts have been performed in the name of God.”
“I know.”
Bentz flipped through the tome, the lines of his face deepening as he scanned the thin pages. “Do you mind if I take this? I’ll return it.”
“If it will help. Of course.”
“Thanks. Now, I’ve got something else I hope you can interpret.”
“I’ll try.”
Reaching into his pocket, Bentz withdrew copies of the notes Olivia had taken after her nightmares or “visions” surrounding the woman chained within a crypt. “Does this mean anything to you?” he asked. “Could those notations have anything to do with one of these saints?” He tapped the book with two fingers.
James adjusted his reading glasses. At first the letters and symbols meant nothing. “Is there anything else you can tell me about it?” he asked, studying the symbols.
“Yeah … if it’s connected with a saint, the feast day would have been in summer, I think. Probably August. Maybe July.”
“Philomena,” James said as the letters began to connect. He picked up the book again, but he knew before he thumbed through the pages what he would find. “LUMENA, PAXTE, CUMFI. It’s Latin, but mixed up. Supposedly these words were found inscribed in red on the tomb of Saint Philomena. When the tiled letters were changed around a little bit, the message read, ‘Pax tecum, Filumena,’ or ‘Peace be with you, Philomena.’ ”
“What about the symbols?” Bentz asked.
“On the tiles of the tomb.” James glanced down at the text. “I suppose they’re open to interpretation, but the tomb of this Roman girl was found in 1802. It’s thought that aside from the letters, the inscriptions on the tiles were of a lily, a palm, the arrows, anchor and a scourge, see here—” he pointed to the crude drawings. “That’s the lily and it means she was a virgin. The palm is symbolic of being a martyr and the weapons depict the tortures she went through.” He pointed to the arrows. “Even these squiggly lines over the arrow are supposed to represent fire, but of course, that’s speculation as nothing is recorded about her. She was also found with a vial of dried blood, presumably hers, within the tomb.”
“Her own blood? Why?”
James shrugged. “That’s the mystery of Philomena. Not much is known about her or who she was. Though she’s got a loyal following, the Church has wavered, even suppressing her feast day in the early sixties, I think. She’s gained favor again, at least with some of her supplicants, those who invoke her name in every sort of need.”
“She performs miracles?” Bentz asked, obviously skeptical.
“That’s right.” James handed the pages to his half-brother. “She was recognized as a saint solely upon her powerful intercession.”
“You mean she grants prayer requests?”
“Yes.”
“Has she ever granted one for you?” Bentz asked as he stood and folded the well-worn piece of paper into his pocket.
“I’ve yet to ask.” Again James slid the book across the desk. “Anything else I can do for you?”
“Yeah.” Bentz started for the door. “Pray.”
“I always do.”
That stopped him cold. He looked over his shoulder and pinned James in his harsh glare. “I’m okay, James. I don’t need your prayers except about this case.”
“Old habits die hard.” James rounded the desk. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.”
“I will.” Bentz’s hand was on the doorknob.
“And would you please tell Kristi that … that I wish her well?”
Every muscle in his half-brother’s body tensed. He rounded. “What good would that do? She knows the truth, that you’re more than her uncle, okay. She gets it. Let her deal.” He turned then and torment shadowed the anger that snapped in his eyes. “It’s hard enough for a kid to learn that the man who raised her isn’t her father. Then add to it that the real father turns out to be an uncle who just happens to also be a priest. That’s a helluva lot for a kid to take, don’t you think?”
“Yes … I know … I mean …” The old anguish tore at James’s soul. “I’ve told you I’m sorry. I’ve talked to God. If I could do everything over …”
“What? You wouldn’t have gotten it on with my wife? You wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant? Kristi wouldn’t have been born?” Bentz raged, then stopped suddenly and the cords in his neck became less visible. “Forget it, James. And next time, let me do the praying. How about that? I’ll pray for you, okay? I think you need it a helluva lot more than I do.”
With that he swung out of the door, nearly knocking over Wanda who just happened to be hovering nearby. James let out his breath, made the sign of the cross and sent up another prayer for forgiveness …. as he had each and every day for the past eighteen years.
But his half-brother was right. Had he not been seduced by Jennifer, Kristi would never have been born and that, in and of itself, would have been the greatest sin of all. He’d been a seminary student when he’d met his brother’s wife. He’d let down his guard one weekend during a time Rick and Jennifer had briefly separated. He could still remember the taste of saltwater on her skin, the feel of hot sand against his back on the beach near Newport … Those memories had been with him for years and when she’d offered herself again, years later, when her marriage was on the rocks and she could no longer take being tied to a cop who’d mistakenly shot a kid close to Kristi’s age and had begun pouring himself into a bottle … James had tried to console her and had ended up making love to her in the marriage bed she shared with his half brother.
Unfortunately Rick had chosen that afternoon to stop by the house.
Within a month Jennifer Nichols Bentz was dead. Had she killed herself? James suspected as much, though her death was ruled an accident. But the antidepressants, the booze, the clear weathe
r conditions didn’t explain why her car left the road and slammed into a tree.
James’s throat thickened. No wonder his brother hated him. Kristi was right. He was a hypocrite who should have walked away from the priesthood. Instead he’d spent the past eighteen years begging God’s forgiveness.
But you couldn’t leave her alone, could you? You couldn‘t resist. And she died. God punished not only you, but your brother and your daughter.
There was a light tap at the door and he looked up, expecting that Bentz had left something and was returning for it. Instead, Monsignor O’Hara swept in. He was a tall, graceful man, soft-spoken, but with a bearing that set him apart from his peers. Wearing a plain alb, he shut the door softly behind him. “Is everything all right?”
What a joke. Nothing was right. “I suppose.”
“Mrs. Landry said the police were here.”
Of course. Wanda Landry had felt compelled to spread the word. She was a gossip; a pious gossip, but a gossip nonetheless and she seemed to take particular delight in the troubles of others. James suspected that she was involved in the prayer chain primarily to learn of bad news and pass it along. “It was only one policeman who happens to be my half-brother.”
“Oh.” The monsignor frowned thoughtfully. “I didn’t know you had any family around.”
“We’re not close.” And whose fault is that?
“Maybe that will change,” the monsignor said.
“Perhaps.” James didn’t elaborate. He figured that his family was his business. Bentz’s father had been a policeman killed in the line of duty. His wife had married his partner, who had treated Rick as if he were his own flesh and blood. However, he’d left the boy with the surname of his biological father—a gift and, perhaps, in retrospect a burden.
“So there’s no trouble?” O’Hara asked, a guarded smile stretching across his strong jaw. Though in his fifties, Monsignor O’Hara worked out regularly. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on the older man’s body. He seemed a sincere, if distant soul though James realized that he knew little of the man with whom he’d been partnered for several years.
